A Struggle for Rome, v. 1
CHAPTER XX.
We will not attempt to describe the effect of this letter upon thePrefect, but will rather accompany the two friends upon one of theirevening walks on the charming shores of the Gulf of Neapolis.
After an early c[oe]na, they wandered through the city, and out of thePorta Nolana, which was still decorated with some half-ruined reliefs,illustrating the victories of one of the Roman Emperors over thebarbarians.
Totila stood still and admired the beautiful sculpture.
"Who can be that Emperor," he asked his friend, "on the car of victory,with the winged lightning in his hand, like a Jupiter Tonans?"
"That is Marcus Aurelius," said Julius, and would have walked on.
"Oh, stay a while! And who are those four prisoners in chains, with thelong waving hair, who drag the car?"
"They are Germanic Kings."
"But of what family?" asked Totila. "Look there, aninscription--'_Gothi extincti!_'--the Goths annihilated!" and, laughingloudly, the young Goth struck the marble column with the palm of hishand, and walked quickly through the gate. "A lie in marble!" he cried,looking back. "That Emperor never thought that one day a Gothic Countin Neapolis would give his boast the lie!"
"Yes, nations are like the changing leaves upon the tree," said Juliusthoughtfully. "Who will govern this land after you?"
Totila stood still.
"AFTER US?" he asked in astonishment.
"What! You do not think that your Goths will endure for ever amongstthe nations?"
"I don't know that," said Totila, walking on.
"My friend, Babylonians and Persians, Greeks and Macedonians, and, asit seems, we Romans also, had their appointed time. They flourished,ripened, and decayed. Will it be otherwise with the Goths?"
"I do not know," answered Totila uneasily. "I never thought about it.It has never occurred to me that a time might come when my nation----"He hesitated, as if it were a sin even to express the thought. "Howcan one imagine such a thing? I think as little about it as I doabout--death!"
"That is like you, my Totila."
"And it is like you, Julius, to tease yourself and others with suchdreams."
"Dreams! You forget that for me and for my nation it has already becomea reality. You forget that I am a Roman. I cannot deceive myself likemost men; it is all over with us. The sceptre has gone from us to you.It was not without much painful thought that I learned to forget thatyou, my bosom friend, are a barbarian, the enemy of my country."
"But it is not so, by the light of the sun!" interrupted Totilaeagerly. "Do I find this harsh thought in you too? Look around you!When, tell me, when has Italy ever flourished more than under ourprotection? Scarcely in the time of Augustus! You teach us science andart; we give you peace and protection. Can one imagine a finercorrelation? Harmony amongst Romans and Goths may create an entirelynew era, more splendid than has ever existed."
"Harmony! But it does not exist. You are to us a strange people,divided from us by speech and faith, by race and customs, and bycenturies of hatred. Once we robbed you of your freedom; now you haverobbed us of ours. Between us yawns a wide abyss."
"You reject my favourite idea."
"It is a dream!"
"No, it is truth. I feel it, and perhaps the time will come when I canprove it. I would build all the fabric of my life upon it."
"Then were it built upon a noble delusion. No bridge between Romans andbarbarians!"
"Then," said Totila, with some heat, "I do not understand how you canlive--how you could take me----"
"Do not complete your sentence," said Julius gravely. "It was not easy;it was most painful self-denial. Only after a sharp struggle withselfish feelings did I succeed. But at last I have ceased to live onlyin my nation. The faith which already unites Romans and barbarians asnothing else could; which more and more powerfully conquered myrepugnant reason by grief and pain--pain which turned to joy--broughtpeace to me in the conflict of my soul. In this one thing I may alreadyboast that I am a Christian; I live for mankind, not alone for mynation. I am a man, and no longer a mere Roman. Therefore I can loveyou, the barbarian, like a brother. Are we not brothers of onefamily--that of humanity? Therefore I can bear to live, even afterseeing my nation die. I live for humanity; that is my people."
"No!" cried Totila vehemently; "that I could never do. I can, and will,live only for my nation. My nationality is the air in which alone mysoul can breathe. Why should we not endure eternally, or as long asthis earth endures? Persians and Greeks? We are of better stuff! Needwe fall because they have decayed? We are still in the strength of ouryouth. Ah, no! If the day should ever come when the Goths fall, may Inot live to see it! Oh, ye gods! let us not linger like these sicklyGreeks, who cannot live and cannot die. No; if it must be, send afearful tempest, and let us perish suddenly and gloriously all, all!and I the foremost!"
He had excited himself to the warmest enthusiasm. He sprang up from themarble bench upon which they had been seated, and shook his lance inthe air.
"My friend," said Julius, looking at him kindly, "how well this ardourbecomes you! But reflect; such a conflict could only be kindled against_us_, against my nation, and should I----"
"If ever such a strife arose, you should cling to your nation, body andsoul, that is clear. You think that would interfere with ourfriendship? Not in the least. Two heroes can cleave each other to themarrow, and yet remain the best friends. Ha! I should rejoice to meetyou in battle, with spear and shield."
Julius smiled: "My friendship is not of so grim a nature, my savageGoth! These doubts have tormented me for some time, and all myphilosophers together could give me no peace. Only since I learned, inmy sorrow, that I owe service to God in heaven alone, and must, onearth, live for humanity, and not for a nation----"
"Softly, friend," cried Totila, "where is this humanity of which yourave? I do not see it. I see only Goths, Romans, and Byzantines! I knowof no humanity somewhere up in the sky, above the existing peoples. Iserve humanity by serving my nation! I cannot do otherwise. I can notstrip off the skin in which I was born. I speak like a Goth, in Gothicwords, not in a language of general humanity: there is no such thing.And as I speak like a Goth, so I feel like a Goth. I can appreciatestrange nations certainly; I can admire your art, your science, and, inpart, your state, in which everything is so strictly ordered. We canlearn much from you; but I could not and would not exchange, even witha people of angels. Ah! my brave Goths! At the bottom of my heart theirfaults are dearer to me than your virtues!"
"How differently I feel, and yet I am a Roman."
"You are no Roman! Forgive me, friend, it is long since a Romanexisted, else I could never be the Count of the Harbour of Neapolis. Noone can feel as you do, whose nation yet exists; and all must feel as Ido, who belong to a living people."
Julius was silent for a short time. "If it be indeed so, then happy I!If I have lost the earth, I have gained heaven! What are nations, whatare states, what is the earth? Not here below is the home of myimmortal soul, which longs for a kingdom where all is divine andeternal!"
"Stop, Julius," said Totila, standing still, and striking his lanceupon the ground. "Here upon earth have I a firm footing; here let mestand and live, doing good, and enjoying what is beautiful. I will notfollow you into your heaven. I cannot. I honour your dreams and yourlonging for holiness; but I do not share your feelings. You know," headded, smiling, "that I am an inveterate heathen, like Valeria--myValeria! I remember her at the right moment. Your earth-forsakingdreams make us forget the dearest things upon that earth! Look, we havereached the city again; the sun sinks rapidly here in the south, andbefore nightfall I must take some seeds to the garden of Valerius. Afine gardener," he laughed, "to forget his flowers. Farewell. I turn tothe right."
"Farewell. Greet Valeria for me. I shall go home and read."
"What are you reading now? still Plato?"
"No, Augustinus. Farewell!"