Shadows in the Silence

  “We don’t have to do this,” he whispered. “We can stop.”

  “No,” I said quickly. I took a breath to steady my voice. “I don’t want to stop.”

  He nodded gently and his mouth returned to mine. Expert hands traced along my spine, sending shivers to my toes, erasing my doubt. I raised my own arms over my head, inviting him in, and he slid my tank top off. I fought my nerves, trembling all over, as I allowed him to see me. He only paused for a few moments, gazing down at me, before he pressed himself to my body and kissed me fiercely. When his bare skin brushed against mine, I took in a sharp breath and trembled. I could feel how strong his heart beat in his chest, echoing my own pounding pulse. It was alien to feel someone’s bare skin against my own, even if it was his—a body I knew as well as my own, or at least I’d thought so. He pulled back just a little and looked into my eyes. His lips were parted and my own were swollen with his kisses.

  “Are you sure?” he whispered, his eyes moving over every inch of my face. His gaze was heavy, as if he felt too much all at once for him to contain it.

  I answered by taking his hand and leading him to his bed. He lay down with me, his body hovering over mine. He’d never touched me more gently than he touched me now. He moved slowly and his gaze was glued to mine as he shimmied my shorts over my hips and down my legs. The hesitation in his touch had vanished completely, but he was no less tender. One of his hands slid down my side and around the back of my thigh, tugging me closer to him. He kissed my mouth and his lips moved southward, kissing and touching me in places I never knew could experience such things. Time moved in waves of consciousness…moments where I was completely aware of where I was and then other moments where I slipped away and knew nothing at all but a beautiful sense of physical touch. The pain, when that moment finally came, was so brief, so fleeting, that as soon as it had passed, what rushed through me in its stead consumed my senses. Every part of him moved as gracefully as he did in battle, just as fluid and just as precise. Each time our eyes met, the connection was so fierce that it took my breath away. After everything we’d been through together, after hundreds of years, I had never imagined we could find an intimacy stronger than we’d felt before.

  Then, even as he kissed me and his body moved with mine, an unwanted spark of worry made me wonder if things would change between us after tonight. Had they already changed between us when he’d kissed me for the first time back in the wreckage of the warehouse? But nothing about this was wrong. It was beautiful. I felt more loved and alive than ever before. After spending so long feeling more and more inhuman as my divine power claimed me, he brought me back. The battles I fought and the blood I shed threatened to unravel my humanity, which I clung to so desperately, but he held me together with ease. With every kiss and touch, he saved me, brought me closer to Earth, to him. I’d never felt more human. I’d never made a more right decision. It seemed like we’d been falling through the sky for centuries and we’d found the ground at last. His soul had been so beaten and torn and aching to return home. For him, I was home. And for me, he was the tide carrying me there.

  Hours later, I woke with a gentle intake of air and my eyes fluttered open. The room was still dark and I was still lying in Will’s bed, naked, with only the sheets covering us both, and we were tangled in each other’s arms. He lay on his side facing me with his eyes closed. I touched his bottom lip and the back of my finger traced his jaw up to his ear. The silver cross and chain around his neck were splayed across the pillow. He made no sound other than his long, gentle breaths as he slept. He huffed and rolled onto his back and let out a soft snore.

  I wrapped my hand around his cheek and kissed his neck. His lips curved into that secret smile of his and he groggily stirred out of sleep. Before he was fully awake, I kissed his throat again, barely able to keep the silly laughter from my lips, and then I kissed his chest, his shoulder, his cheek, his temple, and his lips at last. He wrapped a hand around the back of my head and tugged me closer to deepen the kiss. I drew away, leaning over him, and my hair fell over his face. His eyes were bright, gazing up into my mine, with a wonder and satisfaction that I’d only ever dreamed of seeing in them.

  The backs of his fingers grazed my cheek. “I want to wake up like this every day,” he said.

