Sex Coach

  I was halfway across the room, already thinking of enjoyable ways I could wake him up, when I realized he wasn't alone. But it wasn't a woman in bed with him. A sandy-haired man with a scar on his cheek had his arm thrown over Cade's stomach .

  I almost bolted, sickened by the thought I'd been lied to. Then I realized what was really wrong with this picture .

  The man's arm wasn't moving .

  Cade wasn't breathing .

  Seven

  I forgot about what this looked like. Forgot my questions as to why Cade was in bed with a man. Forgot about everything but the fact that the man I loved wasn't breathing .

  “Cade!”

  He didn't respond when I yelled his name .

  I ran the rest of the way, nearly falling as my feet skidded on the torn photographs. With each step, another detail of the scene imprinted in my mind, seared there in such a way that I knew I'd never forget any of them .

  Cade's skin was pale, too pale .

  The man wrapped around Cade was stretched out, like he'd lain down, but Cade wasn't laying. He was slumped like he'd been sitting and fallen over .

  There was a glass on the floor, pieces of it broken, drops of liquid splashed across the wood. The smell of alcohol was in the air .

  I reached the bed, my heart pounding. “Cade!” I said his name again before reaching out to touch him. I almost didn't want to, afraid that his skin would be cold, that I'd waited too long to look for him. No, I told myself. I couldn't lose him, not when we'd just found each other .

  I shoved the stranger's arm off of Cade, barely glancing at the other man as he rolled onto his back. I heard him exhale and then ignored him. If he was breathing, I wasn't about to pay any attention to him. I didn't know if I would've anyway. All of my attention was on Cade .

  I reached out, my hand shaking. I pressed my fingers against the side of his neck and nearly sobbed with relief when I felt his pulse. It was weak, but it was there. Then I put my hand on his chest and my heart skipped a beat. My first assumption had been correct. He wasn't breathing .

  I dug my phone out of my pocket and dialed 911, putting it on speakerphone as I leaned over Cade, trying to remember what I'd learned about CPR during my freshman year health class .

  I tilted his head back, opened his mouth and pinched his nose shut. I blew in a single breath before a woman's voice came over the air .

  “Nine one-one, do you have an emergency ?”

  “I need an ambulance.” My voice trembled. “Something happened to my boyfriend. He's not breathing .”

  “Okay, ma'am, what is your location ?”

  I rattled off the address, then leaned down to blow another breath into Cade's lungs. I could barely see through the tears burning in my eyes .

  “I've dispatched an ambulance to your location .”

  “Two,” I said, suddenly remembering the other man. “There's someone else here too .”

  “There are two people who need assistance ?”

  I gave him another breath before answering. “I got here a couple minutes ago and found my boyfriend and...a friend of his.” I wasn't about to try to figure out who this person was or why he'd had his arms around Cade. “They were both unconscious. The other guy, I don't know who he is or why he was here. He's breathing. Cade isn't .”

  “Are you doing CPR ?”

  I wanted to snap at her that I was trying to but she kept asking me stupid questions, but I focused on giving Cade air and just gave a short answer. “Yes .”

  “The paramedics are on their way, miss.” Her voice took on a soothing tone that grated on my nerves. “Everything's going to be okay .”

  The tears spilled over onto Cade's cheeks and lips as I kept breathing for him. It wasn't going to be okay, not if he didn't wake up. I didn't look at his mouth as I tasted the salt from my tears. If I looked, I might see that his lips were blue from lack of oxygen. If I saw that, I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold it together. And if I fell apart, Cade would definitely die .

  And there was no way in hell I was going to let that happen .

  I was vaguely aware that the operator was going on in the background, telling me all of the encouraging things that her job told her she was supposed to say, but I wasn't listening to her. There were only two sounds I wanted to hear right now. Ambulance sirens and, more than that, Cade taking a breath .

  “Please, baby,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his as I spoke. “Please don't leave me .”

