The Amazing Adventure
***
Deep inside the bowels of the ship, the intrepid crew headed down metallic darkened corridor after dark metallic corridor. Their path lit by the flames that covered the Motorbike Magnus rode.
“I don’t like the feel of this, something isn’t right.” Ginge whispered, her words echoing down the corridor. They reached the end of a corridor with closed doors on each wall and one directly in front of them. With a swoosh the door on their left opened, leading towards another metallic corridor.
“This must be a trap.” Alex said, Magnus revved the motorbike in agreement.
“Undoubtedly, but I don’t think we have a choice but to follow wherever they are leading us.” Grigor held his flaming broadsword up at the ready and proceeded into the next corridor. This continued for some time, they would reach a dead end, then some unseen hand would guide them further into the giant spaceship.
Eventually they began to fell a tingle of electricity in the air, as if a great power lay near them.
“The Dragon Heart,” Napalm whispered.
“Wait, didn’t you guys keep this at your headquarters for years?” Chainsaw-Boy asked, “surely there’s not much difference here now but you all seem quite awed.”
“Its power was never unlocked, you need to be pretty much pure evil to unlock it,” Grigor explained. He put a hand and held it against the wall to their right, “it’s the other side of this wall, get ready.” A little way ahead of them a door on the right hand side of the corridor opened. They could feel the power wash over them as it flowed out from the open door and down the corridor where they’d come from.
They battled through and filed into the large room, it was a large circular room, with windows across the back wall that showed space, and the debris left by Lazarus b10. In the centre of the room was the Dragon Heart, the great red stone pulsed brilliantly, protected by a guard rail. Volkang stood with his hand on the gemstone, stroking it gently.
It’s a beauty, isn’t it? The words emanated from the hole where his mouth would be. All of the power held here, all of the possibilities.
“Your path of destruction ends here. We’re taking back the Dragon Heart Volkang!” Grigor shouted, broadsword raised.
Oh, I don’t think so, son. A look of horror spread over Grigor’s visible features.
“Noooo” he cried out. At that moment, Volkang held his free hand up to face his palm at the crowd and whispered.
Alakazam, wham bam, thank you mam. Indy grabbed Magnus and threw him off the motorcycle, taking his place as the fire grew to protect its rider from a huge red wave of power that flew from Volkang’s open palm. Chainsaw-Boy’s golden star flashed brightly and protected him as well, while Grigor was surrounded by the cool blue of the Barbarian Spirit.
As soon as it had appeared, the red wave disappeared, leaving only Magnus, Chainsaw-Boy, Volkang, Indy and Harvey left in the room. For a second Volkang thought he saw a rainbow shimmer just in front of Harvey, but it must’ve been a trick of his eyes. Ignoring it, he turned to Indy. Well done Indy, you have served us well, you will be rewarded greatly. Turning to Grigor he looked his son in the eyes Grigor, your friends are dead, the battle is lost, join me and we can form a father son partnership unlike the universe has ever known!
“I get the feeling I’m not even going to need to watch the Star Wars films once this is over.” Chainsaw-Boy said to himself.
“No! Never!” Grigor shouted running at him, swinging his sword aggressively. “Chainsaw-Boy, get Indy!”
As quick as a lightning, Volkang and Grigor’s swords flashed steel on steel. Meanwhile Indy had picked up a chainsaw from somewhere, and sparks were flying from the intense chainsaw on chainsaw action.
The two pairs wheeled around the room, sparks scattering all over the floor around one pair, while licks of lightning spluttered from the encounters of the other pair. Stood in the middle was Harvey, uncertain of how he was alive or what he could do to help, all he could was to look on hopelessly.
While Chainsaw-Boy had two chainsaws to Indy’s one, he was also a lot more unwieldy, he swung at Indy, only to have him move away at the last second. They lumbered around the room while Grigor and Volkang danced a more graceful sword fight.
