Faulkner Reader

  “I did my best to deliver it,” he says. “I tried the store twice and called up your house, but they didn’t know where you were,” he says, digging in the drawer.

  “Deliver what?” I says. He handed me a telegram. “What time did this come?” I says.

  “About half past three,” he says.

  “And now it’s ten minutes past five,” I says.

  “I tried to deliver it,” he says. “I couldn’t find you.”

  “That’s not my fault, is it?” I says. I opened it, just to see what kind of a lie they’d tell me this time. They must be in one hell of a shape if they’ve got to come all the way to Mississippi to steal ten dollars a month. Sell, it says. The market will be unstable, with a general downward tendency. Do not be alarmed following government report.

  “How much would a message like this cost?” I says. He told me.

  “They paid it,” he says.

  “Then I owe them that much,” I says. “I already knew this. Send this collect,” I says, taking a blank. Buy, I wrote, Market just on point of blowing its head off. Occasional flurries for purpose of hooking a few more country suckers who haven’t got in to the telegraph office yet. Do not be alarmed. “Send that collect,” I says.

  He looked at the message, then he looked at the clock. “Market closed an hour ago,” he says.

  “Well,” I says, “That’s not my fault either. I didn’t invent it; I just bought a little of it while under the impression that the telegraph company would keep me informed as to what it was doing.”

  “A report is posted whenever it comes in,” he says.

  “Yes,” I says, “And in Memphis they have it on a blackboard every ten seconds,” I says. “I was within sixty-seven miles of there once this afternoon.”

  He looked at the message. “You want to send this?” he says.

  “I still haven’t changed my mind,” I says. I wrote the other one out and counted the money. “And this one too, if you’re sure you can spell b-u-y.”

  I went back to the store. I could hear the band from down the street. Prohibition’s a fine thing. Used to be they’d come in Saturday with just one pair of shoes in the family and him wearing them, and they’d go down to the express office and get his package; now they all go to the show barefooted, with the merchants in the door like a row of tigers or something in a cage, watching them pass. Earl says,

  “I hope it wasn’t anything serious.”

  “What?” I says. He looked at his watch. Then he went to the door and looked at the courthouse clock. “You ought to have a dollar watch,” I says. “It wont cost you so much to believe it’s lying each time.”

  “What?” he says.

  “Nothing,” I says. “Hope I haven’t inconvenienced you.”

  “We were not busy much,” he says. “They all went to the show. It’s all right.”

  “If it’s not all right,” I says, “You know what you can do about it.”

  “I said it was all right,” he says.

  “I heard you,” I says. “And if it’s not all right, you know what you can do about it.”

  “Do you want to quit?” he says.

  “It’s not my business,” I says. “My wishes dont matter. But dont get the idea that you are protecting me by keeping me.”

  “You’d be a good business man if you’d let yourself, Jason,” he says.

  “At least I can tend to my own business and let other peoples’ alone,” I says.

  “I dont know why you are trying to make me fire you,” he says. “You know you could quit anytime and there wouldn’t be any hard feelings between us.”

  “Maybe that’s why I dont quit,” I says. “As long as I tend to my job, that’s what you are paying me for.” I went on to the back and got a drink of water and went on out to the back door. Job had the cultivators all set up at last. It was quiet there, and pretty soon my head got a little easier. I could hear them singing now, and then the band played again. Well, let them get every quarter and dime in the county; it was no skin off my back. I’ve done what I could; a man that can live as long as I have and not know when to quit is a fool. Especially as it’s no business of mine. If it was my own daughter now it would be different, because she wouldn’t have time to; she’d have to work some to feed a few invalids and idiots and niggers, because how could I have the face to bring anybody there. I’ve too much respect for anybody to do that. I’m a man, I can stand it, it’s my own flesh and blood and I’d like to see the colour of the man’s eyes that would speak disrespectful of any woman that was my friend it’s these damn good women that do it I’d like to see the good, church-going woman that’s half as square as Lorraine, whore or no whore. Like I say if I was to get married you’d go up like a balloon and you know it and she says I want you to be happy to have a family of your own not to slave your life away for us. But I’ll be gone soon and then you can take a wife but you’ll never find a woman who is worthy of you and I says yes I could. You’d get right up out of your grave you know you would. I says no thank you I have all the women I can take care of now if I married a wife she’d probably turn out to be a hophead or something. That’s all we lack in this family, I says.

