Geekerella

  I remember the nights talking with Elle—my Elle, the Elle in my head, the one who apparently doesn’t exist. Wanting to text her. Waiting for her to text me. The first time she called me ah’blen. The nights we stayed up late, and how little we really knew about each other, and how much I wanted to know about her.

  Me and her—that girl. That Elle.

  Us.

  How could I ever mistake Elle for someone like Brian? Think they were the same person? I was blind and stupid and she had been here all along.

  “Don’t you want to know who she really is?” Chloe asks. She’s horrible, just like I imagined Elle’s stepsisters. She described them perfectly. “She’s just some weird little geek.”

  “I know who she is,” I reply. Elle glances over to me. I can see her tears. I can’t take back that text message, but I can give her what she gave me over these last few weeks. I was such a doofus. “She’s kind, and she’s smart, and she’s stubborn and very, very passionate. But not in a bad way. In a good way. In a way I aspire to be. She grew up in a universe without anyone to appreciate her—and what gives you that right? What gives you the right to treat her like she’s no one?”

  “I—I—” Chloe looks from me to Elle and then back to me, as if trying to puzzle out why I’m standing up for her stepsister. Do people really think I’m that selfish?

  I grab Elle’s hand and squeeze it tight. It’s assurance that I’m not just saying that. I mean it. Because if she’s the girl I think she is, she’ll understand. She deserves to know who I really am.

  “Oh, and her father?” I say. “He started this convention. This cosplay ball. So if you think he’s a weirdo, then I think you’re in the wrong crowd.”

  And with that I give her the promise-sworn salute.

  A Torturian beside me mimics my salute. And a Nox. A Jedi. A Vulcan. A Dark Elf. The entire Fellowship of the Ring. Everyone, in their different-colored hair and costumes and masks, lifts their hands in promise-swears to show that underneath the robes and breastplates and Spandex are people whose hearts beat together. We might all be different—we may ship different things or be in different fandoms—but if I learned anything from twenty-three days in a too-blue uniform playing a character I thought I could never be, it’s that when we become those characters, pieces of ourselves light up like glow sticks in the night. They shine. We shine. Together.

  And even when some of us fall to different universes, those lights never go out.

  Finally, Elle gives her salute. And I squeeze her hand even tighter.

  “We’re all geeks here,” I say.

  CHLOE WHIRLS AROUND. NO ONE IS dancing, even though the music keeps spinning. Everyone has a promise-sworn outstretched, even cosplayers who aren’t dressed in Starfield regalia. Chloe chews her bottom lip to keep it from wobbling, her nails digging into her starchy dress. I don’t know how she got it, or how she got in here, and my heart twists because I know this isn’t how she wanted things to go.

  “I hate you!” she cries. Then she pushes her way out of the room. The crowd begins to applaud as she stumbles up the stairs and disappears, chased out by a roar of hoots and hollers.

  I think to go after her but then stop myself. Chloe wouldn’t go after me. She wouldn’t even try.

  Beside me, Darien sighs. “Man, that was a pain.”

  “You humiliated her,” I say.

  He squints at me. “She humiliated you too.”

  “I know but…” I glance back to the ballroom door. “I’m used to it.”

  “And that makes it okay?”

  “No…”

  He sighs, and slowly the crowd begins to go back to whatever they were doing before. Dancing, mingling, eating those delicious finger foods I have yet to try. Maybe I should at least eat a puff pastry before they’re all gone. He rubs the back of his neck. “Listen, I—I think I need to tell you something.”

  “That you’re a serious fanboy?” I try to joke, but my heart is still racing from the argument. I can’t get the watery look in Chloe’s eyes out of my head. We really destroyed her. Maybe she’s like that, but I’m not.

  “Well, that too,” he says, laughing, and then turns my hand over in his. “But really it’s about—”

  The ballroom doors swing open with a deafening groan. A blue-green haired girl sprints inside, followed by a pair of door attendants, shouting about how she needs a ticket.

  “Sage?” I let go of Darien’s hand as she reaches me. “What are you doing here?”

