Have You Seen Her?

  He grazed his knuckles along the line of her jaw. “And then?”

  She looked him in the eye as if challenging him to disagree. “And then I decided I was tired of watching calendars and measuring time.”

  He realized he really knew very little about her ordeal. “Jenna, what happened with Adam?”

  She shrugged. “You know how it is. Your wife died, too. You grieve. You cry. You swear at God. You say you’re sorry to God so He doesn’t take anybody else you love.” She sighed. “I guess the hardest part was going back to our apartment after he was gone. Going through his things. Knowing he’d never use them again.”

  “Was that the apartment you live in now?”

  “No, I moved into where I am now after I dealt with all his things.” She downed a mouthful of beer. “Adam’s sister wanted me to move in with her.” She shuddered. “That was not a good idea.”

  He pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Did Adam die in the hospital?”

  “No, he died in a hospice.”

  “The one you visit on Sundays? Nicky told me Jim is a therapy dog. He was very impressed.”

  “I only go once a month. I swear it’s one of the hardest things I do.”

  But she did it. Here was a woman who didn’t back down from adversity. He lifted up her chin and looked into her eyes. “I have to say I’m very impressed, too.”

  Her smile was wry. “Then you’re as easy to con as Nicky,” she said. “I’m not that special, I just did what I had to do. Just like you did when your wife left you with three kids. That had to be hard.”

  It was, but not the way she thought. The hardest part was pretending to grieve a woman he’d come to hate. To look at his boys and know if Melissa hadn’t died, he’d be explaining why she hadn’t loved any of them enough. Mike was right about most things, but he was wrong about telling his boys the truth. It wouldn’t have helped anyone. “Yeah,” he finally said. “That was hard.” He took a drink of his own beer. “So tell me about these dates we’re going to have,” he said, looking to change the subject. “Where would you like to go?”

  Jenna watched the shadows cross his face and wished she could make them go away. Forever. “I don’t know,” she said playfully. “Hawaii wouldn’t be bad.” His brows shot up in surprise. “I’m just kidding,” she added hastily. “I’m actually a pretty cheap date. Beer and hot wings is fine.”

  “I’ve never been to Hawaii,” he said thoughtfully.

  Jenna rolled her eyes. “I’m not asking to go to Hawaii. Nobody can afford a trip like that.”

  Steven sipped at his beer. “I can.”

  She looked at him suspiciously. “What do you mean? Cops don’t make that much money.”

  He grinned at her and his eyes crinkled at the corners and her heart flip-flopped. “I’m not an ordinary cop,” he said. “I’m a special agent.”

  Jenna balled up a napkin and tossed it at his head. “So where did you get all this extra cash, Special Agent Man?”

  He shrugged. “My wife was killed by a drunk driver. The insurance company was very interested in settling out of court. At any rate, I probably couldn’t take off enough time to go to Hawaii.”

  “How long has it been since you had a vacation?”

  His lips quirked up in a smile that wasn’t really a smile. “We took the boys to the beach when Nicky was a baby.”

  Jenna frowned. “You haven’t had a vacation in five years?”

  “More like six.”

  Jenna stared up at the ceiling. “And you wonder why you’re stressed.” She looked back at him and decided. “One of our dates will be a vacation.”

  His eyes smiled. “It will?”

  “Yes, it will. You remember me talking about my friend Mark?”

  “Your karate master.”

  “Yes. He and his wife have a little beachhouse on the Outer Banks.” She batted her eyelashes at him. “We’ll go there when you’ve decided we’re past the hand-holding and good-night kiss stage.”

  His eyes changed in a heartbeat, going hot, his face taking on the look that made her want to devour him. “Maybe I already have.”

  She swallowed, feeling the sexual tension spike and with it the skin-tingling rush of heat that made her nipples tight and her panties wet. She touched her tongue to her lips, noting his eyes watching her every move and that turned her on even more. “What made you change your mind?”

  He dipped his head, covered her mouth, and although gentle, his kiss held the promise of more.

