Branded

  I was knocking on the door before I had even allowed myself to make the decision to walk out of my own. I opened the door when I heard a muffled invitation from within.

  My eyes swept the darkened room as I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. Alex was already in his bed, watching me where I stood.

  It was a strange moment as we both simply stared at each other through the dark. I saw the same emotions playing across his face that ran though my own head.

  Uncertainty, nervousness, longing, confusion, hope.

  “Would I be terribly out of place if I didn’t want to be alone tonight? If I asked if I could stay with you?” I finally whispered, not entirely ready to break that strange silence.

  “Not at all,” he whispered back as he slid over under the covers.

  Surprisingly I didn’t shake with nervousness as I crossed the room. I knew I was being very uncharacteristically presumptuous here. A very big part of me knew exactly what I wanted and needed in this moment though.

  He pulled the covers down for me and I slid in beside him, not sure if I was glad or not he had a bigger bed than I did, if I was being honest with myself. He extended an arm and I snuggled myself into it without hesitation. My heart gave a strange little sputter as I couldn’t help but notice he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Even in the darkness it was easy to make out the chiseled chest muscles and perfectly shaped abs.

  I felt myself relax more than I had since he left as the scent of him flooded through me. It felt like I had finally found home.

  “I have to warn you,” I whispered. “I will probably fall asleep. You really can tell me to leave. I won’t blame you.”

  He said nothing as he nuzzled his face into my hair, his hand coming up to stroke the side of my face, trailing across my eyelids. “Please don’t leave.”

  I took a deep breath again, letting his comforting scent fill my senses. He continued to stroke the side of my face for a moment but soon his hand came to rest on the side of my neck, his fingers dangerously close to my scar, and his breathing turned slow and even.

  As I fought off sleep, a few deeply important thoughts occurred to me, perhaps life changing realizations. Cole’s feelings were becoming quite clear over the last few days and he obviously wasn’t going to waste any time in trying to get what he wanted. I couldn’t deny the attraction I felt to him but that was something I was quite sure every woman who laid eyes on him felt. I also couldn’t ignore the warning bells that went off in my body every time he was near me. Cole was something I was going to have to address quickly. He wasn’t the one I wanted.

  If I ever were to believe that angels were as books and movies depicted, I knew that I lay in the arms of one now.

  He may not be perfect; he was a bit presumptuous and knew basically no boundaries. His face may not have been as flawless as Cole’s but in my eyes that made him all the more wonderful. He was so human and real. And the most wonderful fact of all: he seemed to be able to handle the bizarreness that was my reality. I hadn’t scared him away and while he hadn’t exactly come out and said it, he didn’t seem to think I was completely crazy.

  The third, final, and most important realization: I wasn’t falling in love with Alex Wright. I was already there.

  I bolted upright as the screams erupted from my lips.

  Confusion immediately flooded my thoughts when I realized I wasn’t in my room. The emotion deepened when I realized it was getting light outside. I never woke from my nightmares as it was getting light unless I fell asleep during the day. My bleary eyes found a clock and I was stunned to see that it was nearly seven. As I remembered where I was and what had happened the night before I was shocked to realize I had slept for nearly five hours. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept that long.

  All these thoughts raced through my head with a dull throb that didn’t recede as I stifled the screams. But of course I had woken Alex. His eyes looked wide and alarmed as he jerked awake. As soon as he looked upon my shamed face his expression calmed and became soft.

  I couldn’t hold his gaze for long as I sat with my legs hanging off the edge of the bed. I felt so ashamed of who I was. I was so abnormal. Normal people didn’t have such tormenting dreams. Normal people didn’t wake every time screaming.

  I heard him shifting in the bed and a moment later felt his fingers trace softly up my arm. They drifted across my shoulder, brushing my hair slowly over my other shoulder.

  My heart pounded and every nerve screamed at me to make him stop. It was natural for me to never, ever let anyone see my scars. But there was such a deep part of me what wanted him to see them, for him to know every part and detail of me. I wanted him to know the true and whole me.

  I listened intently for his reaction as the branded X

  came into full view. There was no sharp intake of breath, no hiss of disgust, nothing to indicate that it revolted or disgusted him. His fingers traced the pattern slowly, leaving it feeling pleasantly warm and tingly. Goosebumps rushed to cover my skin.

  After lingering on the X for a while, his fingers slowly drifted down toward the tip of the raised wings, just barely visible under the top I wore.

  Heat rushed to my cheeks as I brought my hands to the hem of my tank top; though I was overwhelmingly grateful I had left my bra on last night, and pulled it over my head.

  Alex could now see every detail of the wings imprinted there and I knew with the light that was coming through the window now he would be able to catch glimpses of that strange metallic glint in them.

  Again his fingers traced over the feathered patterns, slowly trailing from the tops to the very tips of the wings at the bottom. I suppressed a shiver of pleasure, nervous anticipation, and uncertainty.

  “They are beautiful,” he breathed.

