He had never uncollared me so quickly and I wondered for a second if our talk about threesomes had been what changed his mind. Then he lowered his head and peppered kisses along the top of my breasts and I decided whatever changed his mind wasn’t important.
He was strong and commanding as my Dominant, but he was equally as passionate and loving as my husband and lover. Nights like this, when he took me slow and gently, almost reverently, weren’t very common, but I loved them just as much as when he took control of our joining. Either way, my body was always hungry for him.
Right before he entered me, he switched positions. “Ride me, Abby.”
And though being on top wasn’t my favorite, I moved to straddle him and lowered myself onto his cock.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. “All feminine and strong.”
He took hold of my waist, but unlike the way he held me before, this time his hands were gentle. His goal wasn’t to control, but to simply touch me.
“I could watch you forever,” he said. “I’ll never grow tired of seeing you.”
“Good thing,” I said. “I’m never going anywhere.”
I moved up and down on him, mesmerized by his expression. His eyes were filled with something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Lust, certainly, but something that spoke of his love and warmed me. Then he moved his hands up and fondled my breasts.
“Every inch of you is gorgeous,” he whispered sweetly, and I continued to move on him, working my hips to get the most friction where I wanted it. When he threw his head back and arched his back, I knew I’d hit the right spot.
“I love watching you in this mood, too,” I said. “Seeing you take a different kind of pleasure in me.” I stopped speaking as my orgasm built and concentrated only on the heat that came from our joined bodies.
“You make me come so hard.” His voice was a strained combination of lust, love, and desire. He reached down and played with my clit. “I want to see how hard you come.”
His hand was what I needed to push me over the cliff of my approaching orgasm. I sucked in a breath and let it wash over me. Nathaniel wasn’t far behind and he came seconds after I did.
Afterward, he pulled me down and kissed me. “I love you,” he said, spooning himself behind me.
“Love you, too.”
“Does Nathaniel have the kids?” Dena asked the next Saturday as she drove us to Julie and Sasha’s floral shop, the Petal Pushers. She’d called earlier in the day to invite me to go with her for lunch.
“Yes. They’re going to explore our land some more. Last time they went out, he showed them our apple trees.”
“Your kids are great.” Dena’s hand swept across her belly.
“You’ll be exploring with your own before you know it.”
“It’s hard to picture it. I’m still trying to decide what I want to do about my job after the baby comes.”
“You still have time,” I assured her.
“Yes, and I’m grateful I have the option to stay at home if I want to. I know not everyone has that.”
“You and Jeff will find what works best for you and your family,” I said to her.
“It’s scary to think about the future. I’m so afraid we’ll make all these plans and I’ll lose this one as well.”
“When you have thoughts like that, you need to remember what’s true. The ultrasounds have been positive and the doctors have all said there’s no reason to expect that whatever caused your loss before will affect this pregnancy.”
She nodded, but I knew she wasn’t convinced. And there wasn’t anything anyone could do or say to change that. Anyone in her position would worry, and only time and giving birth to a healthy baby would calm her fears.
A few minutes later, we pulled up in front of a storefront building in the downtown area of Wilmington. The display window was filled with white and light pink flowers, a reminder to those passing by that wedding season was approaching.
“I didn’t realize it was a restored building,” I said.
“Sasha said they were able to negotiate a great price because the seller didn’t want to deal with any of the repairs.” She pointed above the front door. “They actually own the second floor as well. Sasha’s living there.”
I opened the door and held it for Dena. When we went inside, we found a large room filled with light and the colors and scents of beautiful flowers. Julie sat in front of a computer and Sasha sat beside her.
They looked up as the door chime announced our arrival.
“Dena, hey. And, Abby. I wasn’t expecting you.” Julie moved out from behind the counter and gave us hugs.
Sasha stood and came over to where we were. She was shorter than Julie and her dark hair was styled with spikes. A hard wind would have blown her away. She was so thin she looked gaunt.
I held out my hand. “Hey, Sasha.”
“Nice to see you again,” she said, shaking my hand.
“Everything going well?” I asked, and she nodded.
Dena gave Sasha a hug. “Let’s just eat here instead of going out. I’ll order pizza. That’s what I’m craving today.”
“Sounds good to me,” I said. “As long as it’s decent. I haven’t had decent pizza since we left New York.”
“Are you a pizza snob?” Julie asked.
“After living in New York City for years, I’m most definitely a pizza snob,” I answered. “I’m not a snob about most things, but I can’t take bad pizza.”
Dena shook her head. “No worries, my first date with Jeff was at an Italian restaurant and they have wonderful pizza. Trust me.”
