Under the Lights

  We walked into the woods and toward the vehicles parked on the other side. I noticed the truck I’d seen Brady driving to school. He was apparently taking us there. The moonlight wasn’t very bright tonight, but it did illuminate the area some.

  “My truck’s there. We can go sit on the tailgate,” he said, nodding his head in that direction.

  “What about your date?” I asked him, remembering the girl I saw him at school with a lot and that he’d arrived with.

  He glanced back toward the clearing. “She’s drunk and dancing. Won’t know I’m missing.”

  “Oh,” I said, wondering about her. I hadn’t asked questions at school, but I’d overheard enough to know they were an item. “How long have y’all been dating?” I asked, wanting to get the subject on him immediately, far away from me.

  He pulled his tailgate down and motioned for me to hop up. I did, and he sat down beside me. “Not sure exactly. It’s been a casual thing for a few months.”

  Casual? “What does casual mean?”

  He gave me a crooked grin. “Do y’all not do casual in Arkansas?”

  We did, I guess, but what I had seen at school wasn’t what I thought of when I thought of casual. “I’m thinking we have two different ideas on what casual is.”

  “No. We have the same idea. It’s Ivy who is confused on the casual thing. She likes to make it more serious than it is.” The guilt that flashed in his eyes wasn’t hard to miss. He couldn’t hide that. I wondered if he even believed what he’d just said.

  I was expecting Ivy to come after us at any minute. Hopefully not swinging fists. I wasn’t drunk, and it wouldn’t be fair to her. After six months living in a facility with tough-ass chicks, I could hold my own. One ass kicking and I’d gotten smart. Made the right friends and learned how to fight. It was the only way to survive that world.

  “Have you explained casual to her?” I asked, taking a sip of water. I wanted to know if he’d actually tried to tell Ivy they were casual. Brady was a good guy. But this seemed to tarnish him some. Stringing Ivy along wasn’t exactly part of his persona.

  He chuckled and shook his head. “No point. She won’t listen.”

  “Then you must really like her.”

  “Why do you say that?” He frowned like my comment made no sense.

  I thought it made complete sense. But then most teenage boys were idiots when it came to females and relationships. At least, that’s been my experience.

  “Because you continue to keep her around. She can’t annoy you too bad.”

  He was silent a moment, then sighed. “Actually, she annoys the shit out of me. I’m just too nice to hurt her.”

  He clearly looked torn up about it, but that was a weak response. No girl in her right mind wanted to be pitied and kept because the guy didn’t like hurting people’s feelings. “If you don’t like her, stringing her along isn’t exactly nice either.”

  Brady turned to look at me, and I met his steady blue gaze. I’d always had a thing for his eyes. They were piercing. Once I imagined them looking at me with love, but that had been the fantasy of an eleven-year-old girl who didn’t realize what love was exactly. Or what love could do.

  “She’s got a bad home life. Stepmom is mean to her. Constantly stays on her about her body and appearance. She’s insecure.”

  So? This still didn’t mean he had to keep her around if he didn’t like her. “If you like her, then own up to it. If you don’t, let her go so she can feel free to find someone who does.”

  He again went silent for a few moments. I drank my water and looked up at the stars visible in the night sky. It was peaceful out here away from the party. I could forget my past and focus on the fact I’m alive. Even if it wasn’t fair and I didn’t deserve it. I was here. Breathing and able to see the moon as it lit the night sky. These were things I once didn’t think about or appreciate. I was too busy trying to find happiness in ways that only lead to bad things. Terrible things.

  “You’re right,” he finally said. I took my gaze from the moon and gave him my full attention.

  “Of course I am. I’m a girl. She’s a girl. I know how we should be treated. What we deserve. And what you deserve. Life is short. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow—as cliché as it sounds, it’s very true. I know.” I paused before I said more. I didn’t want to tell him the hard truths that proved I was right.

  He moved so quickly I didn’t have time to register what was happening until the warmth of his lips covered mine and his hand slipped into my hair. Then I was fully aware.

  Curiosity won the very mini brief conflict in my head. Brady was a friend, and I wasn’t anyone that someone could have a relationship with. I was damaged beyond repair. But I wanted to taste this. To give the little girl who had thought she loved Brady Higgens a glimpse at what it was like to be touched by him. Then the little girl could move on from that and live her life. My fantasy complete.

  His lips were soft but firm as they moved over mine. His fingers tangled in my hair like they wanted to be there. As if they had thought of this moment, and now they would relish it.