  I rested my chin on my shoulder, not quite fully looking at his face. “They don’t disgust you?” I whispered, my voice shaking obviously.

  He rested one hand on my other shoulder and the other on my arm and leaned forward, gently pressing his lips into the center of the brand.

  “Nothing about you could disgust me,” he whispered against my neck.

  I finally turned around and faced him, getting the first full look of his face. His impossibly blue eyes burned with an intensity and sincerity that sent my heart fluttering in an almost painful way.

  “Alex, I…” I hesitated as I looked down for a moment at my hands where they sat in my lap. “I want you to know everything about me, about the truth of my life but I’m afraid. I’m afraid it will scare you and make you run from me.”

  Alex placed his hand under my chin, lifting it until I had to look him back in the eye again. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the moment I first saw you in the stair well with that bat. I just about went crazy those few days I was gone. And it drove me nearly mad when I kept missing you on the phone. All of these intense feelings got so much worse after you told me the truth about what was going on. I’m not going anywhere and I plan on being around as long as you can stand me.”

  As he spoke these last words I couldn’t hold myself back any longer. I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around his neck as my lips found his. Alex’s arms wrapped tightly around my waist as he half pulled me back and half fell back onto the bed.

  My pulse raced and my breathing became ragged as the kiss deepened and our lips parted. His hands again traced the raised skin on my back, caressing and touching in a way that was almost overwhelming with its acceptance and need.

  My kissing experience was pathetically limited but I knew that I could have kissed dozens of men in my life and never felt the passion I did in kissing Alex. I felt as if a match had been lit to my blood that had been suddenly turned into lighter fluid. Even as I breathed in his already familiar scent I felt as if I could not get near close enough.

  As if I could never get enough of him to satisfy my need and burning desire. And yet at the same time it felt like the most natural thing in the world, as if his lips and b
ody had been made to fit against mine and mine to his.

  After a few heated minutes Alex pulled away, his eyes holding mine in a wonderfully burning gaze, as if there was so much more he wanted to do yet knew he couldn’t. He wasn’t alone in those thoughts.

  We lay on our sides, Alex lightly trailing his fingers along my arm. Our breathing slowly returned to normal and the heat rush that filled my body slowly ebbed back toward normal.

  “How is it possible to have such strong feelings,” I whispered as I stared softly into his content looking face.

  “When I’ve only known you for such a short time?”

  “I always used to think love at first sight was such a ridiculous idea,” he breathed. “And while I can’t say that I totally believe in it now, I realize love can develop much, much more quickly than I ever thought possible.” I couldn’t suppress the smile that spread on my lips as I leaned toward him just slightly and pressed my lips lightly to his. When I pulled away the same smile was reflected on his own face but his eyes held a new emotion. Was that curiosity now?

  “Tell me more about it,” he asked softly as he played with the bracelet he had given me. I still had yet to take it off for longer than it took me to shower. “I want to understand better what it is that happens. You didn’t tell me much detail before.”

  I bit my lip as I stared hard into his face, hesitating for too long. “Are you sure? It is going to sound completely crazy.”

  “Please,” he whispered, his eyes sincere. “I want to understand.”

  I hesitated for a long moment again. I reminded myself though that I had basically declared to him my feelings. Wasn’t he worth the risk of telling the truth?

  Yes. Yes he was.

  It was difficult to decide where exactly to start, what aspect of this messed up life to try and explain. I decided to start with what seemed the most simple to explain, just exactly what happened in my dreams. I told him of how Adam, with those strange grey eyes, would take me to the narrow catwalk. I explained how each of the council members was devastatingly beautiful yet I could never seem to remember the detail of their faces when I woke. It was difficult to describe the terror I felt as I stood there, listening to the demented laughter as sentencing would be given and how my blood pounded painfully through my system as the brand was raised to be pressed into the back of my neck. I finally ended with how I was always graciously saved as I would fall off the catwalk and slip back into the darkness. I decided it was best to leave out the details of how everything seemed to be changing concerning the nightmares.

  There was silence for a few moments after I finished.

  I knew I couldn’t tell him any more this morning, it was too overwhelming. It had been difficult enough to say what I already had. It went against the nature I had built up in myself my entire life.

  I caught a glimpse at the clock sitting on his nightstand and jumped to my feet.

  “Oh crap,” I hissed as I grabbed my tank from off the floor. “I have to go.”

  “Where?” Alex questioned as he sat up in the bed, his voice hinting just a fraction of alarm.

  “I’ve started this class this week. That’s where I met Emily,” I said as I raced into my bedroom, Alex following me. I went into my closet, pulling on the first comfortable looking clothes I found. Alex graciously kept where he couldn’t see me. “Under normal circumstances I would probably skip it today, considering what happened last night, but I really need to talk to her.”

  I stepped out of the closet and started pulling on some socks. “She knows something about my nightmares. She has the same scars I do.”

  “What?” Alex gaped. “How?”

