Paper Hearts

  After the car was unloaded, Kelsey showed us upstairs. Even though I’d taken a nap, my eyelids were heavy as we shuffled up the creaky wooden stairs. Asha and I took the larger guest room, which had a queen-size bed we could share, leaving Alec and Boomer to battle over who got the remaining bed and who was left with the sleeper sofa. Knowing Alec, he’d be too polite to fight Boomer for the better sleeping arrangement.

  “Thanks for coming with me today,” I whispered to Asha after we’d pulled on our pajamas and climbed into bed. “And, you know, being annoyingly persistent and talking sense into me.”

  She reached out across the mattress and squeezed my hand. “What are sisters for?”

  Chapter 11

  I woke to the warmth of the rising sun on my face and an empty bed.

  Years of sleepovers had taught me that Asha was not a light sleeper. Violent was a better description. More often than not, I’d be jolted awake by a wandering elbow or jerking knee. And in the morning, pillows would spot the floor like wounded soldiers on a battlefield, while the sheets were twisted and yanked away from the mattress corners.

  But this morning, Asha’s side of the bed looked nothing like the war zone I was used to. Her half of the comforter was only slightly rumpled, all her pillows were accounted for, and the sheets were still intact. Maybe she was so exhausted from traveling that there had been no energy left for her usual tossing and turning? Or maybe being in a strange bed kept her from falling asleep?

  Whatever the case, she was most likely on a morning run, and I wanted to hop in the shower before she returned. Another thing I’d learned from our hundreds of sleepovers? Asha had a talent for using up all the hot water.

  Crouching beside my duffel, I rummaged through my limited wardrobe in search of an outfit. My best option was a casual white sundress that belted at the waist, which hopefully wouldn’t look ridiculous with my Keds. I folded the dress over my arm, grabbed my toiletry bag, and stepped into the hall. As I was making my way toward the bathroom, I heard a voice.

  “I don’t understand why you’re so angry about this. I said I was sorry.”

  It was Alec. He sounded upset. The door to the office was ajar, but I knew this was a private conversation. I picked up my pace with the intention of speeding past his room, but the next words out of his mouth made me pause.

  “Violet and I are tight, so I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

  Was he talking about Violet James? I leaned in and cocked an ear to hear better.

  “What?” he exclaimed, his voice turning sharp. “My own self-interests? Are you serious?” There was a long pause. “But we made a deal. I did everything you asked!” Another pause. “No, don’t feed me that bullshit. It’s just more lies… Yeah, whatever. Screw you.”

  The next few seconds passed in silence, and realizing the conversation was over, I jerked upright. Are you seriously spying on Alec right now? Embarrassed with myself, I begin to slink away. Because honestly. How mortifying would it be if he caught me snooping outside his door?

  “Hey, Vi. It’s me,” he said suddenly, and I froze again. “I know you left for Paris this morning, but can you call me back when you get this message? We need to talk. Miss you. Bye.”

  I sucked in a deep breath. Vi? I didn’t realize the two were on a nickname level of closeness. How tight were they?

  There was movement inside Alec’s room, and before I had time to give anything I’d heard a second thought, he pulled back the door. For a beat we both stood there, staring at each other.

  Alec was the kind of person who looked like a magazine spread come to life: perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect smile. I’d never imagined him as anything less than camera ready, but now he was looking more human than ever before. He was sporting athletic shorts and a white T-shirt worn thin with love. But more startling than seeing Alec Williams in his pajamas was the state of his hair. Like the plastic locks of a Ken doll, his hair was always orderly—bangs swept up and styled, every strand accounted for. Not today. Spikes of platinum shot in every direction as if he’d fought with his pillow in the middle of the night and lost. It made him seem younger, and it was more endearing than I was prepared for.

  “Felicity?” He frowned at me. “What are you doing?”

