Life Sucks

Josh jerked awake, surprised to come back to consciousness at all, much less to do it without any pain. He sat straight up, not worrying about his plethora of injuries. He was on a sofa in a sophisticated living room. The room had high ceilings, making it look even larger. The far wall had three tall windows that curved outward. Thick, elegant curtains obscured the light, matching the carpets. Across from Josh was a large fireplace, merrily crackling. Each piece of furniture looked to cost more than he could make in five years.

  Josh glanced down at his bloodstained clothing and realized someone had placed a thick blanket under him, to help protect the furniture. He ran a hand experimentally across his stomach, not finding a single sensitive spot. His hand climbed up to his head, and though his hair was matted and crusty, his skull felt to be intact. From the back of his head, his hand traveled to his face. Josh suddenly realized his glasses were missing, and slowly remembered that the soldiers had broken them during the fight.

  How then can I see? he wondered as he looked around the room again.

  Just as he had thought, his vision was even better than when he wore his glasses. Josh swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

  From where he sat, he heard the honking, shouting road noise of downtown New York, though the view from the window was masked by the curtains. Wherever he was, he was still in the city.

  His mother! She would be worried sick about it him.

  Before he could worry any more about his mother, the door opened and the dame from the club appeared. She was wearing a white blouse, a flared skirt of navy blue, and a matching scarf around her neck. She smiled invitingly.

  “You’re awake,” she said as she proceeded into the room.

  The strange woman crossed the room and sat in one of the accent chairs.

  “I’m sure you have some questions for me.”

  “Where am I?” Josh asked, glancing around the room again.

  “In my apartment. Central Park West.”

  “How’d I get here?”

  “I brought you here. You needed time to heal,” she said, glancing at his tattered tuxedo.

  Josh looked down at his chest. “How long have I been here?”

  “A little over a day.”

  Josh suddenly realized this should have been his first question: “H-h-how am I alive?”

  The woman’s smile wavered. “Technically speaking, you’re not alive.”

  “Am I in heaven?”

  The woman snickered. “No. Same old New York. Only you are different. This is going to come as a shock, and I doubt you’ll believe me, but I turned you into a vampire… to sa…”

  She never got the chance to finish. Josh burst into laughter, rudely interrupting her explanation.

  “You’re joking, right?” he asked as he wiped tears from his eyes.

  “No. I realize it is hard to believe, but how else could you be upright and talking to me. You were on the verge of death when I found you.”

  Josh didn’t know how to respond. His hand travelled over his body again, checking all the places he knew he should have ghastly wounds, but each place was perfectly fine. Josh forced another laugh from his lips.

  “Been reading too much Bram Stoker, ma’am?”

  The woman smiled tightly, as though she had heard the joke before.

  “How ‘bout I lead you to the washroom. Let you get cleaned up. Then we’ll talk again.”

  Josh nodded.

  Thirty minutes later, he returned to her living room, dressed in the men’s clothing she had laid out for him. He had been required to role the legs of the jeans, but the shirt fit well enough. He felt better getting all the blood and grime off, and as she had predicted, he found no wounds. He couldn’t even find scars where he knew the skin had been broken by the men’s fists.

  “Feeling better?” the woman asked as she guided him back to the couch.

  She had removed the thick blanket to reveal a floral patterned couch. He sat on it, feeling uncomfortable.

  “Yes, thank you.”

  “I’m Nellie,” she said, as though she understood his thoughts.

  “Joshua Franklin.”

  “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Franklin.”

  They were silent for a moment before Josh forced himself to broach the difficult subject.

  “You’re right. I don’t seem to be injured in the least. But… but a vampire?”

  “Tell me,” Nellie asked him suddenly, “can you hear into my neighbor’s apartment?”

  Josh chuckled, wondering how in the world she thought he would be able to do that, but all of the sudden he began to hear other voices. They were softer than Nellie’s, but only soft enough to suggest they were being spoken by discreet whisperers in the same room. Josh glanced around, confirming that he and Nellie were alone.

  “Two men are discussing a radio program. The Gang Busters?” Josh asked, recognizing the popular dramatic radio program playing in the background.

  Nellie nodded.

  “And above us?”

  Josh glanced up at the ceiling, as though it would help him distinguish the numerous voices he was now aware of. “A woman is vacuuming and singing… Jambalaya… eww. That’s a new key.”

  Nellie laughed, nodding again.

  “Do you really think you’d be able to do that if you were human?”

  Josh patted the legs of his trousers as his disbelief fractured. No. She couldn’t be right!

  “Thank you, Miss Nellie, for your hospitality. But I really must get home. My mother will be worried.”

  Nellie was on her feet and standing in front of him in the blink of an eye.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Franklin, but I cannot allow you to return to your mother. You are a danger to humans.”

  “What are you talking about?” Josh demanded.

  “Vampires drink blood, Mr. Franklin. Your mother has blood in her veins. As a new vampire, you don’t have the control to be safe around them. Do you really want to kill your mother?”

  Josh glared at the woman. She was being ridiculous. He would never hurt his mother, annoying as she might be.

  “I. Am. Going. Home,” he said slowly, carefully brushing past the woman.

  Before he could take half a step, the woman had him by the arm, bending it up behind his back.

  “Mr. Franklin, I’m truly sorry this happened to you,” she said over his growing protests. “But you cannot go out until you gain some control.”

  How could she possibly be this strong? he thought as he struggled against her grasp.

  “Please calm down. It will all make sense in time.”

