Winter Wonderland
“Hey…” He said as he got up from bed and smiled, “Where are you going?”
“To my room.” She said firmly, “We may have done this, but we’re not together, okay?”
Shocked, he wasn’t able to say anything. He just nodded his head and with that she went down the treehouse and when he called her name and tried to follow her, she didn’t look back.
Don’t you break my heart slow
Jack was pacing by the patio while Lea was sitting down on a chair, not saying anything. “You’re…” Jack said, composing his thoughts, trying hard not to cry, “You’re…back.” He said, “You’re back.”
Lea just nodded her head, her brown curls tumbling on her shoulders.
He turned to look at her, took a deep breath and sat down across her.
“I’m sorry, Jack…” She said.
“Why did you leave?” He asked.
She didn’t answer for a while and then, “I’m so sorry…” She said, “It’s just…I just got so scared. I felt overwhelmed, like, like maybe, I wasn’t good enough. Like, maybe, I couldn’t be a good wife…That maybe you deserved someone better…” She said, “I waited for the divorce papers, though…”
“You really wanted to divorce me?”
“Jack, it’s not like that…It’s just…” She trailed off, not knowing what to say, “I just thought it was the right thing to do.”
He just nodded his head. No one spoke for a while until she did again.
“So, how have you been?” She asked, “What do you do?”
He smiled and then laughed lightly, “Well, I tried working for one of the family businesses but I figured it really wasn’t for me…” He told her, looking one of the cherry blossom trees nearby and then looking at her again, “I’m a teacher now.”
“A teacher?” She asked, “Oh my God, that is wonderful, Jack…” She smiled, “I’m happy for you.”
He smiled back, “What about you?” He asked, “Where do you live now? What do you do?”
“I’ve been staying in Venice for a while…” She told him, “I studied fashion design for sometime and now, I’m a designer.”
He smiled genuinely, “That’s wonderful…” He said, “I’m glad you’re doing what you love.”
“Thanks, Jack…” She said. He noticed her tone was so kind, like it was meant to be shared with a child or a friend. “So,” She went on, “You have a girlfriend?”
He laughed, “How can I?” He said, “We’re married.”
“Jack,”
“I still love you, Lea.” He told her, “I love you. All these years I’ve been waiting for you, even if everyone keeps on telling me to just…move on. I can’t. I love you. I always thought you’d come back, that maybe, things will be okay again, that you’ll be okay…I love you.” He held her hand.
“Jack,”
“Can you stay?” He asked, “Just for the holidays…Maybe, just…just until Christmas. Please.” He said, “Let’s try again…I mean, from the start.” He went on, “If by Christmas you still feel like you want to go, then okay, I’ll do and sign the divorce papers but please…Just…Just stay…Please?”
She looked at him, closed her eyes for a little while and then nodded her head, “Okay.” She muttered.
Need to be next to you
The following night, Tim went back to the bar and found Candice inside, just after singing her set. She had her hair in curls and was wearing this pink tiered dress. She smiled as she saw him.
“Hey…” She greeted, giving him a peck on the cheek.
“Hey…” He shot back and smiled.
“Nice seeing you here again…”
“Uh, about that,” He said, “I was actually thinking of your offer last night, you know, about singing here?”
“Yes?”
“Uhm,” He took a deep a breath, “I thought that maybe, I should take the offer…” He smiled, “I mean, it could be a good start for my new life in this new town, right?”
She laughed and hugged him, “You won’t regret this, I swear.”
He smiled, “I know I won’t…”
“Come on,” She said, holding his hand, “Let’s start your set now with a duet…Leigh Nash’s Need to be next to you?”
“Oh, uhm…”
“Come on,” She said, dragging him to the stage, “You work here now…” She winked and a few moments later, they started singing and the crowd seemed to love it. When he was still in San Francisco, nothing like this happened—it was always just work, home, groceries…Nothing surprising, nothing out of the ordinary. Soon enough, they finished a whole set of duets due to the audience’s requests. He spoke to her when they went down the stage.
“Thanks…” He told her.
“Don’t be silly,” She said, “You were good. I’m glad you did this.”
He smiled, “I’m glad you asked me to do this.” He went on, noticing how mesmerizing her eyes were, “Anyway, let me make it up to you…Uhm, are you free tomorrow afternoon? Just coffee or something…”
She smiled, “I like that.” She said.
“Okay,” He smiled, “I’ll see you.”
Shadows
Carly never thought she’d come back to Manila. She wanted to leave the city, leave the country and she did. She had no plans of coming back whatsoever. The Philippines, no matter how beautiful, has given her so many bad memories, so many things and people she wanted to get out of her mind. But due to Anielle’s wedding, she had to go back. And here she was, at the airport, waiting for Anielle and her fiancé, a few days after their phone conversation. She’ll be staying with them until after Christmas, which is a drag because she needs to stay with Alfred at home, because by the 23rd, Anielle will be married.
