Firefly

  “Tell me what?” I insisted when he didn’t continue.

  “Jesus fuck, where do I begin?”

  I cringed at the curse. I knew I’d never be able to hear it and think of Beck in the same light again.

  “I don’t know what to say, because like I said, it’s not my story to tell. But, Mickey . . . he’s up to something bad. You heard about the contacts we have in Texas.”

  “The human trafficking.”

  “Right,” Beck said with a sigh. “Mickey has had that contact for years, longer than any of us realized. I mean, this all began right around the time that Aiden died and Mickey took out Dare’s dad.”

  I didn’t know how to be shocked that Mickey had been working with a guy who dealt in human trafficking for over sixteen years. After what I’d heard from Beck this afternoon, I wasn’t sure I could be shocked anymore.

  “This contact, William, the reason he and Mickey are so close—the reason Mickey wouldn’t let Kieran kill him when he went radio silent for that week—is because William’s been helping Mickey out for years. Mickey’s building his own ring and he’s forming it here. It’s going to be exactly the same. Bringing the girls here in shipments. Men buying them. He already has a list of men who have been campaigning for this with him. And he’s getting close to starting it.”

  I was wrong.

  “Oh God.”

  “Kieran knew he was hiding something from him and knew it had something to do with the ring starting up. Your boyfriend,” he said with a sneer, “was able to find out what that secret was.” He looked at me for a few seconds, his anger slowly growing. “I still can’t believe you’d fucking do this, Lil! I just keep seeing you standing there in that kitchen. How could you do this to Kieran?”

  “Beck,” I snapped. “What did Dare find out?”

  He let out an animalistic growl, dragging his hands over his head. “Mickey’s trying to start a fucking war within Holloway. He’s trying to get Finn and Bailey to do something so he can take them out.”

  “That’s been coming for a long time,” I murmured, not understanding.

  “He’s gonna have Teagan kidnapped and sold in the first batch of girls,” he explained, stunning me into silence.

  “I have . . . I have to warn . . .” My stomach rolled. “I’m gonna be sick,” I whispered, fumbling with my seatbelt then turning to claw at the door handle.

  I tumbled out of the car and onto the grassy side of the road just as my stomach lurched, desperately trying to find anything to get rid of.

  “It’s happening sometime in the next two weeks,” Beck said once my stomach finally settled.

  I looked over to see him leaning against the car.

  “I have to warn her. We have to save her, Beck.”

  I didn’t realize I was crying until I could no longer see him.

  “She can’t go from what Finn’s been doing to her to what Mickey has planned.”

  “I know,” Beck said as he placed a hand on my back to lead me into the car again, his voice gentle. “We’ll stop it. I promise.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Lil . . . do you have any idea what you’re doing?” he asked once he was on his side again. “Do you have any idea who Dare is?”

  “Yes, I know. I know who he is and who everyone in that house is. I didn’t at first, but by the time I did, I was so gone it didn’t matter.”

  Beck was quiet for so long I didn’t think he was going to talk anymore. “He wants to kill you.”

  “I know. Einstein told me about Gia—about what Mickey did.”

  “What happens when he finds out who you are?”

  “He’ll either find me on Holloway, or find out who I am while I’m with him. What’s the difference, Beck? He kills me either way.”

  “The difference is we can’t lose you, and you’ve accepted it’s going to happen,” he gritted out. “You’ve been my best friend my entire life. You’ve been Kieran’s . . . you’ve been his everything. We’re not going to let you die.”

  “You can’t stop it because I don’t want to live without him.”

  “That’s bullshit. He wants to fucking kill you.”

  “That girl you used to love, the one you said you’d do anything to be out on the streets every night just to be able to check on her . . . what if she was your undoing, Beck? What if you knew she was going to be? Would you still be there every night to check on her until that time came?”

  Beck studied me, and I knew he wanted to say no for the sake of the true argument here.

  When he didn’t respond, I nodded, because it was answer enough.

  It also made me think maybe Beck was still more in love with her than he let himself believe.

  “It’s not so different,” I whispered. “I just want time with him, and what kills me is that I have so little of it. We’re so close to the moment when he finds out, I can feel it in every second that passes. It’s like there’s an ache I can’t explain, growing inside me because my soul knows what’s coming.”

  “Have you thought about what this is going to do to Kieran?” he asked after a minute had passed.

  “For nearly two years,” I said with a pained huff.

  Beck sighed, then stared straight ahead, not bothering to start driving again.

  For the longest time, we didn’t speak. There was nothing more I could offer him, I’d already told him everything.

  “Kieran and Mickey are supposed to be back in time for the meeting tomorrow,” he mumbled, turning his head to notice me nodding. “What happens when I take you back to Holloway?”

  “You tell me.” I lifted a shoulder in a weak shrug. “Am I going to be handcuffed to Conor?”

  “I can’t tell him what happened. I mean, what happens when I sneak you back into the guesthouse, and then go back to work? Do you sneak right back out to meet him because you know Kieran and I won’t be back tonight?”

  Guilt swam in my stomach, but I decided to be honest with him. “Yeah.”

