With the King at Oxford: A Tale of the Great Rebellion

  CHAPTER V.

  OF THINGS AT OXFORD.

  'Twas a stirring time at Oxford when I first began my residence in theUniversity. The King had there his headquarters, and there was scarcea day but messengers came bearing news, good or bad, of the war thatwas being carried forward in every part of England. Also a Parliamentsat--I speak now of the first year of my residence, that is to sayfrom October, 1643, to the same month of the year following--at whichwere present some hundred and fifty, reckoning both Commoners andPeers. But of these matters I shall say more hereafter; at the presentI will speak rather of things concerning my own College.

  Lincoln College is a fair building, of an honourable antiquity, therebeing six Colleges only that are older than it and ten that are ofnewer date, but it has only a poor estate, its first founder havingdied before he could fulfil his purpose, and other benefactors, forsuch have not been wanting to us, not wholly making good his unwillingdefect. Its chief ornament is the chapel, which is in the Gothic style(a style, in my judgment, much to be preferred to the Italian noveltywhich many in these days prefer), fairly lined with cedar, andillustrated with windows most handsomely painted. These windows werebrought from Italy at the instance of the builder, Dr. Williams,sometime Bishop of Lincoln and Lord Keeper, whose liberality in thismatter is the more to be commended because he is not even of thisUniversity, but visitor only of the College in right of his bishopric.My chamber was under the roof at the top of the chapel staircase, andhad a fair prospect of the church of All Saints, which, in a sort,belongs to the College, and of that part of the town which lies towardthe river.

  On the first day of November, being All Saints' Day, we--that is tosay, all the members of the College then residing, from the Rector tothe Clerks--walked in solemn procession to this church, where prayerswere said, and a sermon preached by Master Richard Chalfont, theSub-Rector, the Rector, to whom the duty of this discourse moreproperly belongs, pleading inability by reason of illness; but 'tisthought that 'twas an excuse rather than a reason, and that, being aprudent man, as was most abundantly proved by his keeping hispreferment through all the changes of the times, he chose rather to besilent in so critical a juncture of affairs. We looked for a discourseon political matters from Master Chalfont, who was very hot for theKing; but he preached on no such subject, but on the pleasures whichshall be enjoyed in heaven. Some thought the theme ill-chosen, butothers, to whose opinion I incline, greatly commended this choice,saying that of politics we hear enough, and more than enough, in themarket-place, and that higher things are more befitting the sanctuary.'Twas a most academical discourse. I remember he told us that weshould there, among other good things, find repaired all damages thattime or accident has made in the remains of antiquity, reading, forexample, the comedies of Eupolis, a contemporary, but elder, ofAristophanes, which have been most lamentably lost, and such books ofLivy and Tacitus as are wanting to the manuscripts, and solving alsoproblems of geometry and algebra which are beyond our present skill. Ithought that many of the auditors listened to these prognosticationswith blank faces, as thinking, doubtless, that they had here uponearth more than a sufficiency of such things.

  The day was kept as a high day in the College, provision beyond theordinary being made both for dinner and supper in the hall. There wasno lack of jollity, though I heard some complain, in a doubtfulmanner, of the change which had been wrought since the last Gaudy (forsuch is the name, being short for _gaudeamus_, which they give tothis festivity) was held. Then there had been a goodly show of plate,none drinking save out of silver; but this was now all gone, beingmelted down for the pay of his Majesty's soldiers, and our cups wereof earthenware.

  On Shrove Tuesday, which, in the year 1644 (to which I am now come),fell on the second day of March, there was held what, if I may borrowa word from a venerable custom of antiquity, may be styled theinitiation of the Freshmen. The fire in the hall was made earlier thanordinary; the Fellows also went to supper before six, and made an endsooner than at other times, so leaving the hall to the liberty of theundergraduates, but not without an admonitory hint given by theSub-Rector, as having charge of the discipline of the College that allthings should be carried on in good order. While they were at supperin the hall, the cook was making hot caudle at the charge of theFreshmen, who, I should have said, are all that have come into theUniversity since the Shrove Tuesday last before. (Caudle, I shouldsay, for the sake of those that are not learned in such matters, is adrink made of oatmeal flour, mixed in water, with sherry wine.) Thisbeing ready, and all the undergraduates and servants being assembledin the hall, each Freshman, in his turn, according to his seniority,was constrained to make a speech, but not without preparation, fornotice was given that it would be required of him on Candlemas Day.First, he plucked off his gown and bands, and made himself look aslike a low fellow as he could; some, I must needs confess, acquittingthemselves in this respect with much success. This done, he made hisspeech, being placed on a form, which was set on the high table,touching with such wit as he was master of on the persons andcharacters of his brother Freshmen and on the servants of the College,the latter more especially, being a game at which the very feeblesthawks could fly. If he did well, speaking in an audible voice, andwith a good fluency of words and passable matter, there was given hima cup of caudle, and no salted drink; if he did indifferently, neitherill nor well, some caudle and some salted drink; but if he was dull,or halted in his speech, then he had nothing but salted drink; that isto say, beer, with salt therein, and tucks[1] to boot. This done, thesenior cook administered to him an oath, which began thus: "Item tujurabis, quod _penniless bench_ non visitabis," but the rest I forget.As for "penniless bench," 'tis a seat by St. Martin's Church (which iscalled also Carfax), where the hucksters and butter-women sit. Thisoath each Freshman took over an old shoe, which when he had kissedwith due solemnity, he put on again his gown and bands, and was dulyadmitted into the worshipful company of seniors. This was doubtlessbut foolish work, though I doubt me much whether now, when we are sofar wiser that all such festivities are forbidden, we be much better.I trust, at the least, that none will think the worse of me if I boastthat I did my fooling so graciously that the cup that was given to mewas of caudle only, and no admixture of salt.

