El Diablo

  Exactly like I needed her to.

  I moved away from her, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, taking a seat in the armchair by her bed.

  She needed to stay away from me. I wanted her to stay away from me. I should've made her leave, but it didn’t matter because I couldn’t stay away from her any longer.

  And in the end…

  I didn’t fucking want to.

  So instead, I watched her sleep. Protecting her the only way I knew how. Except there was no protecting her…

  From. Me.

  “God, you’re fucking huge,” I thought I heard a woman loudly moan.

  I groaned, moving my head side-to-side on my pillow, nestling my sore body into the mattress. Not comprehending if I was awake or asleep at that point. Thinking I was just hearing things in my dream. It took me forever to fall asleep after Martinez abruptly left me, without a care in the fucking world. Leaving me all by myself. The tears just wouldn’t stop flowing, one right after the other soaked into my pillow, until I had no more to shed. They were taxing and ruthless, just like him. If I was asleep, I didn’t want to wake up, I was emotionally, physically, and mentally drained.

  “Yes, right there! Fuck me right there! Just like that… please… please make me come!” I overheard. This time it was loud and clear.

  Startling me awake. I immediately sat up, forgetting I had been beaten the night before. I grabbed onto my ribs, trying to ease the pain as I peered around the empty room.

  “What the fuck?” I whispered to myself, taking a few calming breathes. Wiping the dead sleep from eyes, I blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the darkness around me.

  That’s when I heard, “Ride my cock, sweetheart. Fuck me!” Recognizing the dominant tone immediately. The sounds of their bodies slapping together echoed through the hallway into my room.

  My stomach dropped, my hand went to my chest, trying to hold my heart from shattering into a million pieces. It was too late, piece-by-piece, moan-by-moan, it broke, bleeding all over his white, linen sheets. I couldn’t help but continue to overhear the filthy shit coming out of Martinez’s mouth from afar. Along with the screams of bliss from the random whore he was intimately sharing his bed with. I knew that much for sure, the way they were talking to each other proved they didn’t know one another.

  They were relishing in the pleasure their tangled, insatiable bodies were bringing to one another while I was fighting the bile that rose in the back of my throat. After everything I had been through in the past twenty-four hours, I was forced to sit there and listen to Martinez fuck another woman. I couldn’t catch a fucking break. Fate was such a bitch. Before I knew what I was doing, my feet hit the cold marble tile, running to the en suite bathroom. Falling to my knees in front of the toilet, I ignored the sharp pain that radiated through my body as I emptied the contents of my stomach while I continued to hear raw, sexual sounds beating into my head.

  He didn’t give a flying fuck that I could hear what they were doing, what he was saying to her, how much he was making her come. The ecstasy he was pounding into her pussy over and over again.

  “Just like that… take my cock,” he growled.

  She gagged.

  I scoffed in disgust. My eyes filled with tears again, my lips trembled, and whatever little piece of his soul I thought I saw when he looked at me, crumbled beneath me on the cold tile floor. I fucking hated him.

  Every last part of him.

  He left me here by myself in his home, knowing I would be scared, anxious, overwhelmed by all the shit that happened to me. I didn’t even know how much time went by while I laid, curled up in the fetal position there on the bathroom floor, listening. Making sure I took in every moan, every thrust, every plea, until I couldn’t take it anymore. Engrained so deep into my heart, where all my thoughts and feelings would now be shoved too.

  He wasn’t who I thought he was.

  Not even fucking close.

  It seemed as though they went at it for hours. I had enough, I reached my limit, I pushed off the bathroom floor, ignoring my body’s pleas to take it easy. I reached my door contemplating my next move.

  “I hope you choke on it!” I yelled and I slammed it shut. Not caring if he heard me or not. I immediately opened my pills, taking two down without any water, wanting to knock myself the fuck out from the pain running through my body, especially my heart.

  I laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, willing the medication to take effect. Thinking about how I got into this situation in the first place.

  How did any of this happen?

