Because of Lila

  The smell of bacon filled the apartment when I reached the top stair. The large area was a great space. Open, roomy, and Lila Kate had put her touch on it. I smiled at all the reds and yellows. She loved bright colors. Somehow, she made colors that I normally wouldn’t care for attractive.

  There were pancakes on the bar along with blueberries and bacon. She had made him breakfast. Jealousy ate at me. The only thing keeping me sane was the fact the sofa bed was out and used. They hadn’t slept together. The idea of them wrapped up together last night had been what sent me to drinking. At one point, I’d drunk enough that I’d passed out. Only slept three hours before I was awake again tortured over the idea of them together.

  I picked up a piece of bacon and ate it, then went to see if there was milk in the fridge. I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten all night, and the more I thought about Lila Kate cooking all this for Eli, the more I wanted to eat it. Take what he thought was his. It was mine first, dammit.

  “I can’t keep doing this with you, Cruz,” Lila Kate said the moment she entered the apartment. She wasn’t crying anymore. She was more intense. Serious. “This is messing with my head. I’m a wreck. That guy you just ran off is a good guy. He’s sweet and kind. He likes me. He doesn’t need women everywhere to fawn over him to make him feel like a man. He is perfect. Completely perfect. So why is it that the moment you show up I forget all that? Why can’t you see that this is ruining me? This back and forth.” Her hands were on her hips, and she was keeping her distance. I wanted her here with me. Eating this food. Smiling at me. Up on this bar with her legs spread while I fucked her. There was a lot I wanted from her. But only one thing was important.

  “Do you love me?” I asked her. It was simple. It was what I needed to know.

  She sighed and closed her eyes tightly. “Yes. You already know I do.”

  That was what I needed to hear. I walked around the bar and straight to her. She opened her eyes when she heard me approach. They were haunted with pain. Pain that I had caused. Pain that she didn’t deserve. I’d make that up to her. I would spend my life doing it.

  “Then forgive me. Please. Give me another chance. Because Lila Kate Carter, I’m completely in love with you. I can’t see my life without you in it. All I want when I open my eyes every morning is to see you there beside me. And at night to sleep with you in my arms. Just, let me show you I can be that guy. The one you thought you had found in Eli. I can be him. Just a little more fucking exciting because he is too damn structured and you’d soon be bored as hell.”

  “Why now? What changed?” she asked. Still cautious and unsure.

  “Because I can’t fight this anymore. I thought I was protecting you from me, but I can be the guy you deserve. I love you so fucking much there will never be a man that loves you more. That much I can guarantee you.”

  She smiled. It was small and soft then she shook her head in disbelief. “I’m a fool.”

  That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

  “No, you’re not.”

  She tilted her head back. Her chin lifted. “Yes. I am. Because as I stand here and argue with you, I know that I am going to forgive you. I’ll do it again too if I have to. Why can’t I shake you, Cruz? Why? What is the insane hold you have on me?”

  My heart felt so damn full I wanted to do a fist pump and let out a shout of victory. “I’m pretty damn sweet,” I teased her.

  She smirked. “No, you’re not.”

  “Okay. fine. Maybe not sweet. But I can be. I’m going to be. I am going to be all you need me to be. I swear it.”

  “What happens when you get bored with me?”

  I reached for her then. “I’ve known you all my life. Never once have you bored me. Not even when you were so uptight you could barely walk,” I grinned as I said it.

  She laughed. That had been what I was trying for. “That’s not exactly smooth talking.”

  I held her back and pressed her up against me. “No? I’ll work on that then.”

  Bending down I kissed her lips softly. She leaned into me and kissed back. A soft, pleased moan came from her mouth, and I tasted deeper. Held her closer. This was all I was going to need. It made all the other times, all the other girls and women pale. They were forgettable. Lila Kate had claimed my soul.

  Lila Kate

  THE LAST OF the blueberry pancakes I’d made for Eli were finished off by Cruz as he sat beside me at the bar. His left hand was on my thigh while he used his right hand to eat. He’d kept me close. Even after our kiss, he hadn’t wanted to stop touching me. As if I were going to vanish.

  As unreal as this all was, I was dealing with guilt over the way Eli had left. I’d tried to talk to him and convince him to stay but he’d been right. He and I never stood a chance as long as Cruz was taking up so much space in my heart.

  “This was amazing. I was starving. A night full of regret and Jack Daniels will do that to you.”

  I smiled and started to move, but his hand clamped down on my leg. “Don’t go.”

  “I was just going to clean up.”

  He turned to face me and captured my legs between his thighs. “It will keep. You don’t have to clean it just yet.”

  The way he looked at me had me worried this was a dream and I was about to wake up. It was hard to accept. “You just want to sit here and look at each other then?” I asked him enjoying this. In case I did wake up soon and had to be heartbroken over it.

  “We could,” he said then his hands went to my pajama top and pulled it over my head. I hadn’t put on a bra this morning since my pajamas were baggy. My breasts were bared to him. His focus on those and nothing else. “Or I could continue to get you naked, carry you over to that sofa bed and sink my dick into that silky hot pussy of yours,” his voice had lowered to his sexy growl.

