Nothing

  It was under the shower when I woke up in the morning. I asked it to shake its clothes dry while I began to make preparations for the night. Then, having given it instructions to stay in its room, and to only come out for meals, I departed intent on securing a new subject.

  Back to my room I want to go back to room I was going back to my room and what's that I can't move my arms get it off let me go back to my room I want to get back to my room its around my arms I can't move I need to go back to my room let me go let go where is it taking me its loosening I can almost get back oh no its tightened it again jam my foot against the frame of the door ouch ouch I need to move my foot let it take me into its room I will escape I will go back to my room I want to go back to my room. It is too tight my tummy I can't reach it I feel the knot I can't untie it I can't untie it I can't what is under bed white rock can't see it it's a rock no it's not don't know what it is too tight when air go in my tummy go big and too tight and it is on bed and holding book and reading book and I want it to let me go but it not sees me it read book I wait I wait and I am tired and and and shaking it shake me and I awake it wake me why it wake me and I tired and I want to sleep sleep sleep I awake and it wake me again I want to sleep I want to go back to room and I need to go back to my my my I awake and it wake me again let me go back to sleep let me go to room it is too tight I can't take it it it I wake and it wake me again let me go I tired and I want sleep too tired tired tired I wake sleep sleep tight sleep wake tight it is wake sleep.

  I wake and I am hungry still tight it sleep and head hurt what is under bed and I turn head reach around post and it hurt my tummy and I see and it is what is? is bone who's bone why how why and I look at it and it sleep and it will kill me and my bone under bed and my hands tied I want to go out I want to eat I am hungry and I need to go I pull hard shake bed but knot too strong and I hungry and it come and I scared it will hurt it will make my bones under bed and I close eyes and it try take my shirt I want my shirt I will be cold I need my shirt I need to go back to my room I need to eat I need and it bring rope and it take my shirt and I hit it with my head but it pull off and ouch ouch ouch more ouch it take begin to take off knot so I no hit and it almost off and I run to door and ouch ouch and it is too pain and it grab something and over my head I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can breathe I go to door I can go ouch ouch ouch I can't breathe I can't breathe and I go to door I know it will ouch but I need to go and ouch ouch and I can't breathe and I go to door and ouch and I can't breathe and I want to go ouch ouch ouch no more no more can't breathe I must escape take deep breath it pain can't breathe go ouch gulp no breath go ouch gulp no breath go ouch can breathe no more don't tie me up let me go I hungry I in pain I want to go to eat food I want my shirt I want pain to go. It leave me where it go I hungry and pain and hungry and pain and let me go it too tight and hungry and pain I want to eat I want to go to my room it will kill me can't undo knot I try pull but too heavy too weak too hurt too hungry it come back it hold food I want eat I hungry I too hungry it undo knot it hold food can escape it hold rope need food need escape cannot escape it will hurt I hungry eat food eat food it bring food I need eat want to eat it hold rope I don't know it take bowl to my mouth and I eat I eat I eat I less hungry still hungry need more food it have none I go back to room ouch ouch I won't go back to room too much ouch and it gave food and wait and hungry and it take me out and hold rope and go down to eat and take food and eat food and take food and eat more taste good and eat more taste good and not hungry and go back and it hold rope and I not tired and I wait and I tired and ground hard and no blanket and cold and want to go to room but it have rope and ouch and no breath and I too tired and I lie down to sleep and see bone will it kill me I must escape but ouch and rope and too weak and it will make arms can't move and take me to room and kill me and ground hard and sleep tired and sleep.

  Wake and hungry and it take me to down and take food and eat food and taste good and eat more and not hungry and go back to room and wait and wait and wait and it tell me to go shower and I go under shower and wait and wait and want to go back to room and wait and it tell me to go back to room and I go back to room but still ouch and tired and hungry.