  I didn’t understand why he had me here if he didn’t care for me.

  Why was he protecting me?

  Nothing made sense.

  Not one damn thing.

  My eyes started to flutter, sleep finally taking reign again. My body sank into the mattress beneath me, heaviness coursed through me, and the room went black. Even in my sleep, I couldn’t escape him. I felt him, his distinctive scent all around me, touching me, watching over me. At one point during the night, I could have sworn I saw him sitting in the armchair beside my bed. But I couldn’t be sure, the drug-induced haze kept taking me under. Probably producing false illusions, the same ones I created over the years.

  When I woke up the next morning I was by myself, hating the fact that I dreamt about him, again. I was in a foul mood, hating life, hating him, and hating that I was still fucking there, and I couldn’t go home.

  I was homeless yet again.

  And I hated that more than anything.

  The fucking dark cloud I carried around for years was back with a vengeance. Just as my life was starting to look up, one bad decision took it all away from me. Ripping away the life I’d work so hard for, finally loving where I was after all that hardship right out of my grasp. I didn’t know what God had up his sleeve for me, all I knew was I wanted to get the fuck out of there. I wanted to go back to living my life in my little bubble.

  Most of all I wanted to be able to dance again.

  I showered as best as I could, my body hurting even more than it did the night before. Allowing the hot water to soak my sore muscles like I had been doing ever since I was little. But this time, it wouldn’t grant me any peace like it had for years. When the water turned cold, I got out and dried off in the bathroom. Wiping the steam from my hot shower off the mirror with my hand, staring down at the sink not ready to face the woman that would be staring back at me. I needed to inspect the damage Nikolai had inflicted upon my face and body. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and almost gasped when I saw my reflection.

  “Oh my God,” I breathed out not recognizing the woman through the glass.

  My eyes were bloodshot, hollow, and swollen from spending most of the night crying. Dark, purplish and green bruises circled my left eye, descending to my cheekbone, disappearing into my hairline. Another bruise ascended from my right cheek over to the bridge of my nose. Turning my head side to side, I examined Nikolai’s handy work. Bringing my hand up, gently caressing my fingers over my once flawless skin. Hissing in pain as soon as they made contact. My dry lips were cracking, a sharp cut on my bottom lip making it more painful. My eyes followed my hand as I glided it down toward my chest, ribs, and stomach. Purple, blue, and black bruises covering the entire area.

  My gaze never left the mirror as I took in every last inch of my broken body. Scoffing out in disappointment for how I could let this happen to me. Tears threatened in my eyes. I grew up with a predator, I should have seen the signs I should have known better than to let anyone in my life. I ended up dating a man that just waited for the right moment to strike. Leaving me more damaged now than I had ever been before. I quickly wiped away the tears that had escaped from my puffy eyes, wincing from my own touch, again. I grabbed another towel off the warming rack, and wrapped it tightly around my body, unable to look at myself any longer. Taking in my appearance was making me sick.

  I opened the door, closing my eyes, welcoming the
cool air on my face. Shrieking as soon as I opened my eyes to find him sitting on the corner of my bed. Placing my hand over my ribs, I bowed my head, promptly whimpering in pain.

  “Fuck,” I muttered through gritted teeth.

  I heard the bed creak, and immediately peered up at him, but I was too late. He was over to me in three strides, getting right in my personal space without me asking him to do so.

  “Don’t touch me,” I snapped, expecting him to back away.

  He didn’t. Not even deterred by my outburst. He just bent down, diligently picked me up off the ground as if I weighed nothing, carrying me over toward the bed, setting me down on the soft mattress. I instantly turned my rigid face away from him, not wanting to look into his tantalizing eyes. Pretending with everything I had left in me, that his touch, his kindness, his scent didn’t faze me.

  He finally stepped back, but I could still feel his warm breath on my neck. I struggled to release the nervous breath I’d been holding since I opened the bathroom door.

