Odd ends

2. Grandfather's farm

  My grandfather had a farm. On that farm he had only the smartest animals. Grandfather bought a cow and named it, "Moo." All day that cow went around telling anyone and everyone its name, saying repeatedly, "Moo."

  Grandfather bought a pig and named it "Oink." All day that pig went around saying "Oink," its name.

  Grandfather bought a donkey and named it "Hee Haw." All day that donkey went around saying its name "Hee Haw."

  Grandfather bought a chicken and a duck. He named the chicken "Pluck" and named the duck "Quack." All day those two went around saying "Pluck-pluck" and "Quake-quack," saying their names.

  All that changed when Grandfather bought a blue bird for a pet and named him "Ralph." And, that bird was the dumbest bird. All day it sat in its cage repeatedly saying only "Chirp-chirp," and never once did it say its name "Ralph."

  After days, months, and nearly a year of trying to teach that blue bird its own name grandfather gave up and traded his blue bird, cage, and a half bag of bird seed to his neighbor Clarence McElroy for a half a pick-up load of twisted post oak firewood.