Paper Hearts

  Rose stayed in LA until Wednesday to act as the buffer between Mom and me. It was surreal having her home, like I’d woken up inside a memory from before she disappeared. I knew her time with us wouldn’t last forever—she had a job and Nicoli to get back to—and when she returned to Seattle, it was like being wrenched from a perfect dream.

  But Rose gave me her word she’d visit soon, and until then, I made do by calling her every night. Yesterday, we’d spent over an hour on the phone, with Rose recounting some of her exciting travel adventures. Like the time she ran with the bulls in Spain or the week she spent sleeping in a hammock on an Amazonian riverboat. I wished I had as thrilling an experience to share with her, but the most interesting thing to happen to me was meeting Alec.

  A knock on my bedroom door made me jump.

  “Honey, what time do you get off work tonight?” Mom asked. She was dressed for a night out: red dress, killer heels, Brazilian blowout. Her favorite necklace sparkled at her throat, and as she stood in the doorway surveying my room, she slipped in the matching earrings, one golden hoop at a time.

  I was hunched over by my closet, shifting through a pile of dirty clothes. My waitressing apron had to be around here somewhere… I needed to be at the Electric Waffle in thirty minutes, and I couldn’t be late. Miss Daisy had let me keep my job even though I missed my shift while in Seattle, but I was on a probationary period.

  “I’ll be done around eight,” I said as I spotted one of the long, black ties poking out from underneath my dresser. I grabbed the garment and straightened up.

  “And what are the rules?”

  I forced myself not to roll my eyes. “Go to work. Come home. Go nowhere else.”

  “Good.” She nodded in approval. “If you need anything, I’ll have my cell. I love you, Felicity.”

  “Love you too. Have fun.”

  Tonight was the first time since my grounding that my jailer was leaving me unsupervised for an entire evening. To save money, Mom had decided to skip throwing an engagement party. She still wanted to honor the event, so Dave was taking her to a fancy hotel where they could have their own private celebration. Which meant I had free rein of the house until tomorrow, although Mom would probably call every hour on the hour and have one of the neighbors check on me. Because clearly I was going to do something evil like plot world domination.

  Basically, things between the two of us were still tense.

  I wasn’t ready to forgive her for tearing Rose out of my life, and even when that day came, it would take a long time for our relationship to heal. But I was doing my best to be civil. I knew Mom wanted her upcoming nuptials to be a fresh start for all of us, a way to become a family again and move forward. I wasn’t going to sabotage that. I just needed time.

  When she was gone, my comforter flew back and Asha sat up in bed. “Man! That was way too close. This whole grounded thing is cramping my style.”

  “Maybe she’ll loosen up next week when school starts,” I said, although I seriously doubted it. Mom was treating my transgression like a capital offense, one that would only be forgiven when I finished serving my time. Anticipating freedom anytime soon was wishful thinking on my part.

  Despite how frustrating and foreign being grounded was, there was an upside: it gave me time to focus on myself. Instead of moping around the house, I’d created an account on Etsy—an online marketplace where people could sell and buy handmade goods—and spent hours designing jewelry. I didn’t expect to become the next Tiffany & Company, but who knew? Maybe I’d turn enough of a profit to help pay my tuition. Or at the very least, my books.

  Taking Oliver’s suggestion to sell my work hadn’t occurred to me right away, but after spending my first night home lying awake in bed and stewing over what happened between Alec and me, I knew I needed a better distraction than ACT prep. Jewelry was an easy answer.

  “Hopefully. I’m sick of sneaking in through the window.” Asha stood and made her way over to my desk. The magazines featuring me and Alec leaving the masquerade were still stacked in a pile, and she paged through the one on top. “So…talk to anyone interesting lately?”

  God, she was relentless.

