LC01 Sweet Starfire

  “I understand.”

  “I’m not talking about the kind of knowledge you’ve known before from books. I want to know you understand what this means.” He groaned deep in his chest. “Ah, hell, I can’t explain it and I can’t wait. Hold on to me, Cidra. Just hold on and whatever happens, don’t let go.”

  She obeyed, her hands on his shoulders as she felt him surge against her. The short, sharp pain took her by surprise, and she opened her mouth to cry out. But he covered her lips with his own, drinking the small, startled sound as he continued to push forward in a single, strong thrust. Only when he was embedded in her did he stop and give her a chance to adjust. She felt a shudder go through him as he fought to control himself.

  But Cidra wasn’t at all sure she could adjust. Her body had tensed instinctively at the moment he had entered her, and now, instead of the deliciously satisfying feeling she had been anticipating, she was aware only of feeling invaded.

  “Easy, sweetheart. Don’t fight it. Trust me. Can you trust me, Cidra? Give me a chance to show you what it’s supposed to be like.”

  Her tongue touched the edge of her parted lips. Her breath was coming in quick little gasps as she met his eyes. “I trust you.”

  He muttered something she couldn’t quite catch, nestling his head beside hers as he slowly, carefully, began to move within her.

  Cidra waited, unsure of what to expect next. But the too-tight sensation faded beneath a compelling rhythm that gradually became far more important than the initial discomfort. Slowly she began to echo the pattern Severance was establishing, lifting to meet his heavy thrusts. One of his hands slid down to cup her buttock.

  “That’s it, sweetheart. You feel so right. So perfect.”

  She tightened her arms around him as her body began to eagerly seek each new surging thrust. Each time he withdrew slightly, she sank her nails into his skin, pulling him back with a fierceness that seemed to deepen his desire. The driving strokes filled her until she thought she would burst.

  “Ah, Cidra, I can’t stop. I can’t wait.”

  She wasn’t certain what he meant, but she tried to reassure him, anyway. “Severance, it’s all right. It’s all right,” she whispered, unconsciously using the same words he had used earlier.

  “Cidra!” He drove deeply into her one last time, and his body shuddered heavily. There was an exultant shout caught somewhere in his throat, and then slowly he collapsed along the length of her.

  For a long time Cidra lay still beneath him, her palms tenderly stroking the damp skin of his back. She felt him recover his breath, felt his heartbeat return to normal, and then he slowly lifted his head to look down at her. In the shadows his gray eyes were dark and unreadable. He touched her mouth with his fingertip. She smiled tremulously. He didn’t respond. Instead he searched her face.

  “Are you all right?” he finally asked.

  “I think so.” Her smile widened. “What about you?”

  He bent his head and brushed her lips with his own. “I’m much better than all right. I feel normal again. Better than normal. I feel good. Very tired and very good. Because of you, Cidra.” He cradled her head in the curve of his arm. “Go to sleep, sweetheart. Next time I promise it will be better for you.”

  She stretched a little and nestled against him, inhaling the musky scent of his body. “I can’t imagine it being any better. I felt so close to you, Severance. I’ve never felt that close to another human being in my life. Maybe that’s why Wolves are so interested in sex.”

  He chuckled sleepily. “Maybe. I wish I could show you how really good it can be for you. Next time. I promise you that next time I won’t be so damned exhausted and so out of control.”

  “Go to sleep, Severance. It’s been a long day.”

  “You can say that again,” he said, the words fading as he closed his eyes and slipped into deep sleep almost at once.

  Cidra stayed curled in his arm, wondering why she wasn’t equally sleepy. For a long time she lay still, thinking of the jumble of emotions and physical sensations she had experienced during the day. They had all culminated tonight in Severance’s arms. His lovemaking had left her feeling dazzled and dazed. She wasn’t quite certain what to make of the experience. It had been, as she had anticipated, a very physical act, and yet there had been so much more. The feeling of oneness, the sense of closeness, had been totally unexpected, and it added a whole new dimension.