She was dragging her trolley bag with her when she heard a familiar, little voice call her from the waiting area.
“Carly!!! We’re here!” It was Anielle.
Carly smiled, waved and walked briskly towards Anielle. They hugged as they finally met in the middle.
“Oh my God, you’ve grown up!” Carly exclaimed as she hugged her, realizing how fast those three years she spent in New York has gone by.
“Of course!” Anielle chuckled, “I’m getting married, remember?”
Carly laughed and noticed a guy standing behind Anielle. The guy gave her a nod and a smile.
“Oh,” Anielle said, turning to the guy then back to Carly, “Carly, this is Kurt, my fiancé.”
“Hi, Kurt…” Carly smiled and shook Kurt’s hand.
“So, come on?” Anielle said, looking at Carly, “We’ll treat you to lunch…I’m sure you’ve missed Filipino food…” She smiled.
Carly smiled back, “Let’s…” She said.
***
Carly found herself eating just a little bit at the restaurant. She’s still shocked at how she’s back in the Philippines now, how she never thought she really wouldn’t be back. Anielle and Kurt were telling her about how they met, how it was a whirlwind but that it felt right, how they loved each other, blah blah blah. Carly was jet-lagged and all she wanted to do is find a bed and sleep.
“So,” Anielle asked, “How about you?” She asked her, “A boyfriend left in New York?”
“Oh,” Carly said, trying to fight back her drowsiness, “No, no…” She said, “There’s no one. I’ve been pretty busy with work and all…”
“Really?” Anielle asked, “How come? I mean, you’ve always had all these guys and all…Oh, anyway, Alfred’s still single.” She winked.
Carly just laughed, “I thought he has a girlfriend?”
“Aha!” Anielle teased, “You’re interested about my big brother’s lovelife! Ooh…”
“No, it’s just…”
Anielle was still laughing, “No explanations needed,” She said, “Well, he had a girlfriend. Take note, a girlfriend, just one. Judy…I think, they started being together d
uring his first few months after college…”
Carly sipped some juice, taking the news in. So they were together, She thought, That’s probably why he never answered my e-mails, my texts…
“But after a few months, okay, almost a year, to be exact,” Anielle went on, “They broke up.”
“Why?” Carly asked.
Anielle just shrugged, “No idea.” She said, “Honestly, I don’t think my brother really knew what he was in back then…”
“Oh.”
“How long haven’t you been talking, anyway?”
“Forever.” Carly almost initially answered, “I mean, it’s been too long, I couldn’t really count anymore.”
“Oh…” Anielle said, “Well, don’t worry, you’ll do much talking as you’ll be staying with us at home…”
Carly just smiled.
***
It was already about 4pm when Carly, Anielle and Kurt arrived in Anielle’s family’s house. Carly said hello to Anielle’s mom, Wendy and they had a little chit-chat until Wendy had to go meet some friends that evening. She told her she can stay to cook dinner for Carly but Carly said she was okay and that all she really needed was sleep. Wendy went out after a while, leaving Carly, Anielle and Kurt at home. On the way to the guest room where Carly would be staying, she noticed some beautiful paintings on the walls. One was a kid and his father, looking happy at a fair or something while the other one is a portrait of a woman in a red dress who seemed to be running away.
“You’ve beautiful paintings…” Carly told Anielle.
“Oh,” Anielle said, “Alfred actually made that.”
“Really?” Carly asked Anielle, looking at her, “Wow, they’re lovely…”
“Yeah, I actually told him to just drop his boring job ad be a full-time painter, he said that was insane.”
“Oh.” Was all Carly could say. She took one last look at the paintings and went to the guest room.
***
Carly woke up by 11pm and decided to go to the dining room to check if there was anything she could eat. Before that, she checked her phone and saw that Anielle left her a message saying she and Kurt would just be out for the night. She really looked like she just got out of bed but she didn’t care. No one was home anyway. She made her way to the dining room and was surprised when someone almost dropped his glass of water when he saw her. It was Alfred—one time friend, one time almost boyfriend, Anielle’s brother, and the guy whom she had so many “What if” questions in mind with.
“Jesus Christ,” Alfred exclaimed as he saw her.
“Oh my God…” Carly shot back. “I’m so sorry I just…”
Alfred shook his head, still surprised to see her. Why did he even forget she came home today? Oh, wait, he didn’t…No one told him, that’s the thing. He’s always out anyway, so how could they tell him, right? “I’m just…I was just shocked.” He told her, “Hey, you’re home…”
She smiled lightly, “Yeah, well, barging in your house…” Just a few words and yet the wall between them was already visible. The wall he put up a couple of years ago. The wall she wished that wasn’t there. “Uhm, I don’t think you were home when I arrived…”
“Yeah, uhm, I was at work.” He told her, “Just got home a few minutes ago actually, overtime…”
“Oh.”
