Craving Redemption

I slammed the door behind me, causing most of the occupants to turn in my direction, but I only cared about one person’s attention. His head swung in my direction, and he smiled huge until he saw the scowl on my face.

  If I had been a cartoon, smoke would have come out of my ears as I swung my purse at Farrah. She caught it as if she’d anticipated the move, and watched with a smirk as I stalked across the living room and into the kitchen.

  “You,” I pointed to the girl with Asa. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

  She laughed uncomfortably and glanced up at Asa.

  Oh. No. She. Didn’t.

  “Bitch, you look at me,” I sneered at her, causing her head to whip back around. “He’s not gonna help you.”

  “Calliope—” Asa’s voice was a warning I didn’t heed.

  “Get. Out. Of. My. Apartment,” I told her through gritted teeth. “Unless you want me to rip that pretty hair out of your head when I beat the shit out of you.”

  “I—”

  “You—nothing,” I cut her off, pretending to stutter. “It’s my house and...” I pointed my finger to Asa, “my man. You put your hands on him, you deal with me. Now go.”

  She looked between the two of us, trying to calculate her odds—but when I took another step toward her, she scurried toward the front door, dragging the girl by Michael with her. I watched her go and then pulled my arm from Asa when he tried to pull me to him.

  His face was tight in anger when I glanced up at him, and I scowled until I heard Farrah clapping from the living room.

  “Bravo!” she called, giggling. “I was hoping she’d stay so we could beat her ass. I got your back, sister!” She was drunk and swaying, and I couldn’t keep a smile off my face from her antics. Fucking goofball.

  The room was still quiet, watching Asa and me closely, so I raised my hands in the air and shook my hips from side to side.

  “Nothing to see here, folks!” I called out with a derisive smile. “Drink up and be merry! Happy fucking Birthday to me!”

  I walked back to my room with Asa less than a foot behind me. When I got there, he slammed the door behind us and I spun around in surprise.

  “What? I thought that’s what we’re doing now,” he rumbled, slipping his cut off his shoulders as he stalked me across the room. “Slamming fuckin’ doors and having bitch fits when I haven’t seen you in three goddamn months.”

  “She was all over you!” I sniped back as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  “She wasn’t all over me. The chick came with Michael and you just fuckin’ cock-blocked him.”

  I stood next to the bed, stuttering as he slipped off his boots and socks. He was even bigger than the last time I’d seen him, and apparently he’d had a few of his tattoos touched up, too, because the one on his back was even bigger and creeping up his neck. I soaked him in with my eyes, not coming out of my stupor until he was right in front of me and pulling my work polo over my head.

  “What the hell?” I gasped. “We’ve got like fifteen people in the living room!”

  “I don’t give a shit,” he replied, leaning down to take my mouth in a wet kiss as he unsnapped my bra. “They know what’s good for them, they’ll stay out there… even when they hear you screaming.”

  He undressed me as I tried to squirm away, but I gave a halfhearted attempt at best. It had been too long since I’d felt him, and I couldn’t truthfully make myself care that we had an apartment full of people.

  He tossed me on the bed and I scrambled up and off of it as he undid his belt and pants. I started for the door like I was going to leave, but didn’t make it far before he was lifting me by the waist and tossing me back—his jeans falling farther and farther down his hips as we struggled.

  When he’d finally pinned me down, my hands were captured in one of his above my head, and I was in nothing but my underwear. Somehow he’d even stripped off my shoes and socks. His pants had completely fallen down at that point, and he kicked them off his legs without moving from his position above my body.

  “You miss me, baby?” he rasped, running his nose along my collarbone and neck.

  “I did, until I saw you in my kitchen with that skank,” I sniped back, pulling on my arms.

  “Wasn’t doing anything with her and you know it,” he whispered, biting my lower lip gently. “Why would I want that, when I’ve got this?” he asked with a rock of his hips, the friction causing me to rock into him.

  “Don’t let them touch you,” I whispered back. “I turn into a psycho.”

