Gwenny June's Tommy Crown Affair
Chapter 56 – The Deal
We left Tommy and Gwendy alone and went into the kitchen to make some munchies to go with the cocktails. Richard conferred with the dog as to his preferences, which, surprise surprise, amounted to meatloaf with no tomato sauce on it, while Gale sat at the table and dialed her phone. That left me to produce the food and Jinny to fix the drinks. While we worked we listened to Gale’s conversation:
Gale: “Hey, it’s me.”
Other: ....
Gale: “Whaddo you mean, who?”
Other: ....
Gale: “Yes, Cannon Girl. Me.”
Other: ....
Gale: “I’ve been out of circulation. Taking care of a sick friend,” sticking her tongue out at me.
Other: ....
Gale: “Yes, I’ve been a good girl, which is why I’m calling you.”
Other: ....
Gale: “No, it’s been a bad thing; a very bad thing.”
Other: ....
Gale: “Yes, it is an example of life’s paradox, that being good is bad; you’re not so dumb for a Confederate sympathizer.”
Other: ....
Gale: “Yes, that’s a compliment.”
Other: ....
Gale: “What else would I be calling you for? I'm not interested in a history lesson. You have two things I like: the best recipe for Charleston Light Infantry Dragoon Punch I’ve ever tasted, and....”
Other: ....
Gale: “You’re so smart. When?”
Other: ....
Gale: “You gotta load them? You don’t keep them loaded all the time?”
Other: ....
Gale: “So what if they go off unexpectedly?”
Other: ....
Gale: “Ok, I see, that would be messy.
Other: ....
Gale: “No I don’t want the little 3 inch diameter Mountain Howitzer that shoots half a mile. I want the biggest fucking cannon you got. The 10 inch Rodman that can throw a 200 pound ball from Charleston to Savannah.”
Other: ....
Gale: "How long does it take?”
Other: ....
Gale: “No I’m not talking this weekend, I’m talking tonight. I can go off duty helping my friend. If you can’t load up by then, I’ll find someone else.”
The dog and Richard were getting ready to leave to get the meatloaf from next door, that not being a staple of the June household but something more in tune with the taste of a scribe, and the dog said, “She’s bluffing. She doesn’t have a backup.”
Other: ....
Gale: “That’s ok. Half a charge is better than nothing. I’ll be over about nine, and I want the punch cold and the cannonfire hot. See ya, big boy. Hope your neighbors don’t mind a high-pitched rendition of ‘Dixie’ around dawn.”
Other: ....
Gale: Giggles, and hangs up.
I looked at Jinny and said, “Thank god.”
While I made up an antipasto, a plate of paties, and some French bread and cold cuts, Jinny rolled a small cart out of the pantry and into the center of the room. Onto this he placed a wine bucket filled with ice and water, two bottles of Moutard rose champagne, white wine glasses, a bottle of Remy Martin cognac, a bottle of white creme de menthe, a second bucket of ice, a sterling silver shaker, and seven long-stem coupe glasses. Gale saw them and counted on her fingers: me, Gwen, Tommy, Richard, Jinny....oh yeah, Gwendy and the dog. She said to Jinny, “You’re right, symbolism among friends and specials is important. He shook his head, Yes. I loaded the food plates onto the lower shelf of the cart and we rolled into the living room, where we found Tommy sitting in one of the antique armchairs he had placed directly in front of the painting.
I said, “You two look comfy.”
Gwendy said, "We've been talking about our futures. Both of us have gone through big changes recently, and we're figuring out what comes next."
Jinny said, "Gale did the same thing in the kitchen."
Richard, who'd come into the living room after leaving the dog and the meatloaf together in the kitchen, said, "What's next for her?"
"She's going over the Confederate guy's house tonight, make some Tchaikovsky-like music together."
"What's that?"
"Great Russian composer," said Jinny, the former Russian gangster, "you know, the '1812 Overture', the piece with the cannon fire in it."