  More was good.

  He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, his brown eyes so close she could see the flecks of gold surrounding his dilated pupils. “You made my baby laugh,” he said.

  It was a good answer. It was such a good answer it sucked all the air from her lungs. “Has it been fifteen minutes?” Jenna asked, her voice rusty. “Because if it has, I say we ditch Detective Davies and go back to my place.”

  “It’s been fifteen minutes,” Steven said.

  She quickly calculated how long it would take them to get back to her apartment. Too damn long. But once they arrived, there would finally be relief from this awful yearning. Finally.

  But then, of course, came a knock on their booth. “Sorry I’m late,” Detective Davies said. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

  Steven squeezed his eyes shut. A muscle spasmed in his cheek. “Shit.”

  In dazed disbelief Jenna lifted her eyes to see Davies wearing a smile that made her wonder if he didn’t know darn well he was “interrupting something” and wasn’t enjoying the fact that he was.

  Neil stretched his legs beneath the table Jenna had been sharing with Thatcher. It felt good to stretch his legs after all the hours in that damn soup can they had the nerve to call a rental car. It felt better to savor the few minutes alone with Jenna Marshall. For days she’d haunted his thoughts and dreams. For days he’d been spared the nightmares of the past four years. For three years he’d dreamed of ghosts and demons. For the past four days he’d dreamed of her. For four straight nights he’d had peace. He’d decided peace was something he’d fight to keep.

  He’d decided she was someone he’d fight to keep. She’d have a choice, of course. So he’d have to ensure the lady had all the facts to make the right choice.

  “So tell me a little about yourself, Jenna,” he said as she glanced toward the front door where Thatcher had disappeared with his cell phone and the fax Neil had just received from Barrow in Seattle. He had to hand it to Thatcher. The man wasn’t entirely inept. He’d taken one look at the fax and instantly understood the significance. Which was why Thatcher was in his car with his cell phone talking to ADA Liz Johnson at the moment.

  “Not a whole lot to tell, Detective Davies,” she said with a smile. A smile that said she wished him to perdition, Neil thought and made himself smile back. It didn’t take a genius to recognize what he’d interrupted.

  “Call me Neil. How’s Casey?” he asked, and the light that came on in her eyes nearly took his breath away. She was a beautiful woman, but when her face lit up . . . she was unforgettable. And he damned Thatcher all over again.

  “She’s going to be fine,” she said. “Thank you for asking.” “You’re welcome. So I hear you’re a teacher. What do you teach?”

  “High school chemistry and general science.” She looked over at the door again and Neil found himself becoming annoyed.

  “He’ll be back soon enough,” he said irritably. “I take it your car was totaled in the wreck.” And he watched her expression become angry and sad at the same time.

  “It was.”

  “Well, your insurance should replace it.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “It was a 1960 Jaguar XK 150.”

  Neil winced. “Ouch.”

  She sighed. “It belonged to my fiancé who passed away two years ago.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She gave a rueful wince. “Me, too. I still have to tell his family that I wrecked his car.” r />
  “But you didn’t wreck it. It was sabotage.”

  “I don’t think I’ll mention the cut brakes,” she said. “They worry about me enough as it is.”

  “They?”

  “My fiancé’s family. They’re rather overprotective.”

  “So what will you tell them?” he asked, praying Thatcher stayed out in his car another ten minutes. Ten more minutes with Jenna. “I don’t think this is something you’ll be able to hide with a few cosmetic touch-ups.”

  She smiled ruefully. “I don’t know. Do you have any ideas?”

  He pretended to consider it. “You could tell them the car was stolen.”

  She shook her head. “No, then they’d staple ‘lost’ posters to every tree in Raleigh and take out an ad on a milk carton.”

  Neil threw back his head and laughed. “Well, how about telling them you sold it to passing gypsies for three magic beans?”

  She smiled at him engagingly. “No gypsies would be safe from the Clan Llewellyn.”

