Roxana

  I was very sorry, that I did not stop a little, in the middle of my Discourse, and make her drink a Glass of Wine, before it had put her Spirits281 into such a violent Motion; but it was too late, and it was ten to one odds, but that it had kill’d her.

  But she came to herself at last, and began to say some very good things in return for my Kindness; I would not let her go on, but told her, I had more to say to her still, than all this, but that I would let it alone till another time; my meaning was, about the Box of Plate, [a] good part of which I gave her, and some I gave to Amy, for I had so much Plate, and some so large, that I thought if I let my Husband see it, he might be apt to wonder what Occasion I cou’d ever have for so much, and for Plate of such a kind too; as particularly, a great Cistern282 for Bottles, which cost a hundred and twenty Pound, and some large Candlesticks, too big, for any ordinary Use: These I caus’d Amy to sell; in short, Amy sold above three hundred Pound’s-worth of Plate; what I gave the QUAKER, was worth above sixty Pounds, and I gave Amy above thirty Pound’s-worth, and yet I had a great-deal left for my Husband.

  Nor did our Kindness to the QUAKER end with the forty Pound a Year, for we were always, while we stay’d with her, which was above ten Months, giving her one good thing or another; and, in a word, instead of Lodging with her, she Boarded with us, for I kept the House, and she and all her Family eat and drank with us, and yet we paid her the Rent of the House too; in short, I remember’d my Widowhood, and I made this Widow’s Heart glad many a Day the more, upon that Account.

  And now my Spouse and I began to think of going over to Holland, where I had propos’d to him to live, and in order to settle all the Preliminaries of our future Manner of Living, I began to draw in my Effects, so as to have them all at Command, upon whatever Occasion we thought fit; after which, one Morning I call’d my Spouse up to me, hark ye, Sir, said I to him, I have two very weighty Questions to ask of you; I don’t know what Answer you will give to the first, but I doubt283 you will be able to give but a sorry Answer to the other, and yet, I assure you, it is of the last Importance to yourself, and towards the future Part of your Life, wherever it is to be.

  He did not seem to be much alarm’d, because he could see I was speaking in a kind of merry way, Let’s hear your Questions, my Dear, says he, and I’ll give the best Answer I can to them: Why first, says I,

  1. You have marry’d a Wife here, made her a Lady, and put her in Expectation of being something else still, when she comes Abroad; pray have you examin’d whether you are able to supply all her extravagant Demands when she comes Abroad; and maintain an expensive Englishwoman in all her Pride, and Vanity? In short, have you enquir’d whether you are able to keep her?

  2. You have marry’d a Wife here, and given her a great many fine things, and you maintain her like a Princess, and sometimes call her so; pray what Portion have you had with her? what Fortune has she been to you? and where does her Estate lie, that you keep her so fine? I am afraid you keep her in a Figure a great-deal above her Estate, at least, above all that you have seen of it yet? are you sure you ha’n’t got a Bite?284 and that you have not made a Beggar a Lady?

  Well, says he, have you any more Questions to ask? let’s have them all together, perhaps they may be all answer’d in a few Words, as well as these two: No, says I, these are the two grand Questions, at least, for the present: Why, then, says he, I’ll answer you in a few Words, That I am fully Master of my own Circumstances, and without farther Enquiry, can let my Wife you speak of, know, that as I have made her a Lady, I can maintain her as a Lady, wherever she goes with me; and this, whether I have one Pistole of her Portion, or whether she has any Portion or no: And as I have not enquir’d whether she has any Portion or not, so she shall not have the less Respect shew’d her from me, or be oblig’d to live meaner, or be any-ways straiten’d on that Account; on the contrary, if she goes Abroad to live with me in my own Country, I will make her more than a Lady and support the Expence of it too, without meddling with any-thing she has; and this I suppose, says he, contains an Answer to both your Questions together.

  He spoke this with a great deal more Earnestness in his Countenance, than I had when I propos’d my Questions; and said a great-many kind things upon it, as the Consequence of former Discourses, so that I was oblig’d to be in earnest too; My Dear, says I, I was but in jest in my Questions; but they were propos’d to introduce what I am going to say to you in earnest; namely, that if I am to go Abroad, ’tis time I shou’d let you know how things stand, and what I have to bring you, with your Wife; how it is to be dispos’d, and secur’d, and the like; and therefore come, says I, sit down, and let me show you your Bargain here; I hope you will find, that you have not got a Wife without a Fortune.