  “Don’t you know how to knock?” I asked, breathing through the anxiety threatening to attack me at any second. Hoping he wouldn’t notice, but knowing he noticed everything.

  “I refuse to knock on a door I own,” he simply stated, talking to the back of my head.

  I rolled my eyes still not looking at him. I fucking refused to give him that satisfaction. “Well, I’m staying here now. Without my consent, and against my will,” I added for good measure. “So knock on the damn door if you want to come in, and I’ll think about letting you in,” I stated, all proud of myself.

  He leaned over, grabbing my chin, turning my face to look up at him. I glared into his once again serene, bright green eyes.

  “That’s the second time you’ve looked away from me, instead of looking me in the fucking eyes when I’m talking to you, sweetheart. There won’t be a third.”

  I jerked my face away from his grasp, and he let me go. “I could have been naked. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Little girls don’t make you hard anyway, but the woman last night sure as hell did,” I spewed, not being able to hold it in any longer. Mentally chastising myself for letting him know it hurt me.

  He hurt me.

  His face was impassive, neutral. I couldn’t read one damn thing and it further fueled my pissed off mood. I abruptly stood, walking away from him. Not giving him the chance to answer. I didn’t want to hear his bullshit response I knew he was going to give me. I closed my eyes, biting my lip from the sudden harsh pain the swift movement caused.

  “You need to rest. You’re never going to heal if you don’t listen to me.”

  “No!” I called out, turning around to face him. My temper, taking over. “Stop telling me what to do! Just because you’re used to bossing everyone else around, doesn’t mean shit to me. Now, leave! Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out!” Throwing his exact words back at him from the day he kicked me out of his office, all those years ago.

  “Get in bed,” he calmly ordered in a monotone voice. Pointing his long index finger toward the mattress.

  “No,” I snarled, stepping toward him.

  His eyes glazed over, and I secretly loved finally getting some sort of emotion from him.

  “Get in the fucking bed, Lexi…” His hands, working into fists by his side.

  I stepped toward him again, getting right in his face this time. Looking him dead in the eyes, I clenched out, “No.”

  “Motherfucker!” he seethed from deep within his chest, cocking his head to the side with an eerie composure.

  It all happened so fast. I didn’t even see him coming. The next thing I knew he picked me up again, carrying me over to the bed in three steady strides, setting me down in the middle of the mattress.

  Holding me in place, he got close to my face, our mouths inches apart. He didn’t falter, speaking with execution, “I do not have time for your bullshit temper tantrums that you think I give a fuck about! When I tell you to do something, you fucking do it! I don't like to repeat myself. And I won't. Test me again, little girl. And watch what fucking happens to you. I’ll make you scream, and trust me, it won’t be from pleasure like it was for the woman I fucked last night.”

  My chest heaved as I took in his threats. Pushing me back into the pillows, he let me go. Turning and leaving me without so much as a second glance. I spent the rest of the day, stewing in bed.

  Exactly how he ordered me to.

  I rode in the limo, heading to the strip club, in silence. Needing to gather all my thoughts. So much had happened in a matter of forty-eight hours. Including her.

  Fucking Lexi.

  That woman was going to be the end of me, and the sad part about it was, she didn’t even realize it. My head was pounding, and it was barely eight in the fucking morning. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept for more than an hour or two. Always sleeping with one eye open, waiting for whatever may come my way. The days wound into nights, like the spindle of a fucking thread.

  I walked into my office, steering clear of all the bullshit my men were trying to bring to my attention. I sat in my leather office chair, setting my elbows on my desk, placing my throbbing head in between my hands. Allowing the silence to swallow me whole, relishing in the foreign feeling, even if it was just for a few minutes. I let it take over mind, body, and dark soul. Going from feeling so much over the last few days, to feeling nothing. My mind wasn’t used to it, and it had no fucking problem letting me know it didn’t appreciate the sentiment.

  “Martinez,” Leo interrupted, opening my office door, and shutting it behind him.

