Throb

  “I can’t wait until you go. You’ll see. Something happens when you walk into a silent room that is dark as night and a man’s hands touch you. A man you know is sexy.”

  Our conversation trails off as we both gape at Jessica when the door opens. She’s wearing a bikini. The same nipple cover she wore at the last challenge. Only this time, she has the matching g-string bottom on instead of cut-off shorts. She shuts the door and wastes no time making her way to Flynn when his voice dictates the direction she needs to move in.

  Flynn stands, his hands reaching for her hips and he finds bare skin. Rather than start at the bottom, as he’s done with all the other contestants, his hands slither to her back and he reaches around, finding a hand full of bare ass. Abruptly, he sits back down and pushes a button.

  “You’re going to look great in my t-shirt,” I gloat quietly to Ava as I walk toward the door, where I’m being beckoned to prepare for my turn.

  Tonight’s cocktail hour is the usual mix of mean girls on one side of the room, Ava and me on the other. It’s going to be pretty lonely for one of us when the other is sent home. We’ve been nothing but nice to Jessica and her clique, I’m not even sure what I’ve done to alienate them, but their animosity toward me seems to grow by the day.

  “You ladies look gorgeous. As usual.” Flynn brings two glasses of wine over to where Ava and I are huddled and offers them to us.

  “Thank you. You look pretty good yourself. At least I can see what you look like now.” I smile and sip my wine.

  “I can always see what you look like, Kate. Even in the dark, it’s up here.” Flynn taps his finger to his temple with a mischievous grin. “So what do you ladies think? Any guesses on who wins?”

  “Jessica,” Ava and I respond in unison.

  Flynn smiles, but the now familiar bell calls our attention. It’s time for an announcement of some sort. The three of us make our way to the center of the room where the host, Ryan, is waiting. A television is rolled in once we’re all gathered.

  “Ladies. You all got to watch a little of the challenge today. But what you didn’t get to see was your own time with Flynn. Tonight you will each get to watch your own replay. In private. With Flynn. We’ve added some things to the bottom of the screen for your viewing pleasure. On the lower left-hand side, you’ll see a clock. The clock will continue to run until Flynn makes his guess as to which contestant is in the room. But you will have the opportunity to view the full five minutes that you spent with your boyfriend. You will not, however, find out if Flynn correctly identified you. Instead, after your video is viewed, you’ll be given a card with your time to hold up at tonight’s challenge ceremony. Flynn will then give out a flower to each contestant he correctly identified. The constant holding a flower with the lowest time will be the lucky winner of the last, and very romantic, one-on-one date tomorrow night.”

  Chatter erupts in the room. “Okay, ladies. Let’s get started. Mercedes, why don’t you join Flynn in the other room and be the first to watch your video.”

  **

  Jessica squeals as she returns to the group after her viewing. She holds up her sign, waving it proudly over her head. Giant black bold typeface announces how easily identifiable she truly is, even in the dark. Eighteen seconds. Damn, I’m good. “Think I have a matching baseball cap for your t-shirt,” I whisper to Ava before walking toward the viewing room for my turn.

  Flynn kisses me on the cheek and pats the loveseat next to him. Even though he’s probably done the same act four times before I walked through the door, he has a way of making me feel like the act is just for me.

  Using a remote, he dims the lights in the room, slings his arm around my shoulder and snuggles me close to him as the video begins to play.

  On screen, I’m hesitant as I shut the door. The utter darkness was difficult to adjust to, but that wasn’t the reason for my uncertainty. I was more anxious about the man in the chair and what I would feel with his hands on me. His playful voice comforted me quickly with two simple words: “Wanna dance?” I remember thinking he couldn’t possibly know it was me, yet the words made me feel like he did.