  He told me then, that since he found I was in earnest, he desir’d that I wou’d adjourn it till to-Morrow, and then we wou’d do as the poor People do after they Marry, feel in their Pockets, and see how much Money they can bring together in the World; well, says I, with all my Heart; and so we ended our Talk for that time.

  As this was in the Morning, my Spouse went out after Dinner to his Goldsmith’s,285 as he said, and about three Hours after, returns with a Porter and two large Boxes, with him; and his Servant brought another Box, which I observ’d was almost as heavy as the two that the Porter brought, and made the poor Fellow sweat heartily; he dismiss’d the Porter, and in a little-while after went out again with his Man, and returning at Night, brought another Porter with more Boxes and Bundles, and all was carried up, and put into a Chamber, next to our Bed-Chamber, and in the Morning he call’d for a pretty large round Table, and began to unpack.

  When the Boxes were open’d, I found they were chiefly full of Books, and Papers, and Parchments, I mean, Books of Accompts, and Writings, and such things, as were in themselves of no Moment to me, because I understood them not; but I perceiv’d he took them all out, and spread them about him, upon the Table, and Chairs, and began to be very busie with them; so I withdrew, and left him; and he was indeed, so busie among them, that he never miss’d me, till I had been gone a good-while; but when he had gone thro’ all his Papers, and come to open a little Box, he call’d for me again; Now, says he, and call’d me his Countess, I am ready to answer your first Question; if you will sit down till I have open’d this Box, we will see how it stands.

  So we open’d the Box; there was in it indeed, what I did not expect, for I thought he had sunk his Estate, rather than rais’d it; but he produc’d me in Goldsmith’s Bills,286 and Stock in the English East-India Company,287 about sixteen thousand Pounds Sterling; then he gave into my Hands, nine Assignments288 upon the Bank of Lyons in France, and two upon the Rents of the Town-House in Paris, amounting in the whole to 5800 Crowns289 per Annum, or annual Rent, as’tis call’d there and lastly, the Sum of 30000 Rixdollars290 in the Bank of Amsterdam; besides some Jewels and Gold in the Box, to the Value of about 15 or 1600 l. among which was a very good Necklace of Pearl, of about 200 l. Value; and that he pull’d out, and ty’d about my Neck; telling me, That shou’d not be reckon’d into the Account.

  I was equally pleas’d and surpriz’d; and it was with an inexpressible Joy, that I saw him so rich: You might well tell me, said I, that you were able to make me Countess, and maintain me as such: In short, he was immensly rich; for besides all this, he shew’d me, which was the Reason of his being so busie among the Books, I say, he shew’d me several Adventures he had Abroad, in the Business of his Merchandize; as particularly, an eighth Share in an East-India Ship then Abroad; an Account-Courant291 with a Merchant, at Cadiz in Spain; about 3000 l. lent upon Bottomree?292 upon Ships gone to the Indies; and a large Cargo of Goods in a Merchant’s Hands, for Sale, at Lisbon in Portugal; so that in his Books there was about 12000 l. more; all which put together, made about 27000 l. Sterling, and 1320 l. a Year.

  I stood amaz’d at this Account, as well I might, and said nothing to him for a good-while, and the rather, because I saw him still busie, looking over his Books: After a
-while, as I was going to express my Wonder; Hold, my Dear, says he, this is not all neither; then he pull’d me out some old Seals, and small Parchment-Rolls, which I did not understand; but he told me, they were a Right of Reversion293 which he had to a Paternal Estate in his Family, and a Mortgage of 14000 Rixdollars, which he had upon it, in the Hands of the present Possessor; so that was about 3000 l. more.

  But now hold again, says he, for I must pay my Debts out of all this, and they are very great, I assure you; and the first, he said, was a black Article of 8000 Pistoles, which he had a Law-Suit about, at Paris, but had it awarded against him, which was the Loss he had told me of, and which made him leave Paris in Disgust; that in other Accounts he ow’d about 5300 l. Sterling; but after all this, upon the whole, he had still 17000 I. clear Stock in Money, and 1320 l. a-Year in Rent.

  After some Pause, it came to my Turn to speak; Well, says I, ’tis very hard a Gentleman with such a Fortune as this, shou’d come over to England, and marry a Wife with Nothing; it shall never, says I, be said, but what I have, I’ll bring into the Publick Stock; so I began to produce.

