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    You Weren't the One

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    In the place of our love,

      You filled in with hurt,

      Colored unimaginable ,

      Unfulfilled first,

      And I wasn't enough,

      And I knew that so much

      I tried so hard to make it all work

      But you went away worrying and wasted,

      Wasting my time

      With all those lies,

      You always despised, delicate, forgetting the worth

     

      Is it a shame

      That the one not to blame

      Is the one missing the one

      That was there only in name

     

      I made mistakes,

      But everything I gave,

      You would find some way to take

      For granted and never grant me

      Anything but nothingness,

      An unpainted pain until the day that it came

      That you left me so alone and so, you walked away

      The door that slammed in my face

      Left an imprint on all of me to date

     

      And I just can't wait until it will wash away

      And leave something sweet in place of the taste

      Of bitterness of soul,

      Of emptiness so whole,

      Shattered but put back together by

      The only semblance of simplicity,

      Which is always my hate

      Though I know I don't

      Really feel that way

      I never forgot you, and I would have caught you

      If you would have let me know that you were falling...

      Away

     

      You moved on so easily

      Like I was only a filler of time

      But all that you would ever be to me

      Was more than you minded, what I wanted,

      Mine, all mine

      And I can't rewind,

      But I can't go forward

      I don't want anyone...

      Like I wanted you

     

      I don't need a thing

      That won't need me back

      And maybe just lie

      And tell me that I

      Am everything and anything

      When I am nothing and emptying

      All of my heart... and falling apart,

      And giving into misery, missing any bit of memory

      Of something better than

      Both of us divided, than all of us untied

      Meant to be together, but that was just some lie

      Twisted, unfailing, but really failing

      Because we believed that we could somehow be

      Unified, united, so very delighted... in a kind of wonderful

      When it was denied

     

      The only person that I've ever been

      Has been a lingerer, a longer,

      But never strong enough to begin

      To let go of so much of you,

      Knowing that my only

      Happiness, too

      Was wrapped up in wrong

      And stolen by the words of a woman

      So selfish, untrue,

      Melodic, apathetic,

      Angelic, and new,

      Turned into torment, burned by the bliss,

      Beleaguered by all of the bullshit I no longer miss

     

      But I do sometimes still miss you

      I do once in a while wish that I didn't lose

      The unbridled, never requiting, uncaring one

      Who gave me these scars

      For some kind of fun

      And then took her heart back

      Like it was never for me,

      A joke that she played because we couldn't be

      The things that we stated,

      You loved not, only hated

      To try them with me

     

      And now that you've been gone for so long,

      I wish you well and hope that he

      Can make you as happy

      As I tried to bring

      You up from your silent, unspoken, broken hole

      I didn't have strength, and you would not go,

      But for someone other than

      This man that I am,

      You'll give your all

      I will leave it alone

      I will probably keep missing you

      Oddly, keep wishing you

      Weren't the way I know that you are

      Partly pathetic, and somewhat my heart

      Let You In

      I don't wanna be around

      If you don't want me

      I can't fight for this

      If it's fake

      I can't escape how I feel

      Wanting to know

      And hoping it's so....

      Real

      Sometimes, I....

      Can't let myself trust

      No one's ever been true

      So I know that I must

      Believe in it all

      Believing in you

      Or nothing makes any sense

      So can I let go

      And let you in

      I've said so much

      That now I want to take back

      I promised I'd love you

      But do I know how to act

      Now that I thought

      About how much doesn't add up

      Can you be so honest with me

      And give me truly my needs

      Will I ever be enough

      Sometimes, I....

      Can't let myself trust

      No one's ever been true

      So I know that I must

      Believe in it all

      Believing in you

      Or nothing makes any sense

      So can I let go

      And let you in

      I fell so fast

      That I didn't think

      Wanting it to be right

      But now not sure if it's really you

      If it's honestly

      Anything to keep

      Sometimes, I....

      Can't let myself trust

      No one's ever been true

      So I know that I must

      Believe in it all

      Believing in you

      Or nothing makes any sense

      So can I let go

      And let you in

      I know that right now

      I can't help but hide

      How I feel tonight

      A total change from it all

      Can't let you know

      That I have my doubts

      That it wasn't worth the fall

      Sometimes, I....

      Can't let myself trust

      No one's ever been true

      So I know that I must

      Believe in it all

      Believing in you

      Or nothing makes any sense

      So can I let go

      And let you in

      Please tell me the truth

      Do I have you

      Or is there someone else

      Have you lied to me

      And let me act so blind

      And make a fool of myself

      Can I take the pain

      That you might put me through

      What if it's a lie

      And I've given into you

      Sometimes, I....

      Can't let myself trust

      No one's ever been true

      So I know that I must

      Believe in it all

      Believing in you

      Or nothing makes any sense

      So can I let go

      And let you in

      Sometimes, I know that I

      Can't trust like you'd want

      But if you saw my life

      You'd understand

      How messed up

      Everything really is

      And how I can't feel

      That I've done the smart thing

      But maybe still...?

      Sometimes, I....

      Can't let myself trust

      No one's ever been true

      So I know that I must

      Believe in it all

     
    Believing in you

      Or nothing makes any sense

      So can I let go

      And let you in

      If I let you go

      Maybe that's ok

      So should I let you in

      Should I be afraid

     

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      Twitter: @authorjwallace

     
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