Mutant Bunny Island

  “You must be Perry.”

  I nodded.

  “Thank you so much,” she said. “I don’t know how Zeke grew these, but they’re marvelous. Do you think you could help out by peeling a few?”

  That sounded horrible, but I nodded again.

  She handed me a peeler and told me to copy what Juliet was doing. The blenders were buzzing, the customers were shouting, but Juliet was smiling and peeling.

  “Hold the carrot with the tip facing down,” she said. “Then slide the peeler away from you with a quick stroke.”

  I picked up a large purple carrot and tried to copy her.

  “Did they find Mrs. Ruth?” I yelled to Juliet over the noise of the blenders.

  “No, but I found out that there’s a health retreat happening on the far side of the island,” she said. “Big companies put them on and everyone goes and stares at the sun and sweats out their problems. I think she might have gone there. Maybe your uncle’s there, too.”

  “He’s not,” I insisted. “He’s in trouble, and I really shouldn’t be here peeling carrots. I should be looking for him.”

  I finished peeling my first carrot, and it didn’t look good.

  “Try harder on the next one,” Juliet said. She then began peeling carrots like a mad person. I tried to keep up so that she didn’t outpeel me, but she was way too fast.

  I was doing such a poor job that Flower moved me up to the counter to help hand the customers their drinks. I was okay with the move because it was the perfect place to get information. As I handed out the cups, I was able to ask all sorts of questions.

  “Do you know my uncle Zeke?”

  “Do you know anything about ‘MEL’?”

  “How do you feel about amphibians?”

  “Have you seen anyone wearing trench coats lately?”

  “Are you aware of any coves or caves?”

  “How can you drink this stuff?”

  Surprisingly, the customers had no problem answering all the questions I threw at them.

  “Yes, we know Zeke.”

  “I have a cousin named Mel who lives in New York.”

  “Amphibians are fine.”

  “No trench coats, but I did see a lady wearing a windbreaker.”

  “There are caves on the other side of the island.”

  “Easy! This juice tastes like heaven.”

  The blenders kept on blending, the customers kept on ordering, and I kept asking questions. Nobody had specific information about my uncle, but everyone seemed to know him and most thought he was probably at the retreat. My mind was filled with useless information, and before I knew it, it was eight o’clock at night and Flower was shutting down for the day. She had to turn the last few people away.

  “More juice tomorrow!” she called out.

  People groaned and complained, but eventually they walked away, leaving the inside of the Liquid Love Shack much quieter.

  All of us workers were covered with bits of carrot and splashes of juice. Juliet had a long, fluffy green carrot leaf in her hair, and everyone’s hands were purple.

  “Gather round,” Flower said.

  We did, and she poured everyone—besides me—a glass of the juice. She tried to give me some, but I settled for water.

  “Thank you,” Flower said, raising her glass. “In all the years I’ve run the Liquid Love Shack, we have never had a day like today. And it wouldn’t have been possible without Perry.”

  I looked around, thinking she was talking about some other Perry. It took me a moment to realize she meant me.

  Flower lifted her glass higher. “To Perry and Zeke and their miraculous carrots.”

  “To Perry,” everyone cheered.

  “To me,” I said holding up my glass of water.

  I wasn’t trying to make a joke, but everyone laughed. I took a drink of water as Flower turned on the radio and music played. We all sat around and ate sandwiches and drank juice and water. It would have been my best day ever . . . if not for the fact that I still hadn’t found my uncle. He was counting on me and I was wasting time celebrating his carrots.

  As I was sitting there worrying, Rain approached me.

  “Listen, you’re not the worst Bunny Mooner ever.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I mean, you’re a bit unusual, but you really helped my mom.” Rain smiled a weird smile and punched me in the shoulder with a purple fist. “Later,” he said, walking off.

  The moment Rain left, Juliet came over and sat down. She had her headphones around her neck, and her purple hands looked almost like cool superhero gloves.

  “You feel all right?” she asked.