  First, I pull’d out the Mortgage which good Sir Robert had procur’d for me, the annual Rent 700 l. per Annum; the principal Money 14000 l.

  Secondly, I pull’d out another Mortgage upon Land, procur’d by the same faithful Friend, which at three times, had advanc’d 12000 l.

  Thirdly, I pull’d him out a Parcel of little Securities, procur’d by several Hands, by Fee-Farm Rents,294 and such Petty Mortgages as those Times afforded, amounting to 10800 l. principal Money, and paying six hundred and thirty six Pounds a-Year; so that in the whole, there was two thousand fifty six Pounds a-Year, Ready-Money, constantly coming in.

  When I had shewn him all these, I laid them upon the Table, and bade him take them, that he might be able to give me an Answer to the second Question, viz. What Fortune he had with his Wife? and laugh’d a little at it.

  He look’d at them a-while, and then handed them all back again to me; I will not touch them, says he, nor one of them, till they are all settl’d in Trustees Hands, for your own Use, and the Management wholly your own.

  I cannot omit what happen’d to me while all this was acting, tho’ it was chearful Work in the main, yet I trembled every Joint of me, worse for ought I know, than ever Belshazzjer did at the Hand-writing on the Wall,295 and the Occasion was every way as just: Unhappy Wretch, said I to myself, shall my ill-got Wealth, the Product of prosperous Lust, and of a vile and vicious Life of Whoredom and Adultery, be intermingled with the honest well-gotten Estate of this innocent Gentleman, to be a Moth and a Catterpiller among it,296 and bring the Judgments of Heaven upon him, and upon what he has, for my sake! Shall my Wickedness blast his Comforts! Shall I be Fire in his Flax!297 and be a Means to provoke Heaven to curse his Blessings! God forbid! I’ll keep them asunder, if it be possible.

  This is the true Reason why I have been so particular in the Account of my vast acquir’d Stock; and how his Estate, which was perhaps, the Product of many Years fortunate Industry; and which was equal, if not superior, to mine, at best, was at my Request, kept apart from mine, as is mention’d above.

  I have told you how he gave back all my Writings into my own Hands again: Well, says I, seeing you will have it be kept apart, it shall be so, upon one Condition, which I have to propose, and no other; and what is the Conditon, says he? why, says I, all the Pretence298 I can have for the making-over my own Estate to me, is, that in Case of your Mortallity, I may have it reserv’d for me, if I outlive you; well, says he, that is true: But then, said I, the Annual Income is always receiv’d by the Husband, during his Life, as ’tis suppos’d for the mutual Subsistance of the Family; now, says I, here is 2000 l. a Year, which I believe is as much as we shall spend, and I desire none of it may be sav’d; and all the Income of your own Estate, the Interest of the 17000 l. and the 1320 l. a Year may be constantly laid by for the Encrease of your Estate, and so, added I, by joining the Interest every Year to the Capital, you will perhaps grow as rich as you would do, if you were to Trade with it all, if you were oblig’d to keep House out of it too.

  He lik’d the Proposal very well, and said it should be so; and this way I, in some Measure, satisfied myself, that I should not bring my Husband under the Blast of a just Providence, for mingling my cursed ill-gotten Wealth with his honest Estate: This was occasion’d by the Reflections which at some certain Intervals of time, came into my Thoughts, of the Justice of Heaven, which I had reason to expect would sometime or other still fall upon me or my Effects, for the dreadful Life I had liv’d.

  And let no-body conclude from the strange Success I met with in all my wicked Doings, and the vast Estate which I had rais’d by it, that therefore I either was happy or easie: No, no, there was a Dart struck into the Liver;299 there was a secret Hell within, even all the while, when our Joy was at the highest; but more especially now, after it was all over, and when according to all appearance, I was one of the happiest Women upon Earth; all this while, I say, I had such a constant Terror upon my Mind, as gave me every now and then very terrible Shocks, and which made me expect something very frightful upon every Accident of Life.

  In a word, it never Lightn’d or Thunder’d, but I expected the next Flash wou’d penetrate my Vitals, and melt the Sword [Soul] in this Scabbord of Flesh; it never blew a Storm of Wind, but I expected the Fall of some Stack of Chimneys, or some Part of the House wou’d bury me in its Ruins; and so of other things.

