Always Dakota

“Last week.”

  “How’d she sound to you?”

  Jeb shrugged and his brows came together in a frown. “Same as always. Is everything all right?”

  Dennis wished he knew. “I think she’s doing too much. She won’t slow down. The doctor said she should use her judgment, but…I’m worried. I’ve tried to convince her to let me do more around the house—she won’t hear of it.”

  “How’s the pregnancy going?”

  “Supposedly everything’s as it should be. But…” Dennis sighed. His fears were rampant. He didn’t go to sleep without worrying about Sarah and the baby. He feared the unknown, feared some unexpected complication that would cost him either the life of his child or that of his wife. Perhaps both. There were nights he’d lie awake for hours, consumed by dread.

  Dennis wasn’t the kind of man who could bear the grief of losing a wife or child. He wasn’t the kind of man who could ever get over it, whose personality would remain intact.

  “You want me to talk to her?” Jeb asked.

  “I want you to tell me everything’s going to be all right with her and the baby,” Dennis snapped. He ran his hand over his face and glanced apologetically at his friend. “Sorry.”

  Jeb slapped him on the shoulder and waited until Dennis had finished with the pump. He sat on the fuel truck’s bumper, where Dennis joined him.

  “I worried about Maddy, too,” Jeb said quietly.

  “She had complications?”

  “No,” Jeb admitted, “but that didn’t keep me from worrying. When I learned she’d gone into labor and refused to leave for the hospital without me, I nearly lost it. Luckily everything turned out all right. I told her never again, but she’s already after me to have another baby.”

  “So soon?”

  “She was an only child and she wants to be sure Julianne has siblings.” Jeb stood, paced two or three steps, then turned around. “The problem is, Maddy knows there’s damn little I can refuse her, so give or take a few months I figure she’ll be pregnant with our second baby.”

  Dennis chuckled.

  “What’s so damn funny?”

  “You. I never would’ve believed a woman would get to you like this.”

  “Maddy isn’t just a woman. She’s…Maddy.”

  Dennis nodded, understanding far better than he let on. He felt the same about Sarah. He was crazy in love with her. Nothing could change that.

  An advancing car sounded in the background, and Jeb peered around the fuel truck. “That’s Calla.”

  A heaviness settled over Dennis’s heart. “Did you know she was coming?”

  “She called earlier and mentioned stopping by this afternoon sometime.”

  Dennis stood. “You might have said something.”

  Jeb frowned. “Why? She’s your stepdaughter.”

  “True enough, but we don’t get along, never have. I don’t know what I did that was so horrible—other than love her mother.” He shrugged helplessly. “She seems to think we’re in competition.”

  Calla parked her grandfather’s truck and climbed down. Dennis noticed her hesitation when she saw him, as though she wasn’t pleased to be running into him, either.

  “What’s he doing here?” she demanded of Jeb.

  “I have a name, Calla,” Dennis said mildly.

  She glared at him. “Whatever.”

  “No, it’s Dennis, and like it or not, I’m your stepfather.”

  She sighed, signaling that she was bored with the subject. “Whatever,” she said again, infuriating him with her rudeness.

  “Dennis is here delivering fuel,” Jeb said, coming to stand between them, obviously accepting the role of peacemaker or at least buffer. “He’s also my friend, and I expect you to treat him with courtesy.”

  Calla ignored him. “Is Maddy around?”

  Jeb walked toward her. “She’s visiting Margaret Eilers. She shouldn’t be long. You can wait if you want.”

  Looking disappointed, Calla headed for the house, then apparently changed her mind. With her hand on the railing she scowled at Dennis. “I hope you’re happy.”

  “Thrilled,” he snapped back, although he had no idea what she was talking about. Not that she needed any excuse to start an argument.

  “You finished up here?” Jeb asked, clearly wanting to usher Dennis on his way and thereby avoid a confrontation.

  “Yeah,” he muttered.

  “Oh, Dennis is more than finished,” Calla sneered.