  [1] A "tuck" was a pinch, given with finger and thumb under the lip, and sometimes drawing blood.

  Such sportiveness is to be looked for in the young; and, indeed, didtheir gay temper and light heart lead them no further than into suchdiversions, there were small cause for blame; it may be alleged also,there was something academical, though turned to purposes of mirth, inthese our enforced disputings. So much may not be said of all thesports to which the younger sort were addicted. Some were given to thefighting of cocks, a barbarous thing in my judgment, though longcustom has appropriated it to the last day before Lent, so that somewould think the world itself shaken in its foundations were thisabsent; but, be it good or bad, 'twill be acknowledged that 'tis not aseemly thing for the quadrangle of a College, where I have seen itpractised, and that not once or twice only. The baiting of badgersalso with terrier dogs was much followed. As for hunting the fox, itwas interrupted by the war; for who could follow the chase when he waslike to find the King's men in one village and the Parliament'ssoldiers in the next? So the war brought peace, I may say, to thefoxes; but the hares and partridges had little rest, for the disturbedtimes gave excuse to many for carrying fire-arms, which they coulduse, as occasion served, for their own purposes. But who could knowwhether a musket were loaded with a bullet that might kill a man, orwith small shot that might bring down a beast or a bird? And if 'twasa bullet that it bore, what was to hinder it being used against a fathart or a roebuck? The keepers of game had, I take it, an ill time inthese days; indeed, their occupation was in many places wholly givenup. And if such abuses have commonly been found among the scholars ofthe University, now they prevailed tenfold more. But of this more inits proper place.

  But what shall be said of the se
niors, the Masters of Arts. Before Icame to Oxford I had thought, in my simplicity, that these were allgrave and reverend persons, given to books and study, that, as our newpoet, Master John Milton, has it, did "out watch the Bear;" but I soonlearnt to think otherwise; and here I will take leave to tell a truetale, from which may be seen how some of these reverend seniors diddemean themselves. But that there were grave and pious men even in theworst times I shall not deny.

  There was in the College a certain Master of Arts, by name ThomasSmith, a violent person, who had been admonished and punished fordiverse offences and disorders, of which it was counted not the leastheinous that he kept dogs in his chamber, and would neither removethem nor himself when warned by the Rector so to do. Master Smith hada quarrel, in which private enmity was doubtless aggravated by publicdifferences, with another Master of Arts, also dwelling in theCollege, by name Nicholas North, and a minister. They had had diversefallings out in time past, but the gravest of all, by reason of whichMaster Smith came near to being expelled from the College (anddoubtless had been so but for the favour of some Fellows that were ofhis way of thinking in matters of Church and State), was this. It willbe best told in their own words, as I afterwards found it writtendown; and first for Master North's account:

  "On Monday night, immediately after I had supped in the buttery, goingin the new quadrangle, I heard a door shut, and thinking it had beenmine, said to him that came forth, 'Who is there?' Master Smithanswered, 'Who are you that examine me?' I replied, 'I do not examineyou.' He said, 'You are a base rogue for examining me.' When I heardhim say so, fearing he would fall upon me, I hasted with all the speedI could to my chamber; but, as I opened the door, Master Smith caughthold of my gown and said, 'Sirrah! Come out; you are a base rogue forexamining me!' Said I, 'You cannot prove me such. I pray you let mego; I have nought to say to you.' 'Ay,' said he, 'but I have somethingto say to you;' and taking me by the ear and hair of the head with onehand, he plucked out a cudgel that was under his gown, and making intothe chamber upon me, struck me with the cudgel upon the head. Aboutthe third blow it broke in two. After that he struck me half-a-dozenblows with that piece he had in his hand, and when I wrested this outof his hand he laid me about the face with his fist. There being twoin my chamber, I asked them whether they were not ashamed to see mebeaten in my own chamber, and would not call company to take him off.After a while came Master Chalfont[2] running in and took him off fromme, and three several times did Master Smith call me 'base rogue' andrun in upon me, and was taken off three times by Master Chalfont; andwhen I entreated him to go out of my chamber he called me a base,inferior rogue, and would not go out till he had every piece of hisstick."

  [2] This Richard Chalfont was expelled in the year 1648. He was minister to the company of English Merchants in Rotterdam.

  Now for Master Smith's story:

  "Coming out of my chamber on Monday night, about seven of the clock, Imet Master North coming forth from his chamber. He said, 'What areyou, sir?' I answered, 'What is that to you?' He drew me to hischamber door. I asked him why he used me so. He said that I had takensomething out of his chamber. I told him that he was an unworthy man,and I would make him know himself; and Master North being within hischamber, dared me to fall on him, saying 'Strike me if thou durst!'Then I perceived a bed-staff in his gown sleeve, he holding the littleend in his hand and the great end downwards. Thereupon, having a stickin my hand, I struck at him, and hitting him on the top of the head,broke the stick in pieces."

  Here Master Smith was questioned how he came to have a stick, which itis against rule and custom to carry. He said, "I was newly come out oftown from the company of some friends, and by the way was jostled fromthe walk by two scholars, and having shortly to return, not knowingwhether I might be abused again, took the stick under my gown."

  Further, in answer to Master North, he said, "I do not absolutely knowwhether I did after strike him in his chamber, but might have so done,partly by heat of passion and ill-language that was given me, andpartly defending myself."

  There was no small discussion about this matter, but in the end MasterSmith was commanded to pay ten pounds to Master North for the wrongdone to him (of which sum Master North was persuaded to abate a thirdpart), and to make a public submission and acknowledgment in thechapel in the face of all the society assembled. And these two thingshe did.

  Such were the manners of the time, and afterwards, as will be seen,they grew worse rather than better.