  My body warmed all the way down to my toes and I smiled at him. He pulled me down to him and kissed me gently, his hands working their magic. I broke away and brushed my nose across his cheek. He looked at me and thumbed my chin.

  “How are you?” he asked, his voice soft and serious. “How do you feel?”

  I brushed his hair up off his forehead so that it stuck out messily, but adorably. “Wonderful. Amazing. Beautiful.”

  “Are you happy?”

  I smiled, leaned over him, and kissed him again, slow this time. “I have never been happier.”

  He smiled back. “I love you, Ellie. I don’t want to let go of this moment. I want to be lost in you forever.”

  I settled back into the bed and curled up against him, resting my cheek on his chest. “I wish we could stay here and let the world go on without us. I wish we could be normal.”

  He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me closer. “Without us, the world won’t go on at all. When all of this is over, we’ll be able to breathe. I promise. And you know I don’t break my promises.”

  “I know,” I said. I traced his lips with my fingertips and he kissed them.

  We drifted in and out of sleep until the sun rose and bathed the room in golden light. As much as I’d have loved to lie in bed all day, my growling stomach was very demanding and very vocal about its needs. I dragged myself out from under the sheets to dress myself, feeling the butterflies again and totally aware he could see all of me. I tugged on my shorts and pulled my tank over my head, glancing back at Will, who watched me. I bit my lip, unable to stop myself from thinking about how incredible he looked lying there.

  “I want breakfast, but you are too tempting,” I told him.

  He grinned. “We have all day, you know.”

  A warm rush fluttered in my stomach and I had to force myself to leave his room. I prodded around the kitchen and decided that today was a pancakes day. It wasn’t long before Will joined me in the kitchen, pretending to be curious about the griddle I’d started to heat up. As I mixed the pancake batter at the counter, he stepped up close behind me, pressing his body against my back and dipping his head over my shoulder. His lips brushed my neck and his hands squeezed my hips.

  “Will…”

  “I like kitchens, don’t you?”

  I laughed and wiggled away from him, bowl in hand. “I’m trying to make you food here. I’m not domestic in the slightest, so you should cherish this.”

  He expression became somewhat serious. “Always.”

  Understanding the other meaning in his response, I closed the distance between us and kissed him before returning to the counter to finish. I sprinkled cinnamon into the batter and dropped globs of the pancake goo onto the griddle. As I cooked breakfast and joked around with Will, it was such a relief not to worry about anything for a few minutes. It felt like we hadn’t had a break in so long.

  I finished my breakfast, took my plate to the sink, and returned to the table. I stopped next to Will’s seat and he looked up at me with a curious look. I climbed onto his lap, a leg on either side of him, and I draped my arms over his shoulders. My sly grin matched his.

  “Hello,” I said.

  His grin widened and his hands fell on my waist. “Hello. Can I help you?”

  I cupped his face and kissed him, not failing to notice there was something different in my kiss. He seemed to notice it too. There was a casual ease in my kiss, a lack of any lingering shyness or doubt between us. I could now kiss him in the way I’d dreamed of kissing him, letting him know exactly how much I wanted him without feeling like it was wrong to do so. There was this intense sense of freedom in our touch, no reason to hold back anymore. And it was incredible. r />
  He took hold of my thighs and stood, kissing me as he carried me upstairs.

  16

  A GROUP MEMORIAL SERVICE WOULD BE HELD AT the high school for all of the teens killed at Josie’s house. I made it a goal to scout leads on possible locations of the Pentalpha before the service, and we would act the day after. I knew I had a special connection with the relic since I was the one who made it and I’d likely be able to sense its energy. That would be very helpful once the search began.

  I didn’t get the chance to hang out with Kate before the memorial service and/or tell her about what had happened between Will and me. Every time I thought about it, I found myself biting my lip and feeling those unbidden butterflies. I knew that conversation would warrant a sleepover and long girl talk. Kate and I had so much to say to each other before I left.

