Beautiful Oblivion

  “I need her,” I whisper as I head into the bridge.

  I drive into the protective covering of that old rundown scaffolding and park the Cougar before hoping out. Reese does the same.

  “You forget your way to Loveless?” She runs at me a million miles an hour, jumps up and wraps her legs around my waist.

  “Nope. Just wanted to do this one more time.” I bring her in by the back of the neck and kiss her hard. I sit her on the hood of the Cougar, and we break our record for longest lip-lock these past two weeks. Reese’s kisses have the power to thrill me, kill me—same difference. They make me want to do insane things like tell her I love her right here, right now.

  “Reese.” I pull back and take in her beauty—her pale shining eyes that smile just for me. “What had you so upset back there?” Maybe if she goes there first—if she even hints at it, I’ll take it and run with it.

  “I don’t know.” Her voice dips down and marinates in grief. “I think—um…you make me happy.” Her lips tremble as she says it.

  “I think you make me happy, too.” This is good. We’re definitely headed in the right direction.

  “Really?” Her entire body relaxes as she breaks out into an easy smile.

  “Hell, yes. You’re amazing, Reese. I wish we never had to leave.” My heart thumps hard against my chest because I just laid it out on the line. “What we shared was beautiful.”

  Her gaze dips to my waist. “We can still steal moments.” She reaches into my shorts and gently holds me in her hand until I’m growing again. “In fact, we can steal a moment, right now.”

  “I like where you’re going,” I say, lifting her skirt past her hips and finding that sweet, dark triangle staring back at me. “You seem to be lacking in the undergarment department.” I bury a smile in my cheek.

  “Are you complaining?” She pulls me in by the shirt as I dig for the lone condom I stuffed in my pocket.

  “Nope. Not me. Just pointing it out in the event you weren’t aware.”

  “It’s all your fault.” She lowers her lids, drawing me closer. “Besides, you have a way of disintegrating my panties with just one look.”

  “Is that right?” I graze my teeth over her cheek before holding up the small foil wrapper. “Last one.”

  “Really?” She snatches it from me and tears it open with her teeth. “I’d hate for it to feel neglected.” She rolls it over me, her eyes never leaving mine. Reese has gone from virginal to a seasoned seductress in less than two weeks. She reaches down and runs her fingers over my balls until I groan.

  “All right.” I push in nice and slow. “Now you’re asking for it.”

  “I am asking for it. Fuck me, Ace,” she laughs as she says it, and her voice echoes across the bridge.

  “Only because you asked so politely.” I pull her in by the face and kiss her sweetly, rocking into her, loving her with everything I can.

  Reese and I make that Cougar bounce as she pants her way to oblivion.

  “Ace,” she cries out and her voice replays itself, refining its passion inside Wilson Bridge like a boomerang.

  “Someone’s going to hear you.” I’m only half-teasing. We’re not that far from Loveless, and any moment now I expect a car to come whipping through.

  “I want them to hear me.” She bubbles the words out. I reach down and touch her scalding hot flesh until she’s screaming my name out at the top of her lungs.

  Maybe Reese is ready to take this relationship to the next level. Maybe before the summer is through we’ll go from the best kept secret to the best new relationship.

  Reese collapses over my shoulders and hangs on for dear life as I throb into her. She breathes hard in my ear, her body still seizing and trembling. Her arms are locked over me, and there’s no way in hell I’m letting go first.

  The sun sets, turning the sky that magical shade of lavender that only twilight can bring. Loveless—the world outside this covered bridge—it all looks different now that Reese and I have crossed that threshold. We had walked so easily into an alternate realm that we failed to realize we’d have to walk through a fire to get ourselves out. Not that I want out, but fall is just around the corner and that’s when summer flings tend to come crashing to an end.

  “Do we really have to go back?” she whispers.

  “There’s no reason not to.”

  “There’s every reason not to.”

  And for the first time, it feels like I’m Reese Westfield’s dirty little secret.

