Awoken By Passion

Chapter 15

  Alone

  Suddenly alone, I was frightened. Worse, I didn’t even hear him leave. No door opened, or window; and if it did, it shut too fast to notice. Peering around the cottage, this time with reason and hoping to distract myself from what just happened, I sighed. The kitchenette didn’t have a fridge, but it did have a pantry. I nibbled my lip, unsure and moved towards it. Empty. Plates and cups were in here, but no food of any kind. Not even tea or sugar. So it wasn’t here that he was getting food, then where?

  For fifteen minutes, I walked around the cottage, taking in the artworks, the drapes, the windows, the rooms, only one; and it had a large bed with a spacious indoor amenities. I spied my reflection in the bathroom mirror and puzzled my rosy cheeks. Mulling over everything that happened this day … yesterday … last week. The list was endless.

  Ever since Ethan Coffer came into my life, everything was different.

  I had no fog. I still had no voice, but I was able to talk to him, having him answer me at last. I was a Fae, he was a vampire; and there was a nasty vampire out there who wanted to take me to a Master vampire, and that was a bad idea. And now, I was here, in a cottage by myself, since the one person who brought me here, left.

  It happened just as suddenly.

  One moment I was mulling over all that happened. And then, he was there. Handsome, shy with a bag of groceries in hand. Packets of chips, meat, vegetable, fruit, bread … one would take on a camping trip. Only this wasn’t camping.

  Why did you do that?

  “Sorry …” He started to unload the bag, stuffing them onto the empty shelves. “I needed some time.”

  You didn’t have to leave me alone. You do remember that your brother is hunting me.

  “You are safe. I promise. Tristan won’t find you this night.”

  What about tomorrow night or the next.

  “We’ll stay here as long as we need.”

  What. I mean … why? But … no. What? I can’t stay here … well … I tilted my head. I did want to get away from everything.

  “Not forever. Just until Caleb can get control of the situation. Might be just the night.”

  I reached out and pulled a jar of pickles to view.

  Pickles. You bought pickles?

  “Um … yeah. Sorry. I just grabbed a bunch of snacks from the shelf in town.”

  Town. You went to town?

  “Not Kenneth. Too far away. There’s a local store bout half an hour from here.” He turned to the stove, turned dials, watching as the flame ignited; he reached for a frying pan. “I’ll cook, you rest.”

  You know how to cook?

  “Course I do. Was a chef in a classy restaurant during 90’s.”

  You were. Why would you come to high school? If you’re ageless and immortal.

  “I ask myself that every time.” He winked; his earlier emotions were fading from him. “Schools simple and it’s usually how we like to start out in a town. Haven’t been to Kenneth in a few decades now. Kind of missed the place.”

  Is the Coffer Manor, a family home?

  “Yes. Was my father’s second house, after I died?”

  So … you and your brother … Tristan—

  “I don’t remember him as my brother or any of my siblings since my turning.” Ethan added oil and the meat to the pan, glancing at me as he cooked “According to him, after I disappeared; he came looking for me. I don’t remember him and refused him, and he didn’t like it. He was apparently four years my junior. He ran into me on the street when he was eighteen and sought me out for a further four years. What he found was the creature of the night. He wanted to be a vampire. I was unable to give him answers or immortality, and so he found a vampire who would turn him.

  “For several years, he was at my side. For a time, I did think of him as my brother, and a friend. I left Caleb and Judith fifteen years after my turning. Tristan and I ran together for almost thirty years. Then, there was a fight, and I left him; returning to Caleb once more. It was a dark time in my life. I don’t like to remember it.” He started to add herbs to the simmering meat.

  Sitting at the kitchen bench, watching him prepare the meal of fried vegetables, grilled steak and a cream pudding. I mulled over my vision, and all that I had seen of Tristan.

  He’s not as bad as you think.

  “You don’t know him the way I do Kera.”

  No … I mean. My dream I had on Tuesday morning. He was with Stacy … feeding off her … but it was more than that. He cared about her.

  “Tristan cares about no one but himself.” Ethan was annoyed and wasn’t about to listen to anything nice spoken about his brother’s actions or the possibility.

  A silence lingered. I bit my lip, thinking of something to talk about and all I could think about was him … leaving when we were … making out.

  So … about before … I risked asking.

  Ethan heaved a sigh.

