Undone - Virginia Henley

  "I can manage." _I'll have to postpone leaving until he sleeps_.

  John quickly pulled on his clothes and picked up the donkey. When she opened the door for him, he bade her close it tightly after him. Though the stable was only a hundred yards distance from the living quarters of the lodge, he had to struggle against the biting wind and ice pellets. He kept close to the stone walls of the building, realizing that out in the open the blizzard would defeat even the strongest of men.

  When John reached the stable he made a bed of straw for the little donkey and piled the stall with hay. Baby or no, it would soon learn to feed itself. He talked to Demon as he fed him, then filled buckets with snow and brought them inside where they would melt for drinking water. When he checked the snares, he found wolf tracks and blood and knew they had carried off whatever he had caught. With a ripe curse he went back into the stable for oats--they'd have to make do with porridge for breakfast.

  While he was gone Elizabeth spoke to Queenie. "He never even offered to help me get back to the castle. He has a soldier's courage and strength, to say nothing of a horse. Surely he could at least _try_ to get me back to my baby!"

  Queenie gave a defiant bark.

  "You are supposed to be my friend. Why are you on his side?"

  Her bandages impeded her dexterity and, frustrated, she removed the one from her left hand. The raw patches stung, and she found that she couldn't touch the heated iron pot without pain, so she left her right hand bandaged. She felt her woolen dress, found it was dry and quickly pulled it over her head before John returned.

  When he came in, he took the oats to the kitchen then filled a couple of large iron kettles with snow so that they would have water. He filled a bowl for Queenie. "Here, girl. No doubt the rabbit legs made you thirsty." He eyed Elizabeth as he removed his boots and jacket and hid a smile as he began to take off his breeches. "Your clothes might be dry, but mine are soaked again." He had sent his baggage to England with his men, and though he did have a dry change of clothes in his saddlebags, he had more sense than to let Elizabeth know.

  Once again they shared a bowl and he fed her with the spoon, although he did allow her to hold her own bread. He watched her dip it in the gravy and relish the taste of it in her mouth. "You enthrall me, Beth. You are the only lady of my acquaintance who would not turn up her nose and disdain to eat rabbit."

  "That's because I am not a lady," she said lightly.

  "No," he agreed, "you are more _woman_ than any female I know." He arose and filled two small goblets with whiskey, brought them back to the fire, then put one in her hand.

  Spurred by his praise, she confided, "I'm not afraid of my mother any longer. I finally took my courage in my hands and asserted myself. She didn't exactly collapse like tissue paper, but she did defer to my authority." She began to sip the whiskey.

  "I'm glad you are no longer afraid. What about Hamilton?"

  She lowered her lashes. She had vowed to tell no one about her unhappiness. She'd told John she hated being a duchess, but she could not tell him how much she hated Hamilton. There was already too much dangerous rivalry between the pair of Scots.

  Her masked eyes gave him his answer. He knew what Hamilton was; how could she not be afraid of him? Concern for her knotted his gut. "You regret marrying him."

  "Sometimes," she admitted, "but the one thing I can never regret is having my son, Jamie. Nor do I regret that he will be the Duke of Hamilton some day. Being a mother fills me with happiness."

  "As it should, my beauty." He drained his goblet and stretched his arms over his head in a subtle hint that it was time for bed.

  She glimpsed the black mole in his armpit and turned her head away quickly, denying the evidence (hat was never far from her private thoughts. It was too frightening for her to contemplate. She heard him put logs on the fire, banking it for the night. Butterflies fluttered in her belly. He was about to carry her to the other chamber and sleep with her in the big bed. "John ... no."

  "Elizabeth, yes!" He swooped upon her from behind, lifted her high, and carried her to the bed. Her ear brushed against his chest. "Can you hear the wild hammer of my heart?"

  She met his dark eyes with a shy smile as he undressed her for bed. His long-starved passion flared high again as he gazed down at her exquisite beauty. When he put her in bed and slipped in beside her, she cast aside all her reserve. _This man is worth any risk_! For a whole hour they lost themselves in the bliss of slow, melting kisses. Then, with his mouth pressed against the sensitive skin of her breast, he whispered love words that told her how she made him feel and what he was going to do to her in his loveplay.

