History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter x.

  In which Mr Western visits Mr Allworthy.

  Mr Allworthy was now retired from breakfast with his nephew, wellsatisfied with the report of the young gentleman's successful visit toSophia (for he greatly desired the match, more on account of the younglady's character than of her riches), when Mr Western broke abruptlyin upon them, and without any ceremony began as follows:--

  "There, you have done a fine piece of work truly! You have brought upyour bastard to a fine purpose; not that I believe you have had anyhand in it neither, that is, as a man may say, designedly: but thereis a fine kettle-of-fish made on't up at our house." "What can be thematter, Mr Western?" said Allworthy. "O, matter enow of allconscience: my daughter hath fallen in love with your bastard, that'sall; but I won't ge her a hapeny, not the twentieth part of a brassvarden. I always thought what would come o' breeding up a bastard likea gentleman, and letting un come about to vok's houses. It's well vorun I could not get at un: I'd a lick'd un; I'd a spoil'd hiscaterwauling; I'd a taught the son of a whore to meddle with meat forhis master. He shan't ever have a morsel of meat of mine, or a vardento buy it: if she will ha un, one smock shall be her portion. I'dsooner ge my esteate to the zinking fund, that it may be sent toHanover to corrupt our nation with." "I am heartily sorry," criesAllworthy. "Pox o' your sorrow," says Western; "it will do meabundance of good when I have lost my only child, my poor Sophy, thatwas the joy of my heart, and all the hope and comfort of my age; but Iam resolved I will turn her out o' doors; she shall beg, and starve,and rot in the streets. Not one hapeny, not a hapeny shall she everhae o' mine. The son of a bitch was always good at finding a haresitting, an be rotted to'n: I little thought what puss he was lookingafter; but it shall be the worst he ever vound in his life. She shallbe no better than carrion: the skin o'er is all he shall ha, and zuyou may tell un." "I am in amazement," cries Allworthy, "at what youtell me, after what passed between my nephew and the young lady nolonger ago than yesterday." "Yes, sir," answered Western, "it wasafter what passed between your nephew and she that the whole mattercame out. Mr Blifil there was no sooner gone than the son of a whorecame lurching about the house. Little did I think when I used to lovehim for a sportsman that he was all the while a poaching after mydaughter." "Why truly," says Allworthy, "I could wish you had notgiven him so many opportunities with her; and you will do me thejustice to acknowledge that I have always been averse to his stayingso much at your house, though I own I had no suspicion of this kind.""Why, zounds," cries Western, "who could have thought it? What thedevil had she to do wi'n? He did not come there a courting to her; hecame there a hunting with me." "But was it possible," says Allworthy,"that you should never discern any symptoms of love between them, whenyou have seen them so often together?" "Never in my life, as I hope tobe saved," cries Western: "I never so much as zeed him kiss her in allmy life; and so far from courting her, he used rather to be moresilent when she was in company than at any other time; and as for thegirl, she was always less civil to'n than to any young man that cameto the house. As to that matter, I am not more easy to be deceivedthan another; I would not have you think I am, neighbour." Allworthycould scarce refrain laughter at this; but he resolved to do aviolence to himself; for he perfectly well knew mankind, and had toomuch good-breeding and good-nature to offend the squire in his presentcircumstances. He then asked Western what he would have him do uponthis occasion. To which the other answered, "That he would have himkeep the rascal away from his house, and that he would go and lock upthe wench; for he was resolved to make her marry Mr Blifil in spite ofher teeth." He then shook Blifil by the hand, and swore he would haveno other son-in-law. Presently after which he took his leave; sayinghis house was in such disorder that it was necessary for him to makehaste home, to take care his daughter did not give him the slip; andas for Jones, he swore if he caught him at his house, he would qualifyhim to run for the geldings' plate.

  When Allworthy and Blifil were again left together, a long silenceensued between them; all which interval the young gentleman filled upwith sighs, which proceeded partly from disappointment, but more fromhatred; for the success of Jones was much more grievous to him thanthe loss of Sophia.