  After a long struggle, he collapsed back on the couch, feeling a new level of shame. Josh leaned his head into his hands and grabbed fists full of his damp hair. He had reached a new low: bested by a woman.

  “Ruth,” called Nellie. “Please bring in the refreshments.”

  An African-American woman entered, dressed in a smart maid’s uniform and carrying a silver tray. Even from across the room, Josh could smell the sweet scent of the drinks she carried. Nellie handed him a tall glass of red liquid. Forgetting his manners, Josh gulped the entire glass and licked his lips. He opened his eyes to find Nellie already holding out the second glass for him. He traded her glasses and drank the second one just as quickly.

  All of the sudden, Josh felt a sharp pain in his gums. He dropped the glass in his shock, barely noticing Nellie’s fast reflexes. Josh fell to the ground, his hands pressed against his hurting gums. He slipped his finger into his mouth and sliced his finger open on his own teeth.

  “Ruth, you better leave,” he heard Nellie say.

  Before he knew what he was about, he climbed to his feet and rushed at the maid. Nellie was faster though, and easily slipped her arms around his waist, giving Ruth time to flee into the kitchen.

  “Let me go!” Josh growled.

  “Breathe through your mouth,” Nellie ordered.

  Josh did so, not really certain why he was obeying her.
r />   “Again.”

  Josh breathed through his mouth again. Slowly, the haze of desire cleared from his mind and he began to breathe more steadily.

  “Better?” Nellie asked.

  Josh nodded slowly. “What just happened?”

  “You experienced blood lust for the first time.”

  He held up his cut finger and watched the short slice close and the scar fade away before his eyes. Josh glanced around, spotted a gilded mirror hanging on the wall, and crossed to it. He opened his mouth and stared at the long fangs pressing against his lower lip.

  Wide-eyed, he turned to look at Nellie.

  “This is real?”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  “Why has this happened to me?” moaned Josh as he returned to the couch and collapsed, his head in his hands again.

  “You were going to die. If I hadn’t done this, you would be dead now.”

  “But those men…” Josh trailed off, not really sure what he was saying. “They were soldiers. Sworn to protect.”

  “Remember, Mr. Franklin, there are bullies in every facet of humanity. Most soldiers, a vast majority of them, take that oath very seriously. But some of them are just average Joes, forced from their home, to fight an enemy that is no more real to them than a vampire was to you twenty minutes ago. Most of these men are frightened, and when they see a man not fighting, they jump to conclusions.”

  “Are you vindicating what they did to me?”

  “Not in the slightest. But you are about to begin a very, very long life, and during that life you are going to encounter all types of people, most of them not very nice. It will be up to you to decide how you will respond to them. Now you are strong and fast and nearly indestructible. Will you find those men and seek revenge for what they have done to you? Or will you turn the other cheek, as the Good Book says?”

  Josh found himself grinding his teeth together. He very much wanted to go after those thugs and teach them a lesson, but his mother had raised him better than that. Finally, he let out a gusty sigh.

  “No. I won’t find them. What’s done is done.”

  Nellie smiled.

  “Now, Mr. Franklin,” began Nellie.

  “Please, call me Josh,” he interrupted again.

  “As you wish. Josh, you have a lot of tough choices to make.”

  “Such as?”

  “Well, learning to be a safe vampire, safe around humans that is, is not an easy task, and one you cannot learn by yourself.”

  “Meaning?”

  Nellie blushed slightly, her porcelain cheeks glowing a pretty shade of pink. Josh felt his own cheeks burn with his own blush as an ungentlemanly thought crossed his mind.

  “Traditionally, a new vampire stays with the one who created him until he is safe to be on his own.”

  “What do you mean by stay? As in live with you? Oh I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

  “You wouldn’t be. I knew what I was getting into when I turned you. I have an extra bedroom.”

  At that moment, the little Cuckoo clock chimed, its tiny bird popping out and chirping five times.

  “What time is it?” asked Josh, standing up and glancing towards the drawn curtains.

  “Five o’clock,” Nellie said though he could easily see the hands on the little clock.

  “I have to go. I have a gig tonight.”

  Nellie reached up and grabbed his arm before he could move. “I’ve already told you, you can’t be around humans right now. Your blood lust would overpower you and you’d end up killing everyone.”

  “I’m sure I can handle it.”

  “You tried to kill my maid just moments ago

  !. How will you handle a room crowded with excited people, their heartbeats accelerated?”

  “I have to work. I have to pay for my mother’s apartment. Besides, if I am to lodge here, surely you would like to me to make some contribution to the cost of living.”

  “That won’t be necessary. I’m well taken care of.”

  “But my mother…”

  “We can see that money is sent to her every month to help.”

  “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

  “You never did,” said Nellie with the sweetest smile he had ever seen.

  “What’s going to happen to me? I can’t live on your charity forever.”

  “And you won’t have to. Before you know it, you will be in complete control and able to find a job… a night job… and live life very nearly like a normal person.”

  “Will I ever play again?”

  A long sigh escaped her rosy lips. “We live forever, never aging. If you were to play, and become noticed by the music world, it would be very easy for the humans to realize something was off about you. We vampires have an eternity to perfect our crafts, but we don’t have the freedom to share them with the human race.”

  Josh felt as though someone had dropped the atomic bomb on his stomach. He would never be able to play for an audience every again. Josh had to remind himself that the drive he once felt to “perfect his craft” had long been slipping away. Music would just have to be for his ears and heart now.

  Finally, he nodded.

  “You’ll stay?” asked Nellie excitedly.

  Josh nodded again.

  “I’m ever so glad to hear it.”