  John Campbell intoxicated her. He was far more potent than the whiskey. Finally, their arousal was so intense that he mounted her and took them on a ride they would never forget. A scream gathered in her throat, and her nails dug into the powerful muscles of his shoulders. This time there was no holding back, and they climaxed together then held absolutely still to savor every last shudder of their primal mating.

  After the loving he held her possessively, and they drifted to the edge of sleep. Elizabeth drowsed as she waited for his breathing to tell her he was fast in the arms of Morpheus. Though she felt boneless, she softly edged away from his body and slipped from the warm bed. She gathered her scattered clothes and dressed in the other chamber by the fire. Noiselessly, she put on her boots and sable cape then bade Queenie to be quiet as she silently opened the door and slipped outside. The impact of the icy blizzard almost felled her. She clung to the stone wall doggedly and began to make her way toward the stable.

  She had gone less than fifty yards when the door of Chatelherault was flung open. She heard it crash against the wall and saw the yellow lamplight illuminate the snow, then she heard Queenie's barks over the howl of the wind. She crouched against the wall hoping to escape discovery, but it was in vain. A naked John Campbell swooped down upon her and caught her in his talons. He had the look of a raptor who had just captured its prey. She stared into the hard, dark face, rigid with anger. Ungently, he dragged her back and shoved her through the door.

  She stood pretending defiance. "I would be a poor mother if..."

  "Not another bloody word." His voice was like the crack of a whip as he strode to the fire to warm his freezing flesh.

  Her wet fur slid from her shoulders and lay where it fell.

  "You actually intended to steal my horse. If Queenie hadn't barked, you could both have died. There is a hungry wolf pack out there. You'd be a poor mother if your deliberate recklessness got you killed! Take off those wet clothes and get to bed."

  Elizabeth obeyed him without demur. She had been in the wrong; she had known it the moment she went outside. In a few minutes he came into the room and climbed into bed. He enfolded her in his arms so that what body heat they had left mingled to warm them.

  His towering anger at her disappeared as quickly as it had arrived and was replaced by apprehension. He was going off to war and after tonight could not be there for her. Nor could he protect her from Hamilton, because she was the other man's wife. He stroked her hair and spoke softly. "Beth, I've had word that the king will shortly declare war. I'll be sent to France, and I'm filled with disquiet."

  She stiffened. "Dear God, no wonder you are worried!"

  "I'm not worried about _me_!"

  She gazed up at him. "That's what frightens me, John." Her arms tightened about him. "Just don't die. Don't you dare die!"

  He tucked her head beneath his chin. "Get some rest. Tomorrow might be a trying day."

  They awoke late and realized that some time in the night the fierce wind had dropped. They both went to the kitchen and laughed at the domestic picture they made, cooking porridge then trying to eat it without benefit of cream or sugar. They shared it with the dog to get rid of it and couldn't stop laughing at the woebegone face she made while eating it, as if she were being punished.

  John took Queenie and was gone an hour seeing to the animals in the stable
. When he returned, he removed his doublet and the dog shook herself. "The temperature must be rising. The snow is turning to rain. It won't take long before it will all be slush. Much as I hate to part with you, my love, I think I will be able to get you back to Cadzow Castle today."

  "My God, John, I mustn't be seen with you. The servants report everything to Hamilton. It's only two miles distance."

  He refrained from arguing with her, and they went to the kitchen to tidy it, then they went into the bedchamber to change the linen and remake the bed. She suddenly looked sad and serious, and he wanted to make her laugh. He launched himself across the freshly made bed and pulled her down into his arms. They rolled about like children, laughing and playing as if they hadn't a care. Neither of them heard the front door open and someone enter.

  Elizabeth suddenly glanced up and froze. "Mr. Burke."

  "Your Grace, thank God you took shelter at the hunting lodge. It was our only hope." He quickly stepped from the room so they could compose themselves.

  Elizabeth's face was white with shock, and she began to tremble. "I am disgraced," she whispered. "The scandal will be horrendous."

