The Crime and the Criminal

  CHAPTER XVII.

  A LITTLE GAME.

  Six or seven of us were in the street outside the club when the meetingwas over. Where the rest had vanished to I do not know. There was not acab to be seen. I doubt if a cab ever does ply for hire in thatlocality. Besides, what would be one cab among so many? The night wasfine. Archie put his arm through mine.

  "Come along, lets pad the hoof, my dears."

  Off we went, the lot of us abreast. We had not gone a dozen yardsbefore we came upon a policeman coming along as if the pavement hadbeen in his family for years.

  "Now, officer," cried Silvester, "make way!"

  The officer slowed. He thrust his thumbs into his belt. He surveyed uswith a genial grin which might almost have suggested that we werefriends of his.

  "What are you gentlemen doing here? This isn't the sort of placefor the likes of you. If some of the chaps caught sight of thoseshirt-fronts of yours they might rumple 'em a bit."

  Silvester pulled up the collar of his coat.

  "My dear Mr. Policeman, how you frighten us! Could you tell us where weare or which is the way to anywhere?"

  The officer jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

  "If you go straight on, through Strutton Ground, it'll take you outinto Victoria Street, but you'll find it a roughish way."

  We did find it a roughish way. We also found that there were someroughish people thereabouts, especially the proprietors of the costers'barrows. It must have been at least eleven, but they were carrying on amarket in the gutter as briskly as if it had been the middle of theday. I said to Archie, as soon as I saw what sort of place it was, thatwe had better sneak through in single file, and thank our stars when wefound ourselves out of it. But the others didn't seem to see it. Theywere bent on improving the shining hour. And they improved it. When Idid begin to understand that I was in Victoria Street, at last, somegentleman had borrowed my hat, and I had to tie a handkerchief under mychin to keep the rest of my hair on my head.

  "A lively five minutes," observed Teddy, picking what were eitherpieces of a potato or of an onion from his eye.

  I moved a little from him. Owing to his having been upset among thedried fish on a coster's barrow he smelt a bit strong. Silvester heldup something in the air.

  "I've got a cabbage, and, by jove, I believe some one's got my watch."

  There was a roar of voices issuing from the street through which we hadcome.

  "Here they are again!" I cried. "I've had enough of it. I'm off. Hi!cabby!"

  Two hansoms were prowling by. I jumped into one. Two or three of thefellows followed me. We drove away from our friends of Strutton Groundwith a parting yell, the rest of the fellows in the second hansombringing up the rear.

  They would not let us in at the Criterion. The individual at the doorseemed to think that there was something in our appearance which wasnot exactly what it ought to be. Silvester presented him with thecabbage for which, quite unintentionally, he had exchanged his watch.But so far from allowing that handsome contribution to the familylarder--it had cost Eugene perhaps fifty pounds--to melt his heart, thestiff-necked Cerberus actually threatened us with the police. So weadjourned to the tavern at the corner till they turned us out. Then wewent for a quiet stroll along Piccadilly, seven abreast, which soonlanded us in the thick of a row. It was a fight of giants while itlasted. But the police were one too many. They bore the Honourable offin triumph. We followed him in a body to Vine Street Station, whereevery one was most polite. But they wouldn't hear of bail. A policemanhad a most dreadful eye, and he made out that it was Jem. So we had toleave him in the hands of cruel strangers to spend the night. Poor Jem!

  When we got outside, being all of us so clear-headed and in such athoroughly judicial frame of mind, Archie proposed that we shouldadjourn to his place and have a hand at cards. We belonged to perhapstwo dozen clubs between us, but they were none of them sufficientlycerulean--though blue enough--to have admitted us without our firsthaving gone through the ceremony of going home and washing ourselvesand changing our clothes. So, as that sort of thing would have been anawful bore, we snapped at Archie's kind invite. And some uncivilpoliceman coming up and suggesting that it would be well for our ownhealth and for the health of the neighbourhood if we stood not on theorder of our going, we tumbled into a couple of cabs and went.