  I sank into him, craving his warmth and the feel of his skin on mine. Inhaling his scent. The cologne he wore was subtle but attractive. I was sure many girls had clung to him just to get near it. It wasn’t until his tongue slipped past my lips and into the heat of my mouth that I understood the repercussions of what I was allowing.

  Brady was here with another girl. He was my friend and could only ever be my friend because I could never be anything more to anyone. I had demons that haunted me and would my entire life. I had a family I wanted to win forgiveness from, and Nonna had said Brady was off limits. She was all I had left, and I couldn’t lose her, too.

  Placing both hands on his hard chest, I felt the ache of loss before I pushed away from him. My lips were instantly chilled by the evening air, and I wanted to touch them to hold the warmth there. But I didn’t. This was all the fantasy I could get from Brady Higgens.

  I stood up, and without a backward glance, I ran.

  Where’s Willa?

  CHAPTER 17

  GUNNER

  Willa was not here. I’d been gone back to the woods with Serena for about thirty minutes.

  Now I was back, however, I couldn’t find Willa. Dammit.

  “She left with Brady. Went into the woods,” Asa said, walking up to me. He sounded as annoyed as I felt.

  I started to ask which direction when I spotted Brady coming out of the woods. Alone.

  Not waiting for more information from Asa, I went to meet Brady before he got back into Ivy’s view and she sidled up to him again.

  He held a bottle of water in his right hand, so at least he hadn’t been drinking with her. Didn’t help the fact he was back and she wasn’t. He’d better not have left her in the woods.

  “Where’s Willa?” I asked with an angry bite in my voice.

  Brady turned his eyes to me, and I could see concern there. That calmed my anger down real fast and replaced it with my own worry.

  “She okay? Where is she?” I repeated, my voice verging on frantic.

  He shrugged and looked back to the woods. “She left. I tried to follow her but lost her. I was hoping she was back here.”

  He lost her? What the fuck!

  “How the hell did you lose her? Was she fucking running?”

  Brady didn’t respond, and my anger was back. Had she been running? From him? I stepped up until I was in his face. “What did you do?” I demanded as my hands balled into fists at my side.

  “We had a conversation. She disagreed with me. Then she took off.”

  He was lying. His stupid ass made a move on her. I could see it all over his face. “Liar. You fucking kissed her or tried to.”

  He didn’t respond, and I knew I’d guessed right.

  “Where’veyoubeen?” Ivy ran her words all together, slurring, and now clinging to Brady’s arm to hold her up.

  I didn’t have time for her shit eithe
r. “Which way did she run?” I demanded.

  He looked back at the woods. “She ran to the left from where I’m parked. I hoped she’d come back this way. I followed her trail. But she must have turned and headed for the main road instead.”

  Motherfucker!

  I took off running in that direction instead of bashing Brady’s face in. He was so damn calm about her being out there in the dark alone. What was he thinking?

  “I’ve got to get Ivy home,” he called out after me as if that was an explanation as to why he had let Willa run off alone. I didn’t reply.

  I just went after Willa. If she was on the road, I’d find her faster in my truck. Heading toward it, I kept my eyes open for her anywhere in the darkness of the parked vehicles, but there was nothing.

  This Place Will Turn on You without Question

  CHAPTER 18

  WILLA

  The red Mustang was fairly new, and the girl with long dark hair driving it seemed safe enough. At least I wasn’t going to have to walk the seven miles or so back to Nonna’s. Although I’d been ready to when the girl pulled up and asked me what I was doing walking in the dark on the deserted road.

  I’d told her that my ride was otherwise occupied at the field party. She’d asked me who my ride was, and when I said Gunner Lawton, she rolled her eyes, muttered, “Figures,” and offered to give me a lift to my house. She was about my age, but I hadn’t seen her at school.

  “Thanks,” I said as she pulled back onto the road after I got in.

  “No problem. It’s not exactly safe to be walking out at night. Where do you live?”

  “You know Gunner?” I asked.

  She made a grimace and nodded.

  “Do you know where his house is?”

  She glanced at me before looking back at the road. “Everyone knows where the Lawton mansion is.”

  “I live in the cottage to the back west corner.”

  She looked at me again. “You live in Ms. Ames’s house?”

  So she was from around here. I wondered if she went to my school and I’d somehow missed her. “That’s my grandmother.”

  A grin broke across her face. “Willa Ames has returned to Lawton.”

  And she knew my name.

  “You know who I am?” It was a valid question, but I was still surprised.

  She laughed. “I just moved back to town too. Although I’ve only been gone two years. I was here back then, when you, Gunner, and Brady were always together. Every girl in school wanted to be you. Two best friends like that. I was envious of you just like the rest of them. Even if we were just kids.”

