So we must work hard to not be slaves. We must find a way to fight against complacency and mindless patterns. How do we do it? How does it work in movies when the good guys go up against the robots?
1.We try to destroy them.
This is not happening. Technology is moving faster than ever and the Internet is here to stay. Plus, telling someone to not look at bad pictures or comments online is like telling a kid not to eat a cookie. And I’m here to tell you that any actor who says they don’t search for their own name on occasion is a filthy liar.
2.We beat them at their own game.
This theory was the impetus for Smart Girls at the Party, a Web series and website I created along with my friends Meredith Walker and Amy Miles. We wanted to build a brand that attempted to combat the deluge of shit young people see every day online. It actually all started with the idea of one simple show. It would be a Charlie Rose–type interview show for girls that ended in a spontaneous dance party. We wanted to celebrate the curious girl, the nonfamous, the everyday warrior. At first we only knew a few things: we wanted to make content we would have watched when we were younger, and we wanted to end our episodes with a dance party. Spontaneous dance parties are important in my life. I have one in the makeup trailer almost every afternoon on Parks and Recreation. Dancing is the great equalizer. It gets people out of their heads and into their bodies. I think if you can dance and be free and not embarrassed you can rule the world. Smart Girls is growing and changing, and Meredith and I have big plans to open up camps and create more content and connect with more and more young people. Our hope is to provide something for people who can’t stand to look at another awful website highlighting some fame-obsessed garbage person.
3.We believe in people, not machines.
I will finish this book with a little story.
By the way, THANK YOU for reading Yes Please all the way to the end. I know how busy you are.
During my writing process, I struggled with my limited relationship with technology. I was forced to buy a new laptop, and I grew to love my tiny MacBook Air with my badass black cover and UCB sticker on the front. It has traveled with me for over a year and a half as I have pretended to work on this book all across America. Recently I flew to San Francisco, to shoot the finale of our sixth season of Parks and Recreation.
Life is endings and beginnings. Pema Chödrön says we are constantly being “thrown out of the nest.”
It can be hard, this life. Beautiful too. Mine is beautiful, mostly. Lucky me.
I arrived in San Francisco with that rare combination of sadness and joy. There should be a name for that feeling. Maybe it’s “intimacy.” Either way, I had a wonderful time shooting the show and the shit with a cast of people I have grown to love like family. After two days, I reached into my bag to pull out my laptop and work on a piece for the book. The laptop was nowhere to be found. My heart sank. I assumed it had been stolen. Then I had the terrible memory of putting it in a separate tray in the security line. I was tired the morning I flew to San Francisco. I fly a lot, and it can wear you down. I opted out of the X-ray machine, because I was just getting tired of being zapped with rays that nobody could tell me were safe. I mean, if my phone is trying to kill me then that crazy X-ray machine at airport security is a straight-up assassin. I asked for a pat-down. It was nice, actually. A sweet woman and I chatted as she touched me. I didn’t mind. It felt human. She told me she loved me in Baby Mama. I went on my way, but because of the small change in my routine, I had left my laptop at LAX security forty-eight hours before.
The first thing I did was cry. Because, see, I had a lot of writing on my laptop that I hadn’t truly backed up, maybe forty or fifty pages. Technology can often feel like a club that didn’t accept me, and so I punish it by ignoring it, which in turn often hurts me. Then I cried because I was tired, and worried about this book and getting it done while also being a good mom and a pleasant face on camera. Then I cried because I knew this was a first-world problem and I had no right to cry. Then I called TSA Lost and Found.
I spoke to a human. A man. He took my information. He was polite and he listened. He wasn’t a machine. He put me on hold and took a quick look. He came back and said he didn’t see anything matching that description. I started to cry again. He said, “Come on, Amy, you gotta stay positive.” I thanked him. He took my e-mail and I considered my laptop gone for good. For like the millionth time during this process, I considered e-mailing my editors and asking them if I could give the money back and not write this book. The only difference was this time I had a real reason.
A day later I received this.
To: “Poehler, Amy”
From: “Fields, Sharita”
Date: March 5, 2014 at 8:51:04 AM PST
Subject: Recovered Laptop by LAX TSA Lost and Found
Hello Mrs. Poehler,
This is to inform you that your Laptop was located by the TSA at LAX. Your TSA Tracking Item number is 14389 Report Number 192.
(TSA LAX Lost and Found only retains lost items for 30 days from the date of this email.)
1. You can stop by our office in person with your Tracking Number and photo ID. They will return your item after completing the Release Form.