  “Oh,” I replied.

  He chuckled. “Yeah, oh,” he repeated and then I was in his arms and we were headed to the sofa bed.

  He nibbled on my ear causing me to squirm in his arms and started whispering exactly what he wanted to do to me. Just like in New Orleans he was focused on me. How he could make me feel. But when he put me down I didn’t lie back. I wasn’t nervous. Not now.

  I reached up and began to undo his jeans. He watched me. He didn’t speak or move. I got them undone and pulled them down his hips until they fell to the ground and he stepped out of them. I then jerked his boxer briefs down and his larger than I remembered thick penis of his sprang free.

  “You keep looking at my cock like that, and we aren’t gonna have any foreplay,” he warned.

  I got on my knees and ran my hands up the front of his thighs. The muscles under my hands tensed. His body went completely still as if frozen. When my right hand wrapped around his hard shaft he groaned. I didn’t give him time to react. My mouth covered the head, and I pulled as much into my mouth with one suck as possible.

  “Fuuuuck,” he groaned and his knees buckling. A hand was on my head, and his thighs were trembled. “Lila, Jesus.”

  As my mouth covered the smooth skin, my hand began to easily slide up and down it with a pump after each lick and pull of my mouth. Cruz began panting. His breath was uneven and hard. I could hear it, and I savored the way he was completely under my control.

  My tongue circled the head and he hissed as his hand fisted in my hair. My ponytail wrapped around his hand as he began to pull and push my head as I worked my mouth over him.

  “I don’t want to know why you’re so good at this. Jesus, Lila, holy hell this is better than all the times I’ve imagined this while taking a shower.”

  I smiled up at him, and he smirked as his chest rose and fell rapidly. I watched him. Keeping our eyes connected as I ran my tongue over him. Teasing. Flicking the tip and then going back down on it.

  “God, baby, just like that. Fuck, that’s good.”

  I had never wanted to give a guy a blow job before. But Cruz. I’d imagined this and thought about it. Wished for it. More than once over the past few years.
br />   “I can’t,” he groaned and pulled me back then tossed me on the bed. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated. With one tug, he had my pajama bottoms and panties off. The firm muscular body I was fascinated with covered me. “Open for me, Lila,” he demanded.

  My thighs fell open, and he captured both my wrists and held them over my head. Pinned to the mattress. “I was gonna be fucking sweet, but now I need this pussy. You’ve made me crazy, and this won’t be anything resembling sweet, baby.”

  The first thrust was hard and I cried out from the pain but my body tingled with pleasure.

  “You,” he growled then plunged into me again. “Can’t. Suck my dick like a pro and look like an angel and expect me to be sane.”

  I started to laugh when he filled me again and again, taking my breath. All my thoughts. Just the steady climb toward the release I knew was coming. The beautiful explosion that was only possible in his arms.

  “I’m addicted to this. To you. Your goddamn pussy,” he said it like he was angry about it. But then he began kissing my neck and taking little bites of my skin. It was erotic and sweet even if he thought it wasn’t. Cruz would never be like Eli. He wasn’t structured, polite, or predictable. Those were traits that I had. I craved something else. I craved the excitement of Cruz’s wildness, dirty mouth, rule breaking. All the things I wasn’t. It balanced me. He was my fit.

  “Lila,” he said as he lifted his head and sank into me completely.

  “Yes,” I was breathless.

  “I love you, but I’m about to flip you over and fuck you like a paid for it.”

  I didn’t have time to respond before he had me on all fours and his hands were on my hips as he began to pound into me from behind. I lost my breath. The angle where he entered me sent me closer to the climax I craved.

  “So fucking proper and perfect with your ass up in the air for me to fuck,” he said between thrusts. “Come for me baby,” it sounded like a command. My body reacted like it was one.

  I burst into flames and cried out his name. He pulled free and unloaded his release all over my backside. I felt the heat of the liquid as it hit me. We both went still. My body was humming from being taken so fiercely.

  “I’ve got a thing for coming all over your body,” he drawled.

  “I like it,” I admitted smiling into the pillow I had collapsed on.

  “Stay right here,” he said as if I had the energy to get up and go anywhere. I was close to passing out. Sleeping for a bit sounded good. My body spent in the best way imaginable.

  A warm cloth startled me as it ran over my back, bottom and between my thighs. With one last wipe, he slid it over the sensitive area between my thighs and I gasped.

  “Tender?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  He lay down beside me pulling me against him. “Sorry I was so rough. You set me off with the world class cock sucking.”

  I giggled and buried my head in his chest.

  “Laugh all you want. You’re a pro, and now that your mouth isn’t on my dick I am a little worried about how you got so damn good.”

  I moved so I could see him. His arms still around me. “You’ve slept with hundreds of women, and you’re worried about my blowjob abilities?”

  He scowled. “Yes. I am.”

  I laughed then. Simply because I had only done this once before and I wasn’t a big fan of it then.