  “Yeah, Sugar.” he told me with a chuckle, still rocking against me, “It’s hot as fuck, too.”

  He pushed my hands into the mattress as he leaned down to kiss me, pushing his boxers off his hips as he bit and sucked at my lips. I used my toes to help him push them down, grabbing his lip in my teeth as I growled into his mouth. I could still see him laughing with that girl.

  He pinched one of my nipples hard, making me gasp, and as soon as I let go of his lip, his tongue plunged inside my mouth in a quick thrust. His hand had let go of mine, but before I could grab him, he flipped me over to my belly. He leaned back on his knees and jerked my hips up, ripping my underwear down my thighs until they were stretched tight between my knees.

  I didn’t get a word out before he slapped my ass hard, making me screech in response.

  “Shut it,” he hissed at me, slapping my ass again. “You want your little friend running in here?”

  He waited for a response, pausing to put a condom on before rubbing my ass firmly, causing me to gasp into the comforter.

  “No,” I moaned, and he slapped his hand down again.

  “I get here, and first thing you do is cause a scene.” Slap. “You start bitching and treating me like shit for no reason.” Slap. Slap.

  He leaned down over my body, which made my ass throb in response, and whispered in my ear.

  “I love you. Don’t want anyone but you,” he rasped as he slid easily inside me.

  I whimpered as he rocked back and pushed my body toward his. He’d never told me he loved me before, so I hadn’t said it, either. All of a sudden, I was overwhelmed by all of the emotions running thorough me. Love, anger, annoyance, surprise, and lust flooded my brain like a tidal wave and I felt tears rolling down my face as he ground his hips into my sore ass.

  “You gotta stop pushing at me baby,” he whispered, kissing at my neck. “I love you. It’s hot as fuck, but I wanna come home to you and not fight about the goddamn house or your piece of shit car.”

  I tried to focus on his words, but he ran his tongue down my back, making me shiver and lose my train of thought. He felt so good against me—surrounding me—that the throb of my ass was barely noticeable as I pressed my hips harder against him, my nails digging into the comforter beneath us.

  “You have to tell me what’s really going on, Calliope,” he told me, resignation in his voice.

  “No!” I gasped as he pulled out of me completely, but went quiet as he gently turned me over to my back. He rubbed away the tears on my face with his thumbs, and kissed me softly before pushing back inside.

  His eyes met mine as he glided back and forth, and I didn’t look away, even as he picked up speed and our headboard started slamming against the wall.

  “Tell me you love me,” he growled, before leaning down to suck hard on the side of my breast. “Tell me you’re mine.”

  “I love you,” I sobbed back, wrapping my fists in his hair.

  His hips paused, leaving him only halfway inside me before he ordered again, “Tell me you’re mine.”

  “I’m yours. I’m yours!” I pleaded, sliding one hand to his shoulder and digging my nails into his back until he slammed back inside me.

  “That’s right, baby. You’re mine and I’m yours.” He leaned down and kissed me deeply while one of his hands slid between us to pinch and pull at my clit.

  “Okay,” I responded, and then my voice broke as I moaned deep and lon
g as I came.

  “So beautiful,” he rasped as he sped up inside me.

  I lay there in a daze and watched him, the veins in his neck bulging and his thrusts becoming short as he reached his own orgasm.

  He was the beautiful one.

  Chapter 41

  Grease

  If she only knew what I’d been through over the past few months, I think things would’ve been different. Shit was happening in the club that I couldn’t tell her about because I was scared as hell that it would push her right back to where she’d been when I’d met her—scared of her own shadow. So I’d been pissed as hell I couldn’t see her, making the long-ass drive when I could—but it didn’t seem to matter. She’d still seen it as abandonment, growing angrier with me at every visit, and I’d had to just take it because I wasn’t willing to explain it to her.

  She didn’t know that being away from her had been like needles constantly stinging under my skin, and I’d had to work out like crazy so I could actually fall asleep at night.

  I swallowed hard past my tight throat as Callie curled into my chest. For the first time in months, her whole body was relaxed against mine.