  Neil cocked a brow. “Llewellyn is their name? My grandmother on my mother’s side was a Llewellyn. My family came over from Wales about sixty years ago.”

  “You should talk to Seth. My fiancé’s father, that is.” She frowned. “My former fiancé.”

  “I understand,” Neil said.

  Her lips smiled but her eyes still frowned as if frustrated by her verbal slip. And it didn’t take a very observant man to notice the man’s ring she worried on the thumb of her right hand. He was sure it had belonged to her dead fiancé. When she was his, she’d put the ring away. She could keep it, just not on her finger.

  “Anyway,” she said, “Seth came over from Swansea when he was a boy.” She leaned toward him and dropped her voice conspiratorially. “He’ll carry on for hours about Wales to anyone foolish enough to step into his parlor. If he brings out the slide projector, run like hell.”

  Neil smiled back. “If I have time before I leave, I’d love to meet him. I have lots of questions about my grandparents’ birthplace, which I don’t think is far from Swansea. I—” He stopped when her facial expression froze and looked over to where she was staring.

  Thatcher stood ten feet away, looking mad enough to chew nails.

  Neil slid from the booth and approached him. “Plans in place?” he asked, but Thatcher didn’t turn his way, just kept staring at Jenna with a furious look. Thatcher was jealous, an emotion Neil well understood.

  “Liz says it’s not enough,” Thatcher gritted.

  Neil frowned, glancing at Jenna from the corner of his eye. She was pale and he worried about the spot he’d put her in. But surely Thatcher wasn’t a violent man, he thought, finding his protective instincts raised. Uneasily he turned his back on Jenna to stare at Thatcher. “What do you mean it’s not enough? One of Parker’s teachers signs an affidavit saying he threatened her with bodily harm if she didn’t pass him out of her class? It’s a direct link to the vandalism in Jenna’s class. What more does your ADA want to bring Parker in for questioning?”

  “Maybe you should go ask her. Now would be good,” Thatcher responded through his teeth.

  “Thatcher,” he began, but Thatcher turned with his jaw clenched so hard it was a wonder the man didn’t break every tooth in his head.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Davies.”

  Neil looked back to the table where Jenna sat chewing on her lower lip, her eyes now troubled. Not afraid, just troubled. And quite possibly more than just a little bit pissed. He remembered the brown belt she’d worn around her waist when he’d met her Thursday night and figured she was more than capable of taking care of herself. Even so, he’d check on her tomorrow. Just to make sure she was all right. A professional courtesy, as it were. “Tomorrow, then,” he said to Thatcher, and against his better judgment, left the bar without looking back.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Saturday, October 8, 10:15 P.M.

  JENNA WAS OUT OF THE VOLVO AND HALFWAY UP the stairs to her apartment by the time he got the keys out of the ignition. Muttering a curse, he followed, catching up with her at her front door.

  She looked up from searching her purse, her eyes accusing. “I think it’s better for both of us if you just went home, Steven,” she said softly, then turned to look behind her with a scowl. “I’m all right, Mrs. Kasselbaum. We just had a fight. If you’d care to come out in your hair curlers I’d be glad to tell you all about it.”

  The door clicked closed and Jenna gritted her teeth, dropping her eyes to search her purse again. Dismissing him.

  “Jenna, we need to talk.”

  “I think you’ve said quite enough for one evening, don’t you think?”

  He blew out a breath. “I said I was sorry. Just open the door so we can discuss this in private, okay?”

  She shook her purse in frustration. “I’d open the door if I could find my damn keys.”

  The door behind them opened and a gnarled old hand appeared with two keys connected with a bread bag twisty-tie. “Thank you, Mrs. Kasselbaum,” Steven gritted and took the keys, remembering he still hadn’t changed the deadbolt on Jenna’s front door. He ignored Jenna’s outstretched palm and unlocked the door himself, holding it open as she squeezed past him with a glare.

  He closed the door and leaned against it. Watched her hang up her jacket and run a soothing hand over Jean-Luc’s back before sending the dog back to his bed in the corner. The dog glared at him, able to read Jenna’s mood.

