Patriots

  Chapter 11:

  On Our Own

  They left me. I woke up and realized they had left me alive. Dead bodies littered the ground. I could only assume everyone I knew was among the dead. I got to my feet weakly and screamed. I screamed until I could no longer make a noise and I grew hoarse.

  “Take me! Fucking take me!” I yelled wildly. “You forgot me! Take me too!”

  Nothing and no one ever came. No one ever presented themselves to claim their prize. Joe was dead, Benny was dead, and I assumed my brother was too. Jed and Emily were gone. I was completely alone. There was finally nothing to worry about. I felt relief. For the first time since the revolution, I felt relief. This was what I was waiting for this whole time. I was waiting to be alone.

  Are you happy, Dustin? Are you content that you finally got what you wanted? It came at the price of your brother, Dustin! Your brother!

  I fell to the ground and started laughing. Tears rushed down my face but I tried to hide them.

  From whom? Who are you hiding them from, Dustin?

  “Stop taunting me!” I screamed to the nothingness.

  Let’s walk, Dustin. Where to?

  I contemplated and finally answered: “How’s home sound?”

  Where is home, Dustin?

  I began making noises as I searched for which way “home” would be. I pointed in a direction and said: “There! There is home!”

  We’ll make it home. We’ll make it our new home, Dustin.

  “Why are you toying with me? What- what is this?”

  Been waiting a long time to say that, haven’t you, Dustin?

  “What do you mean?”

  Everyone is gone, Dustin, and yet you still need company. You still need someone to keep you company.

  “I’ll be fine with or without you. Leave if you want. There’s the door,” I said as I pointed to an invisible door.

  Do you miss Benny more or your brother? Or do you miss Emily? Well, Jed is dead too. Who do you miss most, Dustin?

  “Why do you keep saying my name?” I asked slightly irritated, yet with a hint of knowing.

  Your name has been Marley for so long, Dustin. We want you to be yourself again. You can finally be yourself again.

  “Well, I appreciate the gesture and all, but this is just a setback,” I replied.

  Setback? Everyone’s dead, Dustin.

  “I’m coping, dammit! It hasn’t sunk in yet!” I yelled back in anger.

  Walk, Dustin.

  “I won’t,” I said back definitively.

  Suddenly, my body began moving in the direction the voice compelled me to go.

  “We’re one, aren’t we? I need you and you need me,” I said to the voice.

  For now. Let’s get you somewhere safe, Dustin.

  “What’s your stake in all this?” I questioned the voice.

  Same as yours.

  “Which is?”

  You tell me.

  “To get my brother to-”

  To safety.

  “But he’s not-”

  Here anymore. So it’s time to start-

  “Thinking for myself. What do we do?”

  It’s completely up to you. You have the power to shape the world how you want.

  “But I need your help,” I pleaded. I was scared to face what was ahead on my own.

  I’ll be with you the whole way.

  “Where?”

  I stopped in my tracks to think. What is happening to me? How did I lose my mind this quickly? What is my goal? I’m lost. I can’t stop for directions. Where do I go? What do I do?

  These sentiments quickly consumed me and I became overwhelmed. I decided to voice my thoughts again.

  “What is our goal?”

  Ours?

  “Yeah, you’re in this with me. Start talking.”

  Are you sure I’m not just your conjuring of your true problem: dependence?

  “Don’t say that!” I ordered.

  Are you scared, Dustin Parker?! You always need someone at your side to blame things on when things go wrong, isn’t that right?!

  “Stop!”

  Now you’re paying the price. First it was Jess that had to save you.

  “Please, stop!”

  Then Dave and Chuck had to step in. If it weren’t for them, Levi would have died a long time ago.

  “I don’t want to hear this!”

  I fell to my knees and attempted to cover my ears with only one hand. It didn’t work. I could still hear the voice. It was still taunting me.

  No, you can’t hear this!

  “Please!”

  Then Benny. And what did you do? You fought and accused him! What did he do to you!? You were jealous! He saved you! He saved Levi!

  “I said enough!”

  I waited a moment. No noise, no voices. I was alone again. I stood straight up and waited. I stood there for another minute and realized I had dispelled the voice. That was it. I was finally alone.