History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter vi.

  Containing a better reason still for the before-mentioned opinions.

  It is to be known then, that those two learned personages, who havelately made a considerable figure on the theatre of this history, had,from their first arrival at Mr Allworthy's house, taken so great anaffection, the one to his virtue, the other to his religion, that theyhad meditated the closest alliance with him.

  For this purpose they had cast their eyes on that fair widow, whom,though we have not for some time made any mention of her, the reader,we trust, hath not forgot. Mrs Blifil was indeed the object to whichthey both aspired.

  It may seem remarkable, that, of four persons whom we havecommemorated at Mr Allworthy's house, three of them should fix theirinclinations on a lady who was never greatly celebrated for herbeauty, and who was, moreover, now a little descended into the vale ofyears; but in reality bosom friends, and intimate acquaintance, have akind of natural propensity to particular females at the house of afriend--viz., to his grandmother, mother, sister, daughter, aunt,niece, or cousin, when they are rich; and to his wife, sister,daughter, niece, cousin, mistress, or servant-maid, if they should behandsome.

  We would not, however, have our reader imagine, that persons of suchcharacters as were supported by Thwackum and Square, would undertake amatter of this kind, which hath been a little censured by some rigidmoralists, before they had thoroughly examined it, and consideredwhether it was (as Shakespear phrases it) "Stuff o' th' conscience,"or no. Thwackum was encouraged to the undertaking by reflecting thatto covet your neighbour's sister is nowhere forbidden: and he knew itwas a rule in the construction of all laws, that "_Expressum facitcessare tacitum._" The sense of which is, "When a lawgiver sets downplainly his whole meaning, we are prevented from making him mean whatwe please ourselves." As some instances of women, therefore, arementioned in the divine law, which forbids us to covet our neighbour'sgoods, and that of a sister omitted, he concluded it to be lawful. Andas to Square, who was in his person what is called a jolly fellow, ora widow's man, he easily reconciled his choice to the eternal fitnessof things.

  Now, as both of these gentlemen were industrious in taking everyopportunity of recommending themselves to the widow, they apprehendedone certain method was, by giving her son the constant preference tothe other lad; and as they conceived the kindness and affection whichMr Allworthy showed the latter, must be highly disagreeable to her,they doubted not but the laying hold on all occasions to degrade andvilify him, would be highly pleasing to her; who, as she hated theboy, must love all those who did him any hurt. In this Thwackum hadthe advantage; for while Square could only scarify the poor lad'sreputation, he could flea his skin; and, indeed, he considered everylash he gave him as a compliment paid to his mistress; so that hecould, with the utmost propriety, repeat this old flogging line,_"Castigo te non quod odio habeam, sed quod_ AMEM. I chastise thee notout of hatred, but out of love." And this, indeed, he often had in hismouth, or rather, according to the old phrase, never more properlyapplied, at his fingers' ends.

  For this reason, principally, the two gentlemen concurred, as we haveseen above, in their opinion concerning the two lads; this being,indeed, almost the only instance of their concurring on any point;for, beside the difference of their principles, they had both long agostrongly suspected each other's design, and hated one another with nolittle degree of inveteracy.

  This mutual animosity was a good deal increased by their alternatesuccesses; for Mrs Blifil knew what they would be at long before theyimagined it; or, indeed, intended she should: for they proceeded withgreat caution, lest she should be offended, and acquaint Mr Allworthy.But they had no reason for any such fear; she was well enough pleasedwith a passion, of which she intended none should have any fruits butherself. And the only fruits she designed for herself were, flatteryand courtship; for which purpose she soothed them by turns, and a longtime equally. She was, indeed, rather inclined to favour the parson'sprinciples; but Square's person was more agreeable to her eye, for hewas a comely man; whereas the pedagogue did in countenance very nearlyresemble that gentleman, who, in the Harlot's Progress, is seencorrecting the ladies in Bridewell.

  Whether Mrs Blifil had been surfeited with the sweets of marriage, ordisgusted by its bitters, or from what other cause it proceeded, Iwill not determine; but she could never be brought to listen to anysecond proposals. However, she at last conversed with Square with sucha degree of intimacy that malicious tongues began to whisper things ofher, to which, as well for the sake of the lady, as that they werehighly disagreeable to the rule of right and the fitness of things, wewill give no credit, and therefore shall not blot our paper with them.The pedagogue, 'tis certain, whipped on, without getting a step nearerto his journey's end.

  Indeed he had committed a great error, and that Square discovered muchsooner than himself. Mrs Blifil (as, perhaps, the reader may haveformerly guessed) was not over and above pleased with the behaviour ofher husband; nay, to be honest, she absolutely hated him, till hisdeath at last a little reconciled him to her affections. It will notbe therefore greatly wondered at, if she had not the most violentregard to the offspring she had by him. And, in fact, she had solittle of this regard, that in his infancy she seldom saw her son, ortook any notice of him; and hence she acquiesced, after a littlereluctance, in all the favours which Mr Allworthy showered on thefoundling; whom the good man called his own boy, and in all things puton an entire equality with Master Blifil. This acquiescence in MrsBlifil was considered by the neighbours, and by the family, as a markof her condescension to her brother's humour, and she was imagined byall others, as well as Thwackum and Square, to hate the foundling inher heart; nay, the more civility she showed him, the more theyconceived she detested him, and the surer schemes she was laying forhis ruin: for as they thought it her interest to hate him, it was verydifficult for her to persuade them she did not.

  Thwackum was the more confirmed in his opinion, as she had more thanonce slily caused him to whip Tom Jones, when Mr Allworthy, who was anenemy to this exercise, was abroad; whereas she had never given anysuch orders concerning young Blifil. And this had likewise imposedupon Square. In reality, though she certainly hated her own son--ofwhich, however monstrous it appears, I am assured she is not asingular instance--she appeared, notwithstanding all her outwardcompliance, to be in her heart sufficiently displeased with all thefavour shown by Mr Allworthy to the foundling. She frequentlycomplained of this behind her brother's back, and very sharplycensured him for it, both to Thwackum and Square; nay, she would throwit in the teeth of Allworthy himself, when a little quarrel, or miff,as it is vulgarly called, arose between them.

  However, when Tom grew up, and gave tokens of that gallantry of temperwhich greatly recommends men to women, this disinclination which shehad discovered to him when a child, by degrees abated, and at last sheso evidently demonstrated her affection to him to be much strongerthan what she bore her own son, that it was impossible to mistake herany longer. She was so desirous of often seeing him, and discoveredsuch satisfaction and delight in his company, that before he waseighteen years old he was become a rival to both Square and Thwackum;and what is worse, the whole country began to talk as loudly of herinclination to Tom, as they had before done of that which she hadshown to Square: on which account the philosopher conceived the mostimplacable hatred for our poor heroe.