  The sun was down beyond the Methodist church now, and the pigeons were flying back and forth around the steeple, and when the band stopped I could hear them cooing. It hadn’t been four months since Christmas, and yet they were almost as thick as ever. I reckon Parson Walthall was getting a belly full of them now. You’d have thought ee were shooting people, with him making speeches and even holding onto a man’s gun when they came over. Talking about peace on earth good will toward all and not a sparrow can fall to earth. But what does he care how thick they get, he hasn’t got anything to do; what does he care what time it is. He pays no taxes, he doesn’t have to see his money going every year to have the courthouse clock cleaned to where it’ll run. They had to pay a man forty-five dollars to clean it. I counted over a hundred half-hatched pigeons on the ground. You’d think they’d have sense enough to leave town. It’s a good thing I dont have any more ties than a pigeon, I’ll say that.

  The band was playing again, a loud fast tune, like they were breaking up. I reckon they’d be satisfied now. Maybe they’d have enough music to entertain them while they drove fourteen or fifteen miles home and unharnessed in the dark and fed the stock and milked. All they’d have to do would be to whistle the music and tell the jokes to the live stock in the barn, and then they could count up how much they’d made by not taking the stock to the show too. They could figure that if a man had five children and seven mules, he cleared a quarter by taking his family to the show. Just like that. Earl came back with a couple of packages.

  “Here’s some more stuff going out,” he says. “Where’s Uncle Job?”

  “Gone to the show, I imagine,” I says. “Unless you watched him.”

  “He doesn’t slip off,” he says. “I can depend on him.”

  “Meaning me by that,” I says.

  He went to the door and looked out, listening.

  “That’s a good band,” he says. “It’s about time they were breaking up, I’d say.”

  “Unless they’re going to spend the night there,” I says. The swallows had begun, and I could hear the sparrows beginning to swarm in the trees in the courthouse yard. Every once in a while a bunch of them would come swirling around in sight above the roof, then go away. They are as big a nuisance as the pigeons, to my notion. You cant even sit in the courthouse yard for them. First thing you know, bing. Right on your hat. But it would take a millionaire to afford to shoot them at five cents a shot. If they’d just put a little poison out there in the square, they’d get rid of them in a day, because if a merchant cant keep his stock from running around the square, he’d better try to deal in something besides chickens, something that dont eat, like plows or onions. And if a man dont keep his dogs up, he either dont want it or he hasn’t any business with one. Like I say if all the businesses in a town are run like c
ountry businesses, you’re going to have a country town.

  “It wont do you any good if they have broke up,” I says. “They’ll have to hitch up and take out to get home by midnight as it is.”

  “Well,” he says, “They enjoy it. Let them spend a little money on a show now and then. A hill farmer works pretty hard and gets mighty little for it.”

  “There’s no law making them farm in the hills,” I says, “Or anywhere else.”

  “Where would you and me be, if it wasn’t for the farmers?” he says.

  “I’d be home right now,” I says, “Lying down, with an ice pack on my head.”

  “You have these headaches too often,” he says. “Why dont you have your teeth examined good? Did he go over them all this morning?”

  “Did who?” I says.

  “You said you went to the dentist this morning.”

  “Do you object to my having the headache on your time?” I says. “Is that it?” They were crossing the alley now, coming up from the show.

