Life Through His Eyes
the first time he introduces Mauricio to a stranger. And not any stranger but the woman with the prettiest smile he has ever seen.
“Hello, Felipe. I am Isabel and this is my son, Lucas,” and now gazing up at Mauricio, she continues: “Nice to meet you, Mauricio.”
Mauricio was so tense he couldn’t say a word; he just waived clumsily and offered a silly smile. Isabel not only has the prettiest smile but the greenest eyes too. Mauricio was so distracted by these series of events he didn’t become aware of the young man at the other side of the counter, asking for the fifth time what was he going to order. Stammering, Mauricio ordered two slides of cheese pizza, completely forgetting he hates plain cheese pizza. He was about to turn his gaze toward pretty Isabel to continue the conversation when Felipe, now clearly out of control and agitated, jumps toward the counter and starts talking to the young man on the other side:
“Hi! My name is Felipe and this is my dad, Mauricio! This is my favorite pizza place. Which pizza do you like the most? Do you eat pizza every day?” he was talking non-stop and almost yelling; this was not a good sign. The young man looked at Felipe with a sickening look and simply turned his face away, looking to the opposite side while the pizzas were being warmed up in the brick oven behind him. Mauricio felt like somebody punched him in the heart. He knows his son is not as just any other kid. His son is special, they had told him since the moment he was born. His life would be special and not easy. He understands Felipe can make people uncomfortable with his behavior, but seeing with his own eyes how his son is so bluntly rejected and repulsed makes his chest tighten with sadness.
Mauricio is just staring at the floor, still recovering from the dreadful feeling he just experienced, when he remembered Isabel. He looks up and catches sight of Isabel looking directly at the young man, who is still ignoring Felipe’s questions and Felipe as a person. She has the saddest look in her eyes, as if she’s not able to comprehend the young man’s insensibility. At the same time, another associate delivers Isabel’s order, which she grabs with one hand, still holding his son’s hand with the other one.
Felipe is now jumping around and greeting the rest of the people in the line, which at this point has become populated. Mauricio is still staring at Isabel when she holds up her gaze and their eyes met.
“Goodbye,” she said with a smile.
“Goodbye,” Mauricio dared to say. Then, she looks like she’s searching for someone when her green eyes locate Felipe, a few steps away from where they first met.
“Goodbye, Felipe! Nice meeting you!” Isabel shouted toward Felipe, who turned around and with a colossal smile, waved goodbye and quickly went back to jumping and talking to himself. Suddenly, she drops her son’s hand liberating her own left hand, waving goodbye, and there it was: superb and impertinent, Isabel’s wedding band.
“Of course…” Mauricio thought and immediately turned his back to her, now facing to the young man behind the counter who was already handling him his order and waiting for him to pay.
Felipe ate his slide of pizza, still uneasy and talking non-stop. Mauricio wasn’t really hungry but took a couple of bites of his cheese pizza, which tasted sour to him.
They walked a little more after lunch and then went home.
That night, after dinner, Felipe took his medicine, brushed his teeth and went to bed. He needs to get some rest and be ready for school the next day.
Mauricio, troubled by the events of the day, grabs the phone to make a call.
“Hello,” says the woman on the other side.
“Hi, mom, it’s me,” whispers Mauricio, rubbing both eyes at the same time with his right thumb and index fingers.
“How are you doing, son? How’s Felipe?”
“She never wanted him, mom. This is all her fault,” Mauricio doesn’t make any efforts to hide the anger in his tone.
“Oh, my love. You have got to let this go. Seriously, Mauricio, it’s been 10 years!” His mom doesn’t try to hide her impatience either.
“I am not complaining about my son, he’s the best thing I’ve got. But I can’t get over the fact that she made him like this. She never wanted him since the beginning. His arrival was an inconvenience to her and she did everything she could to lose him, but God had mercy and he came through. Broken, but he came through.”
“Did something happen today? Why are you so upset?”
“Nothing happened; same as always. It’s just not fair; not fair to him. Growing up like a special child in an unkind world that doesn’t deserve special children. Being bullied and rejected and ridiculed. It could have been different; that’s why I say this is all her fault.”
