Unlovable

It was evident he wasn’t giving up. “Alright. Thanks.” I had no choice. I stuffed my hands back into my pockets and walked on.

  He didn’t say anything until we approached my trailer. “Truth be told, I was hoping for a goodnight kiss, you know, after the park and everything.”

  I ignored him and increased my pace again. After a few more steps, I had a small brainstorm and sallied around with a smug expression. “Sorry, it’s not cold enough to kiss you.”

  He looked puzzled. “Okay, you’ve lost me. What does the cold have to do with you kissing me?”

  “Simple, the river Phlegethon will have to freeze over before I’ll ever kiss you again.” Dr. Bore would be proud of my mythology reference. Seth just threw his head back and laughed. “I’m glad you think that’s funny.”

  He gently, but firmly, took my chin in his hand. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”

  He did not just misquote Shakespeare to me!

  “I watched you taste my kiss back at the park, Maggie. You enjoyed it as much as I did. You know it and I know it.” His voice rumbled soft, low, and yummy. I yanked my head free and walked up the small path to my porch.

  “Sooner or later, Maggie, our lips will meet again. Personally, I’m voting for sooner.”

  I wheeled around, almost losing my balance. “Why do guys like you think every girl wants to make out with them? I don’t get it.”

  The playful grin had vanished from his face. “I didn’t ask you to make out, Maggie. Goodnight.” A twist of guilt clutched at my belly as he walked away.

  Safely inside my house, I slithered down the closed door, burying my face in my hands. There was no need to be cruel. My mother was right, I was an unlovable nothing.

  “You’re back?” It shocked me to find my mother still awake. Her voice carried a strange tone, it was probably disappointment that I’d returned.

  “Yes.” Thankfully, the lights were still off. I didn’t want to explain to her why my face was flushed.

  “Go to bed! You have school tomorrow.”

  Geez, my mother picked the strangest times to go parental on me.

  I forced my weary body up and headed toward the bathroom fully intending to wash off Seth’s kisses and forget the whole night had ever happened. I marched down the hall, past the bathroom, and went straight into my room, dropping onto my bed. My mind wouldn’t stop thinking about him. I ran my fingertips over my lips, remembering.

  “Stop!” I rolled over, forcing myself to sleep. Sorry to say, it didn’t end my thoughts of Seth. He stayed front and center in my dreams. I gladly welcomed the hideous sound of the alarm clock the next morning.

  4

  Seth

  “Here’s the artist rending of the man who attacked Michelle Stringer.” Booker placed the drawing on my desk as I ate my breakfast; a bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios. “Hmm, looks tasty, kid,” he said dryly.

  “It’s not as if I have all the time in the world to make a hot breakfast. I have to get to school and do my job, unlike some of us.” I frowned down at the soggy O’s. Man, I’ll be glad when this assignment’s over.

  “Someday you’ll be in charge of your own team, and you can call the shots.” He set a mug down next to my bowl. “To show you my heart’s in the right place, I made you some of my famous hot chocolate.”

  I inhaled the sweet chocolaty steam escaping from the cup. “Formula number seven?”

  “Would I bring you anything less?” He sat down and propped his black hard-soled shoes on the corner of my desk, beaming as I savored the warm liquid.

  “Are you ready to share the secret ingredient with me?” I asked between sips.

  “Nope.” His grin broadened. “So does the drawing look like the guy from the park last night?” he asked, pointing to the picture.

  I studied the man’s face. “It’s hard to tell, it was pretty dark, and he was alone. Didn’t Ms. Stringer state there were two of them?”

  “Yes, but that doesn’t mean they can’t do a little business alone.” He had a point. The drug community had no problem stabbing each other in the back.

  “You watched this guy walking throughout the park, but didn’t witness any drug deals going down?”

  “None.” I laughed. “However, most of the people in the park last night weren’t exactly looking to score. Well, not drugs anyway. There was a whole lot of making-out going on.

  “Once he spotted Maggie, his demeanor changed. He stayed hidden in the trees, as if he was tracking a defenseless animal, and he kept licking his lips.” Repulsed, I shoved my breakfast away.

