History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter iv.

  Containing such very deep and grave matters, that some readers,perhaps, may not relish it.

  Square had no sooner lighted his pipe, than, addressing himself toAllworthy, he thus began: "Sir, I cannot help congratulating you onyour nephew; who, at an age when few lads have any ideas but ofsensible objects, is arrived at a capacity of distinguishing rightfrom wrong. To confine anything, seems to me against the law ofnature, by which everything hath a right to liberty. These were hiswords; and the impression they have made on me is never to beeradicated. Can any man have a higher notion of the rule of right, andthe eternal fitness of things? I cannot help promising myself, fromsuch a dawn, that the meridian of this youth will be equal to that ofeither the elder or the younger Brutus."

  Here Thwackum hastily interrupted, and spilling some of his wine, andswallowing the rest with great eagerness, answered, "From anotherexpression he made use of, I hope he will resemble much better men.The law of nature is a jargon of words, which means nothing. I knownot of any such law, nor of any right which can be derived from it. Todo as we would be done by, is indeed a Christian motive, as the boywell expressed himself; and I am glad to find my instructions haveborne such good fruit."

  "If vanity was a thing fit," says Square, "I might indulge some on thesame occasion; for whence only he can have learnt his notions of rightor wrong, I think is pretty apparent. If there be no law of nature,there is no right nor wrong."

  "How!" says the parson, "do you then banish revelation? Am I talkingwith a deist or an atheist?"

  "Drink about," says Western. "Pox of your laws of nature! I don't knowwhat you mean, either of you, by right and wrong. To take away mygirl's bird was wrong, in my opinion; and my neighbour Allworthy maydo as he pleases; but to encourage boys in such practices, is to breedthem up to the gallows."

  Allworthy answered, "That he was sorry for what his nephew had done,but could not consent to punish him, as he acted rather from agenerous than unworthy motive." He said, "If the boy had stolen thebird, none would have been more ready to vote for a severechastisement than himself; but it was plain that was not his design:"and, indeed, it was as apparent to him, that he could have no otherview but what he had himself avowed. (For as to that malicious purposewhich Sophia suspected, it never once entered into the head of MrAllworthy.) He at length concluded with again blaming the action asinconsiderate, and which, he said, was pardonable only in a child.

  Square had delivered his opinion so openly, that if he was now silent,he must submit to have his judgment censured. He said, therefore, withsome warmth, "That Mr Allworthy had too much respect to the dirtyconsideration of property. That in passing our judgments on great andmighty actions, all private regards should be laid aside; for byadhering to those narrow rules, the younger Brutus had been condemnedof ingratitude, and the elder of parricide."

  "And if they had been hanged too for those crimes," cried Thwackum,"they would have had no more than their deserts. A couple ofheathenish villains! Heaven be praised we have no Brutuses now-a-days!I wish, Mr Square, you would desist from filling the minds of mypupils with such antichristian stuff; for the consequence must be,while they are under my care, its being well scourged out of themagain. There is your disciple Tom almost spoiled already. I overheardhim the other day disputing with Master Blifil that there was no meritin faith without works. I know that is one of your tenets, and Isuppose he had it from you."

  "Don't accuse me of spoiling him," says Square. "Who taught him tolaugh at whatever is virtuous and decent, and fit and right in thenature of things? He is your own scholar, and I disclaim him. No, no,Master Blifil is my boy. Young as he is, that lad's notions of moralrectitude I defy you ever to eradicate."

  Thwackum put on a contemptuous sneer at this, and replied, "Ay, ay, Iwill venture him with you. He is too well grounded for all yourphilosophical cant to hurt. No, no, I have taken care to instil suchprinciples into him--"

  "And I have instilled principles into him too," cries Square. "Whatbut the sublime idea of virtue could inspire a human mind with thegenerous thought of giving liberty? And I repeat to you again, if itwas a fit thing to be proud, I might claim the honour of havinginfused that idea."--

  "And if pride was not forbidden," said Thwackum, "I might boast ofhaving taught him that duty which he himself assigned as his motive."

  "So between you both," says the squire, "the young gentleman hath beentaught to rob my daughter of her bird. I find I must take care of mypartridge-mew. I shall have some virtuous religious man or other setall my partridges at liberty." Then slapping a gentleman of the law,who was present, on the back, he cried out, "What say you to this, MrCounsellor? Is not this against law?"

  The lawyer with great gravity delivered himself as follows:--

  "If the case be put of a partridge, there can be no doubt but anaction would lie; for though this be _ferae naturae_, yet beingreclaimed, property vests: but being the case of a singing bird,though reclaimed, as it is a thing of base nature, it must beconsidered as _nullius in bonis_. In this case, therefore, I conceivethe plaintiff must be non-suited; and I should disadvise the bringingany such action."

  "Well," says the squire, "if it be _nullus bonus_, let us drink about,and talk a little of the state of the nation, or some such discoursethat we all understand; for I am sure I don't understand a word ofthis. It may be learning and sense for aught I know: but you shallnever persuade me into it. Pox! you have neither of you mentioned aword of that poor lad who deserves to be commended: to venturebreaking his neck to oblige my girl was a generous-spirited action: Ihave learning enough to see that. D--n me, here's Tom's health! Ishall love the boy for it the longest day I have to live."

  Thus was the debate interrupted; but it would probably have been soonresumed, had not Mr Allworthy presently called for his coach, andcarried off the two combatants.

  Such was the conclusion of this adventure of the bird, and of thedialogue occasioned by it; which we could not help recounting to ourreader, though it happened some years before that stage or period oftime at which our history is now arrived.