History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter i.

  Containing five pages of paper.

  As truth distinguishes our writings from those idle romances which arefilled with monsters, the productions, not of nature, but ofdistempered brains; and which have been therefore recommended by aneminent critic to the sole use of the pastry-cook; so, on the otherhand, we would avoid any resemblance to that kind of history which acelebrated poet seems to think is no less calculated for the emolumentof the brewer, as the reading it should be always attended with atankard of good ale--

  While--history with her comrade ale, Soothes the sad series of her serious tale

  For as this is the liquor of modern historians, nay, perhaps theirmuse, if we may believe the opinion of Butler, who attributesinspiration to ale, it ought likewise to be the potation of theirreaders, since every book ought to be read with the same spirit and inthe same manner as it is writ. Thus the famous author of Hurlothrumbotold a learned bishop, that the reason his lordship could not tastethe excellence of his piece was, that he did not read it with a fiddlein his hand; which instrument he himself had always had in his own,when he composed it.

  That our work, therefore, might be in no danger of being likened tothe labours of these historians, we have taken every occasion ofinterspersing through the whole sundry similes, descriptions, andother kind of poetical embellishments. These are, indeed, designed tosupply the place of the said ale, and to refresh the mind, wheneverthose slumbers, which in a long work are apt to invade the reader aswell as the writer, shall begin to creep upon him. Withoutinterruptions of this kind, the best narrative of plain matter of factmust overpower every reader; for nothing but the ever lastingwatchfulness, which Homer has ascribed only to Jove himself, can beproof against a newspaper of many volumes.

  We shall leave to the reader to determine with what judgment we havechosen the several occasions for inserting those ornamental parts ofour work. Surely it will be allowed that none could be more properthan the present, where we are about to introduce a considerablecharacter on the scene; no less, indeed, than the heroine of thisheroic, historical, prosaic poem. Here, therefore, we have thoughtproper to prepare the mind of the reader for her reception, by fillingit with every pleasing image which we can draw from the face ofnature. And for this method we plead many precedents. First, this isan art well known to, and much practised by, our tragick poets, whoseldom fail to prepare their audience for the reception of theirprincipal characters.

  Thus the heroe is always introduced with a flourish of drums andtrumpets, in order to rouse a martial spirit in the audience, and toaccommodate their ears to bombast and fustian, which Mr Locke's blindman would not have grossly erred in likening to the sound of atrumpet. Again, when lovers are coming forth, soft music oftenconducts them on the stage, either to soothe the audience with thesoftness of the tender passion, or to lull and prepare them for thatgentle slumber in which they will most probably be composed by theensuing scene.

  And not only the poets, but the masters of these poets, the managersof playhouses, seem to be in this secret; for, besides the aforesaidkettle-drums, &c., which denote the heroe's approach, he is generallyushered on the stage by a large troop of half a dozen scene-shifters;and how necessary these are imagined to his appearance, may beconcluded from the following theatrical story:--

  King Pyrrhus was at dinner at an ale-house bordering on the theatre,when he was summoned to go on the stage. The heroe, being unwilling toquit his shoulder of mutton, and as unwilling to draw on himself theindignation of Mr Wilks (his brother-manager) for making the audiencewait, had bribed these his harbingers to be out of the way. While MrWilks, therefore, was thundering out, "Where are the carpenters towalk on before King Pyrrhus?" that monarch very quietly eat hismutton, and the audience, however impatient, were obliged to entertainthemselves with music in his absence.

  To be plain, I much question whether the politician, who hathgenerally a good nose, hath not scented out somewhat of the utility ofthis practice. I am convinced that awful magistrate my lord-mayorcontracts a good deal of that reverence which attends him through theyear, by the several pageants which precede his pomp. Nay, I mustconfess, that even I myself, who am not remarkably liable to becaptivated with show, have yielded not a little to the impressions ofmuch preceding state. When I have seen a man strutting in aprocession, after others whose business was only to walk before him, Ihave conceived a higher notion of his dignity than I have felt onseeing him in a common situation. But there is one instance, whichcomes exactly up to my purpose. This is the custom of sending on abasket-woman, who is to precede the pomp at a coronation, and to strewthe stage with flowers, before the great personages begin theirprocession. The antients would certainly have invoked the goddessFlora for this purpose, and it would have been no difficulty for theirpriests, or politicians to have persuaded the people of the realpresence of the deity, though a plain mortal had personated her andperformed her office. But we have no such design of imposing on ourreader; and therefore those who object to the heathen theology, may,if they please, change our goddess into the above-mentionedbasket-woman. Our intention, in short, is to introduce our heroinewith the utmost solemnity in our power, with an elevation of stile,and all other circumstances proper to raise the veneration of ourreader.--Indeed we would, for certain causes, advise those of our malereaders who have any hearts, to read no farther, were we not wellassured, that how amiable soever the picture of our heroine willappear, as it is really a copy from nature, many of our faircountrywomen will be found worthy to satisfy any passion, and toanswer any idea of female perfection which our pencil will be able toraise.

  And now, without any further preface, we proceed to our next chapter.