  Dreamily she listened to the usual cacophony of night sounds from the jungle. A curious lethargy stole over her, but she was no nearer sleep than she had been earlier. It wasn’t Severance who was keeping her awake now. In the darkness she could make out the hard lines of his face. They didn’t appear any softer in repose than they did when he was awake. Cidra wondered what he would say to her in the morning. And then she occupied several long minutes wondering what she would say to him.

  The first words after a night like this ought to be significant, she thought. But she wasn’t sure in what way. The knowledge that their relationship had been fundamentally altered was vaguely disturbing. It had been easier when she had been able to consider herself simply a temporary member of his crew. Now she wasn’t sure what category she fit into.

  The night sounds didn’t seem as harsh tonight. After a while Cidra realized that she wasn’t hearing very many of the usual chopped-off screams. That was a relief. It made one think of what this planet might have been like if it hadn’t evolved along such violent lines. It might have had some truly beautiful places in it, places that offered a green and welcoming tranquility. Places where even a Harmonic might feel at home.

  There were such places here, Cidra thought with sudden certainty. And they weren’t far away. The jungle outside wasn’t as dangerous as it seemed. A person simply had to understand it. Humans were always struggling to subdue it, and, of course, the jungle had to fight back. But if a woman simply walked into it looking for the tranquil places, she would find them. They were so close.

  Slowly Cidra slipped away from the shelter of Severance’s arm. He didn’t stir. She sat up, listening. The night noises were definitely quieter and less threatening this evening. The twin moons would be shining, illuminating a path through the thick foliage. It would be an easy matter to follow that path to the gentle, tranquil spaces hidden in the jungle.

  Her compulsion to follow the moonlit path grew. Moonlight and Mirrors. She knew how to chase moonlight in mirrors. The jungles of Renaissance were open to her. All she had to do was walk into them.

  Cidra got up and pulled on her trousers. Then she reached for her shirt. She found her boots near the tent entrance. When she had them on, she opened the iris closure and stepped out into the night.

  She had been right. The twin moons were shining very brilliantly tonight, revealing a path through the jungle. Borgia and Medici weren’t their true names, she decided. They had once been called by other names, names that she couldn’t quite say. The words were strange in her head. Without any hesitation Cidra turned toward the path.

  Severance came awake with the startling certainty that something was wrong. He turned on his side and realized that Cidra’s warm weight was no longer pinning his arm.

  “Cidra?”

  When there was no response, a flare of panic reared up within him. He got to his feet. She was not in her own sleeper.

  “Cidra!” Memories of her in his arms flooded his mind. And along with those memories came others. She wanted to be a Harmonic more than she wanted anything else. After tonight she would feel farther than ever from her goal. How would she react to that? He felt slightly sick as he reached for his boots. Surely she wouldn’t do anything rash just because she had been forced to face the fact that she was a true Wolf. It had hardly been rape, for Harmony’s sake. He’d seen the passion in her eyes, felt the throbbing, moist warmth between her legs. She had clung to him with a woman’s stirring need.

  But what if she hadn’t been able to accept her own desires afterward? Severance thought wildly
. He ignored the rest of his clothes and activated the tent opening with a savage twist of his hand. An instant later he was outside.

  He saw her almost at once and breathed a sigh of relief. Then he realized that she was on the other side of the deflector screens, heading into the wall of vegetation.

  “Cidra! Come back here. What in a renegade’s hell do you think you’re doing?” Severance raced through the screens reaching for Cidra as she started into the mass of night-darkened greenery surrounding the campsite. He caught her shoulder and spun her around.

  “Severance?” She smiled, but she didn’t seem to be quite focusing on him. She waved her hand gracefully at the jungle. “Isn’t it beautiful tonight? I never realized how beautiful it was.”