  She bends over, hands on knees and trying to catch her breath. “Jesus! Haven’t you been checking your phone? I’ve been looking everywhere for you! We need to go!”

  “What? Why—oh god, the time!”

  “Yeah, Cinderella, the time!” Sage grabs my wrist and yanks me toward the exit.

  “Wait,” Darien says, attempting to come after me. “Elle—”

  “I’m sorry,” I say, but I let Sage pull me away. A hundred thousand possibilities of what Catherine will do to me are running through my head. And all of them give me a vomitus feeling.

  Please let me get home in time, I think as we thread our way through the ballroom. I don’t look back at Darien. I can’t. I push his look of hurt—actual, gut-wrenching hurt—out of my head.

  Because I’m as good as dead.

  “What time is it?” I yell to Sage. She cuts through the crowd like a knife, her grip so tight I know it’ll leave a mark.

  “Nine o’clock!” she calls back.

  “Nine?” Panic grips my chest. Even if we gun the Pumpkin to 80 M.P.H., it’s at least a four-hour drive. “We’ll never make it!”

  She shoves open the ballroom door and we flee into the golden-hued lobby, across the plush carpet and toward the revolving door. The Magic Pumpkin is idling outside. In a no-parking zone. And there’s a cop heading toward it from across the street. Cal leans out the passenger window, motioning us to hurry. Footsteps follow behind us, and just as I careen out of the revolving doors, I spin back to see who—

  Darien.

  “Wait, please!” he cries, slamming his way to the revolving doors. His mask has fallen off and I can see the shiner on his nose, dark as a rainstorm, and the alarm in his eyes. The kind where you’re afraid you’ll never see someone again.

  “Wait—ah’blena!”

  Ah’blena?

  I stumble, and one of Mom’s shoes slips off.

  “What are you doing?” Sage grabs my hand when I bend for the shoe. “Come on! We have to go!”

  She’s right. We have to go. I have to go. Pull myself out of this—this—whatever this is. This dream. This moment. A shoe is a shoe—it’s not worth the wrath of Catherine.

  I take off at a run just as Darien rounds out of the revolving doors. Jumping into the driver’s seat, Sage slams the truck into gear and I grab ahold of the handle bar for the passenger foothold. The truck heaves forward as I swing open the door and climb inside, next to Cal.

  In the rearview mirror, he’s still running after us. But as we pick up speed his feet slow to a stop and he doubles over, resting his hands on his knees, my name on his lips a moment before he disappears behind a building. I turn to face the road, chest tight and head pounding.

  He’ll get over me. All we had was a moment. Just a moment in an impossible universe waltzing that beautiful, impossible waltz.

  I’M ABOUT TO VOMIT.

  My lungs burn with every breath, but I right myself, looking down at the glittery slipper. I swipe it off the ground. I’ll drop it off at the hotel desk. Maybe they can hold on to it until Elle can pick it up. Or I can tell her.

  A knot forms in my throat.

  I almost did—I almost told her who I was. I was so close. Tapping the bottom of the shoe against my palm, I turn back toward the hotel.

  And freeze.

  The Nox King is standing in the way, phone out and recording the entire thing under the harsh light of a streetlamp. He smirks, and that’s when I recognize him. I curse as he grins wider.

 
“Nice cosplay, Brian,” I spit out at him.

  “Had you fooled at least.”

  “Can you stop recording?”

  “Why don’t you ask your dad?”

  I sigh. Yeah, Mark is going to kill me. But I’ll deal with that later. “You can just not sell it, you know. Pretend to be a decent person.”

  “Still so blind, man?” Brian shakes his head. “I kinda feel sorry for you.”

  I’m too angry to play games. Elle was right here—right beside me—but then suddenly she wasn’t, and when she left it felt like she took the air from around me until I could barely breathe.

  Brian’s still talking. “I’m sure we’ll get a lot for this footage, too. What should the headline be, you think? Darien Favors Contestant? Geek Girl Will Do Anything to Win? Renowned Cosplay Competition Upended by Star Darien Freeman’s D—”

  That’s it. If one good thing has happened over the last several months of preproduction and soulless salads and protein shakes and four a.m. workouts with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s cousin, it’s that I learned to throw a punch. Thumb out, clench fist—

  Swing.