  I gave him another breath and then took a shuddering breath of my own. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold it together. Then, in the distance, I heard the wail of sirens. They were coming. I just needed to hold on .

  “I love you,” I said before covering his mouth again .

  I had to keep going. I couldn't even bear to think about what would happen if I stopped. I'd been living my life in the dark before I'd met Cade, barely knowing myself, not knowing everything the world could offer me. I wasn't going back to that. I couldn't go back to that. I wouldn't .

  “Damn you, Cade.” I hit his chest with my fist. “Don't do this to me !”

  He gasped and I gave a little cry .

  “Cade?” I shook his shoulders harder than I probably needed to, but he took a shuddering breath, then another. I almost cried with relief, but then I heard footsteps behind me .

  I spun around, spreading my arms out as I took a defensive stance in front of Cade. It took my brain a moment to process what I was seeing, and then I moved out of the way to let the paramedics through. I stumbled, then put my hand down. I felt a sharp pain in my palm, but I didn't acknowledge it. Cade was my only concern .

  “Do you know what happened?” The male paramedic asked .

  I shook my head as I straightened. “I came in and saw them like this.” I gestured towards the stranger. “I don't know who he is or why he's here .”

  The female paramedic leaned over the stranger. “His pulse is weak .”

  “Him too,” the man said. He glanced at me. “You know this one ?”

  I nodded, fighting back tears again. “He's my boyfriend.” My hip bumped against the bedside table and I realized my phone was still on. I reached down and hung up, then slid my phone into my pocket .

  “Does he do any drugs?” he asked. “Be honest .”

  “No,” I said firmly. Glass crunched under my feet and I remembered the liquid I'd seen on the floor. “He might've had a drink .”

  “Does he have any allergies ?”

  “I don't know.” I pressed my hands against my chest. “Please, don't let him die.” I whispered the plea over and over as the paramedics worked .

  As they moved Cade onto a gurney, the first paramedic who'd come in looked over at me. “You said you did CPR ?”

  I nodded .

  “If he lives, it'll be because of you .”

  I barely heard the praise. All I heard was the “if.” My heart clenched. No, please, no. Not “if .”

  “Come on,” the paramedic called as they started to take Cade down the stairs. “You can ride with us.” His eyes flicked down to my hand. “And you're going to need to get that looked at .”

  I looked down, puzzled. Blood was dripping from my hand. When had that happened? I raised my hand and wrapped the bottom of my shirt around the wound. It'd do until I knew Cade was okay .

  I climbed into the ambulance, taking the seat that the paramedics offered. I started to reach for Cade's hand, then hesitated, unsure if I should touch him. He'd always looked so strong and invincible. Now, with oxygen being given to him through a portable tank and mask, his skin pale and gray, he looked so weak. Almost frail .

  “It's okay,” the paramedic said. “You can hold his hand.” He reached for my cut on. “Gives me a chance to take a look at this .”

  “I'm okay,” I said absently as I took Cade's hand with my good one. I hissed as the paramedic started looking at the cut .

  “You're lucky is what you are,” he said. “It's deep, but I think you'
ll be good with just a bandage. Unless you want stitches .”

  “Bandage is fine,” I said. Especially if it meant I could stay with Cade. I hardly felt the paramedic doing his work or heard the sirens as the ambulance raced through the streets. When he said I was done, I put both hands around Cade's. “Come back to me,” I said softly .

  The ride to the hospital and the rush that followed became like a dream. The doctors pulled me away from him and led me to seats to wait. Time lost all meaning as I waited. Nurses and doctors walked past, ignoring me as much as I did them. The only one I wanted to listen to was the one who'd tell me that Cade would be okay .

  It was late evening, however, before that one came out .

  “Are you here with Cade Shepard?” An older man walked towards me .

  I nodded and stood, adrenaline flooding through me. “Is he okay ?”

  The doctor nodded and the relief that washed over me nearly made my legs buckle .

