History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter vii.

  A short sketch of that felicity which prudent couples may extract fromhatred: with a short apology for those people who overlookimperfections in their friends.

  Though the captain had effectually demolished poor Partridge, yet hadhe not reaped the harvest he hoped for, which was to turn thefoundling out of Mr Allworthy's house.

  On the contrary, that gentleman grew every day fonder of little Tommy,as if he intended to counterbalance his severity to the father withextraordinary fondness and affection towards the son.

  This a good deal soured the captain's temper, as did all the otherdaily instances of Mr Allworthy's generosity; for he looked on allsuch largesses to be diminutions of his own wealth.

  In this, we have said, he did not agree with his wife; nor, indeed, inanything else: for though an affection placed on the understanding is,by many wise persons, thought more durable than that which is foundedon beauty, yet it happened otherwise in the present case. Nay, theunderstandings of this couple were their principal bone of contention,and one great cause of many quarrels, which from time to time arosebetween them; and which at last ended, on the side of the lady, in asovereign contempt for her husband; and on the husband's, in an utterabhorrence of his wife.

  As these had both exercised their talents chiefly in the study ofdivinity, this was, from their first acquaintance, the most commontopic of conversation between them. The captain, like a well-bred man,had, before marriage, always given up his opinion to that of the lady;and this, not in the clumsy awkward manner of a conceited blockhead,who, while he civilly yields to a superior in an argument, is desirousof being still known to think himself in the right. The captain, onthe contrary, though one of the proudest fellows in the world, soabsolutely yielded the victory to his antagonist, that she, who hadnot the least doubt of his sincerity, retired always from the disputewith an admiration of her own understanding and a love for his.

  But though this complacence to one whom the captain thoroughlydespised, was not so uneasy to him as it would have been had any hopesof preferment made it necessary to show the same submission to aHoadley, or to some other of great reputation in the science, yet eventhis cost him too much to be endured without some motive. Matrimony,therefore, having removed all such motives, he grew weary of thiscondescension, and began to treat the opinions of his wife with thathaughtiness and insolence, which none but those who deserve somecontempt themselves can bestow, and those only who deserve no contemptcan bear.

  When the first torrent of tenderness was over, and when, in the calmand long interval between the fits, reason began to open the eyes ofthe lady, and she saw this alteration of behaviour in the captain, whoat length answered all her arguments only with pish and pshaw, she wasfar from enduring the indignity with a tame submission. Indeed, it atfirst so highly provoked her, that it might have produced sometragical event, had it not taken a more harmless turn, by filling herwith the utmost contempt for her husband's understanding, whichsomewhat qualified her hatred towards him; though of this likewise shehad a pretty moderate share.

  The captain's hatred to her was of a purer kind: for as to anyimperfections in her knowledge or understanding, he no more despisedher for them, than for her not being six feet high. In his opinion ofthe female sex, he exceeded the moroseness of Aristotle himself: helooked on a woman as on an animal of domestic use, of somewhat higherconsideration than a cat, since her offices were of rather moreimportance; but the difference between these two was, in hisestimation, so small, that, in his marriage contracted with MrAllworthy's lands and tenements, it would have been pretty equal whichof them he had taken into the bargain. And yet so tender was hispride, that it felt the contempt which his wife now began to expresstowards him; and this, added to the surfeit he had before taken of herlove, created in him a degree of disgust and abhorrence, perhapshardly to be exceeded.

  One situation only of the married state is excluded from pleasure: andthat is, a state of indifference: but as many of my readers, I hope,know what an exquisite delight there is in conveying pleasure to abeloved object, so some few, I am afraid, may have experienced thesatisfaction of tormenting one we hate. It is, I apprehend, to come atthis latter pleasure, that we see both sexes often give up that easein marriage which they might otherwise possess, though their mate wasnever so disagreeable to them. Hence the wife often puts on fits oflove and jealousy, nay, even denies herself any pleasure, to disturband prevent those of her husband; and he again, in return, putsfrequent restraints on himself, and stays at home in company which hedislikes, in order to confine his wife to what she equally detests.Hence, too, must flow those tears which a widow sometimes soplentifully sheds over the ashes of a husband with whom she led a lifeof constant disquiet and turbulency, and whom now she can never hopeto torment any more.

  But if ever any couple enjoyed this pleasure, it was at presentexperienced by the captain and his lady. It was always a sufficientreason to either of them to be obstinate in any opinion, that theother had previously asserted the contrary. If the one proposed anyamusement, the other constantly objected to it: they never loved orhated, commended or abused, the same person. And for this reason, asthe captain looked with an evil eye on the little foundling, his wifebegan now to caress it almost equally with her own child.

  The reader will be apt to conceive, that this behaviour between thehusband and wife did not greatly contribute to Mr Allworthy's repose,as it tended so little to that serene happiness which he had designedfor all three from this alliance; but the truth is, though he might bea little disappointed in his sanguine expectations, yet he was farfrom being acquainted with the whole matter; for, as the captain was,from certain obvious reasons, much on his guard before him, the ladywas obliged, for fear of her brother's displeasure, to pursue the sameconduct. In fact, it is possible for a third person to be veryintimate, nay even to live long in the same house, with a marriedcouple, who have any tolerable discretion, and not even guess at thesour sentiments which they bear to each other: for though the wholeday may be sometimes too short for hatred, as well as for love; yetthe many hours which they naturally spend together, apart from allobservers, furnish people of tolerable moderation with such ampleopportunity for the enjoyment of either passion, that, if they love,they can support being a few hours in company without toying, or ifthey hate, without spitting in each other's faces.

  It is possible, however, that Mr Allworthy saw enough to render him alittle uneasy; for we are not always to conclude, that a wise man isnot hurt, because he doth not cry out and lament himself, like thoseof a childish or effeminate temper. But indeed it is possible he mightsee some faults in the captain without any uneasiness at all; for menof true wisdom and goodness are contented to take persons and thingsas they are, without complaining of their imperfections, or attemptingto amend them. They can see a fault in a friend, a relation, or anacquaintance, without ever mentioning it to the parties themselves, orto any others; and this often without lessening their affection.Indeed, unless great discernment be tempered with this overlookingdisposition, we ought never to contract friendship but with a degreeof folly which we can deceive; for I hope my friends will pardon mewhen I declare, I know none of them without a fault; and I should besorry if I could imagine I had any friend who could not see mine.Forgiveness of this kind we give and demand in turn. It is an exerciseof friendship, and perhaps none of the least pleasant. And thisforgiveness we must bestow, without desire of amendment. There is,perhaps, no surer mark of folly, than an attempt to correct thenatural infirmities of those we love. The finest composition of humannature, as well as the finest china, may have a flaw in it; and this,I am afraid, in either case, is equally incurable; though,nevertheless, the pattern may remain of the highest value.

  Upon the whole, then, Mr Allworthy certainly saw some imperfections inthe captain; but as this was a very artful man, and eternally upon hisguard before him, these appeared to him no more than blemishes in agood character, which his goodness made him overlook, and his wisdo
mprevented him from discovering to the captain himself. Very differentwould have been his sentiments had he discovered the whole; whichperhaps would in time have been the case, had the husband and wifelong continued this kind of behaviour to each other; but this kindFortune took effectual means to prevent, by forcing the captain to dothat which rendered him again dear to his wife, and restored all hertenderness and affection towards him.