  Do you—did you want to feed off me.

  “No Kera. I wish not to feed off you. I was wrong to do that. You only just discovering all that I am. And I … I’m only just understanding my feelings for you. They’re confusing, amusing, alarming, and pleasing all in one.”

  You mean … not normal. Kissing and … Touching … isn’t something you have done before?

  His lips pulled to the side. “I … haven’t dated. But vampire and human relationships are pretty much the same, last I checked at least.”

  You mean … sex. I blushed at the word.

  “Yes. But it’s not important.”

  But you stopped and … Left.

  Ethan turned away, slinging a tea towel over his shoulder with tongs in one hand; he smiled wryly. “It’s different in the sense we vampires, take love-making to another level. Well, not during … before. If a vampire takes the blood of his lover while being … passionate. It’s like making love. Its power, its lust, it’s sharing openly on a level that isn’t feeding. I was … caught up in the moment. The desire, and tempted to do a lusting. I wish not to do that to you.”

  To share with me …

  “A lusting would be in my bite. My saliva is filled with endorphins, as would your blood for me. Call it a high of passion. A lusting is powerful and … something we shouldn’t get ourselves tangled with.” He turned to the pan, turning meat and stirring things; I bit my lip debating his answer.

  Is this like … a feeling thing?

  “Sort of. I feel emotion through my fangs; feeding on a sad person, would allow me sadness, a happy person would allow me happiness, and passion … I have never felt that.”

  But you want to. Right. With me.

  “Kera.” He rested the tongs on the counter, and walked towards me, leaning across the bench to touch my hand. “Sharing a lusting with you is like making love. A step in many relationships that most if they do it, it’s a commitment among my kind. Me, biting you would seal you as mine, and mine alone.”

  So bite me.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to. I do. But I don’t want to do it because it can be done.”

  I frowned at his words. I don’t understand. You didn’t like kissing me. Holding me? Touching me?

  “I want to hold you, like a normal man would. I can’t afford to hurt you, or to lose you.”

  You won’t lose me Ethan. I want you to hold me, touch me as you were.

  “But not like that. I don’t crave you like … food.” He ran his hands through his hair, agitated with what he was saying. He was struggling with explaining it.

  Was it embarrassing? Was it as he said … like making love?

  “I could hurt you. I could take too much. You wouldn’t be tranced while I did that, claiming you like that. If you aren’t ready, willing. It could be worse. Your instinct would be to fight me.”

  I wouldn’t. If it were as powerful as you say, intoxicating and passion … I would want it with you.

  Ethan smiled, lifting my hand to his lips. “You make me breathless. Just yesterday, you were angry with me, kn
owing nothing of this. But now … here. You willing to be with me on every level.”

  Because I like you, I want to be with you Ethan. I trust you. You saved me from those wolves, from your brother and you’re cooking me lunch too.

  His smile had him glance at the simmering foods.

  You wouldn’t harm me. And I forgive you for taking my memory from me … While I did forgive him for that, I puzzled how I was able to have it returned at all.

  “That’s the problem with our trances. It can either sit as a dream or it can be removed until something triggers it to the surface. In this case, seeing my brother did that.”

  Do you think … I can try and remember what happened to Melody?

  “Maybe. I am not sure. But your power as a Fae needs to be controlled. It was why you were so sick after using it on Brant and the others. You should try practising it.”

  Right now, but I’m hungry.

  “Good. Be ready in five.” He kissed my hand and turned to the stove, stirring and flipping the meat.

  Five minutes later, my meal was here and not twenty minutes later, I was washing the dishes, insisting I do something.

  “All right, you clean up and I’ll go get more firewood.”

  I nodded, smiling at the comfortable feeling that was settling inside of me. Cleaning down the stove, the pots and the one plate I used, since he didn’t eat. I wiped the bench down and folded the tea towel; hearing the thunk sound of wood being chopped. I walked to the backdoor, spying Ethan outside, axe in hand and placing it on the block to hit it with his hand, splitting the wood into chips with ease. No need to swing when he was super strong. He worked with his back to me, watching as the muscles rippled and moved under his shirt. My smile didn’t leave, even when he gathered the armful of wood and turned to see me watching him.

  He winked playfully, stepping inside. “There isn’t any electricity here; we’ll be in candle light. You don’t mind?”