  “There they come,” he says. “I reckon I better get up front.” He went on. It’s a curious thing how no matter what’s wrong with you, a man’ll tell you to have your teeth examined and a woman’ll tell you to get married. It always takes a man that never made much at any thing to tell you how to run your business, though. Like these college professors without a whole pair of socks to their name, telling you how to make a million in ten years, and a woman that couldn’t even get a husband can always tell you how to raise a family.

  Old man Job came up with the wagon. After a while he got through wrapping the lines around the whip socket.

  “Well.” I says, “Was it a good show?”

  “I aint been yit,” he says. “But I kin be arrested in dat tent tonight, dough.”

  “Like hell you haven’t,” I says. “You’ve been away from here since three oclock. Mr Earl was just back here looking for you.”

  “I been tendin to my business,” he says. “Mr Earl knows whar I been.”

  “You may can fool him,” I says. “I wont tell on you.”

  “Den he’s de onliest man here I’d try to fool,” he says. “Whut I Avant to waste my time foolin a man whut I dont keer whether I sees him Sat’dy night er not? I wont try to fool you,” he says. “You too smart fer me. Yes, suh,” he says, looking busy as hell, putting five or six little packages into the wagon, “You’s too smart fer me. Aint a man in dis town kin keep up wid you fer smartness. You fools a man whut so smart he cant even keep up wid hisself,” he says, getting in the wagon and unwrapping the reins.

  “Who’s that?” I says.

  “Dat’s Mr Jason Compson,” he says. “Git up dar, Dan!”

  One of the wheels was just about to come off. I watched to see if he’d get out of the alley before it did. Just turn any vehicle over to a nigger, though. I says that old rattletrap’s just an eyesore, yet you’ll keep it standing there in the carriage house a hundred years just so that boy can ride to the cemetery once a week. I says he’s not the first fellow that’ll have to do things he doesn’t want to. I’d make him ride in that car like a civilised man or stay at home. What does he know about where he goes or what he goes in, and us keeping a carriage and a horse so he can take a ride on Sunday afternoon.

  A lot Job cared whether the wheel came off or not, long as he wouldn’t have too far to walk back. Like I say the only place for them is in the field, where they’d have to work from sunup to sundown. They cant stand prosperity or an easy job. Let one stay around white people for a while and he’s not worth killing. They get so they can outguess you about work before your very eyes, like Roskus the only mistake he ever made was he got careless one day and died. Shirking and stealing and giving you a little more lip and a little more lip until some day you have to lay them out with a scantling or something. Well, it’s Earl’s business. But I’d hate to have my business advertised over this town by an old doddering nigger and a wagon that you thought every time it turned a corner it would come all to pieces.

  The sun was all high up in the air now, and inside it was beginning to get dark. I went up front. The square was empty. Earl was back closing the safe, and then the clock begun to strike.

  “You lock the back door.” he says. I went back and locked it and came back. “I suppose you’re going to the show tonight,” he says. “I gave you those passes yesterday, didn’t I?”

  “Yes,” I said. “You want them back?”

  “No, no,” he says, “I just forgot whether I gave them to you or not. No sense in wasting them.”

  He locked the door and said Goodnight and went on. The sparrows were still rattling away in the trees, but the square was empty except for a few cars. There was a ford in front of the drugstore, but I didn’t even look at it. I know when I’ve had enough of anything. I dont mind trying to help her, but I know when I’ve had enough. I guess I could teach Luster to drive it, then they could chase her all day long if they wanted to, and I could stay home and play with Ben.

  I went in and got a couple of cigars. Then I thought I’d have another headache shot for luck, and I stood and talked with them awhile.

  “Well,” Mac says, “I reckon you’ve got your money on the Yankees this year.”

  “What for?” I says.

  “The Pennant,” he says. “Not anything in the League can beat them.”

  “Like hell there’s not,” I says. “They’re shot,” I says. “You think a team can be that lucky forever?”

  “I dont call it luck,” Mac says.

  “I wouldn’t bet on any team that fellow Ruth played on,” I says. “Even if I knew it was going to win.”