  “I don’t know,” I said as I stood, heading out back into my tiny kitchen. “We were supposed to talk last night and then I found Sal. So I really need to talk to her today.” Alex didn’t seem to know what to say as he nodded his head.

  I grabbed my purse and headed out the door and up the stairs, Alex still trailing behind me. I found my keys on the kitchen table, just where Emily said she would leave them.

  “I’m going to see how Sal is doing when I’m done,” I said as I rested my hand on the door knob leading out into the garage. “I’ll call you from the hospital.”

  “If you can let me know when you’re done with Emily, I’ll go to the hospital with you if you want.” A small smile spread on my lips again. “Thanks,” I said as I leaned toward him and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. He smiled back. He covered my hand with his and opened the door for me. I smiled back again before going down the stairs to my car.

  I stopped in my tracks, just two steps from what I thought was my car. But surely the glossy, very tough and fast looking beast before me couldn’t be my rusty GTO.

  “I thought it would be a shame if it never got restored to its full glory.” I could hear the smile on his face as Alex came to stand beside me.

  “Alex,” I breathed as I continued to stare at the flawless new black paint job. “It looks amazing. I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

  “You’re very welcome,” he said as he pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. “Now, I believe you were running late?”

  “Right,” I said as I snapped out of my shock. “I’ll call you when I’m done with Emily,” I called as I slid into the driver’s seat. He waved once as I pulled out, and I could clearly see the goose bumps that were spread across his arms and still gloriously bare chest.

  It baffled my mind and I still couldn’t allow myself to fully comprehend that this nearly perfect man could be mine.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  I walked into the studio just as everyone had finished their breathing exercises. Emily barely glanced up at me as she moved into down dog but Cole stopped and stared for a few long moments before moving into the position. I tried to draw as little attention as possible and quickly slipped my shoes off and joined the small group.

  It was difficult to concentrate on the session, much less let myself really get into the breathing and stretches as I tried to figure out what I was going to say to Emily, which of the million questions to ask first. I was coming up blank and was feeling slightly panicky.

  The session passed all too quickly of course and seemed to speed by in a quarter of the time it should have taken. I knew I was stalling as I took far more time than necessary to roll my mat perfectly on the floor.

  “How are you, Jessica?” I glanced up when I heard the perfectly smooth voice from above me.

  I stood, fumbling with the mat. Cole stood only a foot away, just slightly too close for comfort. I took a slight step backward. “I’m okay,” I stuttered. “It was a long night.”

  “I’m sure,” he said, his eyes boring into my own. I found it difficult to find the will to look away, despite the feeling of recoil spreading through my entire body. “I wanted to invite you to come over tonight, maybe watch a movie or something. I thought you could use a little break from everything.”

  “Um…” I scrambled to know what to answer. “I’m not really sure what I have going on today. We’ll see how things pan out, you know, considering what happened yesterday. I’ll have to call you later and let you know.” Within those infinitely deep and captivating eyes I caught that glimpse of Mr. Hyde. A flash of irritation and perhaps impatience. This time however he did not work to swiftly change it to that perfect smile and gentle expression.

  He simply slipped into a neutral look. “Let me know then,” he said as he pulled a piece of paper out of his jacket, quickly scribbling something on it. As I reached out for it he maneuvered himself and wrapped his arms around me.

  “Things will work out the way they should, trust me,” he whispered.

  I couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran down my back nor did I fail to notice how my scar prickled as I felt his breath brush the side of my neck.

  As he stepped away, I could only nod and accept the paper he had written his number on. My hands rose to my temples and rubbed at the dull throb that started there as I watched him w
alk out the door.

  “Dang girl,” I heard Emily as she walked toward me.

  “Care to share one of the two Mr. McDreamy’s you seem to have snagged?”

  I tried to clear my head which now seemed to be in a fog and come back with something to her comment but could only manage half a smile.

  “You okay?” she said as she eyed me.

  “Ya,” I lied, and followed her to the low bench in front of a huge window looking out at the parking lot. I barely caught a glimpse of Cole’s black car peeling out.

  “Did everything go alright last night after I left?” Emily probed, her eyes looking concerned.

  “Ya, I guess. Sal woke up and started spouting off some gibberish about not trusting him and how he tricked her. Who ‘he’ is I have no idea,” I added as she started to ask the question. “They asked us to leave after that and said they would be in touch with me soon. I’m going up to the hospital in just a bit.”

  After this explanation there wasn’t much more avoiding the conversation we both knew loomed before us.

  “We um…never got to talk last night.”

  Emily stared at a certain point on the floor and nodded. She was quiet for nearly a full minute before she seemed to find the words.

  “What did you do to bring on the nightmares?” she finally asked, meeting my eyes with a probing stare.

  “Bring them on?” I questioned, wondering what on Earth she was talking about. “I don’t know that anything brought them on, I’ve just had them as long as I can remember.”

  A deep furrow formed between Emily’s eyes as she seemed to consider this. After a moment she finally spoke again. “I was twelve when they started for me. I always thought I was cursed with them as some kind of cruel punishment.”