  At length his uncle asked him what he was determined to do, and heanswered in the following words:--"Alas! sir, can it be a questionwhat step a lover will take, when reason and passion point differentways? I am afraid it is too certain he will, in that dilemma, alwaysfollow the latter. Reason dictates to me, to quit all thoughts of awoman who places her affections on another; my passion bids me hopeshe may in time change her inclinations in my favour. Here, however, Iconceive an objection may be raised, which, if it could not fully beanswered, would totally deter me from any further pursuit. I mean theinjustice of endeavouring to supplant another in a heart of which heseems already in possession; but the determined resolution of MrWestern shows that, in this case, I shall, by so doing, promote thehappiness of every party; not only that of the parent, who will thusbe preserved from the highest degree of misery, but of both theothers, who must be undone by this match. The lady, I am sure, will beundone in every sense; for, besides the loss of most part of her ownfortune, she will be not only married to a beggar, but the littlefortune which her father cannot withhold from her will be squanderedon that wench with whom I know he yet converses. Nay, that is atrifle; for I know him to be one of the worst men in the world; forhad my dear uncle known what I have hitherto endeavoured to conceal,he must have long since abandoned so profligate a wretch." "How!" saidAllworthy; "hath he done anything worse than I already know? Tell me,I beseech you?" "No," replied Blifil; "it is now past, and perhaps hemay have repented of it." "I command you, on your duty," saidAllworthy, "to tell me what you mean." "You know, sir," says Blifil,"I never disobeyed you; but I am sorry I mentioned it, since it maynow look like revenge, whereas, I thank Heaven, no such motive everentered my heart; and if you oblige me to discover it, I must be hispetitioner to you for your forgiveness." "I will have no conditions,"answered Allworthy; "I think I have shown tenderness enough towardshim, and more perhaps than you ought to thank me for." "More, indeed,I fear, than he deserved," cries Blifil; "for in the very day of yourutmost danger, when myself and all the family were in tears, he filledthe house with riot and debauchery. He drank, and sung, and roared;and when I gave him a gentle hint of the indecency of his actions, hefell into a violent passion, swore many oaths, called me rascal, andstruck me." "How!" cries Allworthy; "did he dare to strike you?" "I amsure," cries Blifil, "I have forgiven him that long ago. I wish Icould so easily forget his ingratitude to the best of benefactors; andyet even that I hope you will forgive him, since he must havecertainly been possessed with the devil: for that very evening, as MrThwackum and myself were taking the air in the fields, and exulting inthe good symptoms which then first began to discover themselves, weunluckily saw him engaged with a wench in a manner not fit to bementioned. Mr Thwackum, with more boldness than prudence, advanced torebuke him, when (I am sorry to say it) he fell upon the worthy man,and beat him so outrageously that I wish he may have yet recovered thebruises. Nor was I without my share of the effects of his malice,while I endeavoured to protect my tutor; but that I have longforgiven; nay, I prevailed with Mr Thwackum to forgive him too, andnot to inform you of a secret which I feared might be fatal to him.And now, sir, since I have unadvisedly dropped a hint of this matter,and your commands have obliged me to discover the whole, let meintercede with you for him." "O child!" said Allworthy, "I know notwhether I should blame or applaud your goodness, in concealing suchvillany a moment: but where is Mr Thwackum? Not that I want anyconfirmation of what you say; but I will examine all the evidence ofthis matter, to justify to the world the example I am resolved to makeof such a monster."

  Thwackum was now sent for, and presently appeared. He corroboratedevery circumstance which the other had deposed; nay, he produced therecord upon his breast, where the handwriting of Mr Jones remainedvery legible in black and blue. He concluded with declaring to MrAl
lworthy, that he should have long since informed him of this matter,had not Mr Blifil, by the most earnest interpositions, prevented him."He is," says he, "an excellent youth: though such forgiveness ofenemies is carrying the matter too far."

  In reality, Blifil had taken some pains to prevail with the parson,and to prevent the discovery at that time; for which he had manyreasons. He knew that the minds of men are apt to be softened andrelaxed from their usual severity by sickness. Besides, he imaginedthat if the story was told when the fact was so recent, and thephysician about the house, who might have unravelled the real truth,he should never be able to give it the malicious turn which heintended. Again, he resolved to hoard up this business, till theindiscretion of Jones should afford some additional complaints; for hethought the joint weight of many facts falling upon him together,would be the most likely to crush him; and he watched, therefore, somesuch opportunity as that with which fortune had now kindly presentedhim. Lastly, by prevailing with Thwackum to conceal the matter for atime, he knew he should confirm an opinion of his friendship to Jones,which he had greatly laboured to establish in Mr Allworthy.