  “Yeah, but it’s hard to be too pumped up when I still haven’t found my uncle.”

  “I’m sure he’s at the retreat.”

  “Are you kidding?” I asked. “I know he’s not.”

  “Think about it, Perry. No newts took him.”

  “What?”

  “That’s really not possible. I borrowed an encyclopedia from one of the granola people, and there are no newts that grow anywhere near big enough to kidnap your uncle.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. At first I thought Juliet was teasing me, but she just kept talking.

  “I like things to be mysterious, too, but I think it’s safe to say that your uncle is just on vacation or something.”

  “That, that is the most unsafe thing to say I’ve ever heard,” I sputtered.

  “I’m not trying to make you mad.” She was beginning to sound a little bothered herself. “But there’s got to be a logical explanation.”

  If I hadn’t already tested Juliet for newt, I would have sworn she was one. She was talking crazy. A logical explanation? That was nuts, and I was too tired and upset to hear any more.

  “Stop,” I said. “You don’t understand. There were messages in the comic book he sent me. One said ‘MEL,’ and ‘mel’ means newt.”

  “You don’t know that. It could stand for something else completely. Maybe he meant caraMEL.”

  “He didn’t mean that.”

  “Then it could have just been a joke, Perry. You do realize the comic squid guy isn’t actually real, don’t you? You should stop wasting your time worrying about imaginary newts and, you know, enjoy the island. No one’s going to take the salt from the water.”

  My breath popped out of my mouth as if I had been punched. I had thought that Juliet was on my side. I had thought she was a friend. Now I just thought she was being mean.

  “I’ve gotta go,” I said.

  “Perry—”

  Juliet’s words were interrupted by a knock on the back door of the Liquid Love Shack.

  When Flower opened the door, there was Mayor Lapin. He had come to congratulate her on having such a big day.

  “I love to see business booming here on Bunny Island,” he said.

  Flower invited him in, and everybody continued to drink and celebrate.

  But not me.

  I slipped away and headed back to my uncle’s house. My stomach felt like it was housing two badgers who were now fighting over a wad of meat. Juliet had bailed on me. Once again, I was my uncle’s only hope. Unless I picked up the pace, he was never going to be rescued.

  As much as I hated to do it, I started to run. I had some very important things to do and no time to waste.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  COMING THROUGH LOUD AND FEAR

  As soon as I got back to my uncle’s house, I sat down at the small red desk, took out my notepad, and quickly listed some of the latest leads.

  • Find out about the health retreat.

  • There’s a cave on the other side of the island.

  • Could ‘MEL’ stand for caraMEL?

  I paced around the living room, trying to figure out what to do next and wondering how Admiral Uli would handle this situation. I splashed some cold salt water on my face, which sometimes helps me feel more squid-like, and ate a bag of Salted Beef Chunkies. They almost didn’t tast
e good, thanks to my current worry level.

  As I swallowed my last bite, I heard banging coming from the backyard. It startled me at first, but then I remembered that Rain was going to come for more carrots. Still, I held my pen in my right hand like a weapon and grabbed the flashlight with my left.

  Looking out the small window on the back door, I couldn’t see anything but a dark garden.

  Bang! Bang!

  The noise was metallic sounding, like something pounding against tin. I saw no lights or newts, so I slowly opened the door and slipped out.

  Bang! Bang! Crash!

  “Who’s there?” I yelled out. “I’ve got a pen!”

  Bang! Crash!

  The noise was coming from the shed.

  “The bunny,” I whispered.

  I went back inside and grabbed some wheat crackers and a large glass of water.

  Bang! Bang! Bang!

  “I’m coming!” I yelled as I ran to the shed. “Hold your paws.”

  Bang! Bang!

  I slid open the door and prepared to pour water into the dish I had put in there earlier. But even with all my squid training, the bunny was faster than me.

  The rabbit sprang out of the darkness and smacked me right in the chest. I flew backward onto my butt and spilled water down my shirt. The bunny screeched and sprang into the garden.