  The candlelight memorial brought a somber mood to the recently graduated teens and their families. My smiles from the past couple of days couldn’t have shielded my heart from the sadness that overwhelmed me when I returned to my high school for the first time since commencement. I sat with Kate, Chris, Rachel, and Evan among the rest of my former classmates in the football field beneath the endless night sky, and Landon’s absence was heartbreakingly noticeable. In my hands, I held one of the roses he had given me for my seventeenth birthday that my mom had dried for me. She had always loved drying flowers. In a way, this rose was for both of them. There were several faces I looked for but did not see, and the missingness that was felt in all of us was a low, heavy, suffocating cloud. There was no way to explain how strange it was for everyone to be so sad when the last time we were here and all together, we had felt nothing but pure joy and excitement.

  Our principal closed the service by giving a speech that brought us all to tears. Kate squeezed my hand as we got up from our seats and filed out of the rows of chairs to line up and pay our respects. An altar covered in framed photographs of the dead, flowers, and candles stood on the platform the speakers had presented from, and everyone in line passed by in a gloomy, teary procession. People left small gifts that had meaning between them and those that had been lost: friendship bracelets, a football, a ribbon that said “Daddy’s Little Girl,” and more photographs of the deceased and their friends and family. I decided then that I wanted to write letters to each of the families, to express my condolences for their losses. I left Landon’s rose in front of his picture and Kate took my hand and laid her cheek on my shoulder as we stopped to gaze at his picture. The three of us had been so close for nearly our entire lives, and it truly felt as if there was a hole in me now. I knew Kate had to feel the same. Losing Landon gave me so much sorrow, but I also felt an intense anger at the demonic who had done this to us. To all of us.

  Kate and I went to meet up with Will, Marcus, and Ava afterward, who had accompanied us and kept a lookout. We rounded the bleachers where the students’ families sat, and a hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the beams supporting the stands. I gaped in surprise when I recognized the red and puffy faces of Harper Knight, Josie Newport, and a couple of their friends. Harper released my arm roughly, glaring at me something vicious.

  “What?” I asked, but I was more concerned with Josie’s appearance. She looked absolutely anguished, with fresh tears smeared across her cheeks and her usually perfect makeup and hair a total mess. “Are you okay?”

  “We saw you,” Harper snarled, her face twisted in anger. “You know what really happened, don’t you?”

  I stared, speechless. “I—”

  Kate stepped between us, turning on her pit bull charm. “Hey. Back off. We have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “No, I think you do!” Harper shoved Kate and Kate would have swung her fist if I hadn’t caught it.

  “Stop it!” Josie cried, and grabbed Harper’s shoulder. “Let’s just go.”

  Harper ignored her. “Don’t lie to me, Ellie. We saw you with those monsters. We saw you with freaking swords. I’m not blind and I’m not the only one who saw! What did you do, you psycho? Did you kill those kids?”

  I almost choked on the air in my lungs. “Oh my God! I lost one of my best friends too!”

  “How dare you?” Kate demanded and shoved Harper in the chest, knocking her back. “What the hell is the matter with you?”

  I started to walk away, feeling the tears stinging my eyes and nausea creeping up my throat. I already felt guilty enough for Landon’s death and the deaths of all the other people, but the last thing I could handle was being directly accused of killing them.

  “We saw you, Ellie!” Harper yelled at my back. “You can’t deny it!”

  I spun around and stomped right into her face. “You want to know what I was doing? I was trying to save you, bitch. You’d all be dead if I hadn’t been there! All of you!”

  Kate took my arm. “Ell, don’t.”

  I knew she was afraid of my blowing my cover, but I’d already lost my temper. “I don’t care anymore! Harper, you’re right. I do know what happened. Those monsters were real and I’m the only one who can kill them. That’s what those swords are for. I did everything I could that night. I fought. All I ever do is fight. And fighting you is not worth my time, so get out of my face.”