  “If you’re referring to Alec, then no. We haven’t spoken since Seattle, and I intend to keep it that way.” Asha opened her mouth to deliver what I knew would be a long-winded speech on how I was making the biggest mistake ever, but before she could get a word in, I waved her off. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ve already heard what you have to say. Repeating it for the billionth time won’t change my mind.”

  With a flick of her wrist, she slapped the tabloid shut. “Why are you so freaking stubborn?”

  I’m the one being stubborn? I resisted the urge to laugh.

  “I just want to move on with my life,” I told her, my tone souring. “Why is that so hard to understand?”

  “Because you guys belong together.” Asha pushed back her bangs, like she was trying to think of the best way to phrase whatever was bothering her. “Felicity, you’re so deep in denial that I feel like I’m watching a rom-com. Right now, we’re at the part after boy-loses-girl where the female lead refuses to admit how perfect they are for each other. And then there’s me, screaming at the TV because she’s being so dumb.”

  “Did you just call me dumb?” I asked.

  “Maybe.” She grinned, but when I didn’t smile back, Asha turned serious again. “I want you to be happy, Fel, but I think you’re using what happened between you and your mom as an excuse to cut Alec out of your life.”

  Rather than responding, I rifled through my bag in search of my name tag. The small plastic badge was in the zippered pocket where I always kept it, but pretending to be busy was easier than answering.

  “Please say something,” she pleaded. “You’re never going to be able to move on if you avoid this subject forever.”

  I wasn’t avoiding the subject. I thought about Alec all the time. Not on purpose, of course. Memories of our trip together were painful. But it was difficult to keep my mind from wandering to Alec when my heart still ached for him. Every day I was forced to face my feelings—anger and hurt and longing—because there was no other option. The only thing I was intentionally choosing to avoid was Asha. Couldn’t she see that her constant badgering prolonged my healing process? Just when I thought the hole in my chest was starting to close, she’d wrench the wound back open.

  “I cut Alec out of my life because he didn’t deserve to be a part of it anymore,” I said, lifting the strap of my bag over my head. I pulled my curls out of the way and headed toward the hall. “My mom has nothing to do with it.”

  Asha blocked my path. “Bullshit. You’re so terrified of being lied to again that you pushed him away so he’d never have the opportunity to do the same thing.”

  “But he did lie to me.” My words had more of a bite than I intended, and when her face fell, I instantly regretted snapping at her. “Look, I’m sorry, but I have to get to work. Can we talk about this later?”

  Sighing in defeat, Asha stepped away from the door. “Fine, but it goes without saying that there’s only one person in this situation who isn’t being honest, and it’s not Alec. Stop lying to yourself, Felicity.”

  • • •

  It was a slow night at the Electric Waffle.

  Miss Daisy lent me her laptop during the downtime so I could research different college options. While I still intended to submit an application to Stanford, my plans for the future were shifting, and I had to adapt to those changes. I already knew I was going to apply to UCLA. Tuition there was nothing compared to Stanford, and I could live at home to cut down on the cost. The Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising was in LA as well, and it offered one of the top metal and jewelry art programs in the country. I was also looking into schools in Seattle, because it would be nice to have Rose in my life again full time.

  But t
he fact of the matter was, I had no clue where I would end up next fall—and I was okay with that. While nerve-racking, the uncertainty of not knowing was thrilling in a way I hadn’t anticipated. I felt like the world was spread out in front of me, and all I had to do was pick which direction to go.

  I was so absorbed in my work that I didn’t notice her until she slid into the booth across from me. As I looked up, she pulled her sunglasses off and shook out her hair.

  “Well,” said Violet James, smiling as she gave me a once-over. “I suppose we do look alike.”

  I didn’t know what to say. From the smirk on her face, I got the feeling that her sudden appearance was meant to shock me.

  “Um, hi.” I shut Miss Daisy’s laptop and pushed it away, eyeing Violet with a healthy dose of distrust. “Can I help you with something?”

  “Actually, yes. I’m here about Alec.”