  “Wait!” I yelled. “Come back!”

  I picked myself up and tried to find the rabbit, but there was no sign of it, and the night was too dark.

  “Soft clammy oysters!” I cursed.

  I went back inside and sat down at the desk. I turned on my uncle’s plastic whale radio, and the soft sounds of the radio station filled the room. It wasn’t my favorite music, but it was nice to have some noise in the room. I flipped through my notepad to find the code I had seen in the dirt the night before. I put my Admiral Uli tentacle spectacles back on and even tried squinting to see if that would help.

  It didn’t.

  I stared cross-eyed at the message. That didn’t work either. I held my eyes open really wide with my fingers and stared. That worked even less.

  I needed my uncle. He was a master at secret codes. He would be the perfect person to save himself, if only he was here to help me do so.

  While I was gazing at the message, my once-wide eyes began to slowly drift shut, and my head started to nod. I folded my arms and rested them on the desk. Then I laid my head on my arms to see if that felt more comfortable. I guess it did, because I fell asleep instantly.

  While I snored and drooled, the radio station signed off for the day and stopped playing music. After two low beeps, the bothersome sound of static filled the room. With my eyes still closed, I reached out and slapped the whale radio to shut it off. It tumbled from the desk and hit the floor. For a moment the room was quiet, but as I shifted my head on my folded arms, I heard static again. It hummed and popped until it was just annoying enough to make me raise my head and open my eyes.

  I blinked and glanced down at the radio on the floor. The static buzzed and hissed, and I thought I could hear some words forming in the noise.

  “Suren . . . duny . . . who . . . man.”

  I gasped and yawned at the same time, which caused me to awkwardly burp.

  The static continued to pop and hiss, and as I was reaching down to turn it off I heard the words again.

  “Suren . . . duny . . . who . . . man.”

  I had no idea what it meant. It might have been Cephalopodian or Newtian or any other language. It sort of sounded like “surrender, puny human,” which made chills shoot around my body like I was undergoing eelectric-shock therapy. After all, I was a puny human!

  I grabbed the radio and held it up to my ear.

  There was nothing but static.

  “This place is crazy,” I said, turning it off. “I must be hearing things.”

  I set the radio on the desk and decided to go sleep on a bed instead of in a desk chair. As I was standing up I heard . . .

  “Suren . . . duny . . . who . . . man.”

  I looked at the radio. It was off, but noises were still coming from it. I grabbed the wire to unplug it and saw that the wire was frayed and torn in two different spots. I reached for the outlet and pulled the plug.

  The radio fell silent.

  I sat in the chair, too scared to get up, waiting to see if the radio would speak again.

  Whap, whap, whap!!

  There was a loud banging on the front door. I was looking for a weapon or at least my pen, when Rain and Juliet came crashing into the house. They didn’t look exactly like I remembered.

  “What are you doing?” I yelled. I was still mad at Juliet for her ridiculous suggestion that I should ignore the newt threat.

  “Something’s happening, Perry,” she cried. “Something strange. Look at us.”

  Juliet had fur on her arms and legs, and her nose seemed smaller and kind of twitchy. Her green eyes were squinted, and her lips were no longer shiny. Rain was also furry, and his eyes were pulsating.

  “Thick seafood gumbo,” I said stepping back. “What’s going on?”

  “We don’t know,” Juliet wailed. “But we wanted to see if you were all right? Whatever is happening is happening to a bunch of people. Some sort of allergic reaction. Mayor Lapin is freaking out. Something is going on with our island.”

  “I know,” I shouted. “My uncle’s radio has messed-up wires, but still the static said ‘surrender, puny human.’”

  Rain gasped. “You’re a puny human!”

  “I know,” I had to admit.

  “What’s happening?” Juliet moaned. “If it’s allergies, it’s the worst case this island has ever seen. It’s like we’re all turning into—BUNNY!”