  So could Steven. She was upset. She had a right to be. He’d been jealous and curt and had embarrassed her in front of Davies. “I said I was sorry.”

  She nodded, her back to him. “Yes, you did. Now would you care to tell me why?”

  “Why I’m sorry?”

  “No, why you threw that little tantrum back at the bar.” He gritted his teeth at the trivialization. “It wasn’t a tantrum.”

  She turned around, scorn on her face. “Then what was it, exactly, because I’m confused. I only know this is the second time you’ve jumped to the wrong conclusion when you’ve seen me talk to another man. Your track record leaves much to be desired, Agent Thatcher.”

  He shook his head. “What are you talking about?” “Thursday night at the hospital—when you came in with Neil and I was with Ned and Lucas. You were angry then, too.”

  Steven locked his arms across his chest, remembering how he felt seeing her in the arms of another man. He hadn’t been angry. He’d been hurt. But now he’d be damned before admitting that to her. “I was not angry. Surprised, maybe, but not angry.”

  She drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Fine.” She lightly pushed him away from the front door and he let her do it. Opening the front door she gestured for him to leave. “I’d like to continue this when you’re willing to talk to me,” she said, in what he imagined to be her schoolteacher voice. It grated on him. “But it’s late and I’m tired and I’d like you to go now.”

  He stared at her for a full minute. She meant it. She was throwing him out. “Davies wants you for himself,” he heard himself say, then waited.

  Her lips twisted in a humorless smile. “Well, Steven, you of all people should know we don’t get everything we want. You actually thought I . . .” She let the thought trail away and shook her head. “If you could even think I could go with him not twenty minutes after talking about making love with you?” She swallowed hard. “Then we weren’t talking about making love. We were only talking about having sex. And to borrow a trite phrase, I’m not that kind of a girl.” She motioned to the hallway with a flourish. “Good night, Steven.”

  Uncertainly he stepped out into the hall and a second later was staring at the door she’d quietly closed in his face. Slowly he trudged down the stairs and to his car where he had an eagle’s eye view of Jenna standing at her window, looking down at him.

  She just stared down as he stared up, her expression so disappointed and grave. No hysterics or thrown pottery as Melissa would have done. And he heard Mike’s voice in
his head. “Not all women are Melissa.” Steven knew that. He knew Jenna was nothing like Melissa. He’d known it from the very start. Yet at the first opportunity he’d allowed himself to believe the worst. He’d wounded her before she could wound him.

  And he’d done a damn fine job.

  He watched as she went into the kitchen, coming out with the container of ice cream she’d taken comfort in the night Casey got hurt. The night he’d told her he could fall in love with her. Because she was beautiful and kind. Every man’s dream.

  His dream. So get your ass back up there and apologize, his self told him severely. So he did.

  “Jenna, open the door,” he coaxed when she didn’t answer. “Please.” He’d leaned his forehead on her door when he heard a giant sigh behind him and turned to find Mrs. Kasselbaum in her robe and hair curlers looking as if she really wanted to take a switch to his hide.

  “Do I have to do everything for you people?” she demanded in an exasperated voice. “I gave you the keys not ten minutes ago. Have you lost them already?”

  Steven dug in his pocket and felt the twisty-tie prick his finger. “No, ma’am.” He brought out the keys and showed them to her. “Here they are.”

  She rolled her eyes. “And there is the door. Do I have to draw you a map? Key, door. I swear, young man, if my safety is in your hands, I’m going to buy a gun.”

  Steven felt his lips twitch. “No, ma’am, don’t do that. I’m sorry we woke you.”

  “Don’t let this become a nightly occurrence,” she snapped and stepped back into her apartment.

  Jenna looked up, startled when her door swung open and Steven walked in as if he owned the place. She glared at him, wishing she had never let him into her heart. Wishing she’d never given him the power to hurt her so badly. Wishing Mrs. Kasselbaum didn’t have a spare set of keys to her apartment. “I thought I told you to go away.”