Eventually, Indy got chainsaw-Boy pinned with his back to the guard rail, his chainsaw bearing down against Chainsaw-boy’s crossed saws. It was only now that Chainsaw-Boy noticed that the Dragon Heart was suspended high above a chasm that went into the heart of the ship. He also realised that he was no match for Indy’s experience. He called over to Grigor.
“Uhh.. Grigor! You save the universe! You hear me!” Grigor turned, just in time to see Chainsaw-boy slip an arm free and cut through the guard rail holding both of them up. Chainsaw-Boy fell backwards, while a shocked and off-balance Indy fell after him. In less than a second they were both gone. Before Grigor could even call out Volkang was upon him once more, clashing sword against sword. Grigor parried on the left, blocked on the right then swung an almighty blow from over his shoulder that was deflected. After a few minutes they both stopped to breathe heavily, staring each other down.
“You can’t be my father!” Grigor said breathily, “I mean, you barely have a human form.”
I totally am your father.
“Are not!”
Am too.
“It makes no sense!”
I was once a famous barbarian prince, the most powerful of all barbarians, and then, in stereotypical fashion, I fell from grace and became evil. But when I was still human, I loved your mother, the last piece of my heart died with her.
“Hold up, you’re a thousand years old!” Grigor exclaimed angrily.
Did I mention I was also a time-travelling Barbarian Prince? Yeah it gets kind of complicated at this point, just believe when I say that it’s all due to Schrodinger’s law. Volkang replied, regaining his composure. But if you won’t join us I’ll be forced to kill you! Let’s fight!
Grigor screamed his loudest battle cry and ran forward at Volkang, who was running at Grigor, whom was running at Volkang, who was also running at Grigor! Harvey stood un observed off to the side.
The pair collided in a great flash of light. When sight regained to the room, Volkang was left impaled on Grigor’s sword.
Ha, he coughed blood over Grigor, you have done well my son. I am proud. A slow clap and cackle started from a dark shadow in the edge of the room.
“Vell done Grigor.” A cloaked robotic figure stepped out from the shadows. The robotic torso whirred, supporting the horrifying human head of Space-Robo-Hitler. “You have brought ze other pieces of awesome right into mein hands!”
“Space-Robo-Hitler!” Grigor called, “I should have known you were behind this!” He ran at him, sword raised. Space-Hitler held up a hand and Grigor froze, sword still held above his head. Slowly a blue light began to stretch from his chest towards Space-Hitler’s palm.
“Yes finally, the universe is mine!” He laughed as the Spirit of the Barbarian King flowed towards him.
Suddenly, from Harvey’s perspective, the whole universe stopped, Grigor and Space-hitler were frozen in a deadly embrace. Out of nowhere a unicorn with a rainbow horn and tail strode across and stood between Harvey and the end of the universe.
The unicorn whinnied at him, and then spoke “Harvey, I’ve followed you for a while now. Fate and I have chosen you to save the Universe. Quickly take my horn, and stab Space-Hitler with it.”
Harvey walked up to the Interstellar Unicorn and broke off its horn. “Yes, that’s it, now stab him, stab him right in the chest!”
“You’re quite creepy, you know that?” Harvey spoke, holding the rainbow horn in his hand.
“I don’t get out very much. Anyway, enough chit chat, stab him!”
Harvey stood between Grigor and Space-Hitler, held the horn above his head with two hands, and plunged it down into Space-Hitler’s chest. The room burst into a technicolor rainbow as Space-Hitler exploded, and
Grigor and Harvey floated away with the Unicorn.
“You are now at a dimensional empasse! The Universe will now split into three paths” The unicorn spoke, the words echoing eerily around whatever Universe they now existed in. “Which one do you chose?”
If you decide to follow Chainsaw-Boy down the hole of doom, turn to page 209
If you decide to see what fate lies in store for Harvey turn to page 211
If you decide to find out what happens to Grigor turn to page 214
Chainsaw-Boy