The Devil's Match

  “Shit,” Frost sucks in a breath.

  I drop down to her level. “Hey, sweetie.” I pick her up, just as Millie is running into the foyer.

  “Holy shit,” Millie gasps, out of breath. “She has a sprint on her.”

  I giggle. “Yeah, she does.”

  “Hey,” Millie says, and then yanks her thumb over her shoulder. “I’ll go make some drinks. I think we may need them.”

  “Good idea.” I nod my head. Honestly, I could do with a drink right now.

  “Hey, puffin, so Mommy wants you to meet someone…” I say, running my nose over her soft skin. I close my eyes and inhale before opening them onto her. Her eyes haven’t left Frost, and his hasn’t left her. The look in his eye toward Pax has my chest exploding. If I thought seeing Chase with her was intense, it has nothing on this.

  “This is your daddy,” I whisper into her ear, a single tear trickling out from one of my eyes. Happy tears. Nothing has ever felt so right than what’s happening right now, and for the first time ever, I hate myself for keeping them apart for those two years.

  “Hey, baby,” Frost mutters, his jaw clenching. He’s fighting the emotion and I understand that, but feeling is still an emotion, and seeing Frost feeling this for his daughter, having her being the one who finally broke down the hard wall that he had kept in front of him, having her being the one who proved to Frost that he can in fact love, to hell with his illness, is the kind of love that will change the world and stop wars. My knees shake and my lip trembles. With an overwhelming sense of emotions, I almost drop to the ground.

  “Dada?” Pax points straight at Frost with her slobbery finger that was just in her mouth.

  “Yeah, baby.” He takes her from me and cradles her in his arm. She looks miniscule in his arms, all though that’s not entirely hard. He jiggles her softly and then carries her into the living room.

  I remain there, trying to collect myself. Deep breathing. In, and out.

  “One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi,” I whisper to myself. Only this time when I’m chanting those words to myself, it’s not to calm the rage, but to caress the overwhelming feeling of love. Finally, not being able to take it anymore from everything that has happened. I feel my emotions snap from the revelations, everything in general that has happened in the past twenty-four hours, and I drop to the ground, sobs wracking through my body uncontrollably. It’s official. I regret taking away those moments from him. I had everything documented in videos. From my labor, to the birth, to her first steps, her first words, the first time she ate solid food, to mundane things like us cuddling in bed, taking a bubble bath together and then to her listening to Metallica for the first time. Her first two birthdays were also recorded. Anything and everything that was a milestone was recorded, but I still felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for robbing that from Frost.

  “Honey,” Millie comes in, breaking through my panic. I clutch my chest, still on my knees in the foyer. “It’s okay, Ella.”

  She’s carrying a couple of drinks. “Don’t make me come down there, I’m a fat whale with cankles right now and I might not be able to stand up again. I will literally get stuck there.”

  I laugh, her words and tone breaking through my dark place. Standing on my feet, I swipe at the tears and take the cup from her. “I feel so awful, Millie.”

  She gestures to the stairs, and we both take a seat at the bottom. Sipping on the vodka, which is straight, damn, Millie. She answers, “I know. I get that, but you did what you thought was right. That doesn’t make you a bad person, El.”

  “No.” I shake my head with a sarcastic chuckle. “Just my number makes me a bad person,”

  She gives me a confused look, and I slam my mouth closed before bringing the cup back to my mouth. “Nothing.”

  “Listen,” she ignores my slip up, “this is a good thing, okay? Don’t turn it into something bad. Move forward now.”

  “You’re right,” I nod my head. “Still feels shitty.”

  “And it will, for a long time, I’m guessing. But we all love you, El.”

  “Not all,” I correct with a sad smile. “But the people who I need to love me do.”

  “No,” Millie shakes her head and goes to stand. She fails, and then it takes her a few more tries to stand again—with my help—but she gets there in the end. “He loves you too, El. That kind of love, the kind you both have, doesn’t die. It doesn’t even fade. It remains and intensifies, but never dies.” Then she walks into the kitchen, and I stay there, rooted to my spot. Frost and I never got to the love phase that she’s going on about. But I bet Taylor has. Hell, she’s been with him longer than him and I were even messing around for. She trumps me when it comes to him, and with that thought, I know I have to let him go.