  She gaped back at me, Josie whimpering beside her, their other friends silent. I spun and walked away as quickly as I could, Kate on my heels. Will appeared out of nowhere, pulling me into his arms to comfort me. Marcus stood behind him, watching the girls we’d just left with disgust, and Ava joined him, her own expression hard and angry.

  Will lifted my chin to meet his gaze. “What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

  I shrugged, exhausted and heartsick. “Yeah. Just someone giving me crap.”

  He looked up suddenly and I was surprised to see Josie walking toward me, wiping her tears away with the thin sleeve of her shirt. Harper and the others were nowhere in sight.

  “Ellie, I’m so sorry,” Josie sniffled. “I know I shouldn’t make excuses for her, but she’s angry and hurt. one of the kids who was killed was her new boyfriend. That doesn’t make it okay for her to lash out at you, though.”

  I gave her a tiny, grateful smile. “I understand what it’s like to want someone to blame.”

  Her eyes flickered to the ground and past my head, and she seemed hesitant. “Is what you said true? About those things that were in my house, killing people? I saw you with the swords too.” She looked at Will. “And you were there too. Do you really fight them?”

  “You told her?” Will asked me, surprised.

  “Yes,” I confessed. “They’re what killed my parents, Mr. Meyer, and those people at your party. I’m sorry I couldn’t save everyone. It’s impossible for me to, but I still try so hard.”

  “Do you need any help?” she asked with genuine sweetness.

  “I’ve got help,” I said. “Thank you. I’m about to leave, Josie. Tomorrow, actually. I have to find something very important that can help me stop something even worse than the monsters who killed our friends. If I don’t come back…if I never see you again…well, thank you for being kind, Josie. You’re a good person and you’ve always been nice to me.”

  She frowned. “You sound so sad.”

  I smiled at her and fought back a tear. “I’ve got to go. Bye, Josie.”

  To my shock, she yanked me into a hug. “Bye, Ellie. Be safe.”

  I let my shoulders relax after a moment. “You too.”

  When we parted, I was sad to leave Josie. She really was a nice girl and I’d miss her. If I survived this war, I would visit her. I would do a lot of things. I would go antiquing with Nana again like we used to. Kate and I would waste a million hours wandering around the mall. Maybe I’d even join a rock band. If I survived this war, then I would really live. I’d savor every moment in the sunshine, catch as many snowflakes on my tongue as I could, and I’d love as fiercely as my heart would allow. I wouldn’t let the demonic take anything else from me. I wouldn’t let anyone take from me what m
ade me…me.

  Will and I sat in the living room at the house, hard at work with Ava, Cadan, and Marcus, going through known relic guardians and choosing which were the most promising to check out. We could pick a few locations out of a hundred, but in the end, the Pentalpha might not be in any of them. our odds of success didn’t seem so great.

  “What about this one?” I asked, pulling the photo of a girl—no, an angelic reaper—out from the pile.

  Ava shook her head. “She protects a demonic relic, a blade Lilith used to murder babies in their cribs.”

  I exhaled in frustration. “You know all of these relic guardians and what they’re guarding, but none of them can help us.”

  “Most of them I know,” she agreed. “Not these three.”

  She pushed three file sheets toward Will and me, and we peered over the table to take a look. The first document had a small photograph of a male reaper paper-clipped to a sheet of his known physical traits, apparently for identification purposes, and the name of a town was circled in red ink in the top right corner: Apache Junction, Arizona. The second file listed the guardian’s name as “Unknown” and featured a map of a region in Brazil with a small village near Manaos highlighted. The last file had only a question mark scribbled in red above a map of Belgium.

  “What do you have?” Cadan asked.

  “This is all the information there is on these guardians and their relics,” Ava explained. “I have the most comprehensive collection of information on relic guardians and these three are a mystery to me. It must be that secrecy is their top priority. They want to remain unknown because whatever they are protecting is of the greatest power. These are the three relics we need to track down.”

  “Excellent,” Will said. “Ellie and I will track down the Arizona guardian. Marcus and Ava will go to Brazil.”