  I grimaced as the tingling sensation of embarrassment swept across my face. “Ah, hey. Sorry to intrude. I heard that you were up and I, um…” I was struggling to come up with a good excuse for why I was lurking outside his room. It was too early in the morning for quick thinking, and I hadn’t had my daily dose of caffeine.

  Oh, coffee!

  “There’s a Starbucks down the block,” I said. “I saw it on our way in last night. I was thinking of picking up coffee for everybody. As a thank-you to Kelsey for everything. Want to come with me?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Awesome. I’m going to shower before Asha snags it. Give me half an hour?”

  “Okay. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  Twenty minutes later, I was clean and ready to go, but Asha had yet to return. Maybe her run had turned into a sightseeing opportunity? Her phone was charging on the nightstand, so I couldn’t text her, not that she’d respond anyway. She never did while running.

  Maybe she told Boomer where she went?

  That wasn’t likely, considering he was a grouch any time before noon, but it wouldn’t hurt to check.

  The second guest room was still wrapped in darkness when I inched open the door. The curtains were drawn tight to keep the morning out, and when I stuck my head in, light from the hall cut a swatch of golden warmth across the carpet. Even before my eyes adjusted to the gloom, I knew something was off. I pushed into the room, and as I approached the bed, I reeled at the sight before me. A heap of clothes on the floor, tangled arms and bare skin, a coil of charcoal hair spread across Boomer’s chest like a drop of ink in water.

  I had to process each image individually before my brain could fully grasp what my eyes were seeing. My best friend was in bed with my other best friend.

  Asha and Boomer.

  Boomer and Asha.

  A wave of shock rolled through me, leaving me speechless.

  The light must have woken Asha, because she lifted her head off Boomer’s shoulder and blinked at me. We stared at each other. Thankfully, all the parts of the two of them that I never wanted to see were covered by the comforter, but Asha hitched the blanket up to her chin and elbowed Boomer awake.

  “Wha…?” he mumbled, but didn’t open his eyes. She tried again, nudging until he sat up. “The hell, Asha? It’s too early.”

  Still speechless, she raised a hand and pointed at me. Boomer’s gaze followed the direction of her finger. Emotion flashed across his face like a flip-book—from shocked to panicked to guilty as charged.

  A strained silence dragged out between us, but I refused to be the one to break it.

  After another tooth-grinding moment, Boomer reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, fuck.”

  I opened my mouth, but all that came out were the choked beginnings of laughter as hysteric anger billowed inside my chest. “That’s all you have to say?” I sputtered.

  Boomer lifted a shoulder, equal parts apologetic and blasé. “What do you expect? It’s not like we wanted you to find out this way.”

  “No.” Shaking my head, I held up a hand to stop any further explanation. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

  There was already enough on my plate with Rose and the letters and Stanford. It was impossible to imagine squeezing my friends’ love life on there as well. My feet were moving before I realized it. I had to put space between myself and the situation so I could think.

  “Wait, Felicity!” Asha cried as I fled the room, but I didn’t stop.

  • • •

  Alec was already by the front door when I rushed down the stairs five minutes early.
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  “What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling out his headphones.

  “Can we just get out of here?” I glanced over my shoulder to see if my friends were following, but the landing at the top of the steps was empty. “I’ll tell you on the way.”

  In contrast to my mood, the weather was perfect—sunny enough to warm my skin, but not so hot that I was constantly plucking at my dress. As we made our way up the sidewalk, I pushed on my favorite sunglasses (a pair of electric-blue cat eyes I’d bought at Dollar Discount and jazzed up by splatter painting the frames), and explained how I’d found Asha in bed with Boomer.

  “Wait. You didn’t know they were together?” Alec asked, not bothering to keep the surprise from his voice.

  I froze on the sidewalk. “Are you saying you did?”

  He nodded.

  God, I was such an idiot. The biggest of idiots. How was it possible that Alec, who’d known Asha and Boomer for less than two days, had figured out they were together? I was the person who supposedly knew them the best. How had I missed the chemistry between them?