  “You all right?” Frost asks, just as I’m about to stand.

  I smile, tilting my cup. “Vodka.”

  He looks at my cup and then kisses Pax’s head, who has buried herself into his neck. “Can I put her to bed? Then I’ve gotta go home. Got some shit to sort with Taylor.”

  “You mean tell her about Pax?”

  He nods. “Yeah.”

  “Sure,” I answer, moving over for him to pass. I stand up and kiss her forehead. “Mama be up in a few minutes.” I search her eyes as she yawns and nods, before realizing how close I am to Frost. I can practically feel his breathing caressing my cheek. My heart begins thundering in my chest, and I gaze up at him—bad move—because he’s already watching me, his eyes searching mine, his chest against mine. Thunder claps through the air outside, breaking our moment and I jolt backward a little.

  “Ah, I’ll be up in a second. She’ll be in my bed for tonight. Same room.”

  He leaves, going up the stairs, and I clutch my chest, sink the rest of the vodka, and then head into the kitchen, putting the glass in the sink.

  Clutching the edge of the counter, I squeeze my eyes closed. This is going to be harder than I ever imagined.

  “He’ll come back, devil face.”

  I exhale loudly and turn to face Miles, who is leaning against the threshold of where the lounge meets the kitchen. “I’m not so sure, Miles. But thanks.” I give him a brief but weak smile and then make my way upstairs.

  “Hey,” I whisper, entering my bedroom, feeling a little more stable. I’m in desperate need of a shower, though, and a long sleep. And I could probably eat my way through a full buffet.

  Frost is rubbing her head, and I see she’s about two seconds from dropping off. It’s the first time I haven’t been the last one she sees before going to sleep, but I’m okay with it because these are the things I have to get used to sharing with Frost now. He’s entitled to them as much as I am.

  I go to my bag, pulling out some sweatpants and a tank. “I’m just going to have a shower. I’m sure you can let yourself out when you’re ready.”

  His eyes look to the bathroom and then come back to me. He looks down at her, stands, and presses one more gentle kiss to her forehead before making his way to me. “I should be going anyway. Do you have the same phone?” My eyes dart toward the chest of drawers. “Yeah, I just have to charge it I guess.”

  “I’ll text you.” He stares at me for a beat too long, and then walks out, leaving me breathless, slightly agitated, sexually frustrated, a little on edge, confused, but above all, a little in love.

  Chapter 21

  FROST

  I have a kid. A daughter. From the second I saw her, I knew she was mine. Only thing that resembles Ella are her eyes, everything else is me.

  Two times I’ve been left speechless. Meeting my daughter and seeing Ella for the first time.

  I pull up my driveway, seeing Taylor’s little sports car already parked to the side. I start fighting with what I’m actually going to say to her but come up blank. Walking through the front door, the smell of food hits me first, and then the music is what gets me second.

  “Hey!” She tosses a dishcloth onto the table. “You okay? You seemed
a little blank on the phone?” Then she picks up her wine glass and takes a sip. Truth is, Taylor is fucking sexy as shit. She cooks, cleans, does all the right things. She seems straight but doesn’t give a fuck that I’m as crooked as they come. She tells me she’s from a normal boring ass family and life and has the same boring normal ass job. By normal, I mean she owns a business downtown, even though I haven’t given enough of a fuck to go check it out—or her life in general, because of what I was really doing. Ella and Pax being here has definitely thrown all that shit out the window.

  “Yeah, we need to talk.”

  “Okay.” She pulls her long dark hair into a high ponytail. She’s appealing, and one of those girls you’d see walking down the street and would need to take another three or four glances at again just to be sure that she’s real. That’s how hot she is, but…

  She walks her little body into the living room and sits on the couch. “It’s never a good thing when someone leads with that sentence.”

  Fuck it. “I have a daughter.”

  She freezes. Opens her mouth, and then closes it again.