  Archie's rooms were in Wilton Street. As the cabs drew up at his door,Pendarvon came strolling up. He pulled up at the sight of us. Hestared. He appeared surprised. As every one who had been favoured witha near view of us during the last hour or so had appeared surprised,however much we might feel wounded, we could scarcely openly resentsuch an exhibition on the part even of a friend.

  "What on earth have you fellows been doing?" he inquired. "You don'tseem to me to have a whole suit of clothes between you."

  Archie explained--

  "My dear Pendarvon, if you had been doing what we have been doing, youwould look as we are looking. Come inside!"

  So Pendarvon entered with the rest of us.

  When we were in we found that with Pendarvon we were six. We had beenseven without him. The Honourable we had dropped at Vine Street, andLister, for anything any one seemed to know to the contrary, was aclear case of lost, stolen, or strayed. Of the six, Gravesend wasobviously no good for cards. He fell asleep as soon as he had found achair to do it on. It did not seem to rouse him to any appreciableextent even when he tumbled off. The best we could do for him was toput him comfortably to bed on the hearthrug in Archie's bedroom. Therewas no fear of his doing himself a mischief if he rolled about.

  Of the five who were left, Teddy was not exactly fit. But as the ideaof leaving him out, filled him with nothing else but wrath, we cut himin. Silvester had quenched his thirst, but I do not think I ever sawhim too drunk to play. He presented a truly remarkable spectacle asregards attire. The gentleman who had borrowed his watch, or some ofhis friends, had taken away the large portion of his shirt to wrap itup in. His coat was slit right down his back. Waistcoat he had none.And he had tied his braces round his waist in order to retainpossession of what was left him of his trousers. However, with theassistance of one of Archie's dressing-gowns, he managed. The moreArchie drinks, the more he's in the vein. As for me, I was ready toplay for my boots. And Pendarvon was as sober as a judge.

  Beaupre made it poker--poker is his pet game. We began with a tenshilling ante, and a ten pound limit. It made a pretty game, while itlasted. In the first jack-pot, when it came to threes, Silvesterdeclared that all his cash was gone. It was he began the IOU's. Teddy'sluck was wonderful. Before very long very nearly all our ready-moneyhad gone his way. I had ten tenners and gold when I began. They soonpaid a visit to Teddy. Pendarvon seemed to have a pocket full of money.He brought out a whole sheaf of bank-notes to give our appetites atwist.

  Teddy had just taken another plump jack-pot when Beaupre ran dry. Hereplenished his pockets at his desk. When he came back, Pendarvon wasabout to deal.

  "Don't you think," he said, "that this is a little slow? Suppose wedouble the limit. Teddy, I suppose you don't object."

  Teddy said he didn't. More than half drunk, and fancying himself in thevein, he was not likely to object. I took it that Archie had alreadylost a hundred and fifty. I saw that he had only brought about anothercentury to table. I guessed--for reasons--that he was squeezed forfunds. I suspected that he might not care to plunge deeper than we werealready. And so, to save him, I struck in.

  "So far as I am concerned, I am content to go on as we are. It's goodenough for me."

  To my surprise, and to my amusement, Archie was quite vehement upon theother side.

  "Rubbish! This sort of thing's only fit for babes, not men! Reggie,where's your courage--make it twenty."

  So we made the limit twenty pounds.

  Luck began to slip away from Teddy--small wonder either! He did someoutrageous bluffing, against Pendarvon, too, who is one of the hardestmen to bluff there
is about. Teddy waxed wild. He and Pendarvon werethe only two left in. They raised each other till there was, perhapsfive hundred in the pool. Then Pendarvon saw him. Teddy threw down hiscards with a curse.

  "Ace high."

  "Fours."

  Pendarvon showed four sevens. Teddy had paid for his whistle.