  Dennis shook his head. “What the hell is your problem?” he asked angrily. “Where do you get off talking to me like that?”

  “I don’t think right now is the time for this,” Jeb muttered, glancing anxiously from one to the other.

  Dennis knew Jeb was uncomfortable, but he’d had it with Calla. Had it with her gibes and her attitude. Had it with her altogether. If she wanted to be miserable, then fine, but leave him and Sarah out of her sick little world.

  “If anything happens to my mother, you’ll pay.”

  “You think I’d hurt Sarah?” he yelled. “Are you insane?”

  “You got her pregnant, didn’t you? She told me how much you wanted a family. Well, I hope you’re happy when you have your precious son. If the pregnancy kills my mother, why should you care?”

  Dennis saw red and would have started for her if Jeb hadn’t spoken. “Don’t be ridiculous, Calla,” he said sharply.

  “Why don’t you go back and live with your father?” Dennis suggested. The months Calla had lived in Minneapolis had given him the only peace he’d had in years.

  “Dennis!” Jeb looked at him as if stunned.

  Calla went pale.

  Knowing what had happened at Willie’s, Dennis regretted the outburst. If not for his uncontrolled fear and his lack of sleep, he would never have said something so immature, something so worthy of Calla herself.

  “I think it’s time you both cooled your tempers,” Jeb said, not hiding his distress at the exchange between them.

  Dennis agreed. He needed to remember who was the adult here. “That last comment was uncalled for,” he muttered. “I apologize.”

  “You’re an ugly, cruel man, Dennis Urlacher,” Calla shouted after him as he walked toward his truck.

  “You might take a look in the mirror yourself,” he shouted back, then leaped inside his cab and gunned the engine.

  Margaret could no longer avoid a trip into town. She had an appointment in Grand Forks with the gynecologist, where she discovered her weight was down five pounds. Dr. Leggatt wasn’t pleased with her, but seemed to sense that her weight loss had little to do with the pregnancy and everything to do with her state of mind. She left after the brief examination.

  In no rush to return to the ranch, she went to Hassie’s for a soda first. No one, other than Maddy, knew she was pregnant. However, she couldn’t help wondering how many people in Buffalo Valley knew about Matt and Sheryl.

  She hadn’t told anyone. Couldn’t. It was too mortifying, too humiliating. Married less than five months, and already she was sure she’d made a terrible mistake. Matt claimed his affair with Sheryl had taken place before the wedding. That was supposed to make her feel better? Well, it didn’t. He should have told her!

  Maybe she was being unfair, but she couldn’t help how she felt. He was right about one thing: they’d eventually have to deal with this, but just now Margaret was too caught up in her own disappointment, her doubts and fears. She hated the things she’d said to him yet she couldn’t seem to stop herself from saying them, from thinking them.

  Hassie greeted Margaret as warmly as always. “You look like you could use one of my sodas,” the older woman said.

  “That’s why I’m here.” Margaret slipped onto the stool and glanced out the window. People had begun to gather outside 3 OF A KIND. “What’s going on at Buffalo Bob’s?” she asked. She hadn’t seen that big a crowd since the night of Bob and Merrily’s wedding.

  “You didn’t hear?” Hassie asked, adding soda to chocolat
e ice cream.

  “They’re getting Axel back?” It seemed a shame that the boy had been taken away from them, and she sincerely hoped the court had seen fit to return him.

  “Bob and Merrily are going through the adoption process, the same as anyone else. The state of California sent someone out to interview them and see the home.” Hassie set the soda on the counter. “The social worker’s there now. Been with them an hour or so.”

  “Why’s the crowd milling around outside?” That seemed odd to Margaret.

  “Moral support. People in Buffalo Valley have taken a real liking to Bob and Merrily. I remember the first time I met him. He called Buffalo Valley a dead-end kind of town. It made me mad, but you know, at the time he was right.”

  “It wasn’t dead-end enough to stop him from taking over the bar and grill, though, was it?”

  “That’s what’s so humorous. He was thrilled, claimed he’d do whatever he could to help save the town, and by golly, he stuck to his word.”