  10

  Platonic Delusions

  Reese

  In the morning, there’s an abrupt knock over my door as Beverly demands I get the hell downstairs before Dad leaves for his meeting.

  I throw my body in the shower and wrap myself in my favorite waffle-knit robe before heading to the dining room. I would have jumped down the stairwell for my mother, but a part of me wanted to teach Bev a lesson for talking to me like I was thirteen, or more the point like she really cared.

  “You’re in deep shit,” Kennedy hisses, passing me on the way.

  I saw my phone last night for the first time since I left and there were at least a half dozen threats letting me know she was done covering for my ass—that I had everyone on the planet worried, including her.

  “Reese.” Dad comes at me from the kitchen and nearly drops his coffee as he lunges into an embrace. “Dear God, I was so frightened.” His voice breaks, and I hold my breath a second. I haven’t seen my father cry since Mom died, and, now, here I was, bringing him a new brand of grief.

  “I’m fine.” I back up, trying to brush it off. “You guys hungry? I’ll make pancakes,” I offer. I’d rather go out and ground the wheat myself than stay here and see the sorrow I’ve etched into my father’s face.

  “Pancakes? Who could eat?” Beverly’s voice hits its upper register. “You had us worried sick.” She takes a step into me. “I drove your father to the ER last Thursday because he was having chest pains at the thought of you lying in a ditch.” She shakes her finger in my face as a genuine fury brews in her.

  I glance to my father. “Did you have a heart attack?” My hand rises to my throat.

  In one of her texts, Kennedy mentioned I should get back quick—that there was some kind of family emergency. Of course, I only saw that a few hours ago, but, had I seen it at the falls, I would have assumed she was lying.

  “No.” Dad shoots Bev a look that suggests he’d rather not go there.

  “It was a cardiac episode,” she says it stern, glaring at his effort to downplay the event. Bev reverts to me with her pent up anger. “You may be over eighteen but you are not anywhere near the stage in your life where you can pick up for two weeks without explanation.” Her crimson lipstick bleeds into the cracks around her mouth. It looks like a fire feathering from her face, and judging by her temper, it may as well be.

  “She’s right.” Dad acquiesces. “I was worried sick, and, quite frankly, if it happens again I’m positive both my heart and my mind will give out.” He pulls me in and holds me in his arms as if I had just been rescued from a burning building. I pat his shoulders trying to calm him. He feels frail in comparison to Ace, and for the first time I see my father as a mortal. “I’m pleading with you, Reese, don’t be so heartless as to cut us off like that.” He picks up my hand, his eyes still aching with worry. “Kennedy said these were friends of yours from school, that were passing through. Did you get lost? Were you hungry?”

  Oh crap. On top of everything else, I have to look my father in the eye and lie to him.

  “No. I swear I was never lost. I was never hungry. Not once. I was totally safe. We just lost track of time. That’s all.”

  Dad glances down at his watch. “Speaking of losing track of time, I’ve got to make tracks myself or I’m going to miss this meeting. Try to be here when I get home.” Dad squeezes me in a tragic embrace. I can feel the sorrow pouring from him like oil. “There are only a few weeks left before you need to get back to school, and I want
to spend all the time with my baby girl I can.” He presses a kiss over my forehead. “Both my girls.” He points over at Kennedy before whisking himself out the door.

  Beverly steps square in front of me with her arms folded tight, her lips pinched as she readies to release some tension.

  “I’m sorry.” I shake my head. “I swear these girls I was with—”

  “You can cut the bull. I know you were with that Waterman boy. Kennedy told me the entire thing.” Her murky green eyes narrow in on me, the exact shade of algae-riddled rocks. “You realize your father thinks you’re engaged and has leveraged a portion of his business to purchase you a home.” Her voice softens with that last bit. “I think at your age, a girl is easily confused. Obviously, you were out having a good time with this Waterman kid, but now you need to focus. You need to revert your attention to the well-educated man who declared his love for you in front of every important person your father and I know. You need to get back to the business of being a Westfield—and a part of that business is stepping up and linking arms with Warren, the man you’re destined to marry.” She cups my cheek with her hand and tilts into me with a false sense of sorrow. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, there’s nothing wrong with keeping company on the side with the ranch hand, the handy man—the woodcutter. My own mother did it.”

