Project Spiralbound

student!” he added in protest.

  “I know,” was all John could say.

  “So you DO think I’m one of the dumb ones that make our school look bad?” Jason leaned forward with his eyebrows furrowed.

  John stared down at his lap. He mumbled defiantly, “How would I know? I don’t even know you.”

  “Would you like to get to know me?” Jason’s tone suddenly became friendlier and he scooted his chair closer to John.

  “Huh?” John was taken aback, surprised by the bizarre behavior, the corny question. I hope he’s not coming on to me, he thought completely turned off. I’m not a homosexual!

  “See, here’s what I think. I think you’re very judgmental.” Jason spoke honestly and frankly.

  John did not like being told that something was wrong with him and mentally prepared for his rebuttal.

  “If you were more social, you wouldn’t be so judgmental. I know you’re not social because of the questionnaire-”

  “And here’s what I think,” John leaned in closer to Jason. “I think that you really aren’t smart enough or attentive enough to understand what I wrote. It’s beyond you. It went right over your head.” John got up and pushed his chair into the table. He continued as he walked toward the door. “I think you need to have a second read rather than just scanning over it like you just did. I’ll give you until our next meeting on Friday, that’s five whole days, to absorb what I’m saying. See you then.” John punctuated his farewell by slamming the door.

  Jason faced the mirror, grinning and giving a thumbs up.

  He mouthed to the two-way mirror, “Good.”

  John slammed his bedroom door shut and plopped down on his bed. His psyche swirled with mixed emotions. He was glad that he told Jason off and left before he could respond but he was pissed off that Jason dared to demean him and his writing, which John was still convinced was an amazing piece of work. A masterpiece, really. John doubted that Jason would or could understand what was written in his manifesto.

  “What’s the point of going next week?” John thought. “I don’t see where this is going. They haven’t exactly been upfront about this project. Project Spiralbound? What the hell does that mean? Spiralbound? Like a notebook? Idiots…”

  Then, he remembered when Hank showed up at his door only a few minutes after 6 PM. John found it to be startling and a bit obsessive. There were a dozen other students they had selected. Was it really that important if one went AWOL? Maybe he would contact them and officially resign himself. But then he realized they did not give him a phone number to call or any other means of contact. Other than his knowing where the research took place, he did not know anything. Having Hank show up at his room made him so uneasy, so it was unimaginable how he would feel if Jason showed up at his room.

  This whole situation was agonizing. He regretted ever finding the research guinea pig announcement. John thought about something he wrote in his manifesto under the heading of SOCIAL CONDITIONING:

  We are brought up with silly ideas of ethics and moralities but those things can only truly exist in a religious framework. What is right and wrong? Good and evil? There is no logical reason as to why morality or ethics should be followed so I hope to deprogram myself, but it is very hard. I try to put myself first, although most people are brought up to put others before you. Why? It’s pointless. Life is survival of the fittest and one must lookout for oneself. Also, manners are taught as an etiquette but the only logical reason I see for manners is if it can be used for your benefit. If not, toss it. You’re wasting your time. The reader may think that I am a sociopath but even that I take offense to. These labels that psychologists and psychiatrists create to put people into neat little groups so they can have their way with them.

  And it goes on and on for two pages.

  “I don’t have to be courteous to these jerks,” John thought. “They haven’t been very thoughtful towards me. That’s for sure!”

  The week went by and John was buried in studies, so much so that he forgot about Project Spiralbound. Late Friday afternoon, around 7 PM, a loud knocking on his door startled him out of his Calculus textbook. Flustered, John got up with fists clenched and swung the door open angrily.

  It was Hank. John looked at the clock on his wall.

  “It’s Friday already?”

  “Yes.” Hank answered, bored.

  “Where’s Jason?” John peered around the small hallway. No one but Hank.

  “At Dunn Hall, waiting for you.”

  “Oh, about that…” John’s voice trailed off. He clammed up. He told himself he wouldn’t, but he did. Just tell them you quit, he argued with himself.

  “Well, grab your coat! Hurry.” Hank beckoned him out.

  John obeyed, defeated.