  “Why didn’t you say anything to me?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry, Felicity. I figured you knew.”

  “Don’t be sorry. You’re not the one who should be apologizing.”

  “You’re mad at them?”

  “Yes!” I said. Then, “No. Ugh, I don’t know.” I sank my fingers into my still-damp hair.

  You’re not angry with them, I tried to convince myself. Don’t be a petty, narrow-minded person who can’t be happy for her friends.

  But I couldn’t stop seeing the image of them tangled together in bed. And then I remembered how strange the two of them had acted when they got to my house yesterday, the vague answer Boomer gave when I asked how they’d arrived so quickly, how Asha wouldn’t look me in the eye. They’d been hanging out as a couple.

  “Hey,” Alec said, taking both my wrists in his hands. He gently dislodged my fingers from my hair before I pulled a chunk out in frustration. “Why don’t we get some coffee, and then we can figure everything out, yeah?”

  I sighed in lieu of responding, but started walking again.

  He was quiet for the rest of our stroll, which I appreciated. I knew he was trying to figure out what to say to cheer me up, and his company alone was enough to comfort me. By the time we reached the end of the street, the anger and confusion pumping through my system had run its course, and only then did I realize that one of my hands was still clutched in his.

  I stared down at our entwined fingers, suddenly aware that we probably looked like a couple. Which made me wonder exactly what we were to each other. More than friends, obviously. There was no way I could deny the connection I felt with him. But at the same time, we hadn’t known each other very long. Then there was the matter of who he was, because even if this spark between us blossomed into something more, the longevity of a relationship didn’t seem likely. Not with his career. And besides, I had college and my future to consider. Was committing to a relationship even practical at this point in my life?

  Am I being ridiculous thinking about all this?

  I was lost inside my head, but the bell above the door at Starbucks brought me back to the present. The place was relatively empty for a Saturday morning. The only customers were a couple splitting a blueberry scone and an elderly man reading a newspaper. A bored-looking employee barely looked up from his phone as we approached the counter.

  “You know what you want?” Alec asked as he inspected the glass display case filled with pastries.

  I glanced at the menu hanging overhead. “I’ll have an iced coffee and a fruit parfait,” I said, choosing the first items I saw.

  “Anything for the traitors?” he joked.

  My lips pursed. I was tempted to say no, but denying someone their morning coffee was a punishment no one deserved. “Get them each a dark roast.”

  “Okay.” He studied the assortment of baked goods for a moment longer and then moved toward the cash register. The guy behind the counter was still focused on his phone, so Alec cleared his throat. “Um, hi. Can I please have a grande iced coffee, two grande dark roasts, an espresso, one of those parfait things, a chocolate-chip bagel, and a box of assorted muffins? Oh, and cream cheese.”

  The boy raised an eyebrow as if surprised by the length of Alec’s order, but he got to work without a word. When he finished, we found a table on the sidewalk patio and ate our breakfast in the sun.

  “So,” Alec said, cutting his bagel in half. “Is there something specific that bothers you about Asha and Boomer dating?”

  I considered his question, and by the time I’d come up with an answer, I’d inhaled half of my parfait. “It’s not them being together that’s upsetting. It’s that they hid it from me. It feels like…I don’t know, betrayal?”

  Alec nodded, but said, “They care about you, Felicity. A lot. I doubt they wanted to hurt you.”

  “I know that.” It was the truth—Asha and Boomer would never purposely be mean to me. “I just don’t understand why they kept it a secret. It’s not like I want them to be unhappy. Did they think I’d get upset?”

  “But you are upset.” He tore open his packet of cream cheese.

  “Not because they’re together,” I said, scooping up a spoonful of blueberries, which I’d saved for last. “I’m upset because they didn’t trust me to be happy for them.”

  “I don’t think it was about trust, Fel.”

