Feathermore

Since no one would help me get my arms around what was going on, I decided to go for a drive. I couldn’t just sit and do nothing, even though I knew in the back of my mind that Lilith could find me anytime she liked. Right now I didn’t care. Hell, for all I knew, she may actually explain more about all this than my so-called best friends.

  As I got in the car and started driving, feelings of betrayal started to fill my head. My two best friends, whom I had shared everything with, were holding out on me. All this time shared with them felt like a lie. Why were they even my friends—because they wanted to be, or because they had to? I didn’t want to think about it too much. I obviously wanted answers, but no one was giving them to me, and everything else that was happening around me was just too weird. Maybe Claire was right: maybe I should just stay out of it. But how could I do that?

  I had made it downtown, where all the shops and restaurants were still open and lively with all types of people. I rolled down my window for the first couple of blocks, just letting the music from the restaurants, the laughter, and the happy chatter fill the car. I decided that a walk in the cold night might help clear my head, and I parked near Mom’s favorite spot, Capri Valley, a homey little Italian restaurant.

  I made my way down Main Street and cleared my head of all that had been going on. I wanted to take this little time I had alone and just be me—whatever was left of me, at least. I went into a few clothing stores and fell in love with too many outfits and accessories.

  What was I going to do when I needed money? I would probably have to get a job after school and start saving up. The house had been paid off a long time ago, so I didn’t have to worry about mortgage payments or rent, but everything else was up in the air at the moment. It was still hard to believe that at seventeen I was all alone.

  The night started to get colder, and as usual, I didn’t have a sweater with me. I remembered I still had the debit card Dad had given me a couple of years ago for emergencies. At the time he gave it to me an emergency was not having enough for a cab or for pizza on a Friday night. Since I had never really gotten the chance to use the card, I didn’t really know how much was on it, so I picked up the cheapest (and, as it happened, ugliest) sweater I could find. Luckily, there was enough for that.

  As I left the store and walked to the car I started feeling a pull, as if my body were in control and wanted me to keep walking. Not knowing what the pull was, I fought it at first, but it kept getting stronger until I just gave in and let it lead me. I stopped at a café where some kids from school usually hung out. Not really our kind of spot, but from where I was standing, I could recognize some classmates.

  I took a quick look around the outside tables and then took a closer look through the window at the inside. To the left were about six tables filled with kids having sodas and sweet treats. To the right were two pool tables, with a small counter attached to the wall, where people had set their drinks, and some girls had laid their purses. Amy and her preppy friends were acting all dumb around the football team. I kept scanning the place, my body still urging me to proceed.

  That was when I saw him. He was by the pool table nearer the wall, one hand on the side of the table and the other holding a pool cue. He was laughing at something someone had said, and he looked so lively and vibrant, I could actually see light emanating from him. It was probably the same energy I felt every time I was around him.

  He leaned over the table. As he was lining up to take the shot he picked up his gaze, and it just sort of locked straight on to mine. I couldn’t believe my own eyes. He was hanging out with her now? I gave him the once-over. How could he? He straightened up and handed cue to Ron, the quarterback. Amy grabbed his arm, probably asking where he was going, and at that point, I decided I had seen enough.

  I started walking back to the car, my feet hitting the ground at a fast clip. I needed to get away from here, from him.

  He grabbed my arm and spun me around. “Hey.” His voice sounded short of breath.

  I didn’t respond. I was too upset to come up with anything to say right now. I fidgeted with the sleeve of my new sweater, almost ripping it apart.

  “What are you doing here?” he said, looking around. “Are you alone?”

  “Does it matter? You seem to have all the company you need.” I spat the words at him. Of course he would be with her—I was nothing but baggage now. I shook my head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you!” I looked up at him, searching his eyes.

  “It isn’t what it seems,” he said. I wondered if it sounded as lame to him as it did to me.

  “That’s what they always say, and it always ends up being exactly what it seems.” I turned around and started walking away. Just then I heard her shrieking, annoying voice.

  “Avan?” There was that unmistakable grating lilt. “Why don’t we go back inside? There’s nothing worthy out here.”

  I slowly turned to face Amy.

  “You don’t need to do charity work for the orphan.”

  Avan got in front of me, shielding me from her—or maybe it was the other way around.

  “Take it back,” I said through clenched teeth.

  “Why would I? It’s true, isn’t it? Orphan.”

  I couldn’t believe she was actually saying this—as rude and mean as she was, this had to be a new low, even for her. And what was worse, she wasn’t showing the slightest remorse about it. I had taken years of bullying from her, and she never got to me that much, but now she was actually making fun of my parents’ death. This was where I drew the line.

  The old Jade was long gone, replaced by a new one who wouldn’t take crap from anyone. And it was high time someone stopped Amy. It was getting out of hand.

  “Amy, that was uncalled for,” Avan said. He put his hands behind him, trying to hold me back so I wouldn’t do something I was going to regret. I knew what she was doing. She was mad that she hadn’t been able to break him, and so now she was going to pull out all the stops to hurt me.

  “Oh, what a good boyfriend you are, Avan,” she hissed. “But be careful, or you may end up dead, too.” That was it. Although she may have been right, she was way out of line, and something inside me awoke.

  I took a step around Avan as he tried to reach for me, but there was no turning back. The feeling in my back was stronger now than it had ever been before. I took another step forward. My face felt numb. I knew there was no expression on it anymore. Amy’s friends took a few steps back, and as I searched Amy’s eyes, there was no backing down—she was daring me to do something to her. I lifted my hand, my index finger out, pointing it right at her face, “Don’t ever talk about my parents that way, understood?”

  As I was about to turn back toward Avan, she sneered, “Or what? What are you going to do, orphan?”

  That was it. Whatever little shred of humanity was left in me evaporated.

  “Or this.” With a movement as fast as the thought behind it, I pushed my arm out, catching her under her shoulder. I had wanted simply to shove her back, but it wasn’t just a shove. I had sent her flying a good ten feet back. She fell on her butt and shrieked in pain, rattling off a few good obscenities my way. Her friends all rushed to help her get up, all the while glancing up at me to make sure I wasn’t coming back for more.

  Avan grabbed my hand and pulled me away quickly, but not before I saw Blake appear behind some cars. His eyes were on me, his face unreadable. We rounded the corner, and he was gone. I shook my head, trying to clear away any thoughts of him. He’s not real, I told myself. You’re seeing things, as usual.

  “Did you see that” I asked Avan, trying to focus on something else.

  “Yeah, we need to get away.” Grabbing my upper arm, he walked me to the car. “Dang, girl! Have you been working out?” he joked nervously.

  “The light! Didn’t you see the light?” I asked again. Before Amy went flying, the moment I put my hand on her I felt something build up under my palm, and then it exploded, sending her up in the air.

&nb
sp; “A light?” He looked at me. “What are you talking about!”

  He obviously hadn’t seen it. Did that mean something?

  We walked in silence the rest of the way, my mind in overdrive. I thought of Claire, how fast she moved, and my uncanny new strength. Once again, the vampire idea came to me. But it couldn’t be. We definitely didn’t drink blood, and we were perfectly fine in the bright sunshine—we didn’t sparkle or go up in flames.

  The question now was, what were Nate and Claire? More importantly, what was I!

  14. CONFESSIONS