Astra
Astra, when she awoke in the morning, was immediately aware that today was another day and held great possibilities. True, there was a concert in the offing with a young man whose company she must own she enjoyed, but that was a long way off, and when evening came, no telling what might have happened to prevent her going.
For by this time her telegram must have reached California, and it was quite thinkable that Duke might be angry enough even to waste money taking a plane to come over and visit vengeance on her head. He had been known to do things like that, even at a time when he was very hard up financially. So it was up to her to get some very definite immediate knowledge concerning her rights and just where she stood according to law.
She dressed hurriedly, ate her meager breakfast of crackers and milk, and spent a few minutes studying her father’s little book of directions. Then she wrote a kindly letter to her cousin Miriam.
Dear Miriam:
I’m sorry to have to write this letter under these circumstances. I did not want to talk about anything disturbing while you were on a holiday. But since Duke’s telegram came, I felt I must explain more fully than I did in my note.
For a long time I have been thinking that I ought to leave the shelter of your home and strike out for myself, for I could see more and more that I was in many ways a hindrance and an annoyance to Clytie, although she has tried to be nice about it. Also, I could see that I must be a disappointment to you in many ways. I am not fond of parties and operas and social affairs, and it brings a frequent difference of opinion between us, which does not make for happiness, of course. So as I thought it over after you left, I felt it would be a good thing for me to go now, while you are away and there would be no chance for discussion. I’m sure, when you understand my reasons, you will agree with me that it was just as well for me to get settled and not make you feel that you ought to urge my staying.
For you have been most kind, you know. But I am sure my father did not expect me to become a permanent burden on you, and he often talked with me about what I would do when I was entirely alone. So I am not without his advice in this matter either.
You see, Father was anxious that I should do some revising and copying on some of his articles that he was not able to prepare for publication himself.
At first it did not seem to me that I could get out his beloved work and go at it myself, but now, after the good rest I have had in your home, I find I am growing eager to get at it again. I am even more so since I received a letter a few days ago from his publisher, urging that I send them the manuscript he had promised them before he died.
Also, there was some writing that my father was very anxious for me to do on my own account—writing that through all the years he has been preparing me for. And I feel as if the time had come for me to get started on it. Of course, I can do that better here, where we had worked together. And that is why I felt I should make the break now, while you are away, and it would not be so hard.
You know, too, that it is only a little over a month now before I shall be coming of age, and therefore have a right to order my own life.
I am here where all my friends are: the Sargents, our old lawyer and doctor, and a lot of my own school friends. I am hoping to be very pleasantly located after Christmas in a place that I shall enjoy, because my father and I were there together.
So I hope that you will not feel too badly about my going, and I feel sure you and Cousin Duke will soon come to feel it was for the best. Hoping you will continue to have a lovely trip.
With loving wishes for you all,
Astra
Astra read over the letter carefully, hoping that she had not left in any of the rancor and hard feeling that the telegram had brought to her heart. Then after careful consideration she added a postscript.
I have left a few things behind, because I thought they would be much more useful to Clytie than to me, in the life that I shall now be living. I’ll be so glad if she will keep the fur coat. I thought it was so becoming to her when she wore it away, and my squirrel one is all that I shall need this winter. If I have left anything she doesn’t want, just throw it away or give it to someone who can use it.
Astra addressed the envelope quickly with a glance at her watch. She was to meet Mr. Lauderdale at his office at eleven o’clock, and there was barely time for her to get there.
The lawyer smiled as she entered his private office and arose to greet her.
“You are like your honorable father, aren’t you? Exactly on time. Sorry I had to hurry away so rudely last night, but it was important that I get there before the people sat down. Now will you sit down, and we will go over your affairs. I have papers ready. Mr. Sargent asked me before he went away to look after you. He was very anxious, although I don’t think he expected you to come east.”
“No,” said Astra. “I decided suddenly, while my cousins were away. I felt it was time I came back and got to work in the way my father had hoped I would. I knew it would be easier to get away without argument if I left while they were gone. I sent the telegram last night as you suggested.”
She laid down a paper containing a copy of the telegram.
The lawyer read it and nodded. “Very good,” he said. “I don’t see how they can take offense at that. If they make any further trouble, just let me know. I have your father’s papers with rather definite directions about your coming of age. And do I understand that you had been paying your board as your father provided for?”
“Oh yes. They objected to taking it at first, but soon got used to it when they understood Father wanted it done.”
“And they gave you receipts?”
“Why, Father said the checks would be receipts. I have kept the checks, of course.”