  “Fuck off,” I greeted, not bothering to look up.

  “Well aren't you just a delightful bag of shit this morning,” he chuckled, sitting in one of the chairs, facing my desk.

  If it were anyone else, I would have no problem putting a goddamn bullet in their balls if they ever talked to me that way. Leo was different.

  “The girl?” he asked, with no hesitation.

  “A pain in my fucking ass,” I simply stated.

  “You’re playing with fire,” he declared out of nowhere, bringing my attention up to him.

  I sat back in my chair, narrowing my eyes at my friend. “She's a kid, a fucking child. I need a woman, Leo. She could be my fucking kid for Christ’s sake.”

  “So be it. But she's a—”

  “Little girl,” I chimed in, annoyed. Knowing where he was going with this.

  “Legal. And in my book that's fucking fair game.”

  I shook my head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I don’t? You haven’t made me watch over Lexi for years?”

  Leo was the only man I trusted with her. The only man I knew would do the job right.

  “Hmm… she isn’t sleeping in your penthouse right now?” He leaned forward, placing his arms on my desk. “You didn’t murder one of your trusted, longtime associates for her either, right? Nikolai thought you were his friend.”

  “Friend is a term I use loosely. He was going to rape her. I had no choice. The motherfucker had it coming.”

  “Since when has another man’s sexual deviance bothered you? You’ve dealt with men far worse than him every day of your life, and you’ll continue to do so.”

  “What’s your point, Leo? I don’t have all fucking day to sit here and chit-chat like some schoolgirls in heat.”

  “I thought I was making it, maybe I should just draw a picture for your dumb ass.”

  I stood, needing to get the hell away from him as well. “Your wife makes you wear a condom, doesn’t she?”

  “Throw your insults at me all you want, buddy. I’m not the one that sleeps alone every night. Oh wait… I forgot, El Diablo doesn’t sleep, right? Now why do you think that is?”

  I glared at him.

  He laughed, throwing his head back. “Oh man, Martinez. You have got it bad. So fucking badly my friend. I never thought I’d see this day happen again. You better get your skates out
because your fucking world has just frozen over.”

  “Get the fuck out,” I gritted, not wanting to hear the shit he was brewing.

  “What are you going to do about Nikolai’s men?” he asked, ignoring my demand, staying put in his chair. “You know they’re not happy. They are fucking furious. They want the girl. You know that as much as I do. You may have pulled the trigger, but it was for her. She’s your weakness, and you made that loud and fucking clear. It’s only a matter of time until they figure it out.”

  “Why don’t you let me worry about Nikolai’s men.”

  “What about Lexi?”

  “What about her? She’s not anyone’s concern, but mine. Are we clear? No one is to lay a fucking finger on her.”

  He stood, rounding my desk. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” Patting me on the back and walking out.

  As soon as he left, I pulled my cellphone out of my suit jacket, hitting send as I sat back down in my chair.

  “Boss,” Rick answered after one ring.

  “We good?” I questioned, rapidly tapping my pen on my desk.

  “Everything’s taken care of. The girl—” I hung up, cutting him off.

  Spending most of the day thinking about Lexi.

  It was late by the time I made it back home. Going straight into my office, needing to finish up a few odds and ends, before making my way toward Lexi’s room. Thinking she would be asleep, I carefully opened her door like I had the night before. Ready to take my usual place in the armchair by her bed. I sat, watching her for a few seconds.

  “I’m not sleeping,” her voice rang out in the darkness.

  “I know.” I did the moment I walked into the room. I could feel her anywhere, especially when she was around me. The pull, the hold, the lock which only she possessed over me.

  “Of course you did. You know everything, oh wise one. You know what? You’re like a modern day fucking Yoda. Which seems kind of unfair if you think about it. You seem to know everything about me. Yet, I don’t know a damn thing about you, other than you walk around here with a stick up your ass. You expect me to stay here, in your home, with you. And all you seem to want is for me to listen to your every command, like I’m your damn dog.”