Doing it my way

him at his gym locker. He looked up and asked, "Can I help you?"

     Of course, it was Becker who spoke up, "Ian...You actually with' her?"

     Ian paused, carefully taking into consideration how he worded his answer. He stood up, and looked his nemesis right in the eye. "You know Becker, I know exactly what you're thinking right now. That a real man would defend his woman's honour. I'm now supposed to ask you if you'd like to 'step outside' and then make you eat those words." Ian shut his locker. "Well you know what? I'm not into vulgar displays of male plumage. Besides, Rita isn't the kind of girl that's impressed by that sort of thing."

     "You're just chicken, 'cause you know I can beat the stuffing out of you," Becker was not amused by Ian's verbal lingo.

     "Becker, need I remind you that Coach Bert is standing right outside the door. You want to get us both sent to the Principal's office?"

     While the two of them were talking, most of the other guys who were gathered around had started to disperse, until it was basically just Ian, Becker and Tim left in the room. Ian felt this was a major victory. In the past, they certainly would've remained there and taken Becker's side.

     "Let me give you some advice," Ian was now thinking about what Becker had said while they were jogging. "If you're looking for a girlfriend, Betty definitely wouldn't be a good choice for you. I think Phoebe Shan is more the sort who would be impressed by your tiresome bullshit."

     This suggestion enraged Becker, who grabbed Ian by his shirt and held him up against the lockers, "You really think I need advice from a buffoon!?"

     "That's enough, Becker!" Coach Bert's voice came booming from behind him. Apparently he had been hearing the whole conversation from elsewhere in the room. "He just said he didn't want to fight, and you grab him like that anyway? Come with me."

     The coach led Becker away, presumably to the principal's office. For a brief moment, Ian just stood there and basked in the moment. Then he noticed that Tim was still standing there staring at him with his usual confused look. "Tim, you really ought to get a life."

     Who the hell is Tim, anyway? What grade is he in? What's his last name? Nobody seemed to know. A mute, tall, skinny geek who's mouth was always hanging open, though nothing ever came out of it. He always seems to be hanging out with whatever school bully is convenient.

     As Tim disappeared behind the lockers, Ian suddenly remembered that Rita was about to give him a batting lesson. He re-opened his locker, grabbed his baseball bat, and went to meet her.

     Meanwhile, in the girl's locker room, a similar conversation had been taking place. Rita had just finished tying her shoes when she looked up to find a gaggle of girls gathered around her. "Uh, is there something I can help you with?" She asked.

     "Yeah," said one girl. "We've all been debating the pros and cons of Ian, and for some reason, haven't been able to come up with any pros."

     "Ian is stupid, lazy, clumsy and butt-ugly," added another.

     "Is he about to inherit a fortune or something?" Asked another.

     "Do you know something about him that we don't?" asked the first girl.

     Rita took a deep breath, and stood up. "Actually, I know a lot of things about him you don't...But I'm only going to tell you the most important one. We've been together for a week now, and in all that time, not once have I ever heard him say anything disparaging or vindictive about any of you." She paused. "As a matter of fact, think about it. Has he ever even said anything mean to you in your presence? Has he ever returned any of your insults?"

     "Of course not," replied one of the girls. "He's too much of a fool to do that." This got some laughs.

     Rita just shook her head. "Alright, I've said all I have to say." She got up and started to walk away, when one of the girls blurted out a final question.

     "You're not actually dating the guy, are you?"

     Rita stopped in her tracks, and thought for a moment...What would be the perfect comeback to that question? She decided that the truth would be funnier than anything she could possibly make up. She turned around, and with a devilish expression, delivered her punch line.

     "I'll have you all know that on the very first day we met, Ian pulled my pants down and stuck his hand between my legs."

     She winked at them, and with that statement walked away, leaving a locker room full of very bewildered looking girls. It was now time to give her boyfriend some batting lessons.