  I watch the screen, feeling a bit voyeuristic even though it’s me. I make my way to Flynn, his voice guiding me as he hums a song. The same song he sang to me the night he asked me to dance on the balcony. On screen, I smile and walk toward where he’s sitting. Our knees bump lightly as I reach him, and I remember catching my balance as I began to lean forward, thinking I was going to wind up in his lap. But it’s the next part I don’t remember. Before ever touching me, Flynn smiles and presses a button. The clock stops at eighteen seconds.

  I squirm a bit in my seat when Flynn’s hands start at my ankles and slowly trace their path up my body. He’s a gentleman, well, as much as anyone can be a gentleman while he feels up a woman in the dark while a camera records the entire thing. But my palms start to sweat when he reaches my hips. On screen, his hands glide over my waist and begin to travel higher. Reaching the side of my breast, the low song he’d been lightly humming suddenly stops. Just in time for the microphone to pick up the distinct hitch of my breath.

  Flynn’s eyes turn to watch me, watch us. He knows his touch affected me.

  The tension in the room is palpable. I’m glad the ceremony isn’t in the kitchen, because Jessica looks like she wouldn’t mind slicing me into a Kate sandwich she could chew up and spit out. But then Flynn walks to the front of the room and the daggers in her eyes miraculously soften to reverence as she flips her flowing blond locks from her shoulder. The girl could be an actress.

  “Ladies. I’m sorry to say that I did not get a perfect score on today’s competition. There are two women who I failed to properly identify. And for that, I apologize to those women.”

  Ryan, the host, interrupts. “The flowers that Flynn is about to give out were chosen by Flynn specifically for each woman. Unfortunately, only four of the flowers will be given out.” With all the dramatic flare he can muster, Ryan removes two flowers from the table—a traditional solemn red rose and a cheerful Gerber daisy.

  Handing out the first three flowers, Flynn explains his reason for selecting each one as he slips the flower behind each contestant’s ear. Only a white calla lily remains to be handed out, even though there are three contestants not yet decorated—me, Ava and Jessica. Jessica and I have the lowest time, so if either of us receives the flower, we will win the date.

  “The calla lily symbolizes purity and innocence, which is why it’s frequently used to celebrate weddings,” Flynn begins. “While I wouldn’t necessarily call this beautiful lady innocent, I thought of her as soon as I saw the flower.” He pauses for a moment. “Kate—this flower is for you.”

  There’ll be no avoiding alone time tomorrow on our one-on-one date.

  chapter eighteen

  Cooper

  Stephen Blake is a Hollywood super-agent. He’s the guy who turns down clients who command five million a film just because he doesn’t like the actor’s personality. If actually liking an actor was a requirement for Hollywood agents, I’m pretty sure most of this town would be unrepresented.

  “Miriam. It’s good to see you. You still doing all the work and letting Stephen take the credit?” I lean down and kiss Miriam Blake on the cheek as I reach the table the two are already seated at. I immediately notice four place settings before I even sit.

  “He still refuses to put my name on the letterhead, even though I closed more deals than he did last year.” Miriam rolls her eyes at her husband. I’ve been stirring the same pot with these two since as far back as I can remember.

  “Your name is on the letterhead. Blake. That’s your name, isn’t it?”

  “The Stephen Blake Agency is not my name. It should be Blake and Blake. Right, Cooper?”

  “Of course, Miriam.” Stephen waves his hand at me, dismissing my encouragement of his wife. The two have been business partners for thirty years, married for twenty-nine. Miriam was also my mother’s cousin.
>
  “So … I invited a friend to join us.”

  Of course she did. She always does. No matter how many times I decline her matchmaking services. “A friend?”

  “One of the female persuasion,” Miriam says, as if I might not be aware she was going to bring a woman tonight. She’s so focused on marrying me off, I’m honestly not sure if my father told her to see that I marry well or if she just uses that excuse so I don’t decline. Either way, it’s impossible to tell Miriam Blake no, even when you actually say no.