  More bitter words were poised on my tongue, but I stopped. Alec had called me by my nickname. Not Felicity, just Fel, and it thawed me.

  Sighing, I let my bitterness go. “Then what, Alec?”

  “They’re probably afraid. Both of hurting you and messing up your friendship.”

  “So what do I do?”

  “Talk to them.”

  “Well, I knew that,” I said. “It’s not like I can avoid them forever. We’re going to be stuck in the car all day.”

  “We can always leave them here in San Francisco,” he deadpanned. His face was so serious that, if I didn’t know better, I would have believed him. “Or tie them up in the trunk. Whichever you prefer.”

  • • •

  Our walk back to Kelsey’s was silent, and by the time we reached the red-and-pink house, I felt like a steel pinball had been launched inside my chest. The two lovebirds were sitting on the front steps. Asha had her chin propped up in her hands, and she looked absolutely miserable.

  Fingers brushed softly against the back of my hand. “Don’t worry,” Alec whispered. “It will be fine.”

  I sure hoped so. Otherwise, this was going to be a long trip. I nodded at him before making my way toward my friends.

  Nobody said anything when I arrived at the base of the stairs. Boomer somehow managed to look small as he sat behind Asha. He leaned forward and took her hand in his, and she let out a raspy sigh as their fingers folded together. Her eyes were glassy, and the sight of my best friend on the verge of tears made my throat ache.

  What could I possibly say to relieve the tension? This was all so awkward, and I didn’t know how to begin the conversation.

  Boomer cleared his throat. “We’re so sorry, Felicity.”

  I let out a long sigh. “Yeah, me too.”

  “Please don’t apologize,” Asha replied. “It will only make me feel more guilty.”

  “But I am sorry,” I said. “I snapped at you guys without giving you a chance to—”

  “No.” The word came out firm. “We’re the ones who should be apologizing. We shouldn’t have kept something this big from you.”

  “We had every intention of telling you,” Boomer added. “It’s just… We didn’t know…” His voice trailed off, and he pushed his hair back. “There was no good way. We were going to say something yesterday when we got to your house, but then you showed us the letters, and it
didn’t feel like the right time.”

  I stared up at the house’s decorative red trim as I processed his explanation. “I get it. I mean, I wish you hadn’t been so afraid to tell me, because I really am happy for you.”

  “You weren’t this morning,” Boomer pointed out.

  “Yeah, well—it was a shock.”

  “For us too. Both our relationship and…um, you catching us.”

  Our relationship. As in the two of them dating. This would take some getting used to. “So…” I said slowly. “How did it happen?”

  Boomer shrugged lazily. “Dunno. It just did.”

  Asha frowned at his response. “Felicity, don’t take this the wrong way, but between studying, working at the diner, and all the volunteer hours…you haven’t had much time to hang out. Do you remember the last time we did Monday movie night, all three of us?”

  I flinched. “Earlier this month?”

  “Not since May.”

  God. Had it really been that long?

  “I’m a shitty friend,” I said, hanging my head.

  “No, no!” Asha exclaimed. “We understand, Fel. Really, we do. Getting into Stanford is your top priority right now, and while you being busy all the time majorly sucks, Boomer and I started hanging out solo, and…I don’t know, things just happened.”

  “How long?” My voice was thin with apprehension. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to hear the answer.

  It was Asha’s turn to flinch. “Since June.”

  I blinked at the two of them. “You guys have been dating for two months?”

  “Technically, we didn’t start dating until a few weeks ago. Fourteen days to be exact,” she said in a rush. “Before that we were casually making out and stuff.”

  I held up a hand. “Okay, stop.” I didn’t need to hear about the two of them making out and stuff. “Too much information.”

  We all stared at one another until a sheepish grin tugged at Boomer’s lips. He laughed, and then, without any volition on my part, I was laughing too. Like a thawing lake, the tension separating us cracked and dissolved. Asha got up from her spot on the steps and pulled me into a hug.