  But I shall perhaps, have Occasion to speak of all these things again by-and-by; the Case before us was in a manner settl’d; we had full four thousand Pounds per Annum for our future Subsistence, besides a vast Sum in Jewels and Plate; and besides this, I had about eight thousand Pounds reserv’d in Money, which I kept back from him, to provide for my two Daughters; of whom I have yet much to say.

  With this Estate, settl’d as you have heard, and with the best Husband in the World, I left England again; I had not only in humane Prudence, and by the Nature of the thing, being now marry’d and settl’d in so glorious a Manner, I say, I had not only abandon’d all the gay300 and wicked Course which I had gone thorow before, but I began to look back upon it with that Horror, and that Detestation, which is the certain Companion, if not the Forerunner, of Repentance.

  Sometimes the Wonders of my present Circumstances wou’d work upon me, and I shou’d have some Raptures upon my Soul, upon the Subject of my coming so smoothly out of the Arms of Hell, that I was not ingulph’d in Ruin, as most who lead such Lives are, first or last; but this was a Flight too high for me; I was not come to that Repentance that is rais’d from a Sence of Heaven’s Goodness; I repented of the Crime, but it was of another and lower kind of Repentance, and rather mov’d by my Fears of Vengeance, than from a Sense of being spar’d from being punish’d, and landed safe after a Storm.

  The first thing which happen’d after our coming to the Hague, (where we lodg’d for a-while) was, that my Spouse saluted me one Morning with the Title of Countess; as he said he intended to do, by having the Inheritance to which the Honour was annex’d, made over to him; it is true, it was a Reversion,301 but it soon fell,302 and in the mean time, as all the Brothers of a Count are call’d Counts,303 so I had the Title by Courtesie,304 about three Years before I had it in reality.

  I was agreeably surpriz’d at this coming so soon, and wou’d have had my Spouse have taken the Money which it cost him, out of my Stock, but he laugh’d at me, and went on.

  I was now in the height of my Glory and Prosperity, and I was call’d the Countess de —; for I had obtain’d that unlook’d for, which I secretly aim’d at, and was really the main Reason of my coming Abroad: I took now more Servants; liv’d in a kind of Magnificence that I had not been acquainted with; was call’d Your Honour at every word, and had a Coronet behind my Coach; tho’ at the same time I knew little or nothing of my new Pedigree.

  The first thing that my Spouse took upon him to manage, was to declare ourselves marry?
??d eleven Years before our arriving in Holland; and consequently to acknowledge our little Son, who was yet in England, to be legitimate; order him to be brought over, and added to his Family, and acknowledge him to be our own.

  This was done by giving Notice to his People at Nimeguen, where his Children (which were two Sons and a Daughter) were brought-up; that he was come over from England; and that he was arriv’d at the Hague, with his Wife, and shou’d reside there some time; and that he wou’d have his two Sons brought down to see him, which accordingly was done, and where I entertain’d them with all the Kindness and Tenderness that they cou’d expect from their Mother-in-Law; and who pretended to be so ever since they were two or three Years old.

  This, supposing us to have been so long marry’d, was not difficult at-all, in a Country where we had been seen together about that time, viz. eleven Years and a half before; and where we had never been seen afterwards, till we now return’d together; this being seen together, was also openly own’d, and acknowledg’d of course, by our Friend, the Merchant at Rotterdam; and also by the People in the House where we both lodg’d, in the same City, and where our first Intimacies began, and who, as it happen’d, were all alive; and therefore to make it the more publick, we made a Tour to Rotterdam again, lodg’d in the same House, and was visited there by our Friend, the Merchant; and afterwards invited frequently to his House, where he treated us very handsomely.

  This Conduct of my Spouse, and which he manag’d very cleverly, was indeed, a Testimony of a wonderful Degree of Honesty and Affection to our little Son; for it was done purely for the sake of the Child.

  I call it an honest Affection, because it was from a Principle of Honesty that he so earnestly concern’d himself, to prevent the Scandal which wou’d otherwise have fallen upon the Child, who was itself innocent; and as it was from this Principle of Justice that he so earnestly sollicited me, and conjur’d305 me by the natural Affections of a Mother, to marry him, when it was yet young within me, and unborn, that the Child might not suffer for the Sin of its Father and Mother; so tho’ at the same time, he really lov’d me very well, yet I had reason to believe, that it was from this Principle of Justice to the Child, that he came to England again to seek me, with design to marry me, and, as he call’d it, save the innocent Lamb from an Infamy worse than Death.