  After that, the luck, and, for the matter of that, the play too, wentdead against him. He kept on drinking--he was not in the least fit forpoker, but he would keep on playing. Archie, too, kept on the shadyside. Silvester about held his own. I had an occasional hand worthbacking. Pendarvon and I bid fair to share the spoils.

  One round we all came in. I was first bettor. Silvester was blind. Iopened with the limit. Each man went the limit better in his turn. Whenthere was four hundred in the pool Silvester went out. Another round ortwo and Teddy went. There was over five hundred in the pool. Pendarvonhad raised the limit over Archie. It was sixty pounds for me to comein. I had a straight, knave high. I saw the sixty. Archie saw it, andwent twenty better. Pendarvon raised him twenty. I saw the forty.Archie scribbled another IOU--he had been reduced for some time topaper. He had raised again. Pendarvon followed suit. I thought that itwas enough for me, and went. The two kept at it. There must have beenover a thousand in before Pendarvon saw. Archie laid down his hand,with a smile, as though he felt sure that, this time, the luck was his.

  "A full--queens high."

  Pendarvon laughed.

  "Not good enough! I take this pool--I pip you."

  He also had a full--with three kings on top. Silvester spoke.

  "Will somebody kindly stick a penknife into Teddy."

  I looked up--poor Teddy was asleep. When, however, we charged him withit, he endeavoured to wake up and call us names. He insisted oncontinuing to play. It proved to be as much as he could do to pick uphis cards--more than he could do to see them when picked up. The verynext round, when asked if he proposed to cover the ante, he threw downhis cards face upwards on the table, observing that it was no goodcoming in on a hand like that. He had held three queens! I struck. Ideclined to go shares in a robbery.

  "Teddy," I remarked, "if you'll take my advice you'll go home to bed.Just now poker's not your line."

  "I'm not feeling very well," he said. "I hate this game; it makes meill. Let's play something else."

  "We will. We'll sing 'Rock-a-by, baby,' and play at going to sleep.Come along, Teddy, let me offer you the temporary loan of my arm."

  Archie interposed.

  "Hang it, Reggie, you're not going! Put the beggar to sleep alongsideGravesend on the rug."

  "I'm not going to sleep on the rug," said Teddy, "I hate the rug."

  We compromised, putting him to bed on the couch in Archie's bedroom. Itseemed unlikely that he would fall off, since he was asleep before wehad the whole of him laid down. While we were together in the bedroom,I said a private word to Archie.

  "If you'll hearken to the wisdom of the wise, old man, you'll cut it.You're not in the vein."

  He chose to misunderstand my meaning.

  "Do you mean I'm drunk?"

  "I think I am--at least too drunk for poker; and too sleepy, also. Ifyou'll allow me, I'll get home."

  Archie looked at me in the way I knew, all his Scotch temper in hiseyes.

  "Are you afraid, or broke? Or what the devil's up?"

  Pendarvon called from the next room.

  "Are you fellows having a little game by yourselves?"

  I jerked my thumb towards Pendarvon as Archie and I went in together.

  "That's just what is up--the devil."

  We four went at it again. I reckoned that at that time Archie had lostabout two thousand pounds--nearly the whole of it to Pendarvon inIOU's. His heavier losses all came afterwards. Silvester also lost. Hemade a very nasty loser. He allowed things to escape his tongue which,under other circumstances, might have brought the sitting to a promptand a turbulent close. Pendarvon, to whose address Silvester's littleobservations were principally directed, seemed to take it for grantedthat the fact of his being three-parts drunk covered a multitude ofsins. For my part, on the whole I won. By degrees, as Silvester'ssulkiness increased, the game resolved itself into a sort of triangularduel. Archie went for Pendarvon, and Pendarvon went for me. As hefound, for the most part, that his assaults were unavailing, and thatmy mood was beatific, Pendarvon began to follow Silvester's lead andlose his temper. Not, however, on Silvester's lines. The more enragedhe grew, the more he laughed. I knew the gentleman so well.