  A few minutes later, a woman apprehensively joins our table. “Alexandra, sweetheart,” Miriam greets her as we all stand. She’s stunning. Hair a rich shade of mahogany, flawless porcelain skin, straight nose, full lips and eyes so pale I have to look twice to see if they’re real or contacts.

  “Cooper, this is Alexandra Sawyer. She’s just signed with our firm. Another one of my brilliant finds.” Stephen ignores her jab, instead holding up his glass, clanking the lonely ice around in the direction of a passing waiter.

  “Nice to meet you, Alexandra.” I pull out her chair for her.

  Miriam skips the normal gratuitous small talk in favor of going in for the kill. She dives right into Alexandra’s resume with a hard sell—she moved to California from Greece, speaks four languages fluently, graduated from the prestigious Guildhall School in London …”And she’s single. Imagine that?” Miriam’s an agent; beating around the bush isn’t her strong point. She winks at both of us.

  Alexandra definitely hasn’t been in this town long enough. She actually blushes when she catches on to what Miriam is none too subtly hinting at. I’ve grown so accustomed to the bluntness of this town, sometimes I forget how tactless it can be. But her blush makes her seem like a real person. “Ignore her, she has the subtlety of a jackhammer,” I whisper when Miriam excuses herself to take a call. “Would you like a glass of wine? You’re probably going to need it with these two.”

  We talk over dinner and drinks for more than two hours. Miriam has tried to fix me up dozens of times, but never with a woman like this. Alexandra is smart, beautiful, poised … the adjectives to describe her are endless. So why is it I’m more interested in talking shop with Stephen than getting to know the stunning—and available—woman?

  “You know, Alexandra just accepted a deal with Fox as a correspondent,” Miriam says in an attempt to break up the business discussion Stephen and I have going.

  “That’s great. What show?” I say. I’d actually assumed she was an actress.

  “Entertainment Fashion Files. I’m doing their nightly style report.”

  “Congratulations.”

  “It’s not exactly my dream job. But it’s a foot in the door.”

  “We had three networks that wanted her. We took a short contract. We know she’s destined for bigger things,” Miriam adds proudly.

  I nod and smile politely. The conversation falls awkwardly silent for a moment, so I try to feign interest, even though I really want to grab the check when the next waiter passes by. “What was your project before this one?”

  “I was on a reality show,” she replies sheepishly.

  “Which one?”

  “Mr. Right.”

  “Is that one of Miles’s?” I look to Miriam. I can’t keep track of all his reality programs anymore. Well, except for one I may or may not have a bit of a small obsession with.

  “No. It was on cable.”

  “Was the bachelor a nice guy?” Curiosity gets the best of me.

  “Well. He was on the show. Or at least I thought he was.”

  “But he wasn’t?” See. I knew my first instinct was right. Flynn is a dickhead.

  “It’s just really hard to see a person for who they are in that environment. You see what they want you to see.”

  “What did they want you to see?”

  “A great guy.”

  “Was it a show where the women are eliminated?”

  “Aren’t they all?” She smiles resignedly.

  “I suppose.” The waiter interrupts and I finally get the chance to ask for the check, but this conversation has definitely captured my attention. “How long did you last on the show?”

  “Until the end.”

  “You were the winner?”

  “If you can call it that.”

  “How long until you split up?”

  “I found out he was sleeping with the wardrobe person the day after the finale.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Thanks. But it’s okay. It opened doors for me. I’m just a little embarrassed I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. The producers make it impossible to not get caught up in the moment. They create a fairytale. The problem is, the prince turns into a pumpkin instead of Prince Charming.”

  An hour later I’m back home. I didn’t even bother to ask for Alexandra’s number. It made for an awkward departure, but leading people on was never my thing. She’s beautiful, yet it’s not her face I keep replaying in my mind from tonight. The producers make it impossible to not get caught up in the moment. Her words echo in my head, over and over.

  I can’t stop myself from picking up the DVD. It’s been sitting on the dining room table since the doorman handed it to me on the way back from my run this morning. I woke up thinking about Kate, thought the run would help me clear my mind. No such luck.