  “What’s the matter with you? Are you out of your mind? If you think I’m going to let you walk into that green hell just because you finally discovered sex, you’re dumber than a novakeet.” He yanked her back toward the safety of the screens.

  “But, Severance, it’s not a green hell. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

  “You’re dreaming on your feet. Why didn’t you ever tell me you walk in your sleep?”

  “I don’t walk in my sleep. Severance, there’s no need to hide behind the screens anymore.”

  He ignored that, pulling her through the invisible safety net. There he turned to confront her. The moonlight seemed to shine in her eyes as she looked up at him. Something was wrong, and he couldn’t figure out what it was. He tried shaking her gently. She blinked and some of the moonlight seemed to fade from her gaze. He got the impression that she was starting to really see him. He clasped her shoulders firmly and tried another small shake.

  “Cidra, listen to me. I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you do anything stupid because of what happened tonight. You’re coming back into that tent with me. In the morning everything will be all right. You’ll see.”

  She frowned slightly, almost thoughtfully. “I’d rather not go back into the tent with you, Severance.”

  “You haven’t got any choice, damn it!” He picked her up and carried her back to the opening. He stepped through and set her down on his sleeper. Methodically, he began stripping off her clothing.

  “Severance, listen to me.”

  “Why? So that you can give me some illogical reason for trying to commit suicide?”

  She seemed genuinely shocked. “I wasn’t trying to commit suicide.”

  “You’re upset because of what happened between us.” He tugged off her boots. “I can understand that. First time around, sex is a little upsetting. Like everything else, it improves with practice. I know I wasn’t the greatest lover between here and QED tonight, but I’d had a tough day. That’s no excuse for you to start thinking in terms of death before dishonor. I didn’t rape you, Cidra”

  “I know that,” she said gently.

  He sat on the edge of the sleeper and yanked off his own boots. “Furthermore, you liked it. Or at least you liked most of it.” He bore her back down onto the sleeper, sprawling across her so that her legs were pinned beneath him. “This time around I’ll see to it that you like all of it. I swear it.”

  Before she could protest, he sealed her mouth with his own. Beneath him he felt her stir, and the movement of her naked body began the chain reaction that led to the hardening in his groin. Severance forced himself to stay under control. He was going to make it right for her. If he satisfied her completely, maybe she would be able to accept her normal passions. She had to accept them. Damned if he would let her kill herself because he’d made love to her.

  Clamping down on his rioting reactions, Severance deliberately began to stroke and coax the response he wanted from Cidra. After a brief struggle that seemed to stem more from her surprise and confusion than any real desire to fight him, she stopped resisting. Her arms went around his neck, and he knew a vast sense of relief. It was going to be all right this time. He could make her want him.

  “Say it, Cidra. Say you want me.” He probed between her legs, finding the nubbin of exquisitely sensitive female flesh. He flicked lightly with his fingers and felt her react almost at once. “Say it, sweetheart.”

  “I want you,” she whispered, arching against his hand.

  He kept up the light teasing between her thighs while he lowered his head to draw first one nipple and then the other into his mouth. She shivered in his hold, and another wave of satisfaction went through him. Relentlessly he kept up the tender assault, even after she was trembling under his hands. She responded to him the way a flower responded to sunlight, opening herself and welcoming him.

  “Severance. Please. I can’t stand any more.” Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut, her head arched back over his arm.

  But he didn’t stop, and he didn’t move to cover her. This time he would make sure everything went right. Slowly he began working his way down her body, tasting her with his tongue, nibbling at her until she cried out for more. All the while he kept his fingers moving on her and in her. She twisted and writhed in his hands, and he gloried in it.

  When he dropped an intimate kiss into the triangle of hair at the apex of her thighs, she cried out again and clutched at his shoulders.

  “That’s it, sweetheart. That’s it.”

  The scent of her was dark and spicy, the essence of her femininity. Severance thought it would surely drive him over the edge. Still he maintained his self-control. He touched the nubbin with his tongue and felt Cidra’s whole body tighten convulsively.