“That’s good. And I think it was a very wise thing to come away at this time. It is just as well not to have other people knowing all your private affairs. And by the way, you asked about guardianship. Here is the paper, written in your father’s own hand, which arranged that Mr. Sargent should be your guardian. And in the event of his death, or incapacitation, his brother Lewis and I are to share in looking after you and your affairs until you take them over yourself. No mention was made of your cousin, Mr. Lester, and none of some young Will Sargent in connection with your affairs. Your father felt that Will was too young. He is rather a frivolous, irresponsible fellow just now, of course, and I wouldn’t advise you to consult with him. He knows very little of his father’s actual business. And now, where are you staying, and what were your plans? Can I help in any way?”
“I am at the Christian Association apartments, but I intend as soon as I can get my bearings to hunt around and find someplace where I can feel at home where it won’t cost so much. The Association is more than I ought to pay, I guess.”
“Not at all,” said Mr. Lauderdale. “It was arranged by the will that if at any time before your majority it seemed wise for you to establish a place of your own, one of the houses owned by your father’s estate, or an apartment, or even just rooms in some suitable place, you were to be properly financed. Suppose you look things over and decide what you would like to do, and we’ll arrange the financial part. You know you will have enough to make you very comfortable, and I have the right to advance you money for your needs even before you are of age. My advice to you is to go slow, however, until you are sure just what you want to do. And by the way, there are two of your houses available if you should want either. One is the little stone cottage out Willow Haven way. You probably remember it. The old lady who has been renting it, a former nurse or servant of some sort of your mother, seems to think she has to leave it. She is living on a small pension, and I believe her son-in-law has persuaded her that it is more economical for her to come and live with them and pay her board instead of staying by herself.”
“Why, that would be Tilly Dager, our old Tilly!” said Astra joyfully. “I was wondering where I could find her, or if she is still alive. I’ll go out and see her and find out more about it.
But I don’t believe I would care to go there to live. It has no memories for me like the other. But I’d like to see Tilly.”
“Well, suppose you sound her out, whether she wants to keep it. We’ll need to know when her year is out, and that’s pretty soon. Poor old soul, I think her son-in-law is calculating on getting a new car, and he wants her pension money.”
“Well, I’ll see what can be done about it. If Tilly wants it, I’ll be glad to help her stay there.”
“And then there is your old home, about to be vacant,” went on the lawyer. “Mr. Albans and his wife have been living there, you know. A good deal of your family furniture is still stored there, I think.”
“Yes,” said Astra eagerly, “I was going to ask you about that. Father’s notes and books and desk and everything are there, and it is with them I want to work pretty soon. Would I be able to go there now and look things over?”
“Why, I guess you could. I don’t see any reason why not. Mr. Albans has had a nervous breakdown, and the doctor has told him that he and his wife both need to go to Florida or California and stay out in the sunshine. They called me up the other day and asked the possibilities. The doctor would like them to go very soon, but they do not feel they can afford to stay and locate permanently wherever they go. They called me up to see if they had a right to sublet. Of course, the fact that your goods are in the house made it a difficult problem to solve, so I told them I would consult with Mr. Sargent and let them know as soon as possible. You know that the Albans were intimate friends of your father’s, and they feel that they want to do the best for you. You might keep this in mind. It will not be an easy matter to rent the house again unless your goods are moved, and it could not be sold until they were out. I believe that your father’s idea was that the house should not be sold until you are of age, in case you might want to keep it.”
“Yes,” said Astra with a wistful look, “I’d love to keep it. Suppose I go and look it over and get some of my necessary papers, and then I can decide more intelligently.”
“Yes, that’s a good idea,” said the lawyer. “Perhaps you’ll call me up when you get back. I shall be in the office until five thirty, and I’d like to know how you feel about it. Of course we would have to put your goods in storage somewhere else if we tried to get another tenant, for I wouldn’t feel right putting a stranger there with your father’s valuable things in the house. You haven’t ever looked them over yourself either, have you? Well, we had better attend to that at once. Suppose you find out from Mrs. Albans just what their plans are and how soon they would be wanting to leave. I’m sorry I can’t offer you hospitality during the holidays, but my wife is out in Ohio visiting our daughter and our new little granddaughter, and I’m scheduled to leave Monday night to join them till after Christmas. But we’ll try and get you fixed up comfortably somewhere. How do you find it at that Association place? Is it very desolate?”
“Oh no, it’s quite comfortable,” said Astra cheerfully. “I’m getting along beautifully.”
“Well, you seem a lot like your cheerful father. But now, you spoke last night of having had some money stolen from you. Was it much?”
“All the last quarter’s allowance! You see I had just cashed it and paid my board out of it, having in mind the possibility of going away, perhaps coming here, and also getting some Christmas gifts for friends. But when I got back to my room after bidding my cousins good-bye, I found someone had been in my room and taken it.”
“Do you suspect anyone?”
“Yes, but I would have no proof whatever, and I decided, since I was coming away, I would rather not do anything about it. It would embarrass my cousins very much if I should try to do anything about it, and it wasn’t any of the servants I am sure, for they are trusted servants, and wouldn’t have to steal.”