  Brian stumbles from the force of it. Clutching his jaw, he waves his phone at me. “It’s still recording, stupid! You want assault and battery on the headlines too?”

  “ASSAULT THIS.” And with a wild yell, I charge at him.

  Brian spins around and dashes toward the revolving doors. I slam into the same wedge with him, like two sardines in a tin can, pulling at his obnoxious Nox ears.

  “Ow, ow, ow! Hands off!” he cries. “Those were expensive!”

  “We were friends!” I manage to rip off one ear before he pushes the revolving door far enough to escape into the lobby. “You just said you wanted to be friends!”

  “Yeah, until you turned out to be a better-than-everyone-else asshole!” he shouts over his shoulder, circling an expensive-looking couch. The upholstery is really nice, but screw it. I climb over the cushions—he thought I’d go around—and grab him by that stupid nonsensical cape. I always said the Nox King didn’t need a cape.

  “And you sold me out! You were jealous!”

  “Seriously, man?” He whirls behind another chair and shoves it at me. “Your head’s so far up your dad’s ass it’s unbelievable.”

  I catch the chair before it slams into my crotch. “Take that back.”

  “You’re daddy’s little boy. Doing everything he wants. He manufactured you, you know that?” He grabs a handful of magazines and throws them at me.

  I duck as a Teen Vogue with me on the cover sails over my head. “I said take it back.”

  “What, not proud of being his little b—”

  I charge at him again. He cuts through a family of four and shoves their luggage cart between us. I grab the other side. “So you took a picture of me face-planting into a dock and sold it? That really made everything better!” I try to jerk the cart away, but he holds fast. “Why’d you do it?”

  His dark purple makeup begins to flake off as his face scrunches in anger. “Why don’t you ask your father?”

  “Mark’s got nothing to do with it—”

  “He planted the pictures!” Brian roars.

  I gape.

  “Never thought of that, huh?” He sneers. “Don’t you think the timing was a little too good? Just wrapped up the second season of Seaside. You’d auditioned for Carmindor and people kinda knew who you were—”

  “Frak you.”

  “—but they didn’t really know you. No one cared outside of your SeaCos or whatever the hell they’re called.”

  He’s lying. I know he is. But his words begin to constrict my throat, making it harder to breathe.

  “I took them as a joke—something to give you shit about later. But then Mark confiscated them, told me they could get me paid,” Brian says. “And he was right. One big story and you were on the map. You were everywhere.”

  “It was hell!”

  “It was business, man,” Brian says. “I thought you’d get over it eventually.”

  “And I thought I could trust my best friend.”

  The dad of the family whose cart we’ve commandeered tentatively reaches for their luggage, glancing between us as if we’re crazy monsters. At the check-in desk, the clerk is already on the phone, probably with security. I can see the headline now—DARIEN FIGHTS WITH SLEAZY PAPARAZZO AND MURDERS HIS ASS.

  “Sure,” Brian says, “blame me for all this. Can’t stomach to blame yourself, can you?”

  I spin the cart away from Tourist Dad and attack with a Conan the Barbarian cry of rage. Brian retreats through the ballroom doors, disappearing into the dark mist of the dance party. He skids to a stop at the balustrade leading down to the dance floor and glances back.

  “Oh sh—”

  But I’ve already taken a flying leap. My shoulder slams into his chest and we tumble over the railing like King Kong off the Empire State Building. The ten-foot drop takes a lot longer than I expect. Long enough for me to regret this entire decision.

  Well, at least I’m insured.

  We crash onto the floor with enough force to knock the breath out of me. The DJ scratches a Pokérap remix to a halt. Avengers and Night elves and Jedi circle us. I roll onto my back, groaning. I don’t think I’ve broken any bones, but I can’t tell. It feels like I’ve cracked absolutely everything. Beside me, Brian rolls over too, and we stare up at the ceiling. It’s actually a pretty nice ceiling. Golden chromed like the rest of the hotel, fancy…

  I must’ve hit my head harder than I thought.