2. You may have someone claim your item on your behalf. On the attached Form, please write in the upper margin: “I (your name) authorized (name of person), to pick up my (items) on my behalf.”
3. If you would like your item shipped to you, please complete the Form and write your FedEx or UPS account number on Line 11 (described on the Return Information Instructions); and TSA Tracking Number on Line 15. Please allow 5-7 business days from the receipt of the Form.
Please let me know if you have any questions.
Sharita J. Fields
TSA Lost and Found
Airport Spectrum Building
Every book needs an angel. Yes Please had Sharita Fields.
I went straight to the LAX Lost and Found and recovered my laptop. I explained to Sharita that I was writing a book and I had been sure most of it was lost. I told her I would thank her in my book and send her a copy as soon as I finished. She was polite and professional. She let me take her picture. Look at how cute she is.
She also works with Homeland Security, so you know she knows people.
The only way we will survive is by being kind. The only way we can get by in this world is through the help we receive from others. No one can do it alone, no matter how great the machines are.
YES PLEASE THANK YOU SHARITA.
Acknowledgments
First thanks go to my wonderful parents, Bill and Eileen Poehler. Thank you for contributing to Yes Please, and thank you for loving and supporting me. You always clapped for me when I roller-skated in our driveway. This book is all your fault.
Thanks to Carrie Thornton and Kate Cassaday, my badass editors. Your positive reinforcement and great ideas shaped this book. I’m sorry I constantly e-mailed you and told you I would never finish. It’s very unlike me.
Thank you to Erin Malone, Dave Becky, and Sharon Jackson for believing I could do this and also for making me do this.
Thanks to Will Arnett for our amazing boys, Archie and Abel, and for your many years of love and support.
Thank you to Michael Schur and Seth Meyers for writing stuff for me. I know how busy you both are.
Thank you to Nick Kroll, who encourages me in all the right ways.
Thanks to my first friend, my brother, Greg Poehler, and his beautiful family. Thanks to Lewis Kay, Jeff Wolman, Warren Dern, Kate Arend, Charna Halpern, Del Close, Kelly Leonard, Rashida Jones, Aubrey Plaza, Keri Downey, Amy Miles, Rachel Dratch, Louis CK, Emily Spivey, Kristin (Umile) Haggerty, Andrea (Mahoney) Thomas, Susan Hale, Alex Sidtis, Kathy Dalton, Lorne Michaels, Mike Shoemaker, Kemal Harris, Karla Welch, Chad Strahan, Robert Moulton, Kelly Campbell, Jeff Clampitt, Mary Elllen Matthews, Liezl Estipona, Anna Tendler, Kirston Mann, Tina Fey, and Lesley Arfin for the title. Special thanks to Meredith Walker,
who is always on my side and likes to remind me I am from Boston and we finish our shit.
Thanks to Dr. Jane Aronson, Wendy Bovard, Melissa Willock, and everyone at Worldwide Orphans.
Thanks to Mercy Caballero, Dawa Chodon, and Jackie Johnson for taking such good care of my children.
Thanks to Anastasia Somoza, Spike Jones, Marianne Leone, and Chris Cooper for letting me tell our story.
Thanks to the writers, cast, and crew of Parks and Recreation. Especially Morgan Sackett.
Thank you to the UCB theater community, and Ian Roberts, Matt Walsh, and Matt Besser. Special thanks to Besser, who sent me old flyers and remembered everything.
Finally, thank you, Dolly Parton. Just because.
About the Author
AMY POEHLER is a writer, actress, producer, and director. She lives in New York City and Los Angeles with her two boys. She hopes this book will get her invited onto her hero Judge Judy’s yacht, Triumphant Lady.
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Credits
Cover design by Mary Schuck
Cover and author photographs by Mary Ellen Matthews
Unless otherwise indicated all photographs are courtesy of the author.
Copyright
YES PLEASE. Copyright © 2014 by Amy Poehler. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.
FIRST EDITION
ISBN 978-0-06-226834-1
EPub Edition OCTOBER 2014 ISBN 9780062268372
14 15 16 17 18 OV/RRD 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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* It is at this point that Julia Louis Dreyfus’s lawyers would like me to point out that she won the Golden Globe in 2013.
† It is at this point that I would like to point out that once I won a Golden Globe, in 2014. I was sitting on Bono’s lap this time and I was genuinely surprised. I am now forced to admit that PUDDING IS DELICIOUS.
Amy Poehler, Yes Please
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