“But do you think it is right to let a thief go free?”
“No. But in this case, it would be better for me not to be the one who tells. It may come out without me. In any event, I could not prove it.”
“Well,” said the lawyer, studying the girl’s sweet face earnestly, “I suppose it must have been one of the family, probably that young cousin, whom I seem to feel is a hateful piece, and if that is the case, I can see how you feel. I suppose I can understand why you are willing to let it go if that is it, though I’m not saying you are right. However, I can’t see how you had money to come away, lacking all that installment, unless you had saved a lot.”
Astra’s cheeks had crimsoned, and she lifted honest eyes to the lawyer’s, but she did not deny what he had suggested, and in a minute more he asked amusedly, “Just how did you manage your journey, my dear?”
Astra smiled grimly.
“Well, I had a few things I could sell, some bits of jewelry, old gold and silver. They didn’t bring much, but every little counts. I had bought a few clothes that I really didn’t need, and I found I could return them and get the money back. And for the rest, I pawned some books that I didn’t want to lose entirely. I can send for them as soon as more money comes in.”
“Well, you certainly were resourceful. But now we’ll end that matter once for all.”
He swung around to his desk, wrote a check, and handed it to her.
“Will that see you through till we can have a settlement?”
She glanced at it, and her cheeks flushed.
“Oh yes, I don’t need so much now. Just a little would help me out.”
“That’s all right. We’ll fix it up when the time of settlement comes. And don’t forget that if you need any help in any way, just call on me till Mr. Sargent comes home. You’ll be glad to know that I had word today that he is decidedly better, and I shall soon be able to tell him about your coming and get things straightened out. Now, are you anticipating any further trouble with that western cousin? Do you think you’ll be entirely safe till I get back from Ohio?”
“Oh, I’m sure I will be.”
“Well, if you need me, just call me. I’ll leave you my address and telephone number. And don’t stop because you think it’s expensive. Remember, I’m responsible for you now till Mr. Sargent gets back. Now, don’t forget to call me before five thirty. Take that check down to the old bank and start an account. You remember where the bank is, don’t you?”
“Oh yes,” said Astra happily, and, thanking him, she hurried away. The air was clear and bright, the snow dazzling, a real before-Christmas Day. God was in His heaven and smiling down upon her. Her own money in the bank, not borrowed. It almost seemed as if things were getting right in her world. And she was going to an orchestra concert tonight. The thought danced before her mind like a bright star.
After she put her check in the bank, she took a bus out to Willow Haven, thinking, trying to plan as she went. Suppose she took one of her own two houses. She couldn’t live absolutely alone. Her father had been insistent about that. If she was older it might be all right, but a young girl had no business living alone in the world, he said. For one thing, although she might be in a perfectly safe place so far as harm that could come to her was concerned, it didn’t look well. He couldn’t approve of girls going out into the world alone. They could always go to a reputable place where there were respectable people. It looked much better.
But of course she would love to have her own house, and Mr. Lauderdale had seemed to think she could afford it, if she preferred that way of living. He had even spoken as if she could afford to pay for some sort of housekeeper who would be on the order of a companion. Would Tilly do for that? Was Tilly able to work, and would she want to go back into service again? How old was Tilly anyway?
These were things she would have to find out before she committed herself.
As the bus swung into town and drew up half a block from the little stone dwelling where Tilly lived, Astra glanced at her watch to note how long it had taken her to get there. A little over an hour. No, that was too far from town for her to live. She wanted to be near enough to go to concerts and meetings and to
church evenings alone sometimes, and she wanted to be where there was taxi service, at least for the present. Sometime maybe she might have a car, but that something she would not plan for. A girl alone had no place in the country, unless she meant to stay at home the rest of her life.
The country was white with snow now. In some places along the road they had come there was no place for the pedestrian except in the road, dodging among traffic, of which there seemed to be plenty, even so far from the city. There was a continual procession of great trucks, coal trucks and oil trucks and produce trucks of every kind and description. She saw herself making her way on foot along this highway alone at night, with snow underfoot and snow coming down from heaven, and while she wasn’t a coward in any sense and was ready to do what had to be done, she knew her father would never have wanted her to locate herself where loneliness would be her continual lot. So the little stone house, pretty as it was, and attractive in many ways, was out of the question for a home for her. Neither was old Tilly likely to be the right companion for her days.
But she walked up to the door and knocked, and after quite a long minute the door was opened by an old woman with very red eyes who was tying on a clean apron and trying to keep her faced in shadow so her red eyes would not be noticed.
“Is this Tilly Dager?” cried Astra, her heart stirred by memories, as she recalled how often when as a little girl she had seen Tilly hurrying to get her clean apron tied before opening the front door.
The old woman looked up keenly at the girl, and then her fumbling fingers dropped the strings of the apron and it fell to the floor between them while old Tilly put up her hands in startled recognition.