  “Yes?” Mac says.

  “I can name you a dozen men in either League who’re more valuable than he is,” I says.

  “What have you got against Ruth?” Mac says.

  “Nothing,” I says. “I haven’t got any thing against him. I dont even like to look at his picture.” I went on out. The lights were coming on, and people going along the streets toward home. Sometimes the sparrows never got still until full dark. The night they turned on the new lights around the courthouse it waked them up and they were flying around and blundering into the lights all night long. They kept it up two or three nights, then one morning they were all gone. Then after about two months they all came back again.

  I drove on home. There were no lights in the house yet, but they’d all be looking out the windows, and Dilsey jawing away in the kitchen like it was her own food she was having to keep hot until I got there. You’d think to hear her that there wasn’t but one supper in the world, and that was the one she had to keep back a few minutes on my account. Well at least I could come home one time without finding Ben and that nigger hanging on the gate like a bear and a monkey in the same cage. Just let it come toward sundown and he’d head for the gate like a cow for the barn, hanging onto it and bobbing his head and sort of moaning to himself. That’s a hog for punishment for you. If what had happened to him for fooling with open gates had happened to me, I never would want to see another one. I often wondered what he’d be thinking about, down there at the gate, watching the girls going home from school, trying to want something he couldn’t even remember he didn’t and couldn’t want any longer. And what he’d think when they’d be undressing him and he’d happen to take a look at himself and begin to cry like he’d do. But like I say they never did enough of that. I says I know what you need, you need what they did to Ben then you’d behave. And if you dont know what that was I says, ask Dilsey to tell you.

  There was a light in Mother’s room. I put the car up and went on into the kitchen. Luster and Ben were there.

  “Where’s Dilsey?” I says. “Putting supper on?”

  “She upstairs wid Miss Cahline,” Luster says. “Dey been goin hit. Ever since Miss Quentin come home. Mammy up there keepin um fom fightin. Is dat show come, Mr Jason?”

  “Yes,” I says.

  “I thought I heard de band,” he says. “Wish I could go,?
?? he says. “I could ef I jes had a quarter.”

  Dilsey came in. “You come, is you?” she says. “Whut you been up to dis evenin? You knows how much work I got to do; whyn’t you git here on time?”

  “Maybe I went to the show,” I says. “Is supper ready?”

  “Wish I could go,” Luster said. “I could ef I jes had a quarter.”

  “You aint got no business at no show,” Dilsey says. “You go on in de house and set down,” she says. “Dont you go up stairs and get um started again, now.”

  “What’s the matter?” I says.

  “Quentin come in a while ago and says you been follerin her around all evenin and den Miss Cahline jumped on her. Whyn’t you let her alone? Cant you live in de same house wid you own blood niece widout quoilin?”

  “I cant quarrel with her,” I says, “because I haven’t seen her since this morning. What does she say I’ve done now? made her go to school? That’s pretty bad,” I says.

  “Well, you tend to yo business and let her alone,” Dilsey says, “I’ll take keer of her ef you’n Miss Cahline’ll let me. Go on in dar now and behave yoself twell I git supper on.”

  “If I jes had a quarter,” Luster says, “I could go to dat show.”

  “En ef you had wings you could fly to heaven,” Dilsey says. “I dont want to hear another word about dat show.”

  “That reminds me,” I says, “I’ve got a couple of tickets they gave me.” I took them out of my coat.

  “You fixin to use um?” Luster says.

  “Not me,” I says. “I wouldn’t go to it for ten dollars.”

  “Gimme one of urn, Mr Jason,” he says.

  “I’ll sell you one,” I says. “How about it?”

  “I aint got no money,” he says.

  “That’s too bad,” I says. I made to go out.

  “Gimme one of urn, Mr Jason,” he says. “You aint gwine need um bofe.”

  “Hush yo mouf,” Dilsey says, “Dont you know he aint gwine give nothing away?”