  “Grandma?” Kennedy gasps.

  “But”—Beverly holds up a finger to cap Kennedy’s reaction—“until you make it legal with Warren, I’d be weary of rocking the boat. Your father’s heart—his life is on the line. He wants this for you as much as I do. We only want the best for you, Reese.” Beverly picks up her tennis racket and marches out the door.

  “Do you believe that?” I ask as Kennedy and I stare vacantly at the entry. “Do you think they only want the best for me?”

  “I’d like to think so,” she pants, still shell shocked from the familial blow Beverly dealt. “But, knowing my mother, I seriously doubt it.” She sweeps her fingers through my damp hair. “Do you want what’s best for you?”

  I startle back to life.

  “What the hell kind of question is that?”

  “The truthful kind. Do you want Warren in any way, shape, or form? And, if not, why the hell are you keeping Ace from everybody like some big bad secret? Get in or get out, Reese. But you can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

  Kennedy heads off toward the kitchen and leaves me swirling in the wake of her words.

  I don’t want Warren.

  And I do want Ace.

  I love Ace. But how does love fit in a perfectly platonic relationship? In the world of corporate greed my father built?

  It doesn’t.

  Late in the afternoon I go for a walk along the shoreline and watch as Warren and Ace glide across the water, easy and lithe as garden snakes skimming the surface.

  Brylee has planted herself on a bright pink towel down by the shore that actually hurts to look at, so I flip on my sunglasses and plop down next to her.

  “Well look who finally crawled out of her love shack?” She shades her eyes with her hand as she takes me in. “You look thinner—happier.”

  “I am happier and it has nothing to do with the shape of my body.”

  “So how was it?” She spins into me and hugs her knees. “Is he worth his weight in the bedroom, or, should I say, the red tent of love?”

  “He’s amazing. He left me breathless.” I shake my head a moment as all those heated memories sear past me like an erotic tornado. I’m afraid I’ll get too caught up in the memory and beg him to take me right here on the sand. “We’re still friends.” I shrug, looking out at him as he narrowly holds his own over Warren in what’s panning out to be the race of the century. “I was thinking about talking to him. You know, to see if he was interested in anything more.”

  “Yes!” Her face brightens ten shades of pink. “Oh my God!” Brylee practically howls it across the lake. “Please, talk to him. You guys are so perfect for each other. He’s sweet and so are you. Not to mention the fact you’ve already shared something so intimate and special.”

  “I know, but”—I shake out my hair and let the wind sweep it behind me—“he was pretty clear about us just staying friends. If I lower the boom, he might think I was trying to trap him into a relationship all along, or worse, he’ll think I’m some kind of stalker who cleverly found a way to bed her victim. Of course, both theories are true, but I’d only admit it to you.” I kick her gently in the shin. “Besides, if I leave things alone, we’ll still be friends. I’ll still have Ace in my life and some semblance of normalcy.”

  “Is that what you want?” She pierces me with those sky blue eyes. “You want things to go back to the way they were?”

  Warren and Ace crop up in my peripheral vision as if they were campaigning for my attention all along.

  “Being with Warren would make my father and Beverly happy,” I start. “But, I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty pocket knife than leash myself to him for the rest of my days. And, being with Ace would be a longtime dream fulfilling itself. It would be living out my heart’s desire in real time. It would be incredible if he wanted that, too.”

  “Well”—she nudges me with her knee—“what kind of vibes does he give you? Do you think he’s feeling it?”

  “I don’t know. One minute I think he does and the next he’s affirming our friendship status. It’s like we’re both walking the line, trying not to ruin our friendship, only maybe he really does want to stay friends.”