  Chapter Ten

  There were now two successful cases and I was assured of the efficacy of my method. My new burdens were in scaling this method and planning the next stage. Regarding the first concern, I had formulated the solution of making those I had already freed assist me in further liberation. I spent a whole day in the room of my first subject, where I took it through the process I had created. I began with instructing it on making a rope and a whip. It seemed to be unhappy with ripping up its own blankets and digging into its mattress, but otherwise, it was a passable student, able to follow my instructions easily. The tools were made and it was time to acquire a subject. I stood with my pupil outside its room after we had finished dinner. Then, when everyone began marching past us, I motioned to for it to throw the rope over one of them and tighten it. It ignored me. I explicitly told it to do so. And it still ignored me. I commanded it in angry tones. Still nothing. Finally, I snatched the rope out of its grasp and did it myself, ordering it to follow me into its room. To my relief, that it did, though it neglected to assist me as I struggled in containing and moving this new subject into its apartment and down into a restrained position. Having tied it down with some difficulty, I told my student to leave it there and to keep it awake for as long as it could. I went back to my apartment and tried to sleep. But I couldn't. I was almost sure that it would not follow my instructions, and I did not want the process to be corrupted. Eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore. I needed to make sure that everything was running smoothly.

  I entered the room and saw that they were both sound asleep and I was furious. Why hadn't it listened to me? What couldn't it understand? I tossed off its blankets and woke the other. I then picked up the whip that had been left on the ground and turned to hit the traitor. It cowered to one end of the bed, towards the corner of the room. It was a pitiable, despicable creature. I gave it a single lash, told it to do its job properly, and left the room, giving both inhabitants a fierce look as I closed the door. I still wasn't sure that my instructions would be followed, and my anger belied a tiredness of mind and body. I needed to sleep. If there were any further problems, I could sort them out tomorrow.

  The night came and went, but I was as weary as I had been the previous day. Having eaten breakfast, I made my way back up to the room. They were both wide awake, and it was to my satisfaction one was still tied up. I gave it permission to go eat breakfast, and while it was gone, I forced its shirt off. By the time it came back, I was ready to begin proceedings. I made it pick up the whip, and I stood in front of the door.

  "Untie the ropes."

  It did, and as soon as it was loose enough, it attempted to escape.

  "Hit it!"

  Nothing. It approached the door and I attempted to wrestle it back down onto the ground.

  "Now! Hit it!"

  For a moment it freed itself from my grasp and flew toward the door.

  "Do something!" I was almost screeching now; I couldn't let it escape. I grabbed a leg as it was turning the knob and it tripped back onto the ground. As it tried to recover, I snatched the whip from my incompetent accomplice and beat it back down myself. The sluggard received a few lashings as well. Having tied it down again, I decided to change tact. I returned to my room and retrieved my own whip.

  "Let's start again," I announced into the room as I returned.

  "Pick up the whip and untie the ropes." It duly obliged, but did so feebly and slowly. My own whip enabled me to give it some encouragement. It sped up its work, its fingers trembling slightly at the knots. Pain and fear were good incentives. Then it was free and ran toward the door. I grabbed hold of it with my hand and shouted "Hit it! H
it it with your whip!" It ignored me, and so I gave it lash with my whip. It finally understood the seriousness of my commands and did as I said. Crack! "Again!" Crack! That was satisfying, satisfactory. It was down on the ground now. "Grab the pillow and hold it over its head." It duly followed my instructions.

  "Now let go."

  "Grab it!"

  "Hit it!"

  "Hold it on its head!"

  And so the process continued, and we inched closer to a full deconditioning. By the end of the day, I was exhausted, and so too seemed my student. As we wore it down, it grew increasingly lethargic; its whips lacked power and it barely smothered with the pillow. Nevertheless, by the end of the day, after going through the course of withholding and then giving it food, I was confident that the procedure had worked correctly. However, the earlier difficulties I had encountered convinced me that this was not the right path. I had to effect the method myself and free each person individually. In some ways, it seemed fitting that I had not created a mechanism, a machine that would churn out a result; that was what I was fighting against. Instead it was going to be personal and difficult. And I had never shirked from hard work.