  Long as you’ll stay with me. I wouldn’t care if we were camping in a tent.

  He dropped the wood into a pile by the fire, loading up another few before sitting beside me, I gazed into the fire, spying him from the corner of my eye. He stood, and walked towards a small drawer, he pulled out candles. A dozen of them, placing them around the room but one, he brought to me.

  “So, time to practice your power.”

  Er … how.

  “Lighting a candle.” He winked. “You can do it, trust me. You just need to … think clearer on it. When you moved the pole that was a higher level. Making the lights flicker was more a drawing of power than making power. This.” He held the candle to me. “Is nature’s power. Fire.” He waited until I held it, pressing my lips together and thinking how I was to make it happen. “Breathe Kera. Relax your thoughts, and think clear … one word usually is all you need.”

  Ignite.

  And just like that. The small flame danced to life on the candle wick.

  Whoa. It worked.

  “As it would.”

  How do you know so much about this?

  “A few decades ago, I met a half blood Fae. She became a close friend of mine, told me a thing or to about emotions, mostly to keep an eye out for any others like yourself. Mystical powers, flickering lights. Illusions and thought pushing were just some of the talent a Fae has.”

  Thought pushing?

  “That’s what you do when you push your thoughts into me. When you want me to see something in particular, you push an image repeatedly, or making it into a true thought that all I end up doing, is thinking about it regardless. Though over time, you will start to feel the emotions of those around you, and it might become harder for you to be around people. Most Fae live either with their own kin, or as far from people as possible. Some, like the Fae I knew, liked to be around Dundine because there is a lack of emotion and they don’t feel so … over emotional. It will get easier if you practice.”

  I breathed deep, placing the candle on the table in front of us and glanced to another. Thinking of igniting them, I smiled when they did do just that. All dozen of them illuminated at that one thought. Staring for a time, I turned my gaze to him.

  “Fire isn’t all that entertaining.”

  You’re just better looking than fire.

  His laugh was small, he leaned closer, and his lips brushed mine hesitantly. He stared into my eyes for a length, tucking my hair behind my ear and gazing down at me. “You’re so beautiful.” His mouth captured mine, longer and stronger than before. Losing myself with his kiss, his touch, his passion.

  Widening my mouth, I slipped my tongue inside his. Tasting him, and I wanted more. My fingers locked into his dark curls as his hand eased around my back, pushing me backwards, laying me on the lounge as our mouths moved with passion. Hovering over me by inches as his mouth caressed along my jaw. Sucking the bottom lip into his, I ached for more, as I held him to me. He wasn’t letting go, he wasn’t stopping, or slowing in the passion. He melted to me, holding me to him. He wrapped his arms around me; he buried his head into the nape of my neck, hugging me tightly, and breathing heavy.

  “This is the best thing about you,” he whispered.

  What.

  “Holding you … touching you. Lying beside you.” He rolled from me, wedged between me and the lounge; thankfully, this was a comfy spacious lounge. Our legs were tangled; his hands and mine. Our eyes at the same level. “Kissing you.” He leant in with a kiss, smiling at the contact and his happiness. “The passion I feel … you make me feel alive.”

  I reached to his face. Kissing him, making out. It was all I wanted to do right at this moment and forever if I could. I pressed to him; gracing the inside of his lips with my tongue, he returned it with a passion as high as before until we gasped apart. His forehead leant on mine.

  What changed? I mean before … you were hesitant.

  “I realised I can’t stop thinking about you … us. It’s like I know now. I know what the world is made of. You and only you.”

  You’re mine too. His mouth was on mine for several breathless moments. Can I ask you something?

  “Anything.”

  Well. About your desire for blood. Can you stop?

  “No. It’s impossible to live without it. I’d be weak, probably become a shell of what I am. Slumbering would help … The old ones do that. Skip decades at a time.”

  What’s it like … the blood? I can have chicken and bacon and chocolate. You just have … blood. Is there a taste?

  “Oh, it’s …” His words faulted in thought. “It’s … nice to me. The only thing I want and need. A flavour that only I know. Smell and taste are needed, but it’s intense, intoxicating if I have too much around me; if I didn’t get it, I’d go crazy and when I get it, I can’t put it down.”

  So how do you not kill?