Richard looked at Gale, said, "I don't know exactly what it is, but I think there's a whole book lurking in you. I'll have to think about that."
Gwendy looked at the cart and said, "Two bottles of champagne. Rose. What are the rest of you drinking," and broke out in that warm southern laughter that makes New Englanders, those fortunate enough to hear it, rethink the value of their gnarly heritage.
I said, "We've gotten Gale back in tune with her true self, so it seems we have only one more serious task to do today, and you two started on it. How about we finish that up, and then we can hit the food and drink?" I looked at Gwendy and asked, "You have stingers in your time?"
She looked at the other bottles on the cart and said, "Cognac and white creme de menthe? Oh, yeah, but we called that a 'Southern Charm' rather than a stinger. I must have drunk a thousand of them, and seeing the mixings for that makes me wanna jump right out of this painting. I'll enjoy your imbibition almost as much as you will."
I sat on the sofa and asked, "So what have you decided about your futures?"
Tommy looked up at Gwendy and said, "She wants to go home."
Just then the dog walked in, smelling like you know what, and said, "Home? I thought this was her home. This is the home of the current Bedgewood. Her," flinging a nod at me, his ears flapping.
"That's just it," she said. "This is the home of the current Bedgewood; but I'm the past Bedgewood, and my presence here cramps her style. I've been here seven weeks, and not one party. No visits by the Mayor or the Senator, no garden parties with Dragoon Punch or Southern Charms, no soirees with a diva playing the Steinway."
I said, "That might have something to do with Roger not being here."
She said, "Thank you dear, but we know the reality. And it's not just that. I miss my friends at the museum. When you get to be my age, you come to appreciate the steady and the known. It may be boring, but we care about each other a lot, and after all, we have something in common, don't we?"
The dog stopped licking the remains of the meatloaf from his lips, and the rest of us looked up at Gwendy with sympathy. Jinny said, "So what's that mean?"
Tommy said, "It means I have to take her back."
Gale, Jinny, and I looked at each other, did the telepathy thing that excluded Tommy and Richard but not the dog, and came to an understanding. I said, "No it doesn't." Tommy looked at me, puzzled, so I said, "We pinched her. We'll take her back."
He said, "How? And why take the risk?"
"We have our reasons."
Gale and Jinny remained silent, and Richard figured someone would tell him what was going on at some point, or else we wouldn't have invited him for cocktails. Finally the dog spoke up: "Gwen, stop fooling around. Tell him. We all know the story now."
I said, "What is the story?"
The dog said, "Jesus, do I have to do all the heavy lifting around here? Do I get stingers? Champagne? Antipasto and paties? No, I get meatloaf."
Richard said, "I thought you liked my meatloaf?"
"I do. I'm just busting your balls. Ok, here's the story. Tommy's one of us now. He's a Junie. So now you gotta treat him like one. And we know he quit his job with Ms. Granite, and we know he's staying here in Charleston, having seen the light regarding its cultural superiority over New York." Everyone looked at Tommy, who maintained a neutral look on his face. "And since he's a Junie, you gotta let him into this caper. He's gotta be part of taking Gwendy home."
We kept looking at Tommy until he said, "You going to use the same trick to get her in that you used to get her out?"
&
nbsp; I looked at Jinny, who nodded. I said, "Yes."
Tommy said, "This I gotta see."
The dog went on, "And that's not all." He looked at Gale and said, "You may wanna cancel your date with the Confederate guy."
"Why would I want to do that?" she said. "I've been parched for seven weeks, defending Gwen's honor against the second coming of northern aggression. Now that the threat has been mitigated, I need to satiate the craving, get back to being the real me."
"You know why."
Jinny said, "He's right, Gale. Cancel."
We all looked first at her and then at Tommy, and then we saw something none of us ever had seen. We saw Gale blush. Gale the warrior fashionista; Gale the Charleston empress and temptress; Gale the Kama Sutra seductress. She looked at Tommy and said, "You want me to cancel?"
He nodded, Yes.