  “I worked my way over toward him just as he got a phone call. He was angry and kept telling whoever it was, no, and that he was in charge, all the while watching Maggie.”

  I got up and walked over to the window, resting my arm on the sill. “He said there was this hot girl who was all alone and that he was a man with needs.” My jaw tightened. “He kept smiling and scratching himself.”

  Booker walked over and patted my shoulders. “She’s okay, Seth. You saw to that.” I nodded and took a deep breath to calm my gut.

  “I should have arrested him.”

  “On what charges? Gawking at a cute girl?” Booker laughed. “I would have had to charge you too. I’m sure you were doing some pretty heavy gawking yourself at Ms. Brown.”

  “I can guarantee you my thoughts weren’t lascivious. All I wanted was to talk to her. He, on the other hand...”

  “I have no doubt your thoughts were pure, Son of a Preacher Man,” Booker said, walking back over to my desk. My dad served in the Air force as a Chaplin, among other things, and Booker was forever singing the old Dusty Springfield song to me as we were growing up. “This guy was probably some loser guy hoping to score. No need getting uptight over nothing.

  I knew Booker was trying to downplay the incident. Until we had any evidence proving otherwise, he saw no need for me to tie myself up in knots. Vintage Booker. Out to save the world.

  “Which reminds me,” I narrowed my eyes at him, “it’s not working.”

  “What’s not working?”

  “The scheme you had to, how did you put it? Win the lady's heart. Cheesy, Booker, even for you.”

  “So what’s not working? You must be doing it wrong,” he said playfully.

  “You said to make her laugh, make her the nervous one. Well, she doesn’t laugh at my jokes, instead they seem to put her on edge. Although, I do believe she’s nervous. She has this cute habit of twisting her hair around her fin—” I looked over at Booker. His chest was bouncing with laughter. I smiled. “I did kiss her last night,” I admitted. “Twice, actually.”

  “See. I hate to say I told you so,” he glowed proudly.

  “But she got mad after I did.”

  “You must be a pretty rotten kisser. Did she kiss you back, or was she cringing the whole time?”

  “I kiss just fine, thank you very much. And yes, she kissed me back. Actually, she kissed me first,” I bragged. “But I don’t think she’s interested in having a boyfriend. Maybe I should try being her friend.”

  “No, no, no. You’re making real progress, kid. You need to—”

  Thankfully, a knock on my office door brought Booker’s love advice to a premature end. In walked a lanky blond woman in an MET uniform with a sheet of paper in her right hand.

  “Hey, Connie. What’s up?”

  “Captain, you said you wanted to be notified if another stabbing occurred with the same MO as Michelle Stringer.” Booker nodded slowly. “A 24 year-old female identified as Tammy Byrne was found shortly after two A.M. this morning behind some empty buildings near Applegate Park. She had several knife wounds almost identical to those of Ms. Stringer. She didn’t survive, Captain.”

  “Was she raped?”

  “It’s hard to tell, the body’s a mess, but the forensic team doesn’t believe so. Sir, the woman who discovered the body is a reporter for The Democrat and Chronicle. She and a staff photographer were there doing an exposé on the growing
drug scene at Applegate park. It’s already hit the morning papers.”

  She handed the report over to Booker along with a small plastic bag. “This was found under the body. We couldn’t get any fingerprints off it, we’re not even sure it’s part of the crime scene, but I thought you might want to see it.”

  “Thanks, Connie.” Booker closed the door as he read over the paper.

  “What’s in the bag?”

  Booker twisted the baggy with his fingers, quickly pulling the small notebook from his left breast pocket. “I believe the guy who attacked Michelle Stringer had a silver disk in his right ear lobe,” he said, thumbing through his notes.

  “A silver disk?” I took the evidence bag from Booker. “The guy in the park last night wore a silver disk.” I shoved it back into Booker’s hands and stumbled over to my pleather chair, all but falling into the cold seat. Dropping my elbows on the desk, I buried my face in my hands.