  “Over the years, you learn to control it. To know its limits before a rage is burning. I feed daily on deer. I trance the animal into a state of calmness, taking small amounts is better than draining them dry.”

  And that’s all you take.

  “Sometimes I need a few to quench the thirst. The burning is always there, numb for a few hours, days if I stretch it.”

  What about the fangs. Don’t they bother you?

  “No Kera, my fangs are … like the throbbing of my heart. I feel through them, as though they are sensitive fingers. The pleasure of drinking blood is measured through my fangs. The amount can be slowed or sped up. I can over think something and take too much if I’m not careful. That’s why a lusting is so powerful.”

  Have you shared a lusting before?

  Ethan traced his finger along my cheek. “No. I have not. I have not found another to share anything with and the closest I came to love was with my family. Though, that is love of my family, not like this. Not of this magnitude.” His lips pressed to the corner of my mouth. “This is love,” he whispered.

  If I was willing to give you my blood, will that be a lusting or a feeding?

  Ethan shook
his head. His eyes searched mine and a crease in his brow showed. “Lusting is done when … making out.” He pressed his lips together. “It’d be close to making love. While most lustings are between vampires … not human and vampire. Humans are not supposed to taste blood. For me to taste your blood as I feel now, would be close to one. It’d feel powerful, because your body is releasing the hormones and endorphins; rushing them around your heart, through your blood and making you smell sweeter to me. To have your heart quicken at my touch, to have your body tremble because of me, with desire, lust and the full emotion of your feelings, would be beyond powerful. A rush, a bliss and near to a lustings power.” His voice was husky as he spoke.

  What would your blood taste like to me?

  “When you fell from the cliff top, you were on the ground, in pain. Crying out. All I could do was bite my wrist, hold it to your lips and hope it would work. I’d seen it happen a times in my life but never by me. At first you fought it; hating it. Then, maybe it was death calling, I don’t know. You … you sucked harder, to want more and screamed it was so good. I was caught between your death experience and the knowledge it was saving you. Because your wounds were healing, I pulled you free.

  “The blood you took wasn’t much, but it was enough for you to stay attuned to me for several hours, making me twice as protective of you. In that time, I could feel your thoughts. Stronger, and across a distance, even your dreams. My blood may have been the link between your vision with Stacy and Tristan which might have awoken your powers further. As lost and confusing as your dreams were; it was nice, for I have not dreamed in so long.”

  So. If I tasted yours and you tasted mine at the same time, that’s a lusting.

  “Kera?” His voice was rough as he closed his eyes.

  I knew I hit a nerve. All I wanted to know was how it worked. He shifted, sitting up.

  I’m sorry Ethan—

  “You have nothing to apologise for.” His smile showed but it was cautious. “You are curious, and I’ve described the most desirable thing that I can experience with you, which makes it even more tempting to try. To feel the essence of love …” His eyes narrowed in thought as his lips parted with a breath, heavy as his words were, it was tempting to try, to know how and if I could feel as he did. He stood up, moving to the fire place poking the embers to life. As quiet as he was, I was caught up with what he was doing, saying, and considering we were here still.

  A rumble overhead had me look to the roof.

  “Storms here.”

  He walked to the window, glancing to the darkening sky outside. I frowned; it was dark, not late. Just on afternoon hours.

  “Looks as if it’ll be here for a while.” He mused the sky.

  I nodded, finding it strange he could move from one conversation to another with no emotion to the last—because he was a vampire. His eyes narrowed, holding with me for a moment.

  Sorry. I mumbled and rose from the lounge.

  “You don’t need to keep apologising. I should not be prying into your thoughts. I just … I am attuned to your emotions … your voice as though you have spoken. But I should not pry.” He glanced outside.

  So, you gonna go stand in it this time.

  “I do want to check around the border. Will you be okay for a little while? Shouldn’t be more than an hour.”

  Um … guess.

  Strange it would take him so long.

  He walked towards me, cupping my face, and kissing me. “I know you wish I was … more loving. I can’t let my emotions rule my actions. You are a young girl, beautiful as you are. I wish not to rush us. I like what we are, what we … have become. I don’t want to ruin that with rushing.”

  Oh, I don’t mind. Honest. I want to be with you Ethan. Always.

  “You can shower; the water is heated enough now.” He kissed me, and headed to the door. I nodded, watching as he left.

  Great. Alone for an hour.