  “You can stop right there,” I said before she launched into the whole he’s mine speech. “You don’t have to worry about me. I know you two are together, and I won’t get in the way of that.”

  Violet blinked as if I’d sprouted a pair of horns and giggled.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  “We’re not dating.” There was this little grin on her face as if she found the idea amusing.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “We’re strictly friends,” she clarified. “Our moms were college roommates, so we grew up together. Alec is like a little brother to me. He’s producing my first album.”

  Her response made me pause, and I remembered a conversation I’d had with Alec in his car on the way to San Francisco. Last month, I got him to agree to let me produce a record for this new client he’s signing.

  “Wait,” I said, my eyes bulging. “You’re King’s new client?”

  She lifted her nose as if the idea disgusted her. “Not anymore. That man is a complete dick.”

  “Okay…” I scratched my head. “Definitely not following.”

  “It’s kind of a long story,” she responded, but I had a feeling Violet came here for the sole purpose of telling said story, so I lifted a brow and waited.

  “Immortal Nights is on its last season, and I needed a break from the whole acting thing,” she explained. “I’m interested in launching a music career, so earlier this summer I asked Alec for his help. We spent a weekend putzing around in his dad’s studio, and after King listened to the track we laid down, he offered to sign me. At first, I was hesitant because I’ve heard some not-so-good rumors about King. But he agreed to let Alec produce the album, so I decided to give Mongo a shot. Then, about two weeks ago, King suddenly changed his mind. Told Alec he wasn’t responsible enough to work on the project.”

  My head jerked back. Two weeks ago was when Alec skipped his dad’s barbecue. I knew bailing on the party had created tension between the two, but I never considered what Alec had lost because of it.

  This was all my fault. I never should have allowed him to drive me to San Francisco.

  “Total bull, right?” Violet said as she took in my expression. “If you ask me, King was looking for an excuse to run the show, but not working with Alec was a deal breaker for me. He’s actually excited about my music. King just sees me as a giant payday.”

  “So what happened?”

  “Well, I hadn’t signed the contract yet and my agent was in contact with a different producer, so I backed out. Which totally sucked, because Alec and I had already done a bunch of brainstorming.”

  A terrible thought took root at the back of my mind. “Alec begged you to reconsider, didn’t he?” I asked.

  “Yup. He was in Seattle so we couldn’t talk in person, but he convinced me to wait until we could sit down together before making any major decisions.”

  My stomach twisted. The conversation I’d overheard at Rose’s wasn’t Alec fighting for his relationship, it was him fighting for what he loved most: music. I swallowed and tried not to be sick.

  “I refuse to work with King, and Alec is sick of the way his father treats him, so we came up with a kickass solution. Alec created his own record label.” She smiled like a proud mom. “Once all the legal stuff is sorted out, I’ll be the first artist he signs.”

  “He really went against his dad like that?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, he’s risking a lot for me—his relationship with his father, his career. But that’s the kind of a person he is.” Violet paused for the briefest of moments and leaned in toward the table. “Listen, Felicity. I don’t know what happened between you two, because Alec hasn’t been forthcoming. But I do know that he misses you.”

  For a long time I said nothing.

  Asha had been right. Right about Alec not dating Violet. And about me pushing him away so I wouldn’t get hurt. About everything, really. The realization of what I’d thrown away knifed through me with sharp, blinding pain.

  “I miss him too,” I admitted.

  Violet’s eyes sparkled with excitement, like my response was the best thing she’d ever heard. “So call him. Trust me. He wants to hear from you.”

  Yeah, right. Thinking about what I’d said to him made me cringe. There would be no coming back from that. Alec probably hated me.

  “I know you’re only trying to help,” I told her, “but I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I said some pretty awful stuff, and I just… I don’t think things will ever feel the same between us.”

  “All right,” Violet said, holding up both hands. “It’s not my business to push.” She lifted her purse onto the table and rummaged through it. “Before I go, I have something for you. Alec mentioned returning this, but I don’t think he ever planned to.”