  None of the other girls remembered me. I was surprised this one did. “I didn’t realize that.” I paused, then glanced back at her. “Thanks for the ride . . .” I left it hanging. Hoping she’d supply me with her name. It almost felt rude to ask.

  She grinned, and I felt comfortable with her. It was a smile that wasn’t fake but wasn’t complete, either. Much like my own.

  “Riley Young,” she finally said. “The town’s most hated citizen.”

  Hated? That was odd. She was my age and looked nice enough. “Why are you hated?” I asked her, wondering again why I hadn’t seen her at school if we’d gone to school together when we were younger.

  “No one wants the truth when it doesn’t suit. They prefer to weave lies and live in them. It’s the way of this place. God knows why I came back.”

  That wasn’t an answer. But it was true. I knew all about truths and the way they hurt too much. Lies made it easier on the living. So I’d suffered the lies told in order to cover the painful reality.

  “It’s not just that way in this town. It’s that way in life,” I replied.

  She swung her gaze back to me almost as if she was studying me. Surprised by my response. I wondered how many she’d said those same words to who disagreed or didn’t understand.

  “What brought you back, Willa Ames?” she said, adding my full name as if I were famous.

  “Lies that covered the truth,” I simply stated.

  “That’s a bitch, isn’t it?”

  I nodded. Because it was a bitch. A painful, life-altering bitch.

  “Gunner gonna go looking for you and worry over where you are?” Riley asked.

  I wasn’t sure. Possibly, and I felt guilty for that. Although I’d seen him drink a beer, and I wasn’t comfortable riding with someone who had been drinking. I was still on probation. I couldn’t mess up. That would definitely be messing up.

  “I don’t think so,” I said, hoping Brady had told him I’d left.

  Brady. My face felt hot as I thought about the kiss. I hadn’t been able to face him after that. I never wanted to face him again. I’d rather hide in my room and read and block out what I’d done or allowed myself to do.

  “Damn. I wanted the asshole to have something to worry about,” she said, sounding like she meant it. Apparently she wasn’t a fan of Gunner. I wondered if she was one of his many past females.

  “I take it you know him well.” I was being curious.

  She smirked, then shrugged. “Well enough. Better than I’d like. My life would be easier if I’d never had to return to this town.”

  Her tone was sad, and I wondered what had happened here. She was my ride home, though, not my new best friend. I wouldn’t push for more than she wanted to give me. I stayed silent, and we rode the short distance left to my nonna’s.

  When her car pulled to a stop outside, I thanked her and got out. Just before I walked inside, I heard her call my name. Stopping, I glanced back at her.

  “Be careful who you choose to trust. This place will turn on you without question.” Then she gave me a small smile that didn’t meet her eyes before rolling back up her window and driving away.

  She had been hurt here. That much was obvious.

  I Hated Riley Young

  CHAPTER 19

  GUNNER

  My hand tightened on the steering wheel as the red Mustang pulled out of the entrance to our estate. She wasn’t welcome here. The restraining order against her was enough for me to call the police. Why was she back? No one wanted her here.

  With a jerk of my wheel, I cut her escape off and slammed on my brakes. I didn’t think it through. I was angry. Seeing her here as if she had the right to drive on my land infuriated me. The lying bitch needed to take her ass back to wherever she ran off to. Lawton didn’t want her here.

  “Who the fuck do you think you are!” I roared as I stalked toward her car. The shiny red Mustang her mother had bought her to help ease the fact she’d lied about my brother.

  She stared at me as if she were bored and rolled down her window. The urge to bash her headlights with a baseball bat was strong.

  “I’m the girl who picked up a very lost, vulnerable Willa Ames walking home in the dark and got her to her grandmother’s safely. Not surprising her ride fucked that up.” She then backed up her car and drove around my truck without waiting on a response to her news.

  I didn’t like the idea that Willa had been in her car listening to her lies. However, I was a little relieved that Willa was safely home. Brady and I had both fucked that up. I wasn’t sure just yet what the hell had happened back at the field. But I was going to find out.

  “Go home,” I yelled at the red Mustang.

  Riley held her arm out the window and shot me a bird. Classy.

  I wanted to talk to Willa tonight, but I didn’t have her cell number and I couldn’t call Ms. Ames’s historic landline. I’d have to wait until tomorrow. At least I knew she was safely inside. I just didn’t like thinking about what crazy Riley Young could have possibly said to her.

  Riley was the biggest mistake of my life. God I wish she’d stayed gone.

  I climbed back in my truck, picked up my phone, and dialed Brady. He’d been looking for Willa too.