  Hungry and go down steps and take food and eat food and less hungry and eat food and less hungry and go up steps and go into room and wait. Walking outside door open it come in it say things and say things and it tell me to rip up bed no and again no and again and it do take blanket and I hold it and it snatch it and it pull it and it rip it and I sad and I will cold when sleep and I snatch back and it snatch back and rip it and rip it and I try to take back but it move and keep ripping and it spin together and together and throw on ground and I go pick up and ouch and I don't pick up. It start saying and keep saying and it hold something and it hit mattress and hit mattress and I try to stop and it rip mattress and ouch and it rip mattress and it rip mattress and it hurt and it take things out and onto ground and I sad I sleep on mattress and it now broken and it take it out of mattress it is strange and it take blanket and do something and put on floor and I need sleep and I take it and fix it but it come and stop and give back it do thing and ouch and it go and need sleep but ouch so don't fix and sleep floor and it hard and I sad and I lie down and tired and I sleep. Wake and hungry and go down steps and take food and eat food tasty less hungry and eat food tasty and less hungry and go up steps and go into room and happy and wait and hungry and go down steps and take food and eat food it tasty and less hungry and happy and go up steps and it behind me and it come in and it saying and it say things and I no listen and I sad and want it go away and it hold blanket and give me and I scared it will hurt but nothing and it say things and I hungry and we go down stairs and it make me take blanket and I take food and eat food and it tasty and I no hungry and I less sad and we go up stairs and it look at me and point at it and do something with arm and it say thing and it snatch blanket and grab it and take it and no into my room and get out do yourself why into my room and it fight and I watch and it put blanket it and around bed it cannot move and it angry and it say thing and say be mean and I not mean and it leave and I tired and floor hard and less blanket and cold and I sad and I tired and I sleep. Door open loud and wake and it come in and it hold mattress and blanket and it come and I scared and go onto bed and it come and I scared of ouch and it shout and shout and ouch it hurt and I sad and it shout and it shout and it hurt and I tired and it leave and I sad and hurt and tired and I sleep on floor it cold and less blanket and I tired and sleep. Wake and hungry and it come inside and I hungry but I scared and it say eat so I go down stairs and take food and eat food it tasty and take food and it tasty and not hungry and go up I scared but want to go back to room and need to go back to room and go in and it and it both in there and it have no clothes and it give me blanket-mattress and it tell me take away blanket from it and I do and it run to door and it shout and tell me to hit and no want to hit no want to hurt and it jump on it and on ground and it is fight and it tell me hit it and I no want to and it run to door and it make it fall over and take blanket-mattress from me and hit it and hit it and ouch ouch and it hit me and hit it and it put blanket around it and put to bedpost and it hit me and I sad and hurt and it leave and I happy and it come back with blanket-mattress and say something and tell me to pick up other blanket-mattress and to take blanket off it and I remember it before and don't want to do but I scared it will hurt so I do and take blanket off and ouch ouch ouch and I do I do I do it hard to take off and I do ouch and blanket off and it run to door and it tell me to hit it and I no want to and it hit it and ouch and ouch and it tell me to hit it and I hit it and I don't want to hurt it and I don't want to hit it and it make me hit it and hit it and tell me to take pillow and put on it and I no want to I no want to hurt and ouch ouch ouch ouch and I scared and I put pillow on and it throw arms and I put pillow on because I scared of ouch and then it tell me take it off and I take it off and it run and it tell me to hit and I hit because I scared and it tell me to put pillow on and I put pillow on and it tell and I take off and it run and it tell and I hit and I don't want to and I put pillow on and take off and hit and put on and take off and put on and take off and it tell and it tell and it tell and it tell and I scared and hit and put on and take off and hit and put on and take off and it tell and I no want to hurt and it tell and I hungry and it tell stop and we go down and take food and eat food and tasty and less hungry and take food and less hungry but sad and sad I don't want to.