  Now the damned thing is taunting me. The labeled jewel case is like a magnet to my eyes. I stalk through my apartment to find something to busy myself with, but it’s no use. My eyes constantly flicker back and forth. Settling in on the couch after a shower, I grab the paper and force my mind into the business section. The table is in sight from the corner of my eye. Like a child unable to control himself, I actually have to raise the newspaper so the case is out of view. I read the same paragraph three times anyway.

  Goddamn it. I should tell Miles to stop sending the dailies. But I won’t. Because I’m pussy-whipped obsessed with a woman who is dating another man.

  I curse myself as I angrily swipe the case from the table and head to my laptop.

  Dickhead comes on screen first. He’s being interviewed by the host alone.

  “So, Flynn, you’ve got a pretty big decision coming up. The final four—overnight dates. You’ve got to have some strong feelings for these ladies to pick them at this point. Tell me, are you struggling with your choices? What’s going on in that head of yours right now?”

  “Well, Ryan. You’re right, I am struggling, but probably not for the reasons you think. I do have some strong feelings, but some of the ladies, well, one in particular, I can’t read where her head is at.”

  “You don’t think your feelings are being reciprocated?”

  “I’m not sure. It’s hard to tell. She’s incredible, but I feel like she’s still holding back.”

  “And why do you think that is?”

  “That’s the struggle. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t penetrated her heart the same way she has mine. But then there’s these other times … when she opens up and we have these incredible moments and I think she feels it too. Those times, I wonder if the camera is what’s holding her back.” It’s not the camera, Dickhead.

  “Tough choice. So how do you decide if she should be in the final four?”

  “Oh. That’s the only one I’m sure about. There’s no doubt I’m picking her to go to the final four. There are no cameras in the overnight suite. A night alone is exactly what the two of us need.”

  I slam my laptop shut so hard, the screen cracks.

  chapter nineteen

  Kate

  Downward dog is usually my favorite yoga pose. Hands and feet against the floor to form an upside down v, it should decrease tension by elongating the cervical spine. But it doesn’t. It reminds me of three mornings ago and Cooper bending me over in the shower while he defiled my body, mercilessly pounding into me with unrelenting focus.

  “Your ass looks good. No wonder two men want to tap that thing,” Sadie says from behind me. And not quietly.


  “Shhh.” Through my legs I look back at my friend, who is out of proper position. Instead of her head looking at her feet, it’s bent forward to look at my ass in front of her.

  The cute instructor comes by, shaking his head at Sadie and raising his finger to his lips to ask her to keep it down. He stands behind me and splays his hand on my lower back, applying light pressure to nudge my heels further down into the stretch. “Great, Kate. Perfect,” he says before moving on.

  “Even the yogi wants to hit that ass,” Sadie whispers, or at least tries to.

  We finish our hot yoga class, both drenched from sweat as we start our half-mile walk back to our apartment. “So tonight’s the big night. Last one-on-one date. One step closer to the final four. Make it through and you’ll have enough to catch the bills up.”

  “Making the final four, and getting the first round of prize money, will give me some breathing room, although I don’t really have a plan for how I’m going to fix things long term.”

  “When you win the show, the prize money will go a long way.”

  “I’m not going to win the show.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because our relationship hasn’t moved in that direction. We’re more like buddies.”

  “Didn’t you tell me he felt you up the other day?”

  “Yes, but that was in a competition.”

  “Did your heart race increase when he had his hands on you?”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “It is the point. You like this guy. If it wasn’t for meeting Cooper, you’d probably be into him.”

  I sigh. “Maybe. But I just can’t be with two guys at the same time.”

  “You’re not with Cooper.”

  “I slept with him.”

  “I slept with our Chem professor in college. Didn’t mean I wanted to be with him.”

  “You slept with Professor Mulch?” I stop in my tracks.