  “My ex, it’s a long story. Actually, I don’t even know if she’s classified as my ex.”

  “Ella…” Hearing Ella’s name come out of Taylor’s mouth has me angsty as fuck.

  My eyes snap to hers. “How do you know her name?” I’ve never been able to explain how Ella makes me feel. I don’t have the vocab to even muster words that could give her justice, hence the reason why Taylor saying her name, makes me want to go fucking caveman and cradle that fucking name close to my chest. No one should speak of her, and if they do say her name, they better damn well know they’d be walking a fine line between life and death with me, providing they don’t misword their following sentence. Now that she’s the mother of my daughter, too, yeah, that’s raised it to a whole new level. However, I’m still fucking pissed at her for hiding Pax from me for so long. So many years I fucking missed and will never see. Never wanted a kid until I saw my own.

  Her face falls. “I’ve heard through the old ladies at the club.”

  Fucking Melissa and Meadow no doubt. Rubbing that shit in just to be bitches. The only thing scarier than my brothers? Is their women. Taylor isn’t really cut for that life, but she’s been keeping my dick heated and, she’s not bad of a chick which has made all this that much easier. It’s those ones you need to be careful of, though. The crazy ones? Like Ella, Meadow, and Melissa? You don’t need to worry about them. They don’t hide shit. They own their crazy. Girls who seem like ‘okay’ girls, are usually the ones you gotta think twice about. No one is that ok all the time.

  “What’d they tell you?” I ask, leaning back on the sofa and throwing my arms over the top.

  She laughs nervously, picking up her glass and drinking it all in one go. “Only that you guys had a thing and that she’s irreplaceable.”

  They weren’t lying.

  When I don’t answer or correct her, she looks at me, pinning me with her brown eyes. “I see,” she whispers. “So, it’s true?”

  “Listen,” I brush her off, leaning on my elbows. “If this is too much for you to handle, I’d get it that you’d need to walk away. Hell, I know for a fact I wouldn’t be able to handle that shit.”

  She swallows, and I sit there waiting for her to answer. Hoping she bitches out because it would cause a whole lot less stress on me if she does.

  “No.” She shakes her head, stands, and walks into the kitchen, taking the pot off the stove. She places her hands on the counter, seems to take a few breaths with closed eyes, and then opens them to me over her shoulder. “I won’t run from this, from you. I’ll be fine. I can handle this.”

  “You sure?” I ask, searching both of her eyes, and then her mouth.

  She nods. “Yes, Frost. I can handle this.” She walks toward me and straddles my lap, grinding herself on top of me. “Promise I can.”

  My hands come to her hips, but it ain’t hers I’m thinking about.

  Ella fucking McKenna.

  Later that night, I’m tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. The full moon is glistening into my bedroom, shining brightly onto Taylor whose naked body is wrapped up in the sheet beside me. I bring my fingers to the bridge of my nose and squeeze. Fuck. I’m here, but I want to be with my daughter. My fucking loyalty to my brothers. My phone vibrates on the bedside table and I blindly reach for it, swiping it unlocked.

  “What do you want?”

  “Frost?”

  I shoot off the bed. “Is Pax all right?”

  Ella quickly cuts in. “Yeah, sorry, she’s okay. She’s asleep and hasn’t moved since you left.”

  I relax, laying back down on the bed. “Whassup?”

  “I can’t sleep.”

  I pause and gape out the window again, the raindrops pelting against the glass brings realization in. “The storm.”

  “Yeah,” she murmurs, then it’s silent again. “Frost?”

  “What, Ella?”

  “Are we going to be ok?”

  I exhale, swinging my legs off the bed and resting my elbow on my knee. I whisper out hoarsely, “We will always be ok, baby.”

  I hear her sharp intake of breath.

  “Fuck it, I can’t sleep.” Then I hang up, stand, and walk to my closet. I throw on some jeans, a shirt, and a hoodie, then shrug on my patch. I flip on a cap and grab my keys, I take one last look at Taylor, and then without thinking twice about it, I stalk out the doors, get onto my bike, and ride to the Mac Mansion.