  The walk to Dunn Hall was again an awkward one. John tossed around different put downs in his head. Different excuses as to why he decided to back out of the project. “You better not wimp out,” he scolded himself. Hank seemed lost in his own thought. He was less friendly than before, more distant. Almost uncaring. Like a messenger fetching a parcel. “Good,” John thought. “Keep your distance. That way you’ll be less emotional, less upset when I announce my resignation. You’ll be less involved.”

  Jason sat tapping his fingers on the tabletop. He did not greet John, just watched him as he walked into the room, followed by Hank. Hank disappeared without a word into the second door and locked it behind him.

  Jason stared at John.

  “What’s in there?” John pointed at the second door. He had wondered this from the first moment this door was opened, but never brought it up until now.

  Jason looked at the mirror, then back at John.

  “That’s not important.” Jason snapped with an attitude.

  John decided not to have mercy with this rude Jason character. “I’m dropping out of this... experiment or project or whatever you call it,” John announced hurriedly in a shaky voice. He regretted how anxiety-ridden he sounded. He wished he had sounded more in-charge, more intimidating.

  Jason leaned far back in his chair and put his feet up on the table, placing his hands behind his head. He started to laugh.

  “What?”

  “I didn’t realize you were a quitter.” Jason made fun of him.

  John fired back, “No, I just don’t like to waste my time. Plus, you owe me for the three days I HAVE been here.”

  Jason swung his feet off the table and leaned forward, looking intently at John. “Well, apparently you didn’t read the fine print.”

  “What fine print?”

  “On the notice slip. You have to show up every day for the full two hours for as long as this project is running. Then and only then will you get paid!” Jason seemed satisfied with bursting John’s inflated bubble.

  John lunged without warning over the table and grabbed Jason’s collar. “There IS no small print on the notice slip, you cheat! You better pay me or I’ll… I’ll…”

  Angry tears welled up in John’s eyes. Jason held his hands up speechless.

  “I quit!” John reiterated as he stormed out, slamming the door as hard as he possibly could behind him.

  He was owed about $60 and felt embarrassed at the outburst over the small sum of money. Or at least, small sum to his peers. To him that was equivalent to a jackpot.

  Jason straightened out his shirt and turned to the mirror. “Did you get that?” he asked excitedly.

  Hank stuck his head out the second door, “Yeah! Wow, haha!”

  Jason clapped his hands once, loudly. “Good!”

  John wiped the tears from his eyes as he rushed back to his dorm room. Humiliated and defeated he collapsed onto the bed and punched his pillow. “Don’t cry,” he commanded himself. “No tears. They’ll pay for this.”

  The following week John missed every single one of his classes. He paced his room and talked to himself. Food did not appeal to him as his stomach boiled and turned over. It wasn’t even about the money anymore. It was about h
is dignity, which has been stripped. Pulled out from under him like a rug. Revenge was on his mind and he would not fail.

  Jason and Hank sat in Dunn Hall’s room 114 with a Dr. Heinrich Mueller discussing Project Spiralbound.

  “I’d say Project Spiralbound has gotten off on a good foot,” Hank spoke confidently.

  “So who are you looking at now? What’s interesting so far?” the doctor questioned the two grad students.

  Hank spoke for the both of them, “There’s this one, John, code name Upright. He’s a real smart cookie and he knows it. Real cocky too.”

  Jason laughed, “Yeah. You should have seen him yesterday.”

  “Yeah, it’s all on tape.” Hank reminded Jason.

  “Oh yeah, anyway, he jumped over the desk and grabbed me! We started arguing and then BOOM! He was up on the table, pissed!”

  Doctor Mueller nodded. “Hmmmm. Interesting.”

  “Yeah, but the problem now is, he says he quits. Sounds like he won’t be coming back. And this is all useless if we can’t continue with him.” Hank was hoping the doctor could give them some advice or guidance.

  “Mmm hmm I see.” Doctor Mueller nodded and sat in a contemplative pose, hand under chin.

  Jason and Hank looked at each other, then to the doctor, their supervisor, waiting for an answer.

  “Well, this is your project and I can’t tell you what to do,” Dr. Mueller finally spoke. “But I advise you to do what you need to to get him back on your side, to continue with the project.” He stood up with a grumble.

  He added, “This sounds promising.