  "Mr. Burke is my man, Beth. I sent him to watch over you."

  She stared at him in disbelief, then a wave of relief washed over her turning her knees to wet linen.

  John stuffed the soiled sheets under the bed. "I'll have him take care of these." He winked when she blushed scarlet.

  When she emerged from the bedroom, shyly following John, Mr. Burke said, "I'm sorry to be derelict in my duty, my lord. I'm afraid I did a poor job of watching over her."

  John grinned. "She's a willful little bitch, Mr. Burke. Almost got away from me in the night. I shall leave her in your capable hands. Er... there's also a baby donkey in the stables that will need your assistance."

  When they stepped outside the sun emerged, producing a rainbow.

  John kissed her hand. "It touches the earth in just two places ... where you are, and where I am. _Ne obliviscaris_, Beth."

  *Chapter Thirty*

  "God and Mr. Burke be praised!" Emma cried when she saw Elizabeth.

  Bridget, who had returned from Glasgow that morning, voiced her disapproval. "I knew one day that your obsession with animals would get you into trouble!"

  "I am truly sorry for the worry I caused everyone. Please forgive me. I promise to be more cautious from now on."

  The entire household of Cadzow rejoiced that Elizabeth had safely returned. Mr. Burke was regarded as a hero for battling his way to the hunting lodge the moment the blizzard lessened and rescuing the young duchess.

  Elizabeth took Jamie from Nan's arms and hugged him hungrily. "I thank you with all my heart for looking after him."

  Nan laughed. "I had a dozen hands tae help me, ma'am."

  Elizabeth cooed to her baby. "I warrant Thistle's mother feels just the way I do today." She thought of the wolves and silently thanked John Campbell for saving the little donkey's life.

  After the brief thaw the temperature plummeted again, and all the slush froze hard, keeping everyone close to the castle. By the end of March, however, the ice and snow began to disappear, and on the third day of April, Hamilton's big, black, berline traveling coach arrived at Cadzow.

  Elizabeth was alerted immediately by Mr. Burke, and her heart flew up into her throat. She hid her disappointment, gathered her courage, and dutifully went to greet her husband. Relief engulfed her when she learned from Hamilton's coachman that the duke was not with him. He handed her a letter, and she rewarded him with a grateful smile and bade him ask the cook for a good hot meal. She waited until she was in her own chamber before she read it.

  My Dearest Elizabeth:

  A journey to Scotland is impossible for me at this time. I have therefore instructed my coachman to take you to Uppingham, Rutland, where I shall meet you.

  I have business with Will Cavendish and know you will enjoy a visit with Lady Charlotte, who has just presented her husband with a daughter. I cannot wait to show off our son to them.

  Do not delay your departure. The nobility is already returning to London for the Season and we must make plans for our ball.

  Your devoted husband,

  James, Duke of Hamilton

  Elizabeth wondered if this was calculation on Hamilton's part. If it was, he had certainly chosen a good inducement to pry her from Scotland. She eagerly looked forward to visiting Charlie.

  The next day she received a letter from Charlotte telling her about her baby, whom they'd named Dorothy after her grandmother. Charlie urged her to stop for a visit on her way back from Scotland, and Elizabeth told Emma and Bridget to start packing.

  "Nan, I wish I could take you to London with me, but I imagine your husband would object to leaving Scotland."

  Nan flushed. "I dinna have a husband, Yer Grace. 'Tis a most shameful thing ... but I thought ye knew. I'm most sorry, ma'am."

  Elizabeth touched her hand. "Oh, Nan, it doesn't matter to me. Would you like to come and be Jamie's nursemaid?"

  "I would, but I canna leave ma own bairn, Yer Grace."

  "Nan, as if I would ask a mother to leave her child! Your baby girl is already a part of my household. Go and pack at once."

  In two days the baggage compartment of the carriage was filled and a number of trunks were strapped onto the roof. Elizabeth bade good-bye to Queenie, knowing the dog would be unhappy to leave Cadzow. The berline traveling coach comfortably held the four females and two babies, but there was no room to spare. Elizabeth was astonished at the last minute to see Mr. Burke climb up beside the driver. When she saw that Emma was pleasantly flustered, she smiled a secret smile. _You are a devious devil, John Campbell_.