  Deliberately he deepened the passionate caress. The little cries in her throat were the most beautiful songs he had ever heard. He felt her nails digging into his shoulders and knew another lightning jolt of satisfaction.

  “Severance!”

  “Let go, Cidra, just let go!” He parted the pliant opening with his fingers, and she whispered his name again. He loved the tight, husky, aching way she said it. He slid two fingers gently into her, his tongue still curling around the bud of throbbing flesh.

  She tensed again, breathed his name again, and this time a thousand tiny shivers flooded her body.

  “Severance. Sweet Harmony, Severance!”

  “That’s the way I want to hear my name.” Intoxicated with the knowledge that he’d brought her complete satisfaction, half spaced with his own anticipation, he flowed back up along her body and slipped between her legs. He drove into her before the tiny convulsions had ceased. The last of them pulled him deeply into her. A moment later it was Cidra’s name that was filling the tent and his body that was shuddering in completion. And then he went still on top of her.

  When he finally came back to his senses, he was aware of Cidra’s fingers moving languidly in his hair. Severance decided he liked it. He moved his head a little closer.

  “I wasn’t trying to kill myself, Severance.”

  “You were upset. Scared, maybe.”

  “Scared of what?” she asked.

  “Scared of what’s happening to you. To us.”

  She appeared to give that some thought. “It’s confusing, but I don’t feel really frightened.”

  “Good. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

  “I’m wide-awake,” she told him. “I wouldn’t mind discussing it now.”

  He opened his eyes and found that his line of focus took in the peaks of her breasts. It was a pleasant view. “You need the sleep, Cidra. And so do I. We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

  “I feel strange, Severance.”

  “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

  “I don’t feel bad,” she emphasized. “Just strange.”

  “I’m sure it’s a normal reaction.”

  “I don’t know,” She sounded genuinely puzzled. “I also feel a little sore.”

  He winced guiltily. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. You’ll feel better in the morning. And next time you won’t feel sore afterward.”

  She yawned. “You sound very sure of every
thing.”

  “I’m the pilot in command, remember? I’m supposed to sound sure of everything.” He lifted himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. “Cidra?”

  “Hmmm?”

  “You swear you weren’t thinking of doing anything rash because of what happened tonight?”

  “Why would I want to kill myself after enjoying such pleasure?”

  He smiled and kissed her. “That’s the true Wolf outlook.”

  “You know what the best part is, Severance?”

  “What?”

  “Feeing so close to you. It’s very nice.”

  “Very,” he agreed.

  As he drifted back into sleep Severance decided that Renaissance wasn’t such a bad place to stake his claim on Cidra. He hadn’t intended to rush things. He had wanted the right time and the right background. During those two weeks on board Severance Pay he had fantasized more than once about the perfect setting. In his mind he had constructed a picture that included good ether wine, Harmonic music in the background, a wide, lush bed, and all the time in the world.

  Here in the middle of a Renaissance jungle he’d had none of those props, but it didn’t seem to matter. There was something primitive and new about the jungle, and it fit in well with the way he felt about Cidra. The more he thought about it, the more appropriate the setting became. She had been right earlier when she had tried to tell him that the jungle wasn’t really a green hell. It was an exotic, exciting, primitive world, not a hell.

  A man could survive in the jungle without deflector screens and crispers, Severance decided. Hadn’t he survived today? There were places in the jungle that were soft, green refuges. In such places he could make love to Cidra beneath twin moons with strange names all night long. It would be good to see her soft, slender body bathed in moonlight. He fell asleep with that last image in his mind.

  When he awoke again, he knew it was nearly dawn. Lazily he turned, feeling for Cidra. Then he sat up with a jerk. She was gone again. This time Severance didn’t feel the rush of fear he had felt the last time he had awakened and found her gone. She hadn’t had time to get far, he thought as he pulled on his clothing. And she would be safe enough. The jungle was safe for her. And for him.