“Son, Felipe lives in his own little world, where his biggest problem is what is he going to eat next. He doesn’t worry about being bullied or being liked; he’s just himself. He doesn’t know about what’s going on in this world and I don’t think he would care. He doesn’t know what autism is, or what does ADD stands for, or what are his medicines for. In a way, he just surrenders to the realities of his life, without knowing what it means; and on the other hand, he doesn’t let these realities change who he is and who he wants to be. He’s a lucky boy who has a loving father and a supportive family. I know you have your own troubles and fears, but don’t make them Felipe’s because those are not his. He will have his own fears and problems one day and you have to be strong and be prepared to protect him and give him support. Don’t you give up on him; don’t you dare.”
“Of course not, mom; I won’t give up even after I die.” Mauricio’s voice sounds tired now.
“That’s my boy… Why don’t you take the day tomorrow? I’ll go and pick him up after school. He can come home with me and you can stop by in the evening. Do something you like; clear your mind,” his mother suggested.
“Ok, ma. Let’s do that. I’ll be better tomorrow. Thanks for listening.”
“That’s what mothers are for, my love. One of our many roles,” she chuckles. “And always remember: through Felipe’s eyes, life is uncomplicated and everything is possible. Don’t tell him the world is cruel and an unhappy place because he just won’t believe it. Instead, why don’t you try and live through his bliss? You may find yourself a happy man again…”
Mauricio stays silent. He feels mortified that he called his mother at this hour to rant about his miserable life. And he knows she’s right, of course.
He prepares to go to bed feeling somehow relieved. Before entering his bedroom he makes a stop in Felipe’s to kiss his head; no flashback this time. Once in bed, he doesn’t fall sleep right away, but instead of thinking about everything that is wrong with the world, he makes an effort to bring to his mind all those funny memories with Felipe. With eyes closed, he giggles until he doesn’t remember anything anymore.
The next morning, he wakes up and it’s not 4 in the morning; it’s actually 7 and Felipe is late for school. Mauricio jumps out of bed and run downstairs where Felipe is already sitting at the dinning table eating cereal.
“Good morning, sleepy-head!” Felipe cries showing his white smile.
“Good morning, smarty-pants!” Mauricio jokes and playfully tousles Felipe’s neatly combed hair. Felipe lets out a squeaky laugh and twists in his chair, trying to free his head from his father’s hands. They both laugh.
After breakfast, Mauricio drives Felipe to school and kiss him goodbye before leaving. Mauricio comes back home to make some coffee and read the job ads in today’s newspaper. It’s been 7 months since he was laid off as part of the big economic crisis the country is going through. There are thousands of people in his same situation; all of them desperate for a job, any type of job. He was just about to start complaining about his own situation when he remembered what his mom said a few hours ago. Staring outside through the kitchen window he thought: “What would Felipe do?”
Although unemployment was probably not part of Felipe’s little world, if, only if, Felipe had to live in Mauricio’s world, what would he do… The answer was clear. Mauricio left
the coffee mug filled with steaming hot coffee standing in the kitchen counter and went out the door. He walked 4 blocks to the nearest avenue and went inside the groceries store in the corner. He spotted a guy wearing a shirt and tie behind the customer service counter.
“Hi! My name is Mauricio and I am looking for a job,” he said holding out his hand in greeting. The man looked surprised and shacking his hand told him there were no jobs available at this time, but that he could come back in two weeks and check back again.
Mauricio came back home after two hours of talking to strangers, looking for work. He didn’t find a job, but he felt satisfied and happy, ready to make the most out of his day.
He cleaned the house, washed the car and cooked dinner. By the time he finished all these tasks, it was evening already and he headed out the door to go pick up Felipe from grandma’s house.
Felipe was watching TV when Mauricio arrived. It’s been a good day for Felipe, his mother told him; he’s got the highest score of the class on an important test and his teacher has wrote a nice note for him. Mauricio embraced Felipe and told him he was proud of him. Felipe laughed and told him he was proud of himself as well.
On their way home, they stopped for ice cream.
“But we haven’t had dinner yet,” Felipe exclaimed.
“It’s ok. Eating ice cream before or