  Chapter 22

  ELLA

  I stare down at my phone. Did that motherfucker just hang up on me? Figures though, he’s probably busy with Taylor having makeup sex. I roll over onto my side where Pax still lays sound asleep, one leg out of the blanket and the other tucked inside. I giggle. Frost used to sleep like that too. I brush away the loose strands of her hair and think to myself if anything or anyone was to hurt her. I draw in a breath. I don’t fear for the person who dares hurt my little girl. Paxton McKenna Walters is my daughter, and I am the monster under her bed. My door creaks open and I jolt up slightly.

  “She still asleep?”

  “Frost!” I whisper-yell. “What are you doing here?” I look at the alarm clock that is on my bedside table. “It’s three a.m.!”

  He continues to walk in more, removing his boots and then his shirt. I can see the ripple of muscle from the casting of the hallway light, and my mouth waters. Oh, this is not a good idea.

  “Frost…” I warn.

  “Woman, shut up. I ain’t here to fuck you.”

  He shuts the door and suddenly it’s as dark as the obscurest midnight, with the only lighting coming from the red numbers on the alarm clock.

  The mattress dips, and it’s then I realize he’s on the other side of Pax.

  “I couldn’t sleep. Needed to be near her.”

  Her. Of course. I exhale. He isn’t into me anymore, I get that. I just need reminding every now and then.

  “Okay.” Then he must pick up Pax’s head and place it on his outstretched arm because his hand touches my forehead. He doesn’t move it, though.

  After a few seconds, once he’s relaxed and settled, he starts…

  “Why’d you call me tonight?” There’s something unnerving and raw about having this conversation with him in the pitch-dark room with nothing but Pax between us.

  “I told you why.”

  “Why me?” he further asks.

  “Because you know I don’t like storms and I don’t know, who else was I supposed to call.”

  “Chase?”

  “Why do you always bring him up?”

  “Because he’s always fucking there.”

  I turn my back to him but forgot that Pax is so short, being two and all, so my ass accidentally presses against his crotch.

  A hiss escapes his mouth and I jolt forward. “Shit, sorry.”

  His hand comes down to my ass, and he squeezes roughly. “You’re fucking lucky she’s in t
his bed with us, woman.”

  I swallow, and suddenly, I really can’t sleep. After about thirty minutes, the frustration and heat from having him in bed, feeling his dick press against my ass and then his hand grabbing me there, all come back to haunt me. I moan in annoyance, flopping to my back in a huff. Maybe I should sneak one out. He won’t know, I bet he’s asleep.

  Now my eyes have adjusted to the darkness a bit better, I can see the profile of his face, his eyes closed. “Don’t even fucking think about it, Ella.”

  I growl again, rolling to my side. “Fine. But since we’re all back on track and I know where I stand with you, which by the way, is on the other side of Pax, literally, then I need to start dating. It’s been way too long.”

  There’s a long pause, and I can feel the air shift. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Actually, no. He can’t say anything.

  “How many since me.”

  I laugh, but it comes out sarcastic. “None, Frost.”

  “Then you ain’t fucking no one.”

  I laugh again. “Yeah, right.”

  “Ella…” he warns.

  “Shut up, Frost. Or you can go home to your woman.”

  “That’s it.” The bed levels, I hear footsteps round the bed and chills break out over my spine. Oh no. Here I was using Pax as a safety net for my smart ass replies. He rips the blanket off me, grabs me by the wrist and yanks me up. “Bathroom, now!”

  “Fine!” I whisper-yell at him, walking to the bathroom and flicking on the dim light.

  He walks in behind me and I turn, about to cuss him out, but he backs me up against the wall, his hand coming to my throat and his lips smashing down onto mine. I fight it, I do, but I fail. The only fight I’ve ever lost was the fight between Frost and me. My arms wrap around his neck, and my legs squeeze him between my thighs.

  He growls into my mouth, then pulls back, one palm pressing against the wall behind me and the other squeezing my ass cheek. “You gonna fix that attitude? Or do I need to fuck it out of you?”