Against the Wall of This Prison
Against the Wall of This Prison
By Jason Wallace Poetry
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Published by:
Against the Wall of This Prison
Copyright © 2015 by Jason Wallace Poetry
With my back against the wall, I bleed.
The last of all I could ever need
Has gone away.
Empty of all illusion,
As to what to say,
I fill the void.
All I ask is not to fall, but I see
That the past has come to call and feed.
I pray,
Upon shattered knees; I’d rather be
Anything but this emptying
Self-delusion that I’m included
In what’s become better than living bitterly.
Nothing seems anything.
Numbing, I dream to dissect my soul,
To know more than I’ve been told.
Exasperated in my own wisdom
That casts its own sentence,
I’m pitifully pitted against reality,
False, chaotic, tumultuous envying,
Tearing into my inner space,
Wearing away my every face
Until I’m broken to be
Everything I’m allowed to think I am,
But painful as it is, that is some production,
A reduction down to what they say is me.
I’m grounded from more,
Unable to rise,
Rewound, re-bound, unfound,
Lost and listless, bought. What is this?
Why?
Is this the answer to all I’ve questioned?
Is this my result, my unplanned and handed,
Undying lies, compromised, forever demanded
To be all that I can be,
So much less than I can’t be,
Only can’t be because I’m limited, tied, and living for less,
Mouth to hand, and my hands are pulled and clenched and sweaty and trembling with instant insanity.
To meet file size requirements, I have to add more material to this file. Below are some other poems of mine.
Dreams Never Come True
I used to think it was us.
I used to think it was you.
But now all I can think
Is dreams never come true.
Was it me, Baby?
Was it no use?
Is there a reason
Dreams never come true?
I can't stand wishin
On stars that deceive.
I can't be with you
When you can't believe.
I don't know what happened
To what we thought we knew...
But now it makes sense
Since dreams never come true.
My whole life has been wasted.
I've never been much.
I've come close to dreams that faded
And then lost every bit of trust
Because someone else didn't
Know what they had
And I could never be happy
When I only made them sad...
But though you don't believe me, Honey...
There's one promise
I can make to you...
No matter what else happens...
Dreams never come true.
If one day you want me
Like I wanted you,
I won't be waitin
Cuz dreams never come true.
The dream you made me believe in
Is now the nightmare I knew
Would come around some day
Cuz dreams never come true.
I'm tired of holdin
On to anyone new
Because all of the old
Were dreams that never came true.
I don't want nothin
Or someone, too.
The dream that died lately
Is the dream I call you.
And the dream I wanted
Will never come true.
My whole life has been wasted.
I've never been much.
I've come close to dreams that faded
And then lost every bit of trust
Because someone else didn't
Know what they had
And I could never be happy
When I only made them sad...
But though you don't believe me, Honey...
There's one promise
I can make to you...
No matter what else happens...
Dreams never come true.
So if you find somebody
Somebody new...
Know he's no better
Than what I gave to you...
But I have nothin I can give
Cuz you took it all
And made me want somethin
Not worth wearin down my wall.
So I'll build it back up
And let no one through
Since you proved once again
That dreams never come true.
My whole life has been wasted.
I've never been much.
I've come close to dreams that faded
And then lost every bit of trust
Because someone else didn't
Know what they had
And I could never be happy
When I only made them sad...
But though you don't believe me, Honey...
There's one promise
I can make to you...
No matter what else happens...
Dreams never come true.
I spent years
Gettin it all wrong,
Wishin and waitin
For somethin good to come along
And every time I feel it
It leaves me blue
Because everything that seems perfect
Is another dream that won't come true.
Empty and Broken
Empty and broken,
Oscillating to answer to
Everything everyone says of me,
Demanding my attention,
No careful condemnation
Erasing my innocence
Invasion of anything
I ever thought I'd be
Living No More
My mouth sewn shut
My eyes will bleed
No way to be whole
Though I feel the need
Rotting through a body of flesh,
Infecting me with wounds so fresh
Dead to my core,
Hoping to be
But still living no more
Come Save Me – Let Me Be
Maybe it will all be better tomorrow.
Maybe things won’t have to be this way.
Maybe, at the edge of all of this sickness and sorrow,
Is the dawn of some brighter day.