  Brylee shakes her head, incensed. “I thought for sure when you guys finally did it you’d wind up on the same page. Who sleeps with someone they’re in love with and doesn’t bother to say those three little words?” She rages as she looks over her shoulder at Ace.

  “I thought the same thing,” I whisper. “I’m the worst kind of coward.”

  “Yeah, well”—she makes a face as Ace and Warren speed over—“you may not be the only coward I know.”

  Boy, wouldn’t that be nice.

  Warren cuts Ace off and knocks his canoe over as he glides up in front of us. I watch as Ace rights himself and paddles forward with the water beading off his smile.

  “What the fuck?” Warren pants his way over as he falls into the sand next to me.

  Ace pauses before taking up his boat and walking toward his house.

  “Waterman!” Brylee calls for him and my adrenaline picks up. “Get over here. Dude, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in like a week.”

  Shit. Brylee is such a fucking troublemaker.

  Ace tilts his head at her a moment before dropping his boat and heading on over.

  Perfect. I’m sure Brylee would want nothing more than front row seats when I finally pour my heart out to Ace. But Warren is here, and, in the event she hadn’t noticed, we have a faux engagement I’m still pretty ticked over.

  “And what about you?” Warren kicks my foot as he gets up on his elbows. “Ken said you were with Whitney Summers and those airheads she hangs out with. You guys have fun?” Warren’s face is clean-shaven, his hair trimmed close to his head on the sides. He looks like a poster child for prep schools everywhere, and Ace sports the perfect five o’clock shadow, his wet hair is almost down to the base of his neck.

  I cut a quick glance up to Ace. “Yeah, we had fun.” Shit. It’s not that I want to lie to Warren but I’m pretty sure he’d slit Ace’s throat if I told him the real story—that a faux honeymoon was involved—that nonstop love making ensued for the last eleven days. My insides throb with grief at the thought of not having Ace on command.

  “Are you sure you were with Whitney?” Brylee winks into the sun as she studies me with that shit-eating grin locked on her face. “I mean, I thought I saw her last week in Collingsworth, but I could be confusing her with someone else.”

  Crap.

  “Yes, I’m sure.” I give her a hard stare. “I was there. I would know who I was with.”

  Ace turns his head a moment bef
ore getting up. “It was nice seeing you guys. Gavin’s hauling me out to Medford. There’s an entire forest of Redwoods with my name on it.”

  Warren glares at him. “Season that shit right this year would you? I’m tired of listening to my parent’s bitch about it. Tell Gavin he’s about to lose the entire lake if his ass doesn’t shape up.”

  “Will do.” Ace holds my gaze a moment before taking off down the shore. There he goes, drifting further away from me, his body turning into a fierce shadow.

  “Wait.” I jump up and run after him. “Medford is far,” I pant while my heart tries to pummel its way out of my chest. I glance back at Warren and Brylee as they chat in the sand. “And I’m sorry what I said about Whitney.” I press my lips together to stave off tears. “I wanted to say it was you.”

  Ace shakes his head just barely. “Why would you say it was me?” His sad eyes pull toward his cabin, and he starts heading that way again.

  “I go back to school on the fourth.” I match him stride for stride. “Kennedy wants to get settled, so we we’re going back a week early.”

  “Got it.” His eyes widen as he nods into the idea. “You want to pencil in a few more trips to the boathouse—no problem.”

  “No.” My heart drops at what I might have implied. “It’s not that.”

  “No?” He arches a brow, still making his way down the lake, and I follow. “I must have not impressed you.”

  “Believe me—you impressed the hell out of me,” I pant, struggling to keep up with him. “When you come back, do you think we can get together?”

  “Yeah, sure.” He lifts his canoe up over his head and hikes toward the narrow trail that leads to the main road. “See you around.”

  “Ace?” I call to him but he’s already in the thick of the holly bushes that line the walk.

  See you around. That’s what you say to a friend.

  And my heart breaks.

  Ace