“We can go upstairs and eat once it’s delivered,” Sasha said. “It’ll be more comfortable.”
Thirty minutes later, we sat in Sasha’s apartment, eating a delicious lunch. Julie and Dena were as jovial as ever, but Sasha was more withdrawn. I wondered if it was because I was there or if she was still suffering from depression because of what had happened with the bullwhip.
“Everyone going to the play party next weekend?” Julie asked.
Dena had a silly grin on her face. “Yes, your place, right?”
Julie giggled. “My place, I like that.”
“I knew you would,” Dena said. “Jeff and I will be there.”
“I’ll be there,” I said.
“I’m thinking about going.” Sasha spoke with trepidation and all three of us looked at her. “What? I talked with my therapist. I’m not ready to play or anything. Hell, I don’t even want to date. But I think it’s time for me to go to a party.”
“Have you spoken to any senior members about it?” Julie asked.
“Does Dena being here and listening to me count?”
“Probably not,” Julie said with a raised eyebrow to Dena.
“We talked about it briefly when I came by a week or so ago,” Dena said. “But I’ll admit, I didn’t think you’d be interested in attending this soon.”
“What are the concerns about Sasha attending?” I asked.
“The last time she went, she had a panic attack,” Julie said.
Sasha shot a glare at Julie. “That was months ago.”
I couldn’t tear my focus away from the two friends. Since we would be joining the group, I was particularly interested in Julie’s reaction to Sasha mentioning attending. And, I’d admit, I felt a bit like a mother hen, especially toward Julie, what with her being so new to the lifestyle.
Julie walked to where Sasha sat on the couch and knelt before her, taking her hands in hers. “You showed up at my house after, crying, shaking, and told me you were never going back. I sat by your side for weeks with you giving only one-word, yes-or-no answers. I love you like a sister and I finally have you back. I’m scared if you go to the party, the real you will disappear again.”
“The real me won’t return until I reclaim that part of my life.”
“What if going sets you back another three months?”
“What if it doesn’t?” Sasha squeezed Julie’s
hands. “Don’t you see, I have to find out. I have to try. I see you and Daniel and how happy you are and I think, That’s due in part to me. I’m the one who urged you to join the group and I’ve watched you grow into a satisfied submissive and find peace with it. So call me jealous or greedy or whatever you want, but I had that once and I want it back. I need it back.”
Silent tears ran down Julie’s cheeks. “Promise me you won’t disappear inside yourself again.”
“I promise.” One lone tear escaped from Sasha’s eye. “If I feel a panic attack coming on, I know what to do. I’m not defenseless.”
Listening to her talk and seeing how she responded to Julie, I believed Sasha was ready. I vividly remembered how it was to long for domination and not have it. It was time for Sasha to return to the group. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to Dena, and she caught the movement and looked my way. I tilted my head toward Julie and Sasha and nodded. Dena smiled and returned the nod. She thought so, too. I would have to give my opinion to Nathaniel.
Julie stood. “Dena, will you talk to Jeff about Sasha attending? I’ll do the same with Daniel. And, Abby, you and Nathaniel will be revising the requirements for inclusion in group?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’ll talk to him about being sure there are rules in place that will allow Sasha to feel safe when she attends.”
“Thank you,” Sasha whispered.
“I feel like I’ve been out of it the last few weeks,” Dena said. “Is Peter still in the group? Will he be there?”
Sasha cringed at Peter’s name.
Julie sat down at Sasha’s side. “Yes, he’s still in the group. Master Greene hasn’t released him from mentoring yet, and he could come to the party. I don’t know if he will.”
“Maybe I’ll suggest to Nathaniel that it’d be a good idea for Master Greene to keep Peter from attending this party.” I looked over to Sasha. “Or is that overstepping my bounds? I think if I were in your place, I wouldn’t want him there the first time I returned.”
Relief washed over her expression. “If you don’t mind, that would be great. My fear of running into him again is part of what’s held me back. I know I have to face him, but it’s all about baby steps. I think it’ll be easier to meet with the group and then deal with him than to deal with him and then meet with the group.”
I nodded. “I agree. You shouldn’t do them both at the same time, and group first makes sense to me.”
“We’ll all be there for support, Sasha,” Julie said. “You won’t be alone.”
“You guys are the best.” Sasha looked as if she might cry again, but she blinked and nothing rolled down her cheek. “Now let’s talk about something fun. Dena, tell us about all your wedding plans.”