  Archie began to play like a lunatic. Once Silvester declined to comein. I had four knaves; it was the second four hand I had had within avery few minutes. Of course, I started to back it for all I was worth.What Archie and Pendarvon had was more than I could guess; I did notmuch care. I felt that, whatever they had, I was about their match. Ihad taken one card, wishing them to suppose that I had drawn to twopairs. Archie had had two. I took it that he had started with atriplet. Pendarvon had had three; apparently he had opened with a pair.It seemed from the betting that they had both improved their hands, forneither seemed disposed to tire. The pool crept up to a thousand. ThenArchie found fault with the rate of progression.

  "Confound this limit! It's child's play; we shall be at it all night.Will either of you see me for L500?"

  Pendarvon hesitated, or appeared to.

  "Having fixed a limit, isn't it rather against the rules to traveloutside? But, so far as I am personally concerned, I don't mind seeingyour five hundred, and raising you another five. What do you say,Townsend?"

  "I object. At this point of the game to change the points in such afashion would simply be to plunder you. I hold the winning hand."

  Archie became excited, and not quite civil.

  "That's rot. I say ditto to Pendarvon, Reggie. Will you pay a thousandto see our hands?"

  "I will do this. I will agree to each man tabling a thousand, andshowing his hand."

  "Done!" Archie scribbled an IOU. "Now, Pen, down with your thousand."

  Pendarvon counted out a heap of Archie's IOU's, laughing as he did so.

  "I hope that's good enough."

  I drew a cheque on a sheet of paper.

  "Now, Archie, if you please, let us see your hand."

  He faced his cards.

  "A straight flush!" he cried.

  For a moment he took my breath away. That he could have drawn two cardsfor a straight flush had not entered into my philosophy. My nextfeeling was that the thing looked ugly. For a man with a straight flushin his hand to propose to increase the stakes was--well, not the thing.While words were coming near my lips, Pendarvon leaned towards him.

  "Where is your straight flush? Show it us?" Then, with a laugh, "That'snot a straight flush."

  Archie stared at his cards.

  "What do you mean?" Then, with a shout, "I'm damned if it is!"

  As he recognised the fact, he seemed to me to turn quite green, and heswore. In his haste, giving only a single glance at his cards, he hadlet himself in. It was all but a straight flush--a case of the misswhich is as good as a mile. His hand was four, five, seven, eight, andnine of hearts. It was a flush, but not a straight flush--he hadoverlooked the absence of the six. The curious part of the thing wasthat he should have drawn to such a hand.

  Pendarvon faced his cards.

  "I fancy, Archie, that I am better than you."

  He was. He had a full. Three aces and a pair of kings. No wonder he hadbeen willing to back his luck. I don't know what his feelings were whenhe found that I could show still more.

  "Fours. I think that takes it."

  It did.

  As I scooped the plunder, Silvester rose.

  "Show four whenever you like--eh, Townsend?"

  His tone was disagreeable, and meant to be.

  "I wish I could."

  "I should say that your wish was gratified. It occurs to me that thisis distinctly a game at which the soberest wins."

  We looked at him. He looked back at us. He was evidentl
y in a state ofmind in which he was disposed to pick a quarrel with us, eitherseparately or altogether. The thing to do was not to gratify his whim.He treated Archie to a peculiarly impertinent stare. "That was an oddmistake of yours. I'm drunk, but I'm not drunk enough for that, and Inever could be." He gave Pendarvon a turn--"You didn't choose yourcards badly. But it's only a question of courage. Take my tip, nexttime you make it fours." He lurched away from the table. "I'm off.You're welcome to what you've got--cut it up between you."

  He staggered from the room. Archie rose, intending, as host, to see himoff the premises. Pendarvon caught him by the arm.

  "Let the beggar see himself out. If we have luck he may break his neckas he goes downstairs. He's made a bid for it." It seemed that he had.We could hear him stumble down two or three steps at a time. Welistened. There was the sound of another stumble. Pendarvon laughed."Bid number two."