He looked at her with a mix of fascination and sadness. Of course he still liked her, no doubt about that, but he never really told her anything for fear she might not reciprocate those feelings or whatever they were. It’s been 5 long years since he last saw her. 5 long years since he last talked to her. No one was speaking for a little while. Both of them just didn’t know what to say.
“I uhm, I left you some emails…” She finally said, remembering how she told him everything—that she liked him, that she was sorry if ever he felt like she wasn’t being a good friend, if ever she did something wrong that made him stop talking to her. She still remembered everything—she also still remembered how bad she felt when she didn’t receive any answers, nothing.
“I know,” He said, “I’m sorry.”
That’s it? She wanted to ask him, You’re sorry? That’s all? But she dared not to speak.
“Hey, uhm, it’s late…” He said, “I’ll just, uhm…See you at the rehearsal tomorrow evening…” And with that, he walked away.
Hearts burst into fire
Candice and Tim were at the coffeshop when they started talking.
“So,” He started, “I’ve already told you about my very boring life but uhm, I haven’t really heard enough about yours…”
She laughed, “Well, what do you need to know?” She said, “You know I work at the bar, I sing…”
“What’s your family like?”
She looked at him, drank some coffee and didn’t answer the question, “What’s yours like?”
He looked at her quizzically and then decided to answer, “I would be such a jerk to say they’re awful people, they’re not.” He said, “But…Let’s just say they’re really consumed by society and all these…norms…They’re alive just to work, to do the usual stuff, nothing out of the ordinary…I tried to be the same but…But it was just too much that I guess I’m not cut out for something like that…”
She nodded her head, “You wouldn’t like to live a very boring life,” She told him, “Life’s short. I’m glad you decided to move here.” She smiled.
He smiled back, “I am, too.” He said.
“So,” She asked, “You have a girlfriend or something?”
“Well, yeah…” He said, “Before, but we broke up. I’m just not good enough for her.”
She nodded her head one more time.
“Okay, enough about me, what about you?”
“What about me?”
He laughed, “Your family, as I’ve asked…And uhm, a lovelife?” He hoped she didn’t have a lovelife. It may be fast but he already thinks he’s fallen for her, that she’s special…That she’s extraordinary.
She didn’t speak for a little while until she took a deep breath and then, “Well, my dad was kind of a uhm…A mess. He’s…He’s a drunkard and he had al these vices, all these girls…” She sighed, “It was hard, growing up and seeing him hurt my mom like that…But uhm, I was 15 when I learned that my mom didn’t really love him. She just got married to him because…Because she was pregnant with me.”
“Candice,” He wanted to stop her because he thought it was the right thing to do but she shook her head and went on.
“It’s okay,” She said and sighed, “When I learned that, it really killed me. I mean, maybe, I shouldn’t have happened, maybe, if they didn’t have me, their lives would be better, they’d be better…So, I left and I went to live at…At the bar.”
“Oh.”
She smiled sadly, “That was just for a few months until Aimee, blonde girl, one of the singers, told me I could go live with her and her family. So, I did.” She went on, “If I have a regret, it’s about not being a good influence on my sister…”
“You have a sister?”
Candice nodded her head, “She’s two years younger than me…” She told him, “Her name’s Lea. She was very responsible, very intelligent…Exactly my opposite. She left Boston after High school, she went to Paris, and uhm…She got married.”
“Oh.”
“She left the guy a day after their wedding day.” She said and gave him a sad smile, “She ran away.”
“You know what happened?”
She bit her lip and nodded her head, “We talk sometimes, although I know how much she resents me. But I’m glad she still takes some time to tell me where she is, I’m still her big sister, anyway…She stayed in Venice for quite some time…I haven’t had the chance to talk to her recently though…”
He nodded his head, “And…your parents? What happened?”
“Oh, that…” She said, “My dad left Boston with
this rocker chick girl and my mom…Well…She’s married to her first love now.” She smiled, “A filthy rich guy who owns this town’s biggest mansion. I haven’t seen her in years…” She went on, “I’m glad for her, though…I mean, she got her second shot in life. I saw her once, when I passed by her house and she saw me…We just waved at each other, both suppressing the tears…”
He smiled, realizing how good of a person she was, “Whatever happened wasn’t your fault,” He told her, “You’re a beautiful person.”
She laughed lightly, “You’re sweet.”
“I mean it.”
She smiled, squeezing his hand from across the table, “I know you do.” She said. “Hey, I still haven’t answered your last question…”