  Her purse was huge, almost as big as my messenger bag, and whatever she was searching for was buried. Frustrated, Violet turned it over and dumped out the contents. A wallet, more tubes of lipstick than I could count, and her phone clattered to the table, along with my travel copy of To Kill a Mockingbird.

  “Ah, here it is,” she said, sliding the book over to me.

  But I wasn’t listening. Because together with all her stuff, there was a scattering of origami hearts.

  “Where did you get those?” I asked, scooping one up. On closer inspection, I realized it was made out of a music sheet.

  “Oh, Alec makes them,” she said with a dismissive wave. As if they meant nothing. “He watched a YouTube video on it when we were in the studio last week, and he’s been obsessed with them ever since. You can keep one if you like. I’ve got a million of them.” Violet repacked her purse before pushing her sunglasses back into place and sliding out of the booth. “Well, I should get going. I have a radio interview tomorrow to prepare for, and I haven’t looked at the questions yet. It was nice meeting you, Felicity.”

  Too stunned to respond, I could only stare down at the heart in my hand. The last time I sat at this booth, Alec had found one of Rose’s foldings, and it had been a gut-wrenching experience. But this? The light tingling working its way through my limbs? It was an altogether different feeling. Like finding my sister’s letters, the paper heart I was holding sparked a flicker of hope inside me. What if there was a chance Alec would forgive me after all?

  A sudden sense of urgency ripped through me. I needed to make things right.

  But how?

  This wasn’t the kind of problem I could fix with a phone call. Alec deserved more than that. He deserved an apology in person. For a second, I considered chasing down Violet to have her arrange a meeting, but then I got a better idea. I scrolled through my contacts and texted the one person who might be able to help me.

  Felicity: Hey, this is Felicity Lyon. We met the other weekend? I know me texting you is kind of weird, but I need your help.

  There was a huge possibility that he wouldn’t respond, especially considering how I’d treated his friend, but I held my breath as I wa
ited for an answer.

  A minute later my phone buzzed.

  007: Lol. I remember who you are, Felicity. What’s up?

  Felicity: I screwed things up with Alec. I need to apologize, but I want to do it in person.

  007: I have an idea, but you’ll need a nice dress.

  I smiled to myself. I knew just the one.

  • • •

  Oliver’s plan was gutsy.

  It required me to sneak out of the house, and considering I was on thin ice with my mom, it was also reckless. But to win Alec back, I was down for anything. I pulled an all-nighter in preparation, finishing both my mockingbird necklace and the jewelry Oliver had ordered for Stella, and at four o’clock sharp the next afternoon, I grabbed my messenger bag and crawled out the window. Mom would discover my absence as soon as dinnertime rolled around, so I’d left a note on my desk in explanation. Whatever punishment she threw my way would be worth it if I could put right the mess I’d made.

  I squeezed through the bushes as carefully as I could, and once I broke free of the tangle, I tore across the lawn toward a limo idling at the curb.

  Great, that doesn’t stick out at all…

  I spared a quick glance back at my house. The curtains on the front window were wide open, and I was suddenly nervous that my mom might look out. I should’ve told Oliver to pick me up around the corner or, better yet, in a vehicle that wasn’t so extravagant. Because, honestly. Was a limousine really necessary?

  When I reached the car, I yanked on the handle in my hurry to get inside. The door flung open, and I all but tumbled onto the grass. A familiar snicker greeted me.

  “Excited to see me, I see.”

  JJ was sitting in the seat nearest the door. His long legs were stretched out in front of him, preventing me from climbing inside. The smirk on his face made me want to take a deep breath and count to ten, a moment of mental preparation since I would be spending most of the evening with him, but there was no time. Waving my hand in a shooing gesture, I motioned for him to scoot in.

  “Hi to you too,” he grumbled, but he unbuckled his seat belt and slid over next to Xander, who smiled at me in greeting.