  “You know what?” I sit up unsteadily. I’ve been bruised and beat up today more times than I ever was on set. I knew I wanted to stay away from this con for a reason. “We could’ve been friends. But it never would’ve worked, and not because I’m famous. Because you’re a dick, Brian. You stalked me, you yelled at me in front of my fans, you stole my freaking phone…”

  Somewhere in the back of the ballroom I hear Gail yelling at people to get out of her way; she’s already calling our insurer to make sure my abs are covered for battle wounds.

  Brian inhales a long, shuddery breath. “Maybe.” He glances over. “But I’m telling—ow—the truth.” He slowly gets to his feet. His lip is bloody from where I nailed him. He stretches out a hand and I take it, painfully standing up (okay, so I might’ve sprained something, or bruised something very, very bad). “He controls you, man. And you were gonna let him take that girl away too.”

  Gail finally finds her way to us and takes me by the face. “Dare! Are you okay? Are you hurt? How many fingers am I holding up?”

  “Three,” I reply, realizing that Brian is no longer there. I whirl around, looking for him, but all I see is a black cape as he slips between two Orcs and disappears.

  Gail yanks my face toward her again, inspecting my nose, then my lips, and muttering to herself in her mother-hen way about how much Mark is going to chew us out this time. “I always get into the worst trouble with you, Dare. We’re heading back to L.A. and I’m locking you in your apartment until the premiere. That’s a promise.”

  “Actually…” I remember the words on the side of the food truck that Elle left in. The Magic Pumpkin, “Charleston’s Best Vegan Food Truck!” It’s all beginning to make sense now. The chimichangas. The jokes. She was already so close. Brian’s words echo like warning bells in my head.

  You were gonna let him take that girl away too.

  I should’ve told her the truth in the beginning. I shouldn’t have been so scared of the consequences because I’ll live through them, whatever they are. I just want to be real. For once. Without a mask, unscripted, unknown. I would rather live my life knowing that Elle hates me than live as fake Carmindor in her head.

  “We’re going to take a nice long vacation. It’s going to be perfect—”

  “No.” I hold my ribs, trying not to grimace. I think I definitely bruised them. “I need to talk to my dad first.”

  —

  THE PHONE RINGS ONC
E, TWICE, BEFORE Mark picks up. I check my watch. 12:31 a.m. Way early out on the West Coast. He should still be up partying. Or going to some event sponsored by this film studio or that production company. Networking, he says. I remember the years he did nothing but network, night after night. My entire childhood was filled with it. I had more babysitters than I could name. And then one weekend, long after the divorce, he got me that toothpaste commercial gig, and three months later an audition for this OC-esque TV series called Seaside Cove. Then the headlines happened.

  I rub the scar on my chin absently. I don’t know how much I believe Brian, but I don’t know whether I want to believe Mark either. I can’t remember much from those weeks in the tabloids. It was a whirlwind of paparazzi and press and headlines, and it never really died down afterward. There was my life before the headlines, and after.

  I wonder, in Elle’s possible universe, who I would’ve become without them. Maybe in that universe I’d still have a father, and maybe I wouldn’t have blamed Brian.

  Maybe I’d be no one at all.

  “Hello?” Mark grumbles.

  “Hey, old man,” I say brightly.

  “Darien? What are you—what time is it?” I hear him shuffle around, and then he groans. “Darien, it’s late over there. Aren’t you supposed to be catching a flight?”

  “Supposed to,” I say. “It’s probably taking off. I don’t know.”

  There’s an edge to his voice. “You don’t know?”

  I swallow the knot in my throat and concentrate on my polished leather boots. They’re Carmindor’s boots, actually. I haven’t changed out of them yet. I’m fooling myself into thinking that maybe if I’m dressed like a hero, I can still act like one, holding on to the last ragged shred of courage left in me.

  Lonny, sitting in a cushy hotel-room armchair, quietly sips a glass of sparkling water. Gail, in the chair beside him, scrolls through her phone. They’re both listening, and I don’t care. When I asked if they could stay in the room when I called Mark, they agreed without hesitation. It’s a comfort. I guess because they’re the closest thing I have to friends. Or parents.