  “Are they going to be able to adopt Axel?”

  Hassie thought that over for a moment. “If there’s such a thing as fairness in this world, then Axel will come back here, where he belongs.”

  For the sake of the couple, Margaret hoped Hassie was right. Unfortunately her current mood was anything but optimistic. Tears blurred her vision, and she brushed them aside. She didn’t know if her mixed-up emotions were due to her pregnancy or to her good-for-nothing husband. These days, she didn’t need an excuse to cry; her tears were so near the surface. A sentimental television commercial could reduce her to a puddle of emotion in seconds.

  “I wish them well,” Margaret whispered as she sipped.

  Hassie stared at her, eyes narrowing. “Margaret Clemens Eilers, are you crying?”

  Margaret’s bottom lip started to tremble. She opened her mouth, ready to deny it, but decided that was useless. “I’m pregnant.”

  Hassie’s face lit up with delight. “Margaret, that’s wonderful!”

  “That’s a matter of opinion,” she muttered.

  Hassie frowned in surprise. “You don’t want this baby?”

  Somehow the question had never entered her mind. When she’d first suspected she was pregnant, she’d hidden the news from Matt, wanting the pregnancy confirmed before she told him. Every time she thought about the baby, she felt a happiness she’d never experienced before. And yet there was something missing, something crucial. She couldn’t share this pregnancy with her husband. Matt and his girlfriend had robbed her of that joy.

  “I want my baby,” Margaret whispered, her voice faltering. Embarrassed by the tears, she used the back of her hand to dash them from her face. Eager to leave, she reached inside her pocket for cash.

  “It’s on the house,” Hassie told her.

  Any other time, Margaret would have insisted on paying. She regretted the stop in town now and knew she was only postponing the inevitable. Matt would be waiting for her when she returned to the ranch. Despite Margaret’s instructions, Sadie was giving him information; she was convinced of it. He seemed to know she was going to the doctor’s when she left and had asked her to give him an update on the pregnancy when she got home.

  Sure enough, he met her when she climbed out of the truck.

  “What did the doctor have to say?” he wanted to know.

  She noticed the shadows beneath his eyes. So he wasn’t sleeping well. Good. She wasn’t, either.

  “I’m fine. The baby’s fine. Kindly leave me alone.” She pushed past him and made her way toward the house.

  “I’m wondering if you remember what you said the day we were married?” he called out after her.

  “What I said?”

  “Our wedding vows,” he reminded her in clipped tones. “You promised to love me for better or for worse. Okay, so the worse part is here. Are you going to stand with me, Margaret?” His eyes pleaded for understanding and forgiveness.

  The irony of his quoting their wedding vows was almost more than she could take. “I can’t believe you’d have the audacity to mention our vows.”

  “I never broke them,” he said, “not once.”

  Unable to stop herself, she snorted. “You never meant them! You want to quote vows at me, then include love and honor. Are you trying to convince me that you feel anything for me? You’re only interested in my cattle and my land. I’m just a means to an end—that’s all I ever was and that’s all I am now. Admit it, Matt, if not to me, then to yourself.”

  “You’re wrong, Margaret!”

  Sadly she shook her head. “Are you now claiming you did love me? You expect me to believe you would’ve married me if I didn’t have a dime to my name?”

  He lowered his gaze. She had him there and he knew it.

  “It didn’t hurt that you inherited the ranch. I won’t lie about that, but it wasn’t the only reason.” He hesitated and swallowed convulsively. “You were the first person who ever believed in me. I told you that before, and it’s the truth. You had faith in me. I’ve never had anyone stick up for me the way you did. Never had anyone look past my faults and love me despite them. Not like you—not with such sweetness…such innocence.”

  “In other words, I was a naive idiot.”

  “I never meant to hurt you. If I could go back and change any of this I would.”

  Margaret couldn’t look at him and not feel the urge to forgive—but she refused to do that. He’d hurt her too deeply. “You can’t change the past.”

