The Minister's Wooing
CHAPTER XL.
WHEN Miss Prissy left the room the Doctor sat down by the table, andcovered his face with his hands. He had a large, passionate, determinednature; and he had just come to one of those cruel crises in life, inthe which it is apt to seem to us that the whole force of our being—allthat we can hope, or wish, or feel—has been suffered to gather itselfinto one great wave, only to break upon some cold rock of inevitablefate, and go back moaning into emptiness.
In such hours men and women have cursed God and life, and thrownviolently down and trampled under their feet what yet was left oflife’s blessings in the fierce bitterness of despair. This or nothing!the soul shrieks in her frenzy.
At just such points as these men have plunged into intemperance andwild excess; they have gone to be shot down in battle; they have brokenlife, and thrown it away like an empty goblet; and gone like wailingghosts out into the dread unknown.
The possibility of all this lay in that heart which had just receivedthat stunning blow. Exercised and disciplined as he had been by yearsof sacrifice, by constant, unsleeping self-vigilance, there was risingthere in that great heart an ocean-tempest of passion; and for a whilehis cries unto God seemed as empty and as vague as the screams of birdstossed and buffeted in the clouds of mighty tempests.
The will that he thought wholly subdued seemed to rise under him as arebellious giant. A few hours before he thought himself establishedin an invincible submission to God that nothing could shake. Now, helooked into himself as into a seething vortex of rebellion; and againstall the passionate cries of his lower nature, he could only (in thelanguage of an old saint) ‘cling to God by the naked force of hiswill.’ That will was as determined and firm as that of Aaron Burr. Itrested unmelted amid the boiling sea of passion, waiting its hour ofrenewed sway. He walked the room for hours; and then sat down to hisBible, and wakened once or twice to find his head leaning on its pages,and his mind far gone in thoughts from which he woke with a bitterthrob. Then he determined to set himself to some definite work; andtaking his Concordance, began busily tracing out and numbering all theproof-texts for one of the chapters of his theological system; till atlast he worked himself down to such calmness that he could pray; andthen he schooled and reasoned with himself in a style not unlike, inits spirit, to what a great modern author has addressed to sufferinghumanity,—‘What is it that thou art fretting and self-tormenting about?Is it because _thou_ art not happy? Who told thee that thou wast to behappy? Is there any ordinance of the universe that _thou_ shouldst behappy? Art thou nothing but a vulture screaming for prey? Canst thounot do without happiness? Yea, thou canst do without happiness, andinstead thereof find blessedness.’
The Doctor came lastly to the conclusion that ‘_blessedness_,’ whichwas all the portion his Master had on earth, might do for him also. Andtherefore he kissed and blessed that silver dove of happiness, which hesaw was weary of sailing in his clumsy old ark, and let it go out ofhis hand without a tear.
He slept little that night, but when he came to breakfast all noticedan unusual gentleness and benignity of manner; and Mary, she knew notwhy, saw tears rising in his eyes when he looked at her.
After breakfast he requested Mrs. Scudder to step with him into hisstudy; and Miss Prissy shook in her little shoes as she saw the matronentering. The door was shut for a long time, and two voices could beheard in earnest conversation.
Meanwhile James Marvyn entered the cottage, prompt to remind Mary ofher promise, that she would talk with him again this morning.
They had talked with each other but a few moments, by thesweetbriar-shaded window in the best room, when Mrs. Scudder appearedat the door of the apartment, with traces of tears upon her cheeks.‘Good morning, James,’ she said. ‘The Doctor wishes to see you and Marya moment together.’ Both looked sufficiently astounded, knowing fromMrs. Scudder’s looks that something was impending. They followed Mrs.Scudder, scarcely feeling the ground they trod on.
_The Sacrifice_
_Page, 347._
Sampson, Low, Son & Co. Sept. 20th, 1859.]
The Doctor was sitting at his table with his favourite large-printBible open before him. He rose to receive them with a manner at oncegentle and grave. There was a pause of some minutes, during which hesat with his head leaning upon his hand. ‘You all know,’ he said,turning towards Mary who sat very near him, ‘the near and dear relationin which I have been expected to stand towards this friend; I shouldnot have been worthy of that relation if I had not felt in my heart thetrue love of a husband as set forth in the New Testament; who should“love his wife even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself forit;” and if in case any peril or danger threatened this dear soul, andI could not give myself for her, I had never been worthy the honourshe has done me. For I take it, wherever there is a cross or burden tobe borne by one or the other, that the man who is made in the image ofGod, as to strength and endurance, should take it upon himself, and notlay it upon her that is weaker; for he is therefore strong, not thathe may tyrannize over the weak, but bear their burdens for them, evenas Christ for His church. I have just discovered,’ he added, lookingkindly upon Mary, ‘that there is a great cross and burden which mustcome, either on this dear child or on myself, through no fault ofeither of us, but through God’s good providence; and, therefore, let_me_ bear it.
‘Mary, my dear child,’ he said, ‘I will be to thee as a father; but Iwill not force thy heart.’
At this moment, Mary, by a sudden, impulsive movement, threw her armsaround his neck and kissed him, and lay sobbing on his shoulder. ‘No,no,’ she said, ‘I will marry you as I said.’
‘Not if I will not, dear,’ he said, with a benign smile. ‘Come here,young man,’ he said, with some authority, to James, ‘I give theethis maiden to wife,’ and he lifted her from his shoulder and placedher gently in the arms of the young man, who, overawed and overcome,pressed her silently to his heart. ‘There, children, it is over,’ hesaid. ‘God bless you!’
‘Take her away,’ he added, ‘she will be more composed soon.’
Before James left, he grasped the Doctor’s hand in his and said, ‘Sir,this tells on my heart more than any sermon you ever preached, I shallnever forget it. God bless you, sir!’
The Doctor saw them slowly quit the apartment, and following them,closed the door, and thus ended
THE MINISTER’S WOOING.