  Thank fuck.

  I had my girl back.

  Chapter 42

  Callie

  We barely made it out of the bedroom that night. I didn’t want to move away from him for a second—I was feeling too raw—but eventually we had to make an appearance. It was my birthday party, after all.

  My face flamed in embarrassment as Farrah hooted with glee, but thankfully Echo said something into her ear that made her straighten her shoulders and glare at him, ending her amusement. I wondered what exactly they’d heard. I was strangely unembarrassed about the spanking and more concerned with the fact that they may have heard Asa tell me he loved me for the first time. Out of the entire episode, that was the one thing I fiercely wanted to keep private. Only one person made a comment after that, something about the thumping of the headboard, but the look Asa gave him was enough to make him stop mid-sentence.

  The only people left in the house were Aces and their women, and I was glad that I didn’t have to worry about socializing with a bunch of people I barely knew. I couldn’t make myself leave Asa’s side, and it reminded me of the needy girl I’d been the year before, but I refused to stop. I needed to touch him, and if his arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders was any indication, he was feeling that need, too.

  I watched Farrah and Echo argue quietly for a while before she headed toward me, pulling me away from Asa as she marched into the kitchen. I didn’t have a chance to say a word before she started speaking fast, almost manically.

  “Are you okay? He did not seem happy. I couldn’t believe that chick. What a whore. I can’t believe he was pissed about that. I mean—she was all over his ass. I swear guys are such idiots sometimes—”

  “Whoa! Slow down,” I interrupted her, pulling her in for a hug. “It’s all good. We had some other shit to work out—but it’s all good now.”

  She dropped her head on my shoulder and her arms tightened around my waist.

  “Hey, you okay?” I asked gently, rubbing my hand down the back of her hair.

  “Yeah. I’m sorry.” She tried to pull away, but I held on tight, refusing to let her go.

  “Something’s up,” I whispered in her ear. “You’ve been arguing with Echo since we got out here. What aren’t you telling me?”

  “It’s nothing,” she sniffled, pulling her head back and giving me a bright smile that looked gut-wrenching when paired with the sheen in her eyes. “Stupid drama. You know I don’t have time for that shit.”

  She patted me on the back a few times before pulling away again, and that time I let her. I watched her closely as she walked to the fridge and opened it as if looking for something, but never grabbed anything before swinging it shut again.

  “I think I’m gonna head home,” she told me nonchalantly. “You had a hell of a party, even though you weren’t there to witness it, and I’m tired as hell.”

  She looked tired. She also looked haunted, and I noticed for the first time how dark the circles under her eyes were.

  “I’m sorry for not hanging out more,” I replied, looking around at the drooping balloons and streamers. “You did an awesome job.”

  “No worries, sister. Anything for you.” She walked over and gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek, paired with a fake smile, before heading for the front door.

  She hadn’t been through it for two seconds before Echo was following, looking both pissed and worried.

  It wasn’t long before the others followed them out and we finally had the apartment to ourselves. If I hadn’t come home to an apartment full of people, we would have stayed curled together in bed from the moment I got there. The minute the last person walked out the door that was exactly what we did.

  Asa stripped me as we walked down the hall, and only seconds after I’d climbed into bed, he was climbing in behind me, naked.

  “You have a good party?” he asked me quietly, his hand rubbing lightly over my belly.

  “Yeah…Well, what was left of it,” I sighed back with a smile.

  His breath huffed against my neck and he gave me a squeeze, pulling my back tighter against his body. “I’ve missed you like hell, Calliope.”

  “It’s been a long three months,” I agreed, finding his hand with mine and patting the back of it gently.

  “Been longer than that, sweetheart,” he mumbled, lacing his fingers with mine.

  “Yeah,” I answered, sniffling once as my eyes filled with tears.

  “I want you to move with me, Callie,” he told me seriously, his arm tightening to keep me from bolting. “I want you with me. I wanna see you every day and start a family at some point. It’s not gonna happen if we aren’t in the same place. This shit is fuckin’ with both of us.”