Chapter Six
NATHANIEL
Abby was out with Dena and her other friends from the Partners group, and I was having a tea party with Elizabeth and Henry. The children had somehow lured Apollo into joining us and they’d grown too quiet in the few minutes I stepped out of the room to make a quick call.
There were hushed whispers as I returned to Elizabeth’s room, but then I heard Henry squeal, “Pretty!” and I knew I’d come to Apollo’s rescue just in time. I stepped inside to find Apollo with a pink feather boa around his neck, a pink “Princess” sash draped over his shoulders, and a sparkling pink tiara tied to his head. He looked at me as if to say, Pink really isn’t my color. Make them stop.
“How’s the tea party going?” I asked Elizabeth, who was dressed in a princess gown and a pair of Abby’s old shoes.
“Henry won’t wear his crown,” she said.
At the mention of his name, Henry smiled and pointed to Apollo. “Dada, he’s pretty!”
“Yes, Apollo certainly looks very pretty, but I think he needs to rest now. He’s old, you know, and playing princess tea party is hard work.”
“Is Apollo really, really old?” Elizabeth asked. “Like ten?”
“He’s closer to twelve,” I said, laughing inside that ten was really, really old.
“That is old.” She walked to Apollo as best she could in the shoes and started de-princessing him. “Go rest with Daddy, Apollo. We can play tea party later.”
Once he was no longer decked out in pink, Apollo stood up and shook, then trotted over to me. “Let’s go take Apollo outside and we can play on the swings.”
“Cookie. Please,” Henry said.
I glanced at my watch. “Too close to dinner. Mommy wouldn’t like it if I let you have a cookie now. Eat a good dinner and we’ll see.”
“I have cookies,” Elizabeth said, pushing an empty plate toward him.
Henry looked down and, realizing they were only imaginary cookies, told her, “Fix it.”
Elizabeth tried to explain why imaginary cookies were better and Henry didn’t believe her one bit. But he didn’t complain. They played together really well, at least most of the time.
Growing up as an only child, I’d always wanted a brother or sister. Then my parents died when I was ten and I lived with my aunt and uncle. Their son, Jackson, had been like the brother I’d never had. I’d always known that if I ever had children, I’d want at least two.
“Let’s go.” I picked Henry up to carry him down the stairs and Elizabeth followed with Apollo.
Later that evening, after Abby returned home from lunch with her friends, I pulled into Daniel’s driveway. He’d called while the women were at lunch and asked if I could stop by his house for a little bit. I’d just gotten out of the car when I heard voices near the patio.
“How long is Cole going to be at the guesthouse?” The question was voiced by a woman I didn’t recognize.
“I don’t know.” That sounded like Julie. “He’s been gone a lot. Traveling different places. I really can’t keep up with him.”
“Does he have a lot of … people over?”
“By people, do you mean women?”
There was a tight laugh and then, “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”
“I haven’t seen anyone stay overnight, but that doesn’t mean he’s not inviting women over to play.”
“Just wondering.”
Julie sighed. “You know Cole’s reputation in the playroom, don’t you, Sasha?”
“I’ve heard some things.”
“From what I’ve picked up on, they’re all true,” Julie said. “Do you think about playing when you picture yourself back with the group?”
There was nothing from Sasha and I wanted to make my presence known before they started chatting again. I walked quickly, covering the distance in a few long strides. Turning the corner, I found them working in the garden that ran along the front porch.
“Hey, guys,” I said.
Julie sat back on her heels and smiled. “Hey, Nathaniel. Daniel said you were coming over. He’s in the sunroom at the back of the house. If you follow the walkway around, you’ll find him.”
“Thank you, Julie.” I glanced at Sasha. She’d put her shovel down and was looking at the dirt. Abby had told me about her conversations with Dena. I still had reservations about Sasha rejoining, but wasn’t sure exactly why. “Hello, Sasha.”
She didn’t look up. “Hello, Sir.”
“I prefer Nathaniel when we’re not with the group.”
She lifted her head, and a mischievous grin crept across her lips. “Does anyone ever call you Nate?”
“Not if they want a reply.”
“I didn’t think you looked like a Nate.”
I grinned. “What does a Nate look like?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure. I just know it’s not like you.”
“Sasha,” Julie said. “Come help me carry these empty planters to the greenhouse.”
The two women went back to their gardening and I followed the path around the house to the sunroom, finding Daniel exactly where Julie said he’d be.
He saw me and opened the door. “Hey, Nathaniel. Come on in.”
We took our seats at the dining table and I noticed a pi
le of paperwork at Daniel’s place. He picked it up and flipped through