History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter vi.

  Containing a dialogue between Sophia and Mrs Honour, which may alittle relieve those tender affections which the foregoing scene mayhave raised in the mind of a good-natured reader.

  Mrs Western having obtained that promise from her niece which we haveseen in the last chapter, withdrew; and presently after arrived MrsHonour. She was at work in a neighbouring apartment, and had beensummoned to the keyhole by some vociferation in the precedingdialogue, where she had continued during the remaining part of it. Ather entry into the room, she found Sophia standing motionless, withthe tears trickling from her eyes. Upon which she immediately ordereda proper quantity of tears into her own eyes, and then began, "OGemini, my dear lady, what is the matter?"--"Nothing," cries Sophia."Nothing! O dear Madam!" answers Honour, "you must not tell me that,when your ladyship is in this taking, and when there hath been such apreamble between your ladyship and Madam Western."--"Don't teaze me,"cries Sophia; "I tell you nothing is the matter. Good heavens! why wasI born?"--"Nay, madam," says Mrs Honour, "you shall never persuade methat your la'ship can lament yourself so for nothing. To be sure I ambut a servant; but to be sure I have been always faithful to yourla'ship, and to be sure I would serve your la'ship with my life."--"Mydear Honour," says Sophia, "'tis not in thy power to be of any serviceto me. I am irretrievably undone."--"Heaven forbid!" answered thewaiting-woman; "but if I can't be of any service to you, pray tell me,madam--it will be some comfort to me to know--pray, dear ma'am, tellme what's the matter."--"My father," cries Sophia, "is going to marryme to a man I both despise and hate."--"O dear, ma'am," answered theother, "who is this wicked man? for to be sure he is very bad, or yourla'ship would not despise him."--"His name is poison to my tongue,"replied Sophia: "thou wilt know it too soon." Indeed, to confess thetruth, she knew it already, and therefore was not very inquisitive asto that point. She then proceeded thus: "I don't pretend to give yourla'ship advice, whereof your la'ship knows much better than I canpretend to, being but a servant; but, i-fackins! no father in Englandshould marry me against my consent. And, to be sure, the 'squire is sogood, that if he did but know your la'ship despises and hates theyoung man, to be sure he would not desire you to marry him. And ifyour la'ship would but give me leave to tell my master so. To be sure,it would be more properer to come from your own mouth; but as yourla'ship doth not care to foul your tongue with his nasty name--"--"Youare mistaken, Honour," says Sophia; "my father was determined beforehe ever thought fit to mention it to me."--"More shame for him," criesHonour: "you are to go to bed to him, and not master: and thof a manmay be a very proper man, yet every woman mayn't think him handsomealike. I am sure my master would never act in this manner of his ownhead. I wish some people would trouble themselves only with whatbelongs to them; they would not, I believe, like to be served so, ifit was their own case; for though I am a maid, I can easily believe ashow all men are not equally agreeable. And what signifies your la'shiphaving so great a fortune, if you can't please yourself with the manyou think most handsomest? Well, I say nothing; but to be sure it is apity some folks had not been better born; nay, as for that matter, Ishould not mind it myself; but then there is not so much money; andwhat of that? your la'ship hath money enough for both; and where canyour la'ship bestow your fortune better? for to be sure every one mustallow that he is the most handsomest, charmingest, finest, tallest,properest man in the world."--"What do you mean by running on in thismanner to me?" cries Sophia, with a very grave countenance. "Have Iever given any encouragement for these liberties?"--"Nay, ma'am, I askpardon; I meant no harm," answered she; "but to be sure the poorgentleman hath run in my head ever since I saw him this morning. To besure, if your la'ship had but seen him just now, you must have pitiedhim. Poor gentleman! I wishes some misfortune hath not happened tohim; for he hath been walking about with his arms across, and lookingso melancholy, all this morning: I vow and protest it made me almostcry to see him."--"To see whom?" says Sophia. "Poor Mr Jones,"answered Honour. "See him! why, where did you see him?" cries Sophia."By the canal, ma'am," says Honour. "There he hath been walking allthis morning, and at last there he laid himself down: I believe helies there still. To be sure, if it had not been for my modesty, beinga maid, as I am, I should have gone and spoke to him. Do, ma'am, letme go and see, only for a fancy, whether he is there still."--"Pugh!"says Sophia. "There! no, no: what should he do there? He is gonebefore this time, to be sure. Besides, why--what--why should you go tosee? besides, I want you for something else. Go, fetch me my hat andgloves. I shall walk with my aunt in the grove before dinner." Honourdid immediately as she was bid, and Sophia put her hat on; when,looking in the glass, she fancied the ribbon with which her hat wastied did not become her, and so sent her maid back again for a ribbonof a different colour; and then giving Mrs Honour repeated charges notto leave her work on any account, as she said it was in violent haste,and must be finished that very day, she muttered something more aboutgoing to the grove, and then sallied out the contrary way, and walked,as fast as her tender trembling limbs could carry her, directlytowards the canal.

  Jones had been there as Mrs Honour had told her; he had indeed spenttwo hours there that morning in melancholy contemplation on hisSophia, and had gone out from the garden at one door the moment sheentered it at another. So that those unlucky minutes which had beenspent in changing the ribbons, had prevented the lovers from meetingat this time;--a most unfortunate accident, from which my fair readerswill not fail to draw a very wholesome lesson. And here I strictlyforbid all male critics to intermeddle with a circumstance which Ihave recounted only for the sake of the ladies, and upon which theyonly are at liberty to comment.