  Juliet pointed to the front window as a hairy blob broke through the glass and bounded into the room. I covered my eyes to protect them. When the sound of falling glass stopped, I dropped my hands.

  There, on the floor, shimmering in the glass dust and twitching its nose, was the very same rabbit who had gotten away earlier. The creature stood on its hind legs and made an . . . adorable expression.

  “Awww,” Juliet said. “It’s so cute!”

  “I know,” I agreed. “Maybe we should hug it.”

  “Look at its long fur,” she said. “Do you have a brush I could borrow? I need to brush it this instant.”

  “I’m more of a comb person,” I said, reminding myself that I wasn’t even supposed to be talking to Juliet.

  Rain was staring at the bunny in a sort of trance. “Let’s call him Sir Softy.”

  “Ohhhhh,” Juliet cried. “Sir Softy.”

  “Wait a second!” I said. “Don’t you see? We’re falling under some strange newt spell that makes us really, really like bunnies. The newts probably want to lull us into a dazed condition so they can begin their master plan of taking all the salt out of the ocean and going fresh. Just think of how many creatures will die if the water is changed—millions and millions of squids alone!”

  Sir Softy squeaked and wiggled its pink nose.

  “Ohhh,” Rain cooed. “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “You’re not listening—millions of squids will die. Besides, that bunny tried to attack us last night,” I reminded him. “And now it just broke through a glass window. I think it needs to be captured, not adored. I should find a net.”

  The bunny shook its head.

  “Did you see that?” I asked. “I think it’s trying to communicate.”

  “Ask it a question,” Rain said.

  “Are you telling us something?” I asked the bunny.

  It nodded its head and lifted its right paw to make a waving motion.

  “I need a camera,” Juliet insisted. “I’ve got to take some pictures.”

  “I don’t have a camera.”

  “I could try to draw a picture of it,” Rain offered.

  “Would you?” Juliet asked, clapping her hands with glee.

  Sir Softy waved h
is paw again, and I have to say, it melted my three steely squid hearts.

  “Wait,” I said. “Maybe Sir Softy’s waving because it wants us to follow him.”

  The rabbit bobbed its big furry head up and down. His ears bounced wildly, and his wide eyes looked alive and shiny.

  “You do want us to follow you?” I asked.

  More nodding.

  “Then lead the way!”

  The fat gray bunny moved to the front door, and I pushed it open. The bunny hopped out and instantly took off.

  “Come on!” I waved to Juliet and Rain.

  We all chased Sir Softy, who bounced like a big furry ball down the street and past the glass phone booth. With ten large hops, the bunny crossed the beach and was on to Rabbit Road. Dawn hadn’t come yet, but under the small lights lining the road, I could see a few locals stumbling around. Several of them seemed to have the same condition as Juliet and Rain; I spotted bunny ears and large teeth and patches of fur on arms and legs. The bunny-people were clustering in herds and emitting weird squeaking noises.

  Sir Softy almost knocked over a woman with a fuzzy face, who was hopping around and scrunching her nose.

  She squeaked meanly at us as we ran past.

  Sir Softy crossed the street and headed toward the Bunny Bumps. I was tired and more than just a little unhappy about all the outdoor running and walking I had been doing lately. Juliet and Rain seemed tired and more than just a little unhappy about having furry arms. Their running style was more awkward than mine—they were hop-scurry-skipping.

  “Are you guys all right?” I yelled. “Do you need to stop and rest?!”

  “No,” Juliet yelled back.

  “Please!”

  “No,” Rain insisted.

  When we reached the Bunny Bumps, my thighs were burning. When we reached the clearing, my thighs, legs, stomach, and butt were on fire. And when we reached the center of the clearing, Sir Softy stopped and I gladly did the same. I bent over and put my hands on my knees while taking in big gulps of warm, salty island air.

  “Why are we here?” Juliet asked in confusion.

  I just kept taking big breaths.

  “I feel really uncool right now,” Rain said with concern. “I think karma’s getting me back for all the stuff I’ve done. I mean, something’s really happening to me.”