  “Book! If I hadn’t hung around the park after the stakeout…”

  “I know, kid, I know. Look, you had better get to the school. I’ll talk with the team and head over to the crime scene, see if I can find anything.”

  “I’m going with you.” I said, burning my throat as I downed the last of my hot chocolate.

  “Seth, you’ll be late for sc–”

  “I’m not going! This murder is part of the assignment too!”

  “Maybe. This could be some random killer. We don’t know for sure if he’s part of the drug investigation.”

  “So why are you following up on it? Why aren’t you letting the local cops handle this?” I had him there, and he knew it.

  “Okay, fine,” he said, slipping the disk into his pocket. “Once this murder hits the school, there’s going to be lots of talk. I want you and the team all ears for the rest of the day.”

  “If we finish this before school ends, I’ll go. The other three agents can keep their ears open.”

  “Seth, don’t you think Maggie is going to need someone to lean on when she hears about this?”

  I hadn’t thought about how she was going to react. She was probably going to take it hard. “Let’s get going so I can make it back in time for class.” I jumped up, snagged my jacket from the top of the filing cabinet and rushed for the door.

  “I suppose when we’re done I’ll have to write a note for the principal explaining why little Sethy was late for school today,” Booker said, to which I gave him an elbow to the ribs.

  “Oof!” He laughed, rubbing the spot.

  I was the first one out of the car and was taken aback by the size of the crime scene. Tammy Byrne must have put up a good fight. Booker checked in with the lead detective on the case.

  “Detective Michaels,” he said, greeting him with a handshake. My palms were sweaty so I nodded to him instead. “I read your preliminary report. Have you learned anything new?”

  “Only that the victim wasn’t raped,” Michaels said, showing Booker the preliminary autopsy. “Her face wasn’t touched, but her body was a mess. They weren’t random cuttings either, Captain. This guy knows his way around anatomy.”

  “Like a doctor, maybe?” I asked, though I couldn’t imagine someone who’d spent years in medical school throwing it all away to be a murderer.

  “Not necessarily. My old man was a farmer, and we butchered our own cows, chickens too, for that matter. These cuttings were precise, but crude, not skillful like a surgeon’s. Maybe the perpetrator’s a farmer, or a butcher.”

  “Good call. I’ll run a check and see if there are any local farmers or butchers with a violent record,” Booker said. “Let me know if any new leads turn up. We’re going to look around.”

  We passed under the yellow police tape and began searching the area, finding nothing new. I couldn’t believe the amount of blood there was everywhere, and I prayed the slime ball had cut the poor victim up postmortem, otherwise, Ms. Byrne suffered tremendously.

  I tried to keep Maggie out of my thoughts, but it was tough. It could very easily have been her blood we were sifting through. She could have been the one–

  “Hey, sit down before you pass out.” Booker took my arm, steering me over to a couple of dented trashcans.

  “I know you want to be here, Seth, but I think you should head over to the school. I don’t need you fainting onto potential evidence.” I nodded weakly.

  Wiping my damp hands off onto my jeans, Booker arranged for a patrol car to take me back to the station for my car. He was right. I was useless here. I needed to be at the school, I needed to see Maggie.

  5

  Maggie

  Stepping out of the shower, I gasped at my naked reflection in the glass door. The bathroom scale confirmed my fears; my body had whittled down to 90 pounds. My body resembled a boy’s far more than it resembled a girl’s. The bones between my breasts protruded out so effortlessly you could easily count each rib. It was no wonder everyone kept commenting on my baggy clothes. Repulsive! Kicking the shower door shut, I tucked a towel around me and went to dress.

  I decided to wear my one decent blouse and the jeans I saved for special occasions, not that there were many of those in my life. Though probably a bit fancy for school, no one would be mistaking me for a boy today, despite my lack of curves. I laid the outfit out carefully on my bed and went to the closet for the pair of tan closed-toed pumps given to me by a neighbor. She’d fallen and broken her arm while wearing them, and afraid of meeting the same fate, I hadn’t worn them yet. Today, I decided I was going to be brave. I could be as pretty as Hillary. Possibly.