  He gripped his hat with both hands and boldly held her eyes. “You got what you wanted.”

  She frowned in confusion. “I wanted this kind of pain? I wanted this agony? Never in my life have I hurt more! It wasn’t this bad when my father died, and now you’re telling me it’s what I want? You’re crazy!”

  “You wanted me, remember?”

  Unfortunately she did remember, all too well.

  “I’m no prize. You knew that when you married me.”

  “All I want…” she sobbed “…is for all this pain to go away.”

  “If I could make that happen, I would. But I can’t.” He moved toward her, then stopped when she tensed. “I’ve talked to Sheryl and her attorney. The baby’s due the end of June and she’ll be my responsibility.”

  “It’s a girl?”

  He nodded.

  “You’ve spoken to Sheryl?” She couldn’t keep the dejection out of her voice.

  “It was while I was in the attorney’s office, and it wasn’t a friendly conversation. Mostly I let him do the talking….”

  She swallowed the huge lump that filled her throat.

  “You’re right, I didn’t love you when we married. I’m guilty of that crime, but I didn’t marry you just for the ranch. I needed someone to believe in me, and even if it was only for these five months, all I can do is thank you. I’ve learned to love you, Margaret. Heart and soul, I love you.”

  She could feel herself being drawn toward him, being lured back into his arms. Despite her own intentions, she was affected by his sincerity. “You love me,” she repeated doubtfully. “That’s mighty convenient, isn’t it?”

  “Assume what you want, but it’s the truth.”

  Margaret needed to think, needed to sort through the pain and all the confused emotions. It was too easy to allow herself to be swayed.

  Pressing her hands to the sides of her head, she closed her eyes. “I can’t think now.”

  “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here.”

  That was fair, and necessary. She nodded, turned her back on him and walked inside.

  Fourteen

  Sarah couldn’t sit still. She paced the living room and glanced at the clock every other minute, waiting for Dennis to come home. She would have driven down to the service station and confronted him, but it was his day to make fuel deliveries. Briefly she considered waiting for him there. However, when she was this angry, she preferred to discuss the matter in private.
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  An hour later, the door off the kitchen swung open and Dennis came in, still wearing his grease-smeared coveralls. From the way he dragged his feet, she knew he’d had a long, hard day, but that didn’t stop her. She had to know.

  “Did you and Calla have an argument last week?” she demanded.

  Dennis snapped his head back, as though her sharp words had caught him by surprise.

  “Did you have it out with my daughter?” she asked again, with the same outraged intensity. The anger had been festering inside her since morning and wouldn’t easily be quelled. Not until she’d heard from her own husband exactly what had happened.

  Not responding, Dennis walked into the bathroom and proceeded to climb out of his coveralls.

  “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about,” she cried, refusing to be ignored.

  “I’m not.” He turned on the shower and started to undress.

  “Answer me, will you?” After waiting all afternoon to talk to him, she wasn’t willing to be put off.

  “We’ll talk about this when I’ve had a chance to unwind.” With that, he eased her out of the bathroom and shut the door.

  Standing in the hallway, her arms crossed defiantly, Sarah blinked. He’d actually removed her from the room, then calmly closed the door in her face.

  Not knowing what else to do, she returned to the kitchen and chopped green peppers and tomatoes for the dinner salad. By the time she’d finished, the vegetables looked pureed.

  Ten minutes later, Dennis entered the kitchen, his hair damp from the shower. He wore a clean pair of jeans and a short-sleeved shirt, suitable for the unseasonably warm May weather.

  “Are you ready to talk now?” she asked, doing her best to hold back her irritation.

  “In a minute.” He got himself a beer from the fridge, poured it into a glass. Then he sat down at the table. “All right,” he finally said with a beleaguered sigh, “what do you want to know?”

  “Did you or did you not have words with Calla?” She was incredulous that it’d taken nearly a week for news of the confrontation to get back to her.

  Dennis nodded.

  “You didn’t say anything about it to me,” she accused him, furious that he’d hidden this from her.