  “He's resting now,” the doctor said. “You can sit with him .”

  “Thank you,” I said. I followed as the doctor led me back through the doors. “What happened ?”

  The doctor gave me a sideways glance. “Are you family ?”

  “Yes,” I said without hesitation. And as far as Cade was concerned, that was true. He didn't have anyone else .

  Something about the way I answered must've convinced the doctor not to inquire any further. “There was a high quantity of narcotics in his system .”

  “What?”

  “Along with some alcohol. Not a lot, but still a dangerous combination.” He opened a door and motioned for me to enter. “And,” he hesitated, then continued, “the other young man had the same in his system .”

  “You think they were partying,” I said with a scowl .

  “It's not my place to say,” he said. “But you should know that the police will probably want to investigate .”

  “That's good,” I said. “Because there's no way Cade did this to himself.” I walked towards the bed, my eyes fixed on Cade's pale face. “When will he wake up ?”

  “I don't know,” the doctor said. “But I'll let the nurses know that you can stay here as long as you want .”

  “Thank you,” I said. I glanced up at him, curious. “Why ?”

  He gave me a partial smile. “Because I saw you sitting out there, waiting for him, and I think he needs you to be here when he wakes up .”

  I thanked him and turned my attention back to Cade. When I heard the door close, I put my head down, resting my forehead on the edge of his bed and finally let myself go. The tears poured out of me and my shoulders shook. This wasn't some delicate, romantic crying. This was full-on ugly crying and I didn't care. I'd almost lost him. Someone had tried to take Cade from me and if that had happened, I wasn't sure what I would've done. I'd known I loved him and I'd know how scared I'd been of him walking out of my life, but the idea of him being gone completely was almost more than I could bear .

  I cried until I'd released everything and was left with that empty feeling that came only after something intensely emotional had passed. I pressed my lips against the back of his hand. “I'm here, my Cade. I'll be here when you wake up.” My fingers tightened. “Just wake up, baby. Please .”

  Eight

  T here was a crick in my neck. The first thought I had as I started to climb my way towards wakefulness didn't make any sense. Why did my neck hurt? Then I realized I was slumped over. My back bent and my head down, like I'd fallen asleep sitting up. Why would I have done that ?

  Even as I thought the question, everything came back in one excruciating rush. Cade telling me he loved me. Waking up with a note saying he'd be back. The hours of worrying. Arriving at the loft. Seeing the torn pictures. Then Cade on the bed with a man next to him. Realizing Cade wasn't breathing. Performing CPR. The ride to the hospital .

  I was in the hospital, sitting next to a bed. I must've fallen asleep at some point while I'd been waiting for Cade to wake up .

  Then I felt fingers tighten around mine and my heart stuttered. Cade .

  I opened my eyes and looked up to find a pair of dark gray ones staring at me. Relief rushed through me so sharply that tears formed in my eyes. I grasped his hand tightly .

  “Hey there, Sleeping Beauty.” His voice was weak, but it was there and that's what was important .

  I threw myself at him, heedless of the wires and tubes connecting him to monitors and bags of whatever. I didn't care about any of that. I just had to have my arms around him, feeling him breathing, his heart beating. I pressed my face against his chest .

  “I'm okay,” he whispered as he stroked my hair .

  I didn't cry. Not really. A couple tears escaped, but that was all. I'd spent everything last night. Now, I was just exhausted. The little sleep I'd gotten was only enough to keep me from passing out, and this weariness wasn't just physical. Between everything that had happened the night before and then today, my emotions had taken me on a roller coaster ride like nothing I'd ever experienced before .

  “Don't ever scare me like that again.” My voice was muffled against his chest .

  “I won't,” Cade said. “Believe me .”

  I let myself relax against him for a few more minutes, not wanting to break the silence with the questions I was trying to avoid. No need to create more drama. We'd had enough to last quite a while. I just wanted to listen to the steady beating of his heart, echoed by the beeping from the monitor. I couldn't even find the sound annoying. Not when it was reassuring me that he was okay .