  After fifteen minutes of working on my hair, I gave up. I mean seriously, how do you fix flat and dull? I gathered it up into my usual ponytail, letting it fall lifelessly down the center of my back and hurried into my room. While slipping the cream-colored blouse on over a white tee shirt, I noticed there was a button missing so I weaved a safety pin into place on the underside. Next, I pulled on my jeans; they were huge. I’d lost so much weight since last wearing them, they hung dangerously low on my hips, with an all too easy tug they’d fall to the floor. I dug out an old frayed belt my mother used to wear when I was a kid and slipped it through the belt loops hoping my shirt was long enough to cover it.

  The mirror verified my thoughts; if Hillary were trailer trash, you couldn’t tell us apart. How completely depressing! With no time left to change, I strapped on the pumps, at least they looked nice, tugged on my sweater and ran out the door.

  “Well, hello, little guy.” On my doorstep sat a small furry dog who was nothing more than a tan and brown fur-ball with the sweetest brown eyes I’d ever seen. He began jumping around and wagging his tail feverishly. I bent down to let him sniff my hand, which he licked, a good sign, and I picked him up. He lapped away at my face as I searched his tattered collar for a dog tag. I’d remembered seeing him once before running free around the park.

  “Okay, little guy, calm down.” I couldn’t help but giggle as he continued to bounce in my arms. “Where do you live?” He answered with the cutest little soprano bark I’ve ever heard. “Sorry, cutie, I have to go to school.” I gave him a hug and put him back down, and he promptly began following me to the corner.

  “No.” I stomped my foot hoping to deter him. He perked up his ears and tilted his head sideways at me as if to ask why he couldn’t follow.

  “The street is too busy down here, you might get run over.” He barked and trotted back toward my trailer. I chortled and hurried off to school making sure to take a different route, not wanting to chance running into Seth. The embarrassing park-kissing incident was still foremost in my mind.

  I was able to avoid him all morning, and at lunchtime, my luck was still holding out, no Seth sightings yet. I debated whether to go and eat in the library, but if the librarian caught me, it would mean a six-week ban from the place. Quietly entering the cafeteria, I took a seat in the back corner and pulled out my half-sandwich, groaning silently as Melody made a beeline toward me.

  “Don’t y
ou live over by the Applegate Park?” I nodded slowly. She smiled and dropped the local newspaper, The Democrat and Chronicle, onto the table in front of me.

  Local woman found dead near Applegate Park.

  Local resident and college student Tammy Byrne was found brutally stabbed to death behind an abandoned building near Applegate Park shortly after two A.M. this morning. Friends last saw Ms. Byrne as she made her way home taking her usual route through the park around midnight. A witness reported seeing a man dressed in black wandering throughout the area all evening, but said he disappeared around the same time as Byrne.

  The family has issued the following statement: ’Tammy was a beautiful, bright, young woman who had dedicated her life to helping others. We are asking anyone with information that could assist the police in capturing the evil person or persons responsible for stealing our daughter’s life away to please come forward.’

  People in the area are being advised to use caution when going into the park after dark.

  “Can you believe it? Someone was killed within a few blocks of your house last night. Freaky, huh?” Melody reread the words aloud over my shoulder, smiling. Waves of nausea rolled through me as my hands fisted around the newspaper. It felt like the breath had been stolen from my chest. It should have been me, if Seth hadn’t shown up when he did it would have been.

  “Sorry, Melody. I have to … go … do something.” My brain was no more than a mass of incoherent thoughts.

  “You look like you’re going to be sick. What’s wrong?” I ignored her, running out into the hall. I had no idea where to go, I just needed to be out of the crowded cafeteria. I ran down the hall and right into Seth.

  “Are you alright?” He held tight to my shoulders, a good thing too since it was the only thing keeping me from hitting the floor. “I’m guessing you’ve heard about the Tammy Byrne murder?” I stared at him wide-eyed, unable to speak. “Maggie, you’re okay. Take a slow deep breath. Maggie, take a deep …” I heard nothing else, it was as though I were sinking through mud, when suddenly, something strong and warm pulled me out. Seth. I laid my forehead on his chest, his wonderfully muscular chest.