  “Okay,” I whispered back.

  I was startled when he pulled away and pushed me to my back so he could loom over me.

  “What did you say?”

  “Um… okay?” I replied, confused.

  “Is that a question?”

  “No, it’s my answer,” I snapped, exasperated with talking in circles. “You asked me to move with you and I answered yes!”

  His face lit up with a smile so big it made my breath catch in my throat.

  “I have to take care of things around here,” I told him softly as he dropped down beside me so we were lying face to face. “I have to give notice at my job and have Gram to visit one more time.”

  “Okay, sweetheart. We’ll make it work.”

  “I don’t know how long it’s going to take,” I warned, “I need you to be patient with me and—”

  “As long as you’re making the move, I can be patient.”

  “—and I need you to come see me more often. I can’t keep waiting on you for three months at a time.”

  “I’ll do my best, sweetheart,” he promised immediately, leaning in for a kiss.

  We lay there a while, just watching each other. It had been so long since we’d done that, just spending time soaking each other in without arguments or sex between us. It was soothing in a way that I couldn’t have imagined.

  “You want to start a family?” I asked him quietly, reaching up to run my fingers lightly over his lips.

  “Yeah,” he cleared his throat, but his voice was still husky as he continued. “Doesn’t have to happen tomorrow, or even in the next few years. But, yeah, I wanna see my babies growing in your belly.”

  “Okay.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  And that was that.

  Apparently, I was moving to Oregon.

  Chapter 43

  Callie

  It was almost four months after my birthday and there was no move in sight.

  I’d started the process, giving notice at my job and packing boxes of little-used items in the apartment, but it seemed that one thing after another delayed my plans.
br />   When I’d talked to my boss at the restaurant, he’d seemed sad to let me go but willing to give a good reference whenever I found a new job. Unfortunately, he’d asked me to take over hiring and training my replacement first. For a variety of reasons, I didn’t feel like I could say no. He’d not only trusted me when he hired a kid with little experience to manage his restaurant, but he’d also been really good about giving me time off when I’d needed it during Gram’s and Asa’s visits. I felt like I owed him.

  The applications didn’t come flooding in. They came in more of a trickle, and it was three weeks before we had a pool of applicants large enough to start the interview process. Most of them had little experience and a few didn’t even realize what the job was. It was a nightmare.

  By the time we’d finally hired someone, a month had gone by since we’d started the entire process. I was anxious to train him so I could finally move, and I’d gone to work with a spring in my step, thinking the end was in sight… and the new hire had never shown up. He literally never showed. Not that day or the week following. Because the new hire had been the only valid option in the slew of applicants, I had to start all over again.

  Thankfully, the second hire turned out to be perfect. She was an older lady who seemed a little down on her luck, but anxious to work. I’d spent the last two weeks training her, had just finished my last day, and was feeling pretty damn happy that I could finally pack up the rest of my things and make my way to Asa. I missed the hell out of him.

  I hadn’t seen Asa since my birthday, and I was trying not to resent the fact that he’d promised that he would visit and hadn’t. I knew he wasn’t staying away by choice. The same frustration I was feeling was in his voice every time we talked. We hadn’t planned for such a long delay, and it was wearing on both of us.

  Work issues weren’t the only things that had me breaking out in hives on a daily basis. It seemed that everything was hitting me at once, and when Asa had opened the bottle of feelings that I’d closed up tight, I’d been unable to close it again.

  Gram hadn’t been able to visit because she’d picked up some sort of virus and it was kicking her ass. I paced the floor every time I talked to her, the only outlet I had that wouldn’t make her worry, while she spoke to me in a raspy tone each night. She didn’t seem to be getting better fast enough, and while I knew it was because she was older and it really couldn’t keep her down for much longer, I still worried. I wanted to be able to take care of her, but it was impossible for her to drive, and even more impossible for me to go to her. For the first time in a long time, I hated the fact that I was no longer in San Diego.