Love (Ai)
***
It wasn’t easy, it should have been, she was his mother, he had irrefutable proof thanks to the DNA test, but it seemed to stop there. They differed on everything else. He wasn’t meant to live a life tied up by Kiyoshi family rules. He couldn’t be the good son who dressed up, and spend time trying to understand the rules of the family. He didn’t know the right way to eat with a mind-boggling array of cutlery. What was wrong with a pair of chopsticks? He didn’t want to cut his hair, he liked it long. He hated suits, and felt comfortable in his jeans and t-shirts. He painted, it was his life, he made a living that way.
Two months of constant turmoil, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be a part of the family. He just knew that he missed his apartment, and hanging out with Kaori at Hitoiro until whatever time of the night, he wanted. Seated in a sun bright solarium a day before the two months was up, Kyo stared at the blank page on his sketchbook wondering what he was supposed to do now.
He liked the idea of his own mother, Rin was an interesting woman, but he was loyal to grandma and grandpa Tatsuya. They had loved him enough to give him their name, and a home, abandoning them would be wrong. Rin wanted him to change his last name to Kiyoshi, and he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“You’re frowning again,” Ryuu said into the room making him drop the pen he was tapping against the sketchpad. “What did you do this time?”
Kyo sighed, unable to stop staring at Ryuu. The man had become his knight in shining armor. Always stepping in when things got too uncomfortable, Ryuu had rescued him out of a million situations that would have turned into a nightmare. It didn’t help that he still thought him handsome. On workdays like today, Ryuu was always impeccably dressed. He was in a black suit today with a burgundy shirt that was open at the collar. His dark hair was stylishly cut, a lock of it fell over his forehead, making Kyo want to walk over and brush it back.
“I’m going to go back to my apartment,” Kyo said quietly, looking away from Ryuu. “I don’t belong here.”
“Kyo,” Ryuu said in surprise. Walking into the room, Ryuu came to sit beside him on the chaise. Picking up the drawing pen from the floor, he stared at it for a moment before he handed it to Kyo. “You want to run away.”
“May be,” Kyo said with a shrug turning on his seat so that he was looking at Ryuu. He ran through the information that he’d learned about Ryuu. Ryuu was twenty-eight, single and a second born son. His older brother was married to a Kiyoshi that was how he’d gotten the position he held with Rin’s foundation. The couple had renewed their vows after a few years of being apart on the day Ryuu picked him up from the gallery.
“Of all the people who live in this house, you are the one that belongs here the most,” Ryuu said quietly. “Not the two aunts who are giving you hell for not knowing how to use the cutlery, not the uncle who doesn’t want you working at the foundation. And certainly none of their brats is going to inherit any of it even if you leave. You are Rin’s only child, her son; you are the only one who deserves her consideration.”
“But it’s too hard,” Kyo said quietly. “I don’t have the kind of strength needed-
“I can be your strength, Kyo,” Ryuu said quietly. “You just have to get through tomorrow and the next day, and it will all be over.”
“I don’t know if I can,” Kyo sighed staring at the blank page again. He hadn’t been able to draw in a week now. That scared him a bit. He always drew; nothing had ever stopped that place inside him that felt the urge to create. Holding the pen, his hand over the page determined to make any kind of line, even a straight line would be acceptable, and instead his hand shook helplessly leaving the page blank.
He was supposed to be concentrating on preparing for his thesis. His adviser was expecting a rough draft soon, and a full concept of his final exhibition. Yet, he couldn’t even draw a single line. Closing his eyes, the idea of going back to his single roomed apartment began to look even more inviting. He couldn’t lose his art.
His hand was covered by a bigger one, and the pen was pressed to the sketchpad. He opened his eyes to find the Ryuu holding his hand steady against the page. Turning his head slightly, his gaze was captured by smiling dark eyes. “I can’t draw, but I can keep the pen steady if you move it.”
Kyo laughed at the suggestion and turned his attention back to the page. Ryuu’s hand was steady, Kyo moved it over the page and for an inordinate amount of time, he directed the pen over the sketchpad. Finally stopping, he looked at the Zen garden they had drawn together. It was rough, hardly spectacular and would need a lot more work to make it worth looking at. Ryuu let go of his hand and took the sketchpad away from him holding it up.
“My first drawing,” Ryuu said into his ear with quiet excitement. That tone made him smile. Ryuu had that effect on him. “Can I keep it?”
“Sure,” Kyo said.
“Thank you,” Ryuu said happily. He placed the sketchpad on the cushion beside him, turning slightly; Ryuu pulled him into a hug. “Don’t leave,” he murmured quietly into Kyo’s ear.
Snuggling into the warmth of Ryuu’s body, he pressed his face into Ryuu’s chest. He wrapped his arms around Ryuu, his hands pressing against the strong back. Taking in a deep breath, he filled his senses with Ryuu’s intoxicating scent.
“Stay, for me,” Ryuu said quietly into his ear. “Stay with me, Kyo.”
His heart answered the request, snuggling deeper into Ryuu’s chest, he tilted his head slightly, enough to look into dark searching eyes. “What if I lose myself here? I feel it already. I can’t lose my art, Ryuu.”
“I’ll hold the pen,” Ryuu promised. “I’ll remind you. Just promise to stay a while longer.”
He couldn’t help agreeing to that request. Ryuu had that effect on him, it didn’t help that a soft kiss was pressed to the top of his head and strong arms wrapped around him tightly. He could have stayed there forever.