  3:07 pm

     The batting cage was Alamanda middle school's most unused resource. Located in a corner of the yard, it was installed some twenty years earlier, for reasons that have long since been forgotten. Whenever somebody wanted to practice swinging a bat at a ball, there was generally always someone else around to do the pitching. The idea of having a chain link structure with a machine that pitches balls might've looked good on paper, but now Rita and Ian were even wondering if the thing still worked.

     "When do you suppose, was the last time this apparatus was used?" Asked Rita, as she loaded up a few balls.

     "Who knows." Ian was skeptical "I can't remember ever seeing anybody actually using this thing, this year or last."

     "Well, we'll find out in about twenty seconds. Position yourself at the plate." After switching the machine on, and setting the timer, she walked back to where Ian was standing to get a good view of his technique.

     The first ball shot out. He swung and missed. The second ball shot out. He swung and missed.

     Finally, after the third ball, he turned to her and said, "I think this thing needs to be adjusted so it's a little slower."

     "Watch this." She took the bat from him. and assumed a ready stance.

     "Be careful Rita. Remember, you're not supposed to be putting any stress on your upper body."

     "I'm just going to hit a couple." A ball shot out, and she whacked it right back at the machine, nearly hitting it. Another one shot out, and she knocked it so hard into the chain link ceiling, that it nearly made a dent. Then she stopped, and started to rub her right shoulder with her left hand.

     He walked over and started rubbing it for her. "That's enough showing off for one day."

     "Ian, I think I know what's wrong, and it has nothing to do with your form, which is fine."

     "Stand at the plate again." Rita went and reloaded the balls into the automatic pitcher. She then walked midway through the cage towards him, and held her arm out. "I want you to swing when you see the ball right here."

     The ball came shooting out, and he did what she told him. The ball tipped off his bat and fouled behind him.

     "You're getting it. Try again!" She cheered him on.

     Another ball shot out, and this time Ian connected with it hard. It flew into the opposite upper corner of the cage.

     "Whoa...how did I do that?" Ian couldn't even believe it.

     Rita had figured it out. "Ian, there's nothing wrong at all with your technique. The problem is that you appear to be a little nearsighted. That's why you were missing the ball. It's a lot closer to you than you think it is." Another ball shot out, and without even being prepared, he hit it hard. "Good one, I think you've got it. How do you feel now?"

     "I feel guilty. I wish there was some way I could repay you for this."

     Rita found that statement amusing. "You've got to be kidding. You just spent the last week waiting on me hand and foot, not to mention delivering my homework. You don't owe me anything. Get over here."

     The two youngsters embraced and kissed.

     "So tomorrow are you going to teach me to catch?" asked Ian rhetorically.

     "No. Tomorrow we're taking Steven and Sheila to the movies, remember?"

     Ian rolled his eyes at his own absent mindedness. "Of course. I'll go put back the bat, you go put back the balls, and I'll give you a lift home on my bike. "

 
   "Wow!How romantic."

  3:45 pm

     The two of them split off in different directions. Ian went back to his gym locker to put away the bat. Before working the combination, he heard a slight noise coming from two isles over. Was somebody else in there with him? Still holding the bat, he peeked around the corner. At first he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Ricky and Tim appeared to be hugging each other in a more than friendly manner. Once he was convinced that he wasn't hallucinating, it was a struggle to keep from laughing. Finally composing himself, he stepped into full view of them and cracked an obvious joke.

     "Ricky, that's not cool. Felix's been gone for only one day and you're already dating' his wife?"

  Tim instantly went into a state of complete panic. He lunged towards Ian, but Ricky grabbed his arm and held him back.

     "Tim, he's got a bat!"

     "And I'll use it!" Ian now held it up in a menacing manner, and stared at Tim. "As a matter of fact, in your case I think I'm entitled to use it. Don't think it hasn't occurred to me that this is the only place in the entire school where there are no surveillance cameras."

     Ricky stood in front of Tim to shield him. "Ian, please."

     Ian was not moved. "Ricky, do you have any idea how many times this idiot has helped Felix and Becker kick the shit out of me?" He addressed Tim. "From now on, you're the one who's going to fear me." Ian went back to his own locker, put the bat away, and exited the building.

     A few seconds later,