  With his jaw clenched, he gave a firm nod then reached for his seatbelt. I’d barely grabbed mine when he flipped the car around to go back the way we’d come. “I know I can’t stop you without risking you telling my brother what you know, but I can stop you from walking all over this town.”

  “Conor doesn’t know you’re—”

  “Keep him out of it,” he snarled. “I’ve been trying to keep him as far away from the bad shit on Holloway as possible.”

  “Okay,” I whispered, and pressed my hands to my weak stomach.

  The excitement of seeing Dare mixed with the guilt of what I was doing, and what I was now pulling Beck into. But Beck? He understood love. And I hoped he would eventually forgive my choices.

  “I’m picking you up on my way home from the streets. If you’re not in my car by four, I’m storming into that house and dragging you out. If Kieran finds out—”

  “He won’t know about you,” I said on a rush. “I promise he won’t know.”

  Beck looked over at me, pain etched on his face. “Lil, we’ve been working together . . . but something’s about to give. Be careful, and for fuck’s sake, figure out a way to say goodbye to him for the last time. They broke in and tore apart the house, looking for you.”

  “I know.”

  “No, you don’t,” he said roughly. “We didn’t mention to them about the destruction in the house. We didn’t mention the break-in. But Kieran picked up elevated anger from Johnny, and I could see it in the way Dare was looking at me. You were told why Dare wanted you dead, but do you not get that we’ve been working together for years, and Dare’s just realized that we’ve been lying to him about you this whole time?”

  No. I hadn’t picked up on that.

  “Dare’s taking his time. He wants us to know he’s coming. And he’s doing it to get back at all of us. There’s more that you don’t know, but Kieran has to be the one to tell you.”

  I looked at him warily then sank deeper into the seat.

  So many li
es, so much withheld. And still I knew I wouldn’t have done any of this differently.

  Because with Kieran, I’d felt shut out, locked away from people he trusted over me. I’d felt alone and shattered.

  And Dare had put me back together.

  The only shock after learning who Dare truly was had been realizing how utterly wrong I’d pegged him and his family all these years—Johnny excluded.

  His need to avenge Gia obliterated a part of my soul. But I knew if the roles were reversed—if someone had taken Dare from me—seeking revenge for his death would be the last thing I did before I left the mob forever.

  Beck rolled to a stop a handful of houses away, his knuckle-white grip unforgiving on the steering wheel. When I opened the door, he repeated, “Find a way to say goodbye, Lil.”

  I wasn’t ready.

  I was sure the moment would come when he had a gun to my head, and I still wouldn’t be ready.

  I paused, my pencil hovering over the records book in front of me. An ominous silence filled the house, leaving the office tight with tension.

  Without lifting my head, I looked at the twins from where they were sprawled out on a couple of the chairs and noticed that Maverick had stopped tossing the baseball in the air and Diggs was straightening in his seat.

  I slowly leaned over, my hand going to the middle drawer of the desk I was sitting at.

  “Where’s Johnny?” My question was hushed, but still sounded like an ear-splitting scream in the weighted silence.

  Neither of the twins responded with anything more than a slight shake of their heads as I eased the drawer open and grabbed my gun.

  I didn’t have time to continue worrying over why he’d never come back. I was thanking God that Elle was gone.

  Because this was what we’d been waiting for.

  Why we were all here.

  I held the twins’ stares as they reached for where they’d stashed their guns, my ear trained to whatever was happening outside the room we were in.

  I blew steady breaths out, slowing my heart rate and clearing my mind until I was someone I hated.

  “Get the girls,” I said on another breath out. “We bury no one.”

  Diggs stood without making a sound and pulled a black bandana from his back pocket, his brother quickly following.

  Once the lower half of their faces were covered, I reached for my own bandana, my heart stopping when I heard one of the girls yell.

  Instead of rushing into action, the sound made all of us pause.

  Because it wasn’t the kind of scream I’d been expecting and praying I wouldn’t hear.

  Maverick took an uncertain step forward, his furrowed brow and confused eyes all I could see as he looked between Diggs and me.

  “What are you doing?” she yelled again. “Johnny, stop!”

  The lethal calm I’d just achieved was nowhere to be found. Panic and white-hot rage pounded through my veins as I reacted, shoving the heavy wooden desk out of my way as I stood.

  Johnny’s name tore from my chest as I ran out of the office, sliding into the hallway wall when I rounded the corner too fast.

  The silence that had seemed so threatening had been a clear warning.

  But I’d read it wrong.

  I should’ve known when Johnny hadn’t come back and hadn’t alerted anyone. I should’ve fucking known.

  “Oh my God, Johnny . . . Johnny, stop!”

  I skidded to turn back toward the kitchen when I realized that’s where the yells were coming from, and barreled into the twins. “Move, move, move—”

  A scream ripped through the house, slowing my movements and stopping my heart before I could find the ability to move across the living room floor that now felt like quicksand.

  Seconds felt like hours.

  And when the kitchen finally came into view, the moment it took for me to hurl myself into the chaos felt like an eternity in hell.

  Einstein was gripping one of Johnny’s arms and his shirt, pleading with him to stop, but darted away when she turned and saw us coming.