  "You've only just had your baby. Are you sure you should be up and about, Charlie?" Elizabeth carried her son into the manor, eager to show him off to her dear friend and her mother, Dorothy.

  "I refuse to stay abed ten days, especially when the weather is so springlike. Oh, your son is so darkly beautiful, and he's almost as big as baby William! No wonder James boasts about him."

  Elizabeth paled. "James is here already?"

  "Yes, he arrived yesterday. He's closeted in the library with Will. Why don't you go along and surprise him?"

  "No, no! I won't disturb him when he's talking business."

  "Come to the nursery, then, and I'll show you both my children."

  "Run along," Dorothy Boyle said, linking her arm through Bridget's. "I have months of gossip to impart to your poor mother who has been buried alive in Scotland all winter."

  _How can Charlie's mother be so two-faced? After having an affair with my father, she pretends to be my mother's friend_. Elizabeth guiltily dragged her thoughts from the scandalous situation; her own behavior did not bear scrutiny. "This is Jamie's nursemaid, Nan, who you can see has her own baby girl. She generously agreed to come with me from Cadzow."

  "The more, the merrier," Charlie said, laughing. "We have cradles aplenty, which is a good thing. At the rate Will and I are breeding, we shall fill them all!"

  Elizabeth stayed in the haven of the nursery hoping to postpone the reunion with her husband. Eventually Hamilton sought her out.

  "There's my little prince!" He held out his arms and she reluctantly relinquished her baby son.

  "Elizabeth, my dearest, you are blooming." As he bent to kiss her, his pouched eyes roamed over her figure, openly assessing it. "I trust you had an uneventful journey?"

  "Yes, J... James, Mr. Burke smoothed our way at every stop."

  His brow lowered. "Burke traveled with you?" He handed Jamie back to her and left the nursery.

  _Hamilton needs to be in control. He will dismiss Mr. Burke because he overstepped his authority, and it will be my fault_! After a minute she gained courage to follow the duke and found him with the steward. She overheard Mr. Burke say, "The roads in the Borders were still slick with ice. The safety of the Duchess of Hamilton and your son was my first priority, Your Grace. I also took the liberty of
bringing you a case of fine Scotch whiskey."

  Hamilton's brow cleared immediately. "Very good, Burke. I'm glad to know you are a man who takes his duties seriously."

  Dinner was a grand affair, as were most meals in a Devonshire household. Elizabeth, however, had lost her appetite contemplating the approaching night. Not only would she have to share a chamber with her husband but also a bed. Her emotions were in turmoil. As well as being filled with dread, she was consumed by guilt.

  Will and James carried on a running conversation, as did Dorothy and Bridget. Elizabeth failed to notice that Charlie hardly spoke.

  When the meal was finally finished, Charlie laid her napkin on the table. "Would you all excuse me? I have such a headache."

  _Oh, Lord, Charlie is pretending a headache so that the duke and I can retire early. She's playing Cupid... I could strangle her!_

  James got to his feet, moved behind Elizabeth, and put his hands on her shoulders. "I shall take you upstairs, my dear. You must be ready for bed after your journey."

  "I... I must look in on the nursery."

  He smiled indulgently. "We shall both look in on the nursery."

  In the huge room they found two nursemaids and four cradles. The duke looked in each until he found his own son, then he lifted his little heir and held him at arm's length, admiring him.

  _He truly loves the baby_, Elizabeth thought. _That's because he thinks Jamie is made in his own image_, her inner voice answered. She pushed away her guilt and dropped a kiss on her son's dark head. She turned to Nan. "I'm used to him being in the next room. Please come and get me if he starts to fuss."

  Hamilton handed his child to Nan then placed a firm hand at the small of Elizabeth's back. "I shall take you up now."

  Her steps lagged, and she was filled with dread as they climbed the elegant staircase to their assigned bedchamber.

  As soon as he closed the door, James said, "Undress for me."