  “Glad you think I’m funny,” he didn’t sound pleased.

  “What if I said I’m worried about the fact you can undress a girl and be inside her in less than thirty seconds?”

  He was still scowling. “I’d say you knew I was a whore. I know you’re a good girl. There’s the difference.”

  I buried my head in his neck and traced a heart on his chest. “It was because it was you,” I finally admitted.

  “What?” he asked.

  “It was you. I wanted to. I’d dreamed about it. Fantasized. You know.”

  He pulled back and tilted my head back until I had to look at him. “Are you telling me you’ve been fantasizing about sucking my dick?”

  I nodded.

  “Damn, baby. All you had to do was say ‘Cruz, can I suck your dick?’ and I’d have made that dream come true a lot faster.”

  Cruz Kerrington

  I HAD SHIT to fix. It was vital that I handled it before it was too late. Some secrets were best kept that way. Mine was one of them. I wasn’t going to lose Lila Kate now that I had enough guts to admit I wanted her. That I loved her. I’d jumped in and done this. I wasn’t letting go. Nor was I going to let her.

  She’d become as important to me as breathing. Scary as hell. But the truth.

  Leaving her to work at her studio while I went to the club for a meeting with Dad would have been the safe thing. The smart thing. But the idea of leaving her hadn’t been appealing so I asked her to come with me, and we’d have lunch.

  She didn’t want this world. She had run from it. She had moved across town. Yet I was reminding her that I was this world. I would one day own the club and all that came with it. Sure, she knew where my future was but I still didn’t want to remind her. Not this damn soon.

  When we pulled up to valet and got out of the car to go inside, she seemed happy enough. I slid my arm around her waist and she didn’t freeze or act nervous. She was fine with this public display of affection. I was just beginning to enjoy myself when Shelby, a waitress whose last name I did not remember, came walking out of the dining room. I muttered a curse under my breath when her eyes locked on me and she smiled. Completely nonplussed by the fact my arm was around Lila Kate’s waist.

  “Cruz,” she said giving me a smile that was too familiar. Too damn sexual.

  “Hello,” I replied with a nod hoping to keep walking on past her. She was an employee; therefore, it was a given I should know who she was. It wasn’t a given, however, that I should know that she got a Brazilian wax once a month.

  “I’m just getting off the breakfast shift.” She winked at me as if this meant something.

  “Then enjoy the rest of your day.” Hopefully, she took the hint. Her eyes shifted from me to Lila Kate, and they widened as if just now realizing I was with someone.

  “Are y’all . . .” she didn’t finish that question as she wagged her finger back and forth at both of us.

  “Yes, we are,” I replied. “Enjoy your Saturday.” I then moved on hoping Shelby was done with her questioning.

  “You don’t have to get so tense when that happens. Cruz. I’ve known you my entire life. It’s going to happen a lot.”

  I gazed down at Lila Kate. “I wish I could make it stop. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

  She smirked. “Dating you means dealing with all your past relationships.”

  “Shelby wasn’t a relationship. She was a fuck.”

  Lila Kate sighed. “I was trying to be more delicate.”

  That made me laugh. “Shelby never considered me a relationship either. I promise.”

  With a small lift of her shoulder she said, “I don’t imagine any girl did.”

  Never had I wished I could go back and change shit. Until now. Lila Kate’s opinion of me wasn’t great. And what sucked most was it wasn’t even accurate. I was much worse than she thought.

  “I’ll get a table and order a drink while you meet with your dad,” she told me as we neared the restaurant entrance.

  “Okay. I won’t be long. I’ll let him know you’re waiting on me. That should make his fucking year.”

  “Are you ready to tell your parents about this? Don’t you think we should wait until you’re sure?” The doubt in her voice and her words stung. Even now after the dramatic scene I’d made this morning, she was still being cautious. I deserved it.

  I pulled her hand up to my chest and pressed a kiss to her fingers. “I’m not sure where I wasn’t clear this morning. But I am positive. There is no question in my mind. Is there in yours?” Because if she still didn’t know if she wanted to do this I might ha
ve to resort to drastic measures. Like kidnaping her and taking her off to a cabin in the mountains and making sure she was as addicted to me as I was her.

  I sighed inwardly. The fact I’d just thought something like that meant I was sunk too deep.

  “I’ve been sure since I was fourteen,” she replied.

  I had started pushing her away even back then. When I knew we had something, but I’d hurt her in the end. So I hurt her in the beginning. I had a lot of years to make up for now.

  I grabbed the back of her head and kissed her until she was clinging to me and our chests were rising and falling rapidly. “I love you,” I reminded her. Then I pressed one more kiss to her lips before turning toward my father’s office.

  I hadn’t been this damn happy about being here, breathing air, and eating at this place in a long damn time. Since childhood at least.

  I glanced back to make sure Lila Kate had gone into the dining room before knocking n my dad’s door.

  “Come in,” he called out.

  For once I wasn’t dreading it. I opened the door, and Dad stood there leaning against the front of his desk with his arms crossed over his