  Directly afterwards we heard him fidgeting with the handle of the frontdoor. Archie grew restless.

  "He'll raise the dead if he goes on like that much longer. Let me godown, and let him out."

  We heard the door open, and immediately afterwards shut with a bang.

  "He's let himself out. I fancy a little more rapidly than he intended.I'll bet an even pony that he's gone face foremost into the street.Let's hope it." Pendarvon picked up a pack of cards. "It's my deal.What are we going to do?"

  Getting up, Archie helped himself to another soda and whiskey.

  "Who'll have some?" We both of us did. "Let's play unlimited. I'm sickof this." Pendarvon raised his glass.

  "Here's to you, Archie; you're a gambler."

  "I thank the stars I am. Have you any objection, Reggie?"

  I shrugged my shoulders, perceiving that remonstrance would be thrownaway.

  "I'm at your service."

  "Then we'll play unlimited."

  And we did.

  It was a warmish little game. There is something about unlimited pokerwhich appeals to one. The spirit of the gamble gets into one's veinslike the breath of the battle into the nostrils of the soldier. Onefeels that it is a game for men, and that the manhood which is in onehas a chance to score. Archie evidently meant going for the gloves. Henever bet less than a hundred, and a thousand--in pencil on a scrap ofpaper--was as nothing to him. If we wanted to be in that game we toohad to treat thousands as if they had been sovereigns. At the beginningthe luck went round to him--possibly because it took some little timeto make his methods ours. He bluffed outrageously. With a pair one wasnot disposed, at the commencement, to pay a thousand to see his cards.The result was that he scooped pool after pool. When he had made itplain that, if we wanted him to show, we should have to pay, we beganto pay.

  And luck began!

  The ante was fixed at a tenner. I was ante. The other two had come in.Making good, I drew three to a pair of sevens, without improving myhand. Pendarvon opened with a hundred, Archie promptly making it five.I had not had a sight--I had had no cards--for the last five hands.This time, the devil entering into me, I made up my mind that I wouldfind out what sort of game Archie was playing, and have a view if itbroke me. I saw his five hundred. Pendarvon saw it too. Then Archieturned up a pair of knaves. I yielded without showing, and to mysurprise, Pendarvon did as I had done. A pair of knaves seemed hardlyworth fifteen hundred pounds. It looked like easy earning.

  The same thing went on time after time. Archie could not be induced tosee a man while he could keep on raising. The very next hand, when wehad both come in, Archie started with a five hundred bet. So Pendarvonand I let him have the entries. And we had a twenty pound pot.

  We had gone right round and come back again to pairs, when Pendarvonannounced that he could open. He made it a hundred to enter. Archie andI went in--though, so far as I was concerned, I had an empty hand.Pendarvon took two, Archie stood pat, and I drew five, finding myselfin possession of a pair of aces. Pendarvon started with five hundredpounds; we seemed to be getting incapable of thinking of anythingunder. Archie raised him nine thousand five hundred pounds, tabling hisIOU for a round ten thousand. I retired; a pair of aces was not quitegood enough for that. If I was to be broken, I might just as well bebroken for something better. Pendarvon looked at Archie as if he wouldhave liked to have seen right into him.

  "Have you the Bank of England at your back?"

  "What are you going to raise me?" inquired Archie.

  "Nothing. I go. The courage is yours. I opened with a pair of jacks."

  Pendarvon showed them. I doubt if he had anything more. I doubt ifArchie had as much. But, still, ten thousand. The average man is notinclined to go as far as that upon a pair of jacks. I could see thatPendarvon felt that he had been bluffed. It put his back up. He meantto be even with Archie--and he was.

  "Let me clearly understand what unlimited poker means. Does it meanthat I'm at liberty to put half a sheet of notepaper on the table andsay I raise a million?"