  As I entered my room, I discovered a piece of paper laying on my bed. Strange. There was writing on it. It was the "ally" again.

  It has become a matter of great urgency for me to inform you that your current path is destructive and will ultimately end in your own demise. You must desist immediately. I know best and I am trying to help you. Deconditioning will not lead to freedom. You are wasting time and causing trouble. I will eventually reveal to you the truth but you must stop and you must be patient. I have been here far longer than you. You need me, and I will help if you do as I say.

  Your Ally

  That was ridiculous. I was now sure that whoever this was, it wasn't an ally or a friend. They had their own plans, their own agendas and my successes were affecting those plans. I wasn't going to listen to any of this rubbish. I was going to continue do what had been working. I was going to continue with my liberation of the commune and then the world. I was not going to be dissuaded by suspicious advice.

  The Allegory of the Rock

  Once upon a time there was an old man, alone in an empty plane that stretched out further than the eye could see. For time immemorial, the old man sat in this nothingness, until one day he held his staff in front of him and snapped it. From it, the world exploded into existence. The elements shaped the plane: First there was fire, fire that engulfed everything, and when this cooled, it coalesced into stones, which broke down into earth. Water appeared as oceans and swept through the land, creating rivers, valleys, lakes. The part of the plain the old man now sat in was desert, and a rock rested gently next to it. The old man sat on the rock and remained there for many many years. In the distance, trees appeared from the fertile soil and animals crawled out the seas. The old man continued to sit. The animals changed, evolved. Out of them grew mankind. Eventually, the old man stood and tapped a half of its staff on the rock and infused in it the essence of life. The rock awoke, and asked the old man: "What am I?"

  The old man replied, "You are a rock."

  The rock asked, "Why am I here?"

  The old man replied, "Because I put you here."

  The rock asked, "Who are you?"

  The old man did not answer the question.

  The rock paused then said, "What should I do now?"

  The old man was silent for a long time, then said, "You ask questions which I cannot answer, but I will tell you this: You will cease to know the world if you split in half."

  With these words said, the old man disappeared.

  The rock wanted to stay alive so it went into a c
ave to be safe. It stayed in the cave hidden alone for a long time. Outside mankind had begun to change. They learnt to make tools, to farm, to build villages, then towns then cities. Then they began to fight; devastating wars that wiped cities and civilisations. The rock stayed in the cave. Then one day, a missionary arrived in the cave, seeking shelter from heretics.

  "Who are you?" Asked the rock.

  The missionary looked down and saw that it was the rock who spoke.

  "I am a missionary. I help people find the way of God and how to follow His ways. I explain to them the meaning of life and help them find purpose."

  The rock asked "What is my purpose?"

  "Your purpose is to find God, repent your sins and act piously. He has a purpose set for you and you will know it when you find Him." The missionary replied.

  The rock said, "I understand." But it did not understand.

  For the next two days the missionary stayed within the cave as the heretics were waiting outside. During this time the missionary poured out its life story to the eagerly listening rock.

  "I found Him when I was sixteen. I was on a voyage at the time, working as a sea-hand on a ship whose name I forget. We had perfect weather at the start; the sun was always shining and the sea was as still as a rock. It was on the fourth week of our journey when the weather turned. We saw the dark clouds encroaching, and we knew a huge storm was coming. It reached us early the next morning. There was terrible lightning, lashing rain and monstrous waves that moved our ship like a leaf in the wind. Water poured onto our vessel in huge heaves. I was sure I was going to die.

  My parents had taken me to church when I was young; every single Sunday bar none I would attend mass and afterwards confess my sins to the priest. But I had never truly believed. Well at that moment I realised the truth. I decided I would ask Him for forgiveness. I repented my failings, my sins and I begged Him to allow me to live on and do His work. I prayed and prayed and He listened. The lurching slowed, the pounding stopped, the clouds parted, the sea calmed and I survived. After we landed I immediately went to nearest church and found my home there."