  And Johnny . . . he had Elle bent over the island counter, his body covering hers. He had one of her bloodied arms extended, a large knife resting in his other hand as he sneered in her ear.

  Grabbing Johnny’s head and the hand holding the knife, I wrenched him backward, away from Elle, then turned to slam his head against the opposite counter near the sink.

  The knife dropped with a clatter against the floor, and I released his hand to wrap my arm around his neck. He shoved away from the counter, ramming my back into the island in an attempt to dislodge me. His fingers dug into my forearm, but I didn’t release him.

  “Ask her,” he choked out. “Ask her.”

  “I’ll fucking kill you,” I seethed as I tightened my hold around his throat.

  “Ask why she left. Who she was with.” Johnny roared as he slammed my back into the island once again, then spat, “Fucking Holloway.”

  The name caught me so off guard that my hold on Johnny slipped enough that he was able to break free.

  He planted a hand near the sink, sucking in air. “I knew not to trust her. She’s a fucking rat.”

  “He was waiting for me,” Elle bit out as Einstein tried to pull her toward the kitchen table. “He wanted to know how long I’ve been with Dare.”

  I shot forward when Johnny took a menacing step toward the girls, and demanded, “Who was waiting?”

  The crazed look in Johnny’s eyes as they focused on Elle promised everything I’d been trying to keep locked up our entire lives. “Went to take a piss, looked out the window and Beck goes driving past. Not twenty seconds later, this fucking whore comes walking up. You goddamn dirty—”

  I threw a punch into his curled mouth, using all my weight as momentum, advancing on him when he swayed back. “I told you not to touch her. I told you not to go near her. Leave before I change my mind on letting you live.”

  I looked at where Einstein was holding towels against Elle’s arm, and stepped in their direction.

  “I knew something wasn’t right when that glass shattered,” Johnny taunted. “Bet it was because she knew exactly who—”

  “Fucking leave.”

  He stepped close, his eyes narrowed and face covered in blood. “You know there’s something not right about her. Ask her and see how she responds.”

  Looking at the twins, I gestured to Johnny. “Get him out of the house.”

  “Babe, let’s go,” Johnny called out as Diggs forced him out of the kitchen, but Einstein wouldn’t look at him. “Babe.”

  I looked over my shoulder and knew from the pain and promise of death in his eyes I could never let Johnny near Elle again.

  Einstein mattered most in Johnny’s world, and she’d just chosen Elle over him.

  We both had.

  “I’ve got this,” I murmured to Einstein once I heard the front door shut. “Where’s Libby?”

  Einstein didn’t meet my gaze when she replied, “Work.”

  “Go there, stay until she’s off. I don’t want any of you alone right now.”

  She walked away without another word, Maverick trailing close behind her.

  I didn’t ask if she was okay, because I knew she wasn’t. And Einstein didn’t like others knowing her heart was made of anything less than stone—just like Johnny’s.

  With a sigh, I finally looked at the girl next to me. “I have about a hundred things I want to say and ask and do. Including kissing you and demanding to know why the hell you didn’t scream for me the second you saw him coming toward you. But those can wait.” Opening up the towels, I looked at the cut running up her forearm, my blood boiling when I saw it. “Right now, we need to get this taken care of. Can you walk or do you think you’re going to faint?”

  “I can walk.”

  “Let’s go.” Wrapping my arm around her, I led her through the house to my mom’s room.

  Knocking on the door, I waited for her to answer.

  From the grim
look on her face, she’d heard the screams and had been waiting for this visit. When she saw Elle tucked into my side her eyes fluttered shut, and she muttered a curse with Johnny’s name attached to it.

  “Come here, you poor girl. Let me see what happened and what we can do for you.” When I started to follow them in, Mom released Elle and whirled on me. Shoving her hand into my chest, she pushed me out of the room. “Johnny is going to be the death of you in every sense of the word, Demitri. Don’t let him lead you and everyone else to your deaths because you feel responsible for him—because you feel like you owe him.”

  “Mom . . . he’s—”

  “I understand family that runs deeper than blood,” she ground out. “I understand loyalty. You’re a fool if you think he does too.” With another hard shove to my chest, she jerked her chin. “Get this girl something for the pain. Get her food. And for God’s sake, think about what you’re putting this family and this girl through by letting him control your mind.”

  I stared at the door in shock and denial for long minutes before turning to go back into the kitchen where Elle’s blood still lingered all over the island and floor.

  Searching the takeout drawer for a menu, I called in for food, then started cleaning once I found a bottle of aspirin. The entire time my mom’s words replayed in my mind.

  But none of it made sense.

  If anyone was controlling the other—it was me controlling Johnny.

  I’d been the one reeling him in our entire lives. I’d been the one calming him.

  But for the first time, I didn’t know how to quiet his savage side. And it fucking terrified me.

  “You’re a brave girl,” Sofia said, her voice sad as she bandaged my arm. “I’m sorry we couldn’t take you to a hospital to do this.”

  I watched as the last of the perfectly neat stiches disappeared under the wrappings and nodded. “I understand.”