  “There are some things I need to tell you,” he said softly .

  I sighed. Apparently my questions were going to be answered whether I wanted them to be or not. I could only hope that I could survive what he told me. I sat up and then back in my chair. Until I knew how this was going to go, I didn't trust myself to be touching him .

  “But first I need to know what happened. How I got here .”

  “Didn't the doctors tell you?” I asked .

  He shook his head. “I haven't seen any. I woke up about ten minutes before you did .”

  “And you didn't call anyone in here ?”

  “I didn't want to wake you .”

  I managed a weak smile that I knew didn't reach my eyes. I gave him the short version of what had happened, starting with me being worried when he didn't answer my calls. My voice hitched when I got to the part where I'd realized he wasn't breathing, and he reached for my hand. I let him take it, needing the comfort more than I needed the distance .

  “I'm so sorry, Aubree.” He pressed his lips against the back of my hand .

  “What happened, Cade?” I couldn't stop myself from asking the question. “Who was...” My voice trailed off .

  “The man you found with me is named Samuel Lehane. Sammy .”

  The familiarity in the way Cade said the name made my stomach turn to ice. I forced myself to keep my hand in his. I'd trusted him this far. I would hear him out before I acted .

  “I told you before about how a woman I'd worked for propositioned me and that was how I got started as an escort,” he said .

  I nodded. I remembered. A flare of anger went through me at the thought of the people who had taken advantage of a hurting young man .

  “That was true...to an extent.” His fingers tightened around mine. “There was a time between me running away and ending up in that woman's bed .”

  I could see the struggle on his face. He didn't want to share this, and it wasn't because he wanted to hide things from me. He was in pain. “It's okay,” I said. “You don't have to tell me .”

  “Yes,” he countered. “I do. You deserve to know .”

  Maybe that was true, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know .

  “I was on the streets for weeks after I ran, trying to find ways to eat, to survive, and I was losing. And then I met Sammy. He was the first friend I had. When he realized that I was working odd jobs for barely enough money to keep me alive, he told me I sho
uld do what he did. Turn tricks. I kept telling him no, but he persisted and, finally, when I was hungry enough, I agreed .”

  His fingers twitched and suddenly, I was holding his hand and not the other way around .

  “He took me to meet his pimp who told me I was perfect, that I'd been made to fuck .”

  My lips flattened into a thin line but I didn't speak. I knew how hard it was to re-start a painful story once stopped. I wasn't going to interrupt .

  “He told me that he had the perfect client for me to start with and gave me an address. That simple. All I had to do, he said, was do what I was told and I'd get sixty bucks and get to keep half .”

  Thirty dollars. I really didn't want to know what he'd had to do for that money .

  “When I got to the address, it was a warehouse and the client was a man .”

  My eyes widened .

  “I tried to leave, told him I wasn't gay, but he grabbed me. Hit me.” Cade's hands were cold. “I'd barely eaten for weeks. I wasn't strong enough to fight back .”

  I felt like I was going to be sick. I didn't want to hear what happened next, but if he could tell it, the least I could do was listen .

  “He tied me up, took my clothes.” Cade's voice was flat, emotionless, but his eyes told a different story. “He touched me, told me how I was only good for one thing, told me what he was going to do to me. I knew he was going to rape me and leave me for others to do the same. And I hoped that in the end, I would die .”

  Oh, my Cade. I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from saying it out loud .

  “Before he could...” He paused, and then continued. “Sammy showed up. He hit the guy with a brick. Killed him .”

  The man I'd found with Cade had saved his life. I didn't understand .

  “I went to the hospital. The man went to the morgue and Sammy went to jail. I tried telling the cops what had happened, but all they could see were two hooking street kids who'd killed a respected schoolteacher. Sammy pled out on a self defense charge and got out last week. He showed up at the loft after you left the other night...” His voice trailed off and I knew he was remembering the fight .