  Archie fired up at the innuendo Pendarvon's words seemed to convey.

  "What do you mean by half a sheet of notepaper? Do you suggest that myIOU is nothing but half a sheet of notepaper?"

  "Not a bit of it. Why should I? My dear Archie, don't get warm. Only weare none of us millionaires. I know I'm not. Ten thousand pounds is aconsiderable sum to me. We, all of us, are playing on the nod. Beforeyou go any further suppose we name a date by which all paper must beredeemed."

  "I'm willing."

  "Suppose we say that it must be redeemed within a week?"

  "I'm willing again."

  I also acquiesced. I saw the force of what he said, and I saw the pullwhich it would give him over Archie. Where Archie was likely to findsuch a sum as ten thousand pounds within a week was more than I knew,and, unless I greatly erred, more than he knew either. Pendarvon is aman of substance. His stannary dues alone are supposed to averagethirty or forty thousand pounds a year, and if it came to a question ofready-money not improbably he could buy up Archie lock, stock, andbarrel, and scarcely feel that he had made a purchase.

  Archie must have been possessed by the very spirit of mischief. Heentirely refused to be out-crowed on his own dunghill--even though heknew his rival to be the larger and the stronger bird. Almostimmediately afterwards Pendarvon started the betting with a thousandpounds. Archie retorted by raising him fourteen thousand, laying on thetable his IOU for fifteen thousand pounds. I went. I had two pairs, butthe atmosphere promised to grow too hot for me. Pendarvon laughed.

  "I'll see your raise."

  He placed his own IOU on Archie's.

  "Three kings."

  Archie faced them. Pendarvon laughed again. He threw his cards away.

  "Too good!"

  He had supposed that Archie was bluffing--and had paid for hissupposition.

  The game fluctuated. Pendarvon had Archie once or twice upon the hip,paring down his winnings. At last we came to what proved to be thelast, and hardest-fought-for pool of the sitting. It was a pot. We hadgone right through the hands. In the second round Archie opened when itcame to two pairs or better. He made it a hundred to go in. I went in,though I had only queens. I kept the pair and an ace, and took two--twomore queens. Pendarvon and Archie both stood pat. I perceived that thescent of a big battle was coming into the air--when I saw my fourqueens, and made sure that they were four queens, it did me good tosmell it coming.

  Archie began, for him, very modestly--with a five hundred bet. I turnedit into a thousand, which Pendarvon doubled. Then we went at it, hammerand tongs. As I raised Archie, and Pendarvon every time raised me, itmade it impossible for Archie to even the bets, and force a display. Atlast it grew too hot even for him. I reckoned that I had thirtythousand in the pool. Pendarvon had made it another four thousand forArchie to come in. Although he was beginning to look as if he was notaltogether enjoying himself, in he came. I raised him. Pendarvon raisedme. The betting went on. I had IOU's for sixty thousand in the pool.The fates alone knew where the cash was to come from if I lost--unlessit came from Sir Haselton Jardine
, against which possibility the oddsseemed pretty strong. Pendarvon raised me five thousand more. Archierealised at last that he could not see us unless we chose to lethim--and that we did not mean to let him. He threw down his cards witha curse--it being a bad habit of his to use strong language when, if heonly knew it, milder words would serve him at least equally well. Onecan damn so effectively with a softly-uttered blessing.

  When Archie went I saw Pendarvon.

  "Fours," he said.

  I felt a shudder go all down my back.

  "Four what?"

  "Tens."

  "Queens."

  As I faced them, in its holy of holies my heart sang a loud Te Deum.Pendarvon stood up, still laughing.

  "That's enough for me."

  When I heard the peculiar something that was ringing in his laughter,knowing the man as I did, I knew that Mr. Pendarvon would watch for meand wait. His turn would come.

  "I'm hanged!" cried Archie, "if I haven't thrown my money clean away!